Like a thousand doves
Void
01-06-2021, 12:35 AM
It had taken him a while to let himself return here again. Returning with no information or leads to give Void had been part of it, but still being uncertain of those feelings he had the last time they met was another, perhaps more present part of it. After much musing and contemplation he had come to terms with the fact that natural draw to the dappled man had actually been that strong then there must be a reason for it. He liked to believe that everything that fell into his path had a reason or a purpose. Where those things would lead him was still to be determined, but he was tired of running from these things. Just because they were uncomfortable or uncertain and he couldn't meet them with brute force or teeth didn't mean he should avoid them. The normally grassy slope was dusted with snow, something that seemed to be an ever-present feature of the landscape all across Boreas. This winter had come on fast and with a furry that made him a bit worried for what was to come for the rest of the season. That had been part of the reason why he had come now since he had a fear that if he didn't he might not be able to until the spring. Not seeing Void for a full season or more after a promise to see him here again felt unfair and cruel - to Void and himself. He climbed to the top of the cliff and looked out over the ocean the same way he had that night and had a surprising amount of nervousness stirring in his gut. He was nervous to face those emotions again, but perhaps more nervous that those emotions wouldn't be there at all. It was going into late evening as he stood there, watching the sun set over the horizon. He had decided to come earlier this time, but it was still fairly late in the day. He hesitated for a moment, wondering if he should go to the border of Void's pack to look for him, but decided he didn't want to risk crossing paths with anyone else from Abaven in the process. Instead, he lifted his head and let out a low call for the man, hoping that perhaps he would be somewhere nearby where he could be heard. When his howl faded into silence he looked back out over the ocean again. With a soft sigh he settled onto his haunches to wait and see if Void showed, carefully keeping his expression and posture in check to keep any sign of his internal conflict at bay. |
01-07-2021, 11:24 AM
Void was often emotionless and lost in his deeper thoughts, blue and lavender gaze straying to the sky more often than not. Cosmic dramas taking up the majority of his obsession. Recently though, since Plague asked to see him again, the star gazer often caught himself thinking of the Ashen wolf. Which caused the cool, calm, and collected Destruction to endure much more inner turmoil. He felt guilty for thinking about the baffling connection he felt between them when he should have been focusing all of his efforts on finding his lost family. Maybe it was a sign about himself, that he was losing hope that they would be returned to him.
With winter now fully embraced by all of the land Void was having second thoughts about taking his siblings and venturing out into the snow. Eulogy had been in Auster before, what if she somehow made it back down there? Again his thoughts ventured out further, what if she was already dead and they should have been searching around Abaven for much longer? The morbid thought struck him deeply, like every time he inevitably thought about the very real outcome at having already lost her.
Void quickly found his paws, the sudden need to get out and be away from his thoughts very real. The now man crossed Abaven’s borders and like fate acted as his guide headed towards the cliffs. The sight of the ocean so vast and expansive along with the memory of Plague there would certainly clear his mind. Though he was only half surprised when he heard the man’s voice call out from his destination.
Still a ways out Void paused to call back, the sound of his own voice a sorrowful song. He already knew Plague wouldn’t have any news on his family, but with a sudden fluttering in his chest Void eagerly loped forward. Knowing Plague called out for him brought an unsettling nervousness to his belly that couldn’t be described as unpleasant. The perfect distraction from his unsettled mind.
His massive frame approached at an easy pace, climbing the slope to return to Plague’s side and the calming rhythm of the ocean. The breeze held the hint of warmth, but cold reigned. The chill cooled his nerves as Void relaxed back onto his haunches. ”Hello again, Plague.” He greeted the man politely, his deep voice obscuring the sudden uncertainty he felt. Void had returned here with less answers than the pale Abraxas.
With winter now fully embraced by all of the land Void was having second thoughts about taking his siblings and venturing out into the snow. Eulogy had been in Auster before, what if she somehow made it back down there? Again his thoughts ventured out further, what if she was already dead and they should have been searching around Abaven for much longer? The morbid thought struck him deeply, like every time he inevitably thought about the very real outcome at having already lost her.
Void quickly found his paws, the sudden need to get out and be away from his thoughts very real. The now man crossed Abaven’s borders and like fate acted as his guide headed towards the cliffs. The sight of the ocean so vast and expansive along with the memory of Plague there would certainly clear his mind. Though he was only half surprised when he heard the man’s voice call out from his destination.
Still a ways out Void paused to call back, the sound of his own voice a sorrowful song. He already knew Plague wouldn’t have any news on his family, but with a sudden fluttering in his chest Void eagerly loped forward. Knowing Plague called out for him brought an unsettling nervousness to his belly that couldn’t be described as unpleasant. The perfect distraction from his unsettled mind.
His massive frame approached at an easy pace, climbing the slope to return to Plague’s side and the calming rhythm of the ocean. The breeze held the hint of warmth, but cold reigned. The chill cooled his nerves as Void relaxed back onto his haunches. ”Hello again, Plague.” He greeted the man politely, his deep voice obscuring the sudden uncertainty he felt. Void had returned here with less answers than the pale Abraxas.
01-10-2021, 12:32 AM
The sound of Void's returned call brought him a bit of surprising relief and a small smile twitched onto his lips. At the very least he knew that the black and white speckled male was still around and still wanted to see him. Slowly the things he had been concerned over were being chipped away, but the rest still held firm like lurking shadows around him. It made him wonder what it was like to be the kind of wolves that he occasionally saw that seemed to have no cares in the world - the ones that lived to have fun and to have as much enjoyment in their lives as possible. He had never lived that way and couldn't really even remember a time when he was a pup that he had felt that way. Perhaps there had been back then that he had just forgotten, but for much of his life that hadn't been the case. There was no real way to know what that felt like without living it he supposed, but it was something he still wondered about all the same. Plague's pale ear twisted to listen as the sound of Void's footsteps approaching him, pulling him away from his inner musing as his attention got drawn to the other male. Turning his head a bit to look away from the ocean, his emerald gaze landed on his company and that same faint smile flickered across his muzzle. "Void," he replied simply in return. Almost instantly he realized that the same twist in his stomach was still very much present and he was able to check another question mark off of his list. What he had felt the previous time they saw each other hadn't been a fluke or a coincidence. He couldn't tell yet if Void felt the same, but at the very least he knew how he felt. What he was actually going to do with that information he wasn't sure, but it was still nice to have an answer to one of his many various concerns. There was one heavy weight that he had to get out of the way first though, and his already stoic expression fell a bit as he glanced back out toward the open water. "I haven't found them," he said after a beat of silence, his ears flicking uncertainly. "I'm sorry I don't have better news. At the very least they haven't been anywhere near Ashen." |
01-10-2021, 02:53 PM
Despite the sudden racing in his heart Void felt like he was ascending a pathway to the stars. The evening was becoming cold and crisp but the sky was vivid and clear. All of the stars would be out tonight, and there were few better places to see them than the moon touched cliffs. Plague seemed like he could appreciate the peace of beholding the endless night of the universe. Knowing his worries were truly so small, Void lived life with relative ease. Beings lived and died and the world and the moon and stars still went on without you.
Void quickly gained Plague’s attention as he appeared over the rise, those forest green eyes did much to add to the otherworldly feel that such a night provided. Plague’s features hinted at a smile as he greeted him back softly. Void lowered his head slightly in return and only a moment passed before the Abraxas confirmed Void’ suspicion. He’d seen no sign of the lost wolves in his life.
Despite the news Void still felt another rise of emotion flutter in the depths of his belly. He didn’t feel much in the way of emotion, but being around Plague made him feel more alive. He could never be called vibrant by any means, but a grin played at his dark features and a mischievous glint lingered in his eyes. When he was with Plague he could forget for a moment what was riding on his efforts in finding his mother.
The young Destruction man sighed softly, his eyes on the ocean as he composed himself, he knew the answer before Plague spoke, but there had been that tiny fraction of hope. ”I assumed that was the case.” He returned, seeking Plague’s soft green eyes for the strange comfort he provided. ”Your effort, and honesty..” though so very difficult to hear. ”Are appreciated.” Void tried to give a reassuring grin, but the guilt of being here instead of looking for Eulogy trickled back in.
Void had never felt so conflicted. He found himself wanting to be here with Plague, but how could he find so much enjoyment when his mother could be out there suffering? The star spangled wolf clenched his jaw and tried to relax even though his heart thundered in his chest and his attention strayed to Plague. ”The guilt is nearly overwhelming.” He mumbled, worried that he’d opened up too much for the ivory male. Like if he knew Void had so much baggage he would deem him unsuitable company.
Void quickly gained Plague’s attention as he appeared over the rise, those forest green eyes did much to add to the otherworldly feel that such a night provided. Plague’s features hinted at a smile as he greeted him back softly. Void lowered his head slightly in return and only a moment passed before the Abraxas confirmed Void’ suspicion. He’d seen no sign of the lost wolves in his life.
Despite the news Void still felt another rise of emotion flutter in the depths of his belly. He didn’t feel much in the way of emotion, but being around Plague made him feel more alive. He could never be called vibrant by any means, but a grin played at his dark features and a mischievous glint lingered in his eyes. When he was with Plague he could forget for a moment what was riding on his efforts in finding his mother.
The young Destruction man sighed softly, his eyes on the ocean as he composed himself, he knew the answer before Plague spoke, but there had been that tiny fraction of hope. ”I assumed that was the case.” He returned, seeking Plague’s soft green eyes for the strange comfort he provided. ”Your effort, and honesty..” though so very difficult to hear. ”Are appreciated.” Void tried to give a reassuring grin, but the guilt of being here instead of looking for Eulogy trickled back in.
Void had never felt so conflicted. He found himself wanting to be here with Plague, but how could he find so much enjoyment when his mother could be out there suffering? The star spangled wolf clenched his jaw and tried to relax even though his heart thundered in his chest and his attention strayed to Plague. ”The guilt is nearly overwhelming.” He mumbled, worried that he’d opened up too much for the ivory male. Like if he knew Void had so much baggage he would deem him unsuitable company.
01-10-2021, 03:42 PM
When Void responded to his disappointing news, Plague looked toward him again, finding his intringing blue and lavender gaze for a moment. He certainly appreciated the kind words Void gave him despite the fact that he had failed and he nodded quietly in response. The grin he was giving felt forced and perhaps someone less attuned to other's reactions or emotions might have not been able to pick up on that fact, but Plague saw though it. He frowned slightly, but didn't mention the observation. He lived much of his life in a practiced calmness and stillness when it came to his expressions and emotions just to keep himself from doing similar things, though it did feel far more difficult to do that around Void. The Destruction pulled his emotions to the surface weather he wanted them to be there or not - a fact that he was quickly beginning to realize as they spent more time together. Plague felt a slight crease in his brow and another tug of a frown cross his features when Void admitted the guilt he felt. As much as he wanted to comfort the man and insist that he didn't need to feel any guilt over the situation, he did understand the emotion. Things that were out of his control often brought him some form of guilt. The "what ifs" of what could have been if he had acted differently, the feeling that he should be able to fix something and finding that he couldn't, the knowledge that he could have done more if he had just found a way to do so... It all accumulated in a sense of guilt. "I understand," he replied after a moment, their gazes meeting again. "I'm not giving up," he insisted, the renewed determination showing in his expression. "We'll find them... Don't worry too much." He knew telling him not to worry would be impossible, but perhaps not worrying as much could be achieved. Even though he knew he had his own worries to be concerned about, he liked having a moment to push them aside and dedicate himself to lifting Void up. Having something to focus his energy on besides himself was oddly therapeutic and letting himself embrace that fluttering, twisting, heart racing emotion was freeing in a way he didn't expect. With a shred of waning courage, Plague crossed the small distance between them gently brush his nose to the other man's cheek, bringing the bridge of his muzzle under Void's to lightly nudge it upward. "Keep your head up," he told him softly while trying to ignore the emotion came through on the tone of his voice without meaning for it to show its face. |
01-10-2021, 04:42 PM
Void felt every ounce of turmoil build up in his gut along with the butterfly feeling that Plague introduced him to. The mixed feelings in the boy who spurned emotion felt overwhelming, and he felt like any moment that overload of emotion would spill through and chase Plague away. The one who seemed to focus and intensify his emotions the most. Maybe coming out here had been a mistake, he needed time with his thoughts. He needed to go out and look for his family.
But then Plague’s emerald gaze met his and he felt the soothing calm that he also blanketed over Void’s storm of emotion. Then he spoke, his words were determined and instilled a certainty in Plague that was fading. They would find them. Void was inspired by Plague, he’d never met Eulogy nor Desolate and yet here he was encouraging Void forward. The young Destruction felt his heart clench as he gazed at the fiery souled man. He felt himself frozen as Plague sifted slightly, closing the distance between them and gentle nuzzling the fur of his cheek.
Void instinctively closed his eyes to savor the affection as Plague pushed his muzzle under Void’s dark jaw. ‘Keeping his head up’ was easy as he had Plague here to remind him and help to prop him up. Void had family in Abaven, kin that he loved and adored, but the emotions they created in him were vastly different to what he experienced now. His chest was tight, his heart beat fast, and as Plague touched him gently a different feeling built deep in his belly. Below the butterflies and the nerves Void felt desire.
Unwilling to deny the feeling, and having been emboldened by Plague’s affection, Void brought one start splattered limb around the pale man’s shoulders. Hesitantly he aimed to pull him closer into his chest as a balm for the guilt, worry, and sorrow that filled him. He didn’t know what he was doing, but holding onto Plague felt right. Another soft sigh left him as he squeezed his eyes shut and focused on the warmth of the man in his arms as he banished the emotional weight that crushed him.
But then Plague’s emerald gaze met his and he felt the soothing calm that he also blanketed over Void’s storm of emotion. Then he spoke, his words were determined and instilled a certainty in Plague that was fading. They would find them. Void was inspired by Plague, he’d never met Eulogy nor Desolate and yet here he was encouraging Void forward. The young Destruction felt his heart clench as he gazed at the fiery souled man. He felt himself frozen as Plague sifted slightly, closing the distance between them and gentle nuzzling the fur of his cheek.
Void instinctively closed his eyes to savor the affection as Plague pushed his muzzle under Void’s dark jaw. ‘Keeping his head up’ was easy as he had Plague here to remind him and help to prop him up. Void had family in Abaven, kin that he loved and adored, but the emotions they created in him were vastly different to what he experienced now. His chest was tight, his heart beat fast, and as Plague touched him gently a different feeling built deep in his belly. Below the butterflies and the nerves Void felt desire.
Unwilling to deny the feeling, and having been emboldened by Plague’s affection, Void brought one start splattered limb around the pale man’s shoulders. Hesitantly he aimed to pull him closer into his chest as a balm for the guilt, worry, and sorrow that filled him. He didn’t know what he was doing, but holding onto Plague felt right. Another soft sigh left him as he squeezed his eyes shut and focused on the warmth of the man in his arms as he banished the emotional weight that crushed him.
01-10-2021, 08:08 PM
When he followed his instincts to give the small, gentle affection to the star-marked man at his side, he wasn't really sure what to expect. He hadn't let himself overthink the action before he did it and for once just followed what his emotions were driving him to do. He was a little surprised but relieved when Void didn't pull away from the touch, instead seemingly enjoying the affection and drinking it in. The reaction made Plague's heart pound even more loudly in his chest and his once clear and distinct thoughts all blurred together into a cloud of emotion. That was only intensified when Void surprised him by draping a limb around his shoulders and pulling him close. The motion caught him off guard and he blinked with surprise for a moment before slowly letting himself ease into the unexpected closeness. His ears folded back against his skull and his expression softened, his eyes closing as his head went to rest against the slightly taller man's chest and tucking his face into Void's neck. He always so focused on being strong and stoic, a pillar for others to rely on, that anything like this felt so out of what he thought his reality should be. This felt right. Everything he knew and what he expected from himself told him that it shouldn't, but he couldn't deny the peace that this closeness gave him and if he was able to offer Void a bit of comfort like this then that alone made it worth it. He tried to not think too deeply about the feeling of Void's warmth against him and the feeling of their fur brushing together, but it was difficult to do that when his thoughts and emotions were already so short-circuited. After a while of indulging himself in Void's touch he finally lifted his head from his chest and brought his gaze back to the nearly iridescent eyes in front of him. His heart was beating as if he had just ran here from Ashen and as confused as he was about his emotions and feelings in that moment he was inclined to ignore all of that just to be able to enjoy this moment that he wasn't certain would come again. Their muzzles were close enough together that he could feel Void's breath against his nose, but he was at a loss of what do to. He felt like he was being pulled into two different directions between what he wanted and what his duty called him to do - figuring out which side of him was stronger was difficult. He struggled to find words to say and ended up just searching Void's gaze for answers to questions that he couldn't quite form. |
01-10-2021, 08:56 PM
Plague offered just a hint of hesitation at his embrace before relaxing against him gently. Void felt his mind slow after racing since the last time the two of them met. He blinked back his emotions as he looked up towards the brilliant sky and held Plague close. Though they barely knew each other Void swiftly found an oasis in him, he’d glimpsed who the man really was and that was enough to allow him and ask him close like this. Family meant a lot to Void, but he’d never really thought of his own future or where he expected to be. Maybe it was how little he valued his own life compared to those around him.
Having Plague here like this, in the quiet still of the night, Void wondered if he might change some of his opinions. He’d never found himself looking at girls, or boys, but there was some unexplainable draw he felt towards Plague. The feeling of his strong shoulders in his grasp, the subtle warm smell and feel of his white fur. Not much time passed before all he could hear was the man’s gentle inhale and exhale of air. The chill disappeared and all he could feel was his warmth. He pulled away and the stars disappeared and all he could see was the subtle green gaze looking up at him.
Void felt the air of confusion and uncertainty that surrounded them. They were so close and their embrace was so comfortable to be in. The Destruction acted on his instincts as he was lost in the seas of emotion. Plague offered no answer, but he made no move to be released from Void’s embrace. He searched that endless jade geze, not knowing what he might find. He found no answers but he leaned forward slightly, aiming to close the distance between them so the tips of his nose touched Plague’s. ”What is it about you?” He whispered, his voice low and in awe as he puzzled through this strange but thrilling experience with this man.
Having Plague here like this, in the quiet still of the night, Void wondered if he might change some of his opinions. He’d never found himself looking at girls, or boys, but there was some unexplainable draw he felt towards Plague. The feeling of his strong shoulders in his grasp, the subtle warm smell and feel of his white fur. Not much time passed before all he could hear was the man’s gentle inhale and exhale of air. The chill disappeared and all he could feel was his warmth. He pulled away and the stars disappeared and all he could see was the subtle green gaze looking up at him.
Void felt the air of confusion and uncertainty that surrounded them. They were so close and their embrace was so comfortable to be in. The Destruction acted on his instincts as he was lost in the seas of emotion. Plague offered no answer, but he made no move to be released from Void’s embrace. He searched that endless jade geze, not knowing what he might find. He found no answers but he leaned forward slightly, aiming to close the distance between them so the tips of his nose touched Plague’s. ”What is it about you?” He whispered, his voice low and in awe as he puzzled through this strange but thrilling experience with this man.
01-10-2021, 10:56 PM
Everything felt distant as he sat there in Void's embrace, the air still around them and the soft light of the moon and stars giving him just enough light to see the details in Void's face - the slight lavender sheen of his eyes, the texture of his white speckled fur, the emotion shining in his expression that mirrored his own. He wanted to get lost here. He wanted to pretend that he could have whatever he wanted and live whatever kind of life he wished to live. He wanted to get lost in this moment and not think about the life he was going to have to go back to when it finally ended. When the light of day crested over the horizon and disrupted this bubble that they had created for themselves, would the truth of things become too glaring obvious for him to ignore? Their noses softly touched together and Plague's ears flicked back again, his breath catching in his throat. "What is it about you?" The same question he was wondering to himself about Void spoken and breaking the silence. He had never allowed himself to consider who he might end up being with at some point in his life or really even go looking for such a thing. His entire life had revolved around his training, his family, and shaping himself to suit them best. He had always had the seed placed in his mind that he must continue on their family line. His father had been very clear - bringing more children of their god into the world was the greatest honor. If that was the case, why would his path cross with Void's so heavily and why would every fiber of his being be calling out to his like this? Without really realizing it, the pounding of his heart reached a point where he thought that he might be on the edge of panic. He could hear the rush of blood in his own ears as he stood on the edge of indecision with his lips so dangerously close to Void's. What he wanted and needed felt so at odds with what was expected of him and what he had always expected from himself and it was pulling him in two. He needed answers to questions that he didn't know how to ask, he needed relief for a need he didn't understand. His mind reached a point where it was too foggy and distant to control his own actions and his own primal desires took over long enough to push him forward. He tipped his muzzle enough for their lips to connect, his emerald eyes closing as any remaining sense he had of the outside world was shoved away. For a moment he lost himself in the feeling of this kiss and how easy it felt. Everything felt right despite how much his internal teachings and beliefs were screaming that it wasn't. He finally pulled his muzzle away from Void's and blinked his eyes open, the world rushing back in on him and reality staring at him in the form of Void's lovely eyes. That feeling of uncertainty that was bordering on panic came welling up in his chest again, squeezing around his ribcage and making it hard to breathe. "I'm sorry, I... I shouldn't have..." He pulled away from Void's embrace and staggered to his feet, looking at the ground between them as he took a couple steps back, putting space between him and the man he desired even though he knew he shouldn't. His jaw tensed and he shook his head as if he was trying to clear it, but it was no use. "I... I don't want to hurt you..." he muttered, the gnawing guilt of feeling like he was leading Void on when they couldn't be. But why couldn't they? Because of traditions and religion that it felt like he had barely ever followed? Furious with himself and this situation, he turned and stalked several steps away along the edge of the cliff, his hackles bristling as the storm of emotion raged on with an uncontrollable and devastating furry. He paused and swung his paw at a rock sitting near the edge, swatting it over into the dark oblivion toward the beach that laid somewhere below. He stopped, staring at the snow covered ground with his teeth gritting together against the internal battle he caused for himself. There was no clean answer for any of it, no answer that would let him have everything he wanted - no answer that wouldn't cause someone to be hurt by his choices. Plague turned back toward Void with a hard swallow and a nervous flick of his ears, barely able to make himself meet his gaze. "I don't know what to do," he breathed after a heavy beat of silence, his claws digging through the snow at the soil underneath as he fought with himself over wanting to return to Void's warm embrace. |
01-11-2021, 08:18 AM
Plague seemed just as confused as he felt, but he remained close even as Void touched his nose. The other man suddenly took on a look of shyness but the expression only made Void want to press further. The emotions and feeling that fluttered and flowed through his veins was unlike anything Void had felt before. Plague really did do something to him, but he struggled to comprehend what was happening. All he knew was the rightness of the feeling of Plague in his arms. The warmth of his closeness and the thrill of the intimacy they shared.
There was a warring peace and panic inside as his heart tried to beat out of his chest as he embraced the soft and airy feeling Plague caused in him. Slowly he worked through what he felt, that he wanted to stay here and hold onto the Abraxas man. He wanted to be closer, to know him better. As Plague tilted his features and their lips touched any semblance of sense left the ivory splashed man’s mind. A sudden blank slate as all of his focus was diverted to the feeling of his lips against Plague’s.
His own blue and lavender eyes slid close as that moment consumed him. Void aimed to hold Plague tighter as more defined emotions emerged and his insides felt like a whirlwind raging inside. The turmoil was real inside, but out the world stopped. His heart stopped and nothing mattered but the man in his arms. He hadn’t initiated the sweet kiss but he felt different as Plague pulled away. Void blinked back his bright lilac shaded eyes as he searched Plague’s expression.
He suddenly felt drained and empty as Plague pulled away, slipping from his grasp as he apologized and suddenly looked simply ashamed of himself. Void tried to take a step forward to follow his companion but stopped himself as Plague moved farther away. He remained silent, his gaze watching as Plague warred with himself. Void had seen the passion he’d felt in those endless green eyes and he couldn’t understand why he suddenly put distance between them when it seemed like being close was so perfect.
”What’s wrong?” He asked carefully, uncertain if he wanted the answer. Void wanted to return to those perfect moments they’d shared, but he felt like he only caused more turmoil for Plague. ”I didn’t mean… I wouldn’t want…” His heart went from feeling full and complete to shriveled and sickly as Plague’s whole demeanor changed. Void didn’t want to cause him harm like this. Had holding him, and indulging been a mistake? ”I’ll go.” He tried not to let the emotions shine through, but the confusion and worry returned to him tenfold.
There was a warring peace and panic inside as his heart tried to beat out of his chest as he embraced the soft and airy feeling Plague caused in him. Slowly he worked through what he felt, that he wanted to stay here and hold onto the Abraxas man. He wanted to be closer, to know him better. As Plague tilted his features and their lips touched any semblance of sense left the ivory splashed man’s mind. A sudden blank slate as all of his focus was diverted to the feeling of his lips against Plague’s.
His own blue and lavender eyes slid close as that moment consumed him. Void aimed to hold Plague tighter as more defined emotions emerged and his insides felt like a whirlwind raging inside. The turmoil was real inside, but out the world stopped. His heart stopped and nothing mattered but the man in his arms. He hadn’t initiated the sweet kiss but he felt different as Plague pulled away. Void blinked back his bright lilac shaded eyes as he searched Plague’s expression.
He suddenly felt drained and empty as Plague pulled away, slipping from his grasp as he apologized and suddenly looked simply ashamed of himself. Void tried to take a step forward to follow his companion but stopped himself as Plague moved farther away. He remained silent, his gaze watching as Plague warred with himself. Void had seen the passion he’d felt in those endless green eyes and he couldn’t understand why he suddenly put distance between them when it seemed like being close was so perfect.
”What’s wrong?” He asked carefully, uncertain if he wanted the answer. Void wanted to return to those perfect moments they’d shared, but he felt like he only caused more turmoil for Plague. ”I didn’t mean… I wouldn’t want…” His heart went from feeling full and complete to shriveled and sickly as Plague’s whole demeanor changed. Void didn’t want to cause him harm like this. Had holding him, and indulging been a mistake? ”I’ll go.” He tried not to let the emotions shine through, but the confusion and worry returned to him tenfold.
01-11-2021, 10:38 AM
Seeing the devastation he caused Void with his retreat from their embrace hurt him more than the situation itself did. Any sibilance of control over his emotions was completely gone and the internal conflict he was battling was clear in his expression. He felt so deeply guilty for doing this to to Void, but there was also the ingrained guilt from his upbringing that he couldn't ignore. The moment he heard Void say that he would leave a flash of panic hit his system and he took a step toward the other man, saying, "No! No, please, I... I'm sorry..." How did he even begin to explain what was going through his head? Did he even want to explain the truth he was raised to believe? He just couldn't get the worry out of his mind that he was going to disappoint his family yet again, that all the work he was putting in to rebuilding that relationship with his sisters would be for nothing. Plague felt like he was living two lives - the life he wanted and the life he was expected to lead. That instinctual draw to Void's side pulled him forward and reluctantly he gave in to his own desires, padding forward till he found himself inches from the man that looked as if a piece of the night sky had been brought down in the form of a wolf that now stood in front of him. "I don't want to hurt you," he repeated softly, emotion thick in his voice as he grit his teeth against the tears of frustration that threatened to well up in his eyes. Nothing in his life could be easy, nothing could be simple. Every step was an up hill struggle and a battle to take every inch for himself. Everything he had ever been taught or believed was constantly at odds with what he wanted and he didn't know where the median was between it all. He didn't often think of his father these days, but in this moment he nearly wished that he was still here so he could ask him for his advice - to see how far he would have to fall from his expectations to have the things that made him happy. He tried to lean forward the brush his muzzle against Void's once again, though he would understand if the male refused him. It would only be right for the turmoil he had caused. "What is it about you?" he asked past the lump that sat heavy in his throat, echoing back to Void's own words just moments before. Even being just this close to him felt right. He felt like he was where he always should have been, but if that was the case why did he feel so worried and torn over what this decision would mean for him? "I've never felt like this before... about anyone..." he admitted with a nervous flick of his ears. Pulling his face away from Void's again, he looked down at the ground between them though he didn't step away this time. He felt dejected and defeated, knowing that no matter what decision he made he would be letting someone down in the process. Either way, Void deserved to know the truth. If he was going to cause this heartache, he deserved to know why. "My family are decedents of a God," he explained, his tone still hesitant and uncertain while he kept his gaze focused on the glittering snow near Void's dark feet. "At least... At least that's what we were taught. I'm not sure what I believe any more... But there are certain expectations and obligations that we are supposed to follow." It felt painful to even have to explain this to him. He wanted all of this to just be easy, but nothing could be that simple for him. "I've already strained the relationship with my family so much... I'm just afraid of what might happen if I push it any further..." |
01-11-2021, 03:59 PM
Knowing he’d been so close, and realizing the ease at which he could be affectionate with Plague, made watching pull away so much harder. Void could plainly see the conflict that boiled in Plague and he didn’t want to be the cause. Leaving now would have been the most difficult but perhaps the best option, but Plague stopped him. ”Whatever I can do..” He trailed off, hoping Plague knew he had no need to apologize. They were both thrown out into the deep water, neither with much guidance to look to for help with their plight. Plague didn’t loose his conflicted air but he turned around and returned to his place beside Void.
The Destruction refrained from leaning in, feeling himself just as lost with no idea where this had come from and why he was so suddenly wrapped up in one wolf. Why did he want so badly to just be here beside him, losing himself as his problems disappeared in his forest green gaze. ”Plague,” he tried to stop him as he repeated himself, insisting he didn’t want to harm the star spangled wolf. Void’s words were echoed back to him as Plague returned his muzzle to Void’s. He couldn’t help but lean into the touch as the euphoria returned and the pale Abraxas opened up further. Saying nothing that Void himself didn’t think the same. There was no one else he’d felt like this about before. He didn’t know the reason, and his emotions changed so swiftly he felt like he had no time to think about what anything meant anyway.
Void leaned into him slightly, pressing his cheek to Plague’s as he spoke about his conflict. Of godhood and the expectations that were placed on him. If this was.. The thoughts stopped him. Void wanted to be in Plague’s company he was drawn to him and meeting here on the cliffs to be next to him helped him retreat from his real life. Plague spoke hesitantly of mixing this magical world of their own for the reality that waited at home. Critical family that would be hard pressed to accept Void as the one Plague chose.
”I would rather have only some of you, than none.” He replied as he attempted to sort out everything laid before them. Void hadn’t yet had his fill of this strange path he’d found himself on with Plague. There was so much more to Plague he didn’t know yet, and they couldn’t be stopped when they’d only just begun. ”I couldn’t take you from your family, and... we’ll always have this place.” Void reminded him, hoping the proximity to Abaven would keep many packs from settling here so that statement might remain true. He aimed to nuzzle in softly, unwilling to venture further when there were still so many uncertainties before them. But Void couldn’t deny the draw of his warm fur.
The Destruction refrained from leaning in, feeling himself just as lost with no idea where this had come from and why he was so suddenly wrapped up in one wolf. Why did he want so badly to just be here beside him, losing himself as his problems disappeared in his forest green gaze. ”Plague,” he tried to stop him as he repeated himself, insisting he didn’t want to harm the star spangled wolf. Void’s words were echoed back to him as Plague returned his muzzle to Void’s. He couldn’t help but lean into the touch as the euphoria returned and the pale Abraxas opened up further. Saying nothing that Void himself didn’t think the same. There was no one else he’d felt like this about before. He didn’t know the reason, and his emotions changed so swiftly he felt like he had no time to think about what anything meant anyway.
Void leaned into him slightly, pressing his cheek to Plague’s as he spoke about his conflict. Of godhood and the expectations that were placed on him. If this was.. The thoughts stopped him. Void wanted to be in Plague’s company he was drawn to him and meeting here on the cliffs to be next to him helped him retreat from his real life. Plague spoke hesitantly of mixing this magical world of their own for the reality that waited at home. Critical family that would be hard pressed to accept Void as the one Plague chose.
”I would rather have only some of you, than none.” He replied as he attempted to sort out everything laid before them. Void hadn’t yet had his fill of this strange path he’d found himself on with Plague. There was so much more to Plague he didn’t know yet, and they couldn’t be stopped when they’d only just begun. ”I couldn’t take you from your family, and... we’ll always have this place.” Void reminded him, hoping the proximity to Abaven would keep many packs from settling here so that statement might remain true. He aimed to nuzzle in softly, unwilling to venture further when there were still so many uncertainties before them. But Void couldn’t deny the draw of his warm fur.
01-11-2021, 04:40 PM
Plague's breath hung in his chest as Void's cheek pressed to his and he had to close his eyes against the force of the relief it gave. His kind words, his insistence that he wanted to have some part of him rather than none... It complicated things more, but it did wipe away some of the confusion. He knew what he wanted and as he sat with his cheek leaned into Void's he grew more certain of that by the minute. Being here, feeling like he could finally be himself - his true self - with Void was so overwhelming that he didn't know how to process it. It was so much more than he had ever expected to feel this kind of acceptance, this blessing that came in the form of Void's affection. He returned that nuzzle whole heartedly and mentally shoved away any outside influences or concerns. It was a temporary salve, but it was enough for now to just indulge in the sweetest temptation he could possibly imagine. He pressed his face into Void's neck and lifted a paw to wrap a paw around the starry wolf, shifting himself closer to settle himself into Void's embrace once more. He held on to him tightly as a mix of relief, joy, and something else more akin to attraction and lust washed over him like a tsunami. He knew that if he was going to fully give himself over to this feeling and this attraction then he was going to have to come to terms with whatever that might mean for his relationship with his family. It wasn't fair for Void to be hidden away and not have a place in his life should he truly wish to be there. But for now... for now he could let himself indulge in this sinful life. He lifted his head from Void's neck again and brought his gaze to meet his once more for a moment before a slight grin pulled at his lips and he leaned forward to press a much more certain and firm kiss to the other male's muzzle. The claws of his paw that was resting on Void's back flexed and gripped at his fur while he lost himself in that moment, his eyes closing and any rational thought escaping his mind. He didn't know how much time passed as he dove into exploring all these brand new sensations, figuring out the feeling of lips moving together, fur brushing against fur, and tongues tracing teeth. It all made his heart pound and for once he felt alive. Every nerve felt like it was on fire in the most delightful of ways. At some point without really realizing it they eased their way down onto the ground and when their lips parted he blinked open his eyes to find himself standing over Void, emerald eyes finding lavender tinted blue, and a deep, breathless chuckle left him as he grinned down at his star crossed lover. "Whatever happens... You're worth every moment of it," he breathed, gently pressing the tip of his nose to Void's. |
01-11-2021, 06:12 PM
Feeling Plague relax against him in relief made every moment previous worth every second. Void could feel his muscles relax as he leaned more heavily against him and cast away the cares. While they were here on this cliff they didn’t really matter. Nothing mattered but the wolf beside him for these few moments. He knew Plague felt the same, the way he returned those easy affections as Void carefully toed the waters. They could both full embrace this crazy feeling that drew them together here. Letting go of their worries and woes was why Void had returned here and Plague helped him along as he returned his earlier embrace.
Void curled his chin over Plague’s head as he held on tight and buried his features into his star spangled neck. Void wrapped his own massive arm around Plague’s shoulders as his reached around his neck and pulled tight. The Destruction had never felt the feeling of being needed more than now. He was always there to help his family and his pack but as Plague clung to him Void grasped back none of them existed in his mind. The guilt would return but right now everything was about the pale wolf at his side. He could smile and mean it, not just wear it to comfort someone he cared about. This one was real as Plague pulled back slightly to reveal his adoring, but mischievous gaze.
When he leaned forward and kissed him again Void gave in fully and let the storm overwhelm him. He embraced Void and all that he was, because he’d ever felt so electric as when he was with him. His emotions focused and flooded him but in ways he couldn’t ever truly comprehend until now, until their lips met under the starry sky. Time stopped and sped up at the same time, to make himself more comfortable he’d eventually lowered his massive frame to the ground as he was caught up in every new moment with Plague. The fast beating of hearts and small gasps of breath tickled his senses and filled his belly with a mysterious desire.
When Plague pulled away Void blinked back the haze that settled over him as he indulged and got lost in new sensations. He pulled back the corners of his lips and revealed his pearly canines in a grin as Plague’s emerald gaze sparkled down at him. Whatever he had to endure, being together was worth the risk. Their noses touched and Void whispered, overwhelmed by all of it. Plague’s unconditional affection, these crazy emotions that bubbled up and took over, or how much he just wanted to hold Plague tightly to his chest. Still, he felt conflicted and had no wish to drive Plague from his kin. He knew how hard he fought to find his own.
Void reached up slightly to kiss Plague’s nose, happy to gaze into those dreamy eyes. ”Do what you can for them, family should be precious.” He told him quietly, though he hated to dwell on the realm beyond the cliff. ”As you are swiftly becoming to me.” Void couldn’t read the future, but he wished for it to include this sudden blessing of a god in mortal form.
Void curled his chin over Plague’s head as he held on tight and buried his features into his star spangled neck. Void wrapped his own massive arm around Plague’s shoulders as his reached around his neck and pulled tight. The Destruction had never felt the feeling of being needed more than now. He was always there to help his family and his pack but as Plague clung to him Void grasped back none of them existed in his mind. The guilt would return but right now everything was about the pale wolf at his side. He could smile and mean it, not just wear it to comfort someone he cared about. This one was real as Plague pulled back slightly to reveal his adoring, but mischievous gaze.
When he leaned forward and kissed him again Void gave in fully and let the storm overwhelm him. He embraced Void and all that he was, because he’d ever felt so electric as when he was with him. His emotions focused and flooded him but in ways he couldn’t ever truly comprehend until now, until their lips met under the starry sky. Time stopped and sped up at the same time, to make himself more comfortable he’d eventually lowered his massive frame to the ground as he was caught up in every new moment with Plague. The fast beating of hearts and small gasps of breath tickled his senses and filled his belly with a mysterious desire.
When Plague pulled away Void blinked back the haze that settled over him as he indulged and got lost in new sensations. He pulled back the corners of his lips and revealed his pearly canines in a grin as Plague’s emerald gaze sparkled down at him. Whatever he had to endure, being together was worth the risk. Their noses touched and Void whispered, overwhelmed by all of it. Plague’s unconditional affection, these crazy emotions that bubbled up and took over, or how much he just wanted to hold Plague tightly to his chest. Still, he felt conflicted and had no wish to drive Plague from his kin. He knew how hard he fought to find his own.
Void reached up slightly to kiss Plague’s nose, happy to gaze into those dreamy eyes. ”Do what you can for them, family should be precious.” He told him quietly, though he hated to dwell on the realm beyond the cliff. ”As you are swiftly becoming to me.” Void couldn’t read the future, but he wished for it to include this sudden blessing of a god in mortal form.
01-11-2021, 07:28 PM
This whole evening had been a whirlwind of emotions to the point where he could hardly keep them straight. The only thing he knew for certain was that he had Void and for now that was enough. He wanted the world and even though he didn't see a reality where he could have everything he wanted, he would at least find comfort in the fact that Void could be his world and he would have everything he ever wanted in him. Logically he knew that he was just caught up in the wild spin of new, fledgling love, but he never wanted to give up this feeling that he felt when he looked into Void's eyes. He had been swept off his feet by this man and now there was no turning back. Nothing was going to come between him and this addicting pleasure he got from the smallest affections. His ears perked forward to listen to each of Void's whispered words and a twist of mixed emotions slipped through him. Void was right, family should be precious, but he also thought of what Toxicity had said to him - had they ever seen a normal family? He wanted them to be precious to him and to put them first above all else, but he was beginning to grow skeptical of the possibility that they would regard him the same way. In the span of a few evenings together, Void had already found his way to a priceless pedestal in his mind. If it was possible for this man to take such a notable space in his heart so easily, was it worth all the effort to try and win his family's affections? The longer he pondered the situation he was in the more questions built up without answers. The notion that Void was quickly considering him family brought the smile back to his face though and his expression softened when the star painted male said so. "I feel the same way for you," he replied, though he truly thought that perhaps the male might be more important to him than his own family. Plague left another gentle kiss on Void's nose as well before carefully climbing off of Void so he could get off of the cold ground. "Sorry for getting you covered in snow," he mentioned with a slightly apologetic grin, though he would never say that he was sorry for how passionately he had kissed Void to get them into that position. "I'll be sure to bring some things to make it more comfortable out here next time." Next time. Next time. That thought alone was enough to make an excited flutter spin through him and a grin tug at his lips. He was going to get to see Void again and again. Selfishly he wished he could sweep Void away so they could live their lives out together, but for now he would let the excitement over their next meeting hold him over till then. The thought of leaving Void for any period of time was painful, but he knew he needed time to think and to figure out a plan. If he ever wanted their lives to more properly intertwine he would have to face his family and tell them the truth. "I'll be back soon. I'm not sure I could bare to be away from you any longer than necessary." |
01-11-2021, 08:25 PM
Void had responsibilities and his siblings to look after and protect at home, but for right now he wouldn’t worry. Not soon enough they would be out searching, and he’d be far and away from this special place. He didn’t know the dynamics between Plague and the family within Ashen’s borders, but Void had taken up his place in protecting what family he had left. Gloom and Spirit, such small numbers but they were everything to him, up until Plague stole his place in Void’s heart. Thankfully they didn’t dwell long, it was hard to think of family when it was so easy to catch himself staring into Plague’s jade eyes. They shared all of these new experiences and emotions and both quickly realized what it meant. Void never saw himself falling in love, he never had the desire to look, but Plague had found him.
He could feel the close of the night as Plague pulled away again, leaving room for Void speckled form to return to his feet. He sighed softly as Plague apologized for the snow and he shook his pelt lightly to rid it of any clinging snow. Void found himself grinning, ”I’d let you do it again.” Even though Plague offered to make their time here much more comfortable the next time they met. Void looked down and felt his expression falter. How long would next time be? Void aimed to nudge Plague’s neck consolingly, knowing the feeling he spoke of. Even before tonight he’d thought a lot about the man he was readying himself to say goodbye to again.
”Don’t rush.” He told him solemnly. ”Spirit, and Gloom, my brother and sister, we’re going to go and find out mother. I don’t know how long we’ll be gone.” His dark ears fell to his skull as he told him. "We'll meet here again, I just don't know when. I want to make our way to Auster, that was where she'd gone when we were first separated. " His guilt quickly returned, and he suddenly felt like he had to renew his efforts and more to find Eulogy. So his family could be complete, and he could be with Plague.
He could feel the close of the night as Plague pulled away again, leaving room for Void speckled form to return to his feet. He sighed softly as Plague apologized for the snow and he shook his pelt lightly to rid it of any clinging snow. Void found himself grinning, ”I’d let you do it again.” Even though Plague offered to make their time here much more comfortable the next time they met. Void looked down and felt his expression falter. How long would next time be? Void aimed to nudge Plague’s neck consolingly, knowing the feeling he spoke of. Even before tonight he’d thought a lot about the man he was readying himself to say goodbye to again.
”Don’t rush.” He told him solemnly. ”Spirit, and Gloom, my brother and sister, we’re going to go and find out mother. I don’t know how long we’ll be gone.” His dark ears fell to his skull as he told him. "We'll meet here again, I just don't know when. I want to make our way to Auster, that was where she'd gone when we were first separated. " His guilt quickly returned, and he suddenly felt like he had to renew his efforts and more to find Eulogy. So his family could be complete, and he could be with Plague.
01-11-2021, 09:18 PM
Thinking about the undetermined amount of time that might stretch between now and when they would see each other again was hard to come to terms with, something he could see in Void's face as well. He hoped that time would pass faster than they realized and before they knew it they would be together. He wanted to be optimistic, no matter how hard that was for him to do. He gave a solemn nod when Void informed him about the trip that he and his siblings would be making to Auster in order to look for his mother. He wanted to go with them to help him on his search, but he knew that he couldn't abandon his place among his family to do so. There were things he needed to take care of in the mean time. "Be safe," he told him with a soft smile, doing his best to hide the disappointment at the news that it might be longer than he originally thought before they met here again. "If you need anything during your journey or if you're passing Ashen's lands and need a place to stay, call for me." He didn't care what sort of excuse he had to make to be able to give them refuge, he was worth the fight. He leaned his cheek against Void's as he added, "I hope you find her." He pulled back enough to see Void's eyes again and to give him a gentle kiss before he finally made himself turn away to go back home. If he lingered any longer he wasn't sure he'd ever actually leave. Plague cast a glance over his shoulder after a few moments, watching Void's form fade into the distance. The farther away he got the harder each step became. |