The definition of the past is...
Kiyo had gone to the beach to do a little fishing. Yui had insisted that she’d do it for her, but the former matriarch had denied the akita, telling her she needed the exercise anyways. She needed to keep herself in shape to be of any use to her son and daughter-in-law, and just in case she needed to run in order to protect them from Hideki’s minions. If she had to, the woman knew she’d use herself as bait any day to keep them from finding the whereabouts of Hattori and his coming brood. They would only ever know stories of what had happened in their ancestral homelands if she had any say in the matter, and even then they would be few.
Once she’d caught a few good sized fish, she gathered them up and made her way back to the palace. Before she entered she gave herself a good shake, riding herself off excess water and allowing Aki to drape a warm fur over her shoulders to stave off the chill. Then, she headed to the royal chambers where Venom and Hattori resided. She gave a chuff of greeting, poking her head around with jaws full of fish to find it was only her daughter-in-law. Her expression was clearly asking for permission to enter.
She knew the big day was getting close. Her massive girth, the movement in her belly, and swelling teats predicted the end would soon come. With spring would come new heirs for the Ashen Empire, as well as an end to Venom’s suffering. She was trying to stretch and alleviate the aching pain in her back when Anko announced Kiyo’s arrival. Sunset gaze lifted to see the Lady, breakfast in jaw, as she sought permission to enter.
”Come in,” Venom welcomed her softly as she straightened and tried to look more content than she really felt. She was counting the days until she met her children, not only in eagerness for the new life but also to have her body back.
Once she was bidden entry, the woman carried herself gracefully forward and placed a particularly plump fish in front of the well-rounded Empress. “I brought you something to eat in case you were hungry,” she offered with a bow of her antlered head and a gentle smile, backing up a little until there was an appropriate distance between them. The woman settled down herself, her long, silken tail trailing out behind her and the rest that draped off her body pooling like liquid silver onto the ground.
She allowed herself a moment to brush her warm, molten gaze over the other’s form. Venom had certainly ballooned out in the past week, her sides bulging and her teats filling to show the impending arrival of her brood. She pondered over how many she thought the woman would have. The Ashen matriarch was certainly larger than her by over a foot, so it was entirely possible that she could be holding the same amount of pups that Kiyo had born but not look nearly like a pufferfish as the silver maiden had.
“How are you and the children doing this morning?” she asked before ripping off a piece of the fish under her paw.
Venom fiddled absently with the fish, not quite feeling hungry yet as she shifted yet again with her extra weight. Venom tried not to scoff at Kiyo’s question, it was a rude gesture. She was just frustrated with how uncomfortable she was. ”The polite answer is that we are well,” her words were almost reluctant. ”But they are as eager to be out as I am to have them.” Venom was still nervous about giving birth, she wasn’t looking forward to that part at all, but she was also ready to be finished sooner rather than later. ”I’ve been much more achy, and my appetite is.. Finicky at best.” She said as she all but avoided saying how miserable she felt.
Kiyo swallowed her mouthful of fish and gave a chuckle at Venom’s less than exuberant response to her question. “My dear, you don’t need to be so formal with me. I’m your subordinate and I’ve never been much of one for the theatrics of unnecessary propriety. Childbearing is painful on the best days and exhausting on the worst. Your hips ache, your stomach burns, you can hardly keep anything down, you’re none-the-lesser for admitting what all women think: get them out already,” she said with a mirthful glint to her eyes. Oh how she remembered it all. And she knew, if she’d been given the option in a safe way, she’d have done it again in a heartbeat.
“But, trust me when I say that once they’re here, everything else falls away except for you and them. It’s worth it, all of it,” she amended, the mirthful glint turning to the softness of a woman who had experienced just that feeling. But, there was a sad edge to her voice. Hattori was her one and only child and she didn’t plan on having any more. Hideki had effectively ruined her, succeeding in controlling her even when he wasn’t present. She wasn’t terrified of men, per say, but she was much more guarded around them. She knew what a man was capable of, so she kept herself close to her own heart and out of the reach of others for good reason.
”Were you so big with Hattori?” She asked with a slight tilt of her head, trying to tread carefully. She wasn’t deaf, but she wasn’t sure if she should question the sad note that hinted in Kiyo’s voice. ”I feel like a monster.”She hadn’t felt right complaining to Hattori, but he was well aware of the discomfort all of this caused her. Despite it all he was also there to support her in every way she needed him without complaint. As eagerly as he stepped up to aid in running the pack he did so tenfold in his role of father.
Venom made an attempt at a joke and Kiyo couldn’t tell if she simply wasn’t comfortable with her yet in that manner, or if she wasn’t one for joking in general much like her son. Hattori could be a bit dry, she knew that, but she’d already seen how the woman had been able to balance him out in ways that no one in Iga would have ever been able to. She dared to think it fate, however painful the fate had been for her on her end, that had brought him to Boreas. But, perhaps she was getting ahead of herself with her aged flights of fancy. She simply wanted more for her child than she’d ever had.
The Empress asked her if she felt like she did with Hattori and she nodded with a small smile, pausing to consider her words. She wasn’t sure if she should tell the woman about her one and only experience with birthing her own pups, lest it make her worry too much. But, then again, it wasn’t like she wouldn’t find out eventually. It didn’t surprise her that she didn’t seem to know about the fate of Hanzo’s 6 other siblings, as he had always been private, but she’d hoped that he’d have managed to open up at least that much to her.
Eventually, she decided to be honest, as Kiyo usually had a hard time telling a lie anyhow. ”I’d venture to say worse, if you can image it. But, then again, Hanzo’s litter had 7 total, including him, so I felt very much like a snake who’s eaten too many mice.” Of course, when the 6 stillborns had been expelled they’d been a fraction of what their true size and potential would have been. She could tell from a glance at their tiny black bodies that, should they have been alive and healthy, they would have been giants just as the Shogun was. But, then again, she likely would have surely died in the birth instead of barely skating by like she had. If only she’d been stronger, maybe she’d have been able to provide enough nourishment for them to thrive then…
Her sunset gaze returned to her belly, not the first time she’d tried to see past the dark fur to the womb beneath. What was hidden there and what did she have to face when the day came? Venom hated how nervous and anxious it all made her, she was the Empress, the steadfast leader of the Ashen Empire and here she was reduced to these crippling emotions. ”I hate how anxious I am.” She didn’t mean to make the conversation so one sided, but Kiyo was here, and seemed to be an eager ear to listen. ”I”m excited too, I’m so ready to meet and love them, but...” She couldn’t explain where the feeling came from, but in this aspect of her life she’d always been uncertain and now as she lived through the experience her worry only intensified. Venom shook her head, trying to clear the thoughts and disappointment from her.