Things hadn’t really changed since they had last spoke. Though, perhaps Ulric was giving Aranea more space now too not that she had noticed. She felt embarrassed, or insecure about what Ulric had witnessed and how. So she tried not to linger on his thought while she worked or they were in the training center together. But it didn’t seem to take her long, at least a few days if not more, to find herself craving the man’s touch. She sat at her window, watching and listening to the beach in the distance, a while into the night. She decided to brace the cold as she exited her room and made her way to Ulric’s, not lingering outside his door. She pushed the door open gently with her nose, pausing in the doorway a few seconds, eyeing where Ulric was on his bed. Finally she closed the door behind her and went directly to crawl into his grasp. Words were nonexistent to her right now, but her intentions were far from what they were the last night they faced each other. All she wanted was to be in his strong hold. Walk "Talk" Think

Ulric had resigned himself to focusing on his training and caring for his children, refusing to let himself dwell on what was happening - or not happening - between himself and Aranea. As difficult as it was, he refused to let himself slide back into the state he had been in after Azariah had disappeared. Any time she crossed his mind he was quick to push the thought away and distract himself with another patrol, another spar, or something he could craft for the pack. Anything to keep him busy and keep him from lingering on something that was just going to end up confusing and hurting him while he gave Aranea the space she seemed to need.

The only real exception to that was late at night while he was laying in bed without anything that could distract him from the void her distance had created. He had grown used to her presence at night during the weeks when they were recovering from their injuries, even if she usually slipped away in the early morning. Having her warmth there was enough to stave off the loneliness that tended to creep up on him. His sleep was fitful and at best he spent the night getting small bits of sleep throughout the night, ending up feeling like a series of naps rather than a restful sleep.

He was somewhere in that foggy world between being awake and asleep when his door opened, making him lift his head groggily to look toward the door as a cold breeze brew into the room. He blinked several times when he spotted Aranea in the doorway, trying to make sure he wasn't imagining things. Soon enough the door closed again and she hopped up onto the bed where he was laying, shocking him as she immediately pressed into him and found her way into his arms. For a moment he was so stunned that he didn't know how to respond, loosely holding her in his embrace and looking down at her with confusion. One moment she was pushing him away, the next she was climbing into his bed.

But once she filled that cold space that hurt him more than anything else, he couldn't resist pulling her closer with a sigh. He pulled her smaller frame into his chest and held her tight, his ears folding back against his skull. "What are you doing here?" he whispered against her neck as he buried his face into her fur, letting himself indulge in her presence more than he probably should.

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Ulric at first wouldn’t grab Aranea while she snaked in between his paws, she wasn’t sure if he wasn’t awake or just simply didn’t want her there. He didn’t seem to oppose so Aranea decided she would rather just be here in his touch if nothing else. It became more clear that Ulric missed her as much as she missed him as he actually took hold of her, burying his face into her small body. She slowly went to groom what was available to her, as if letting him know not to worry about her leaving anytime soon. "I just..." she paused, not wanting to leave him unanswered after their last encounter. But she didn’t know what to say. There was no real way for her to explain what she was feeling. "I just wanted to be with you." She laid in silence for a few moments, giving Ulric much needed attention that she had deprived him of, letting him do the same as he wished. There was a lot he still didn’t know about Aranea. She didn’t want him to feel pity for her either. She liked to believe she was stronger today than any day before. "Tyranis." she whispered, pushing her face into him and not wanting to make eye contact, "He stole my son away from me. I never saw them again." she had yet to see either Tyranis or Rain since she woke the night he disappeared. And up until recently, she thought both Rain and Nuada were dead in the present world. "I wasn’t there for my daughter. I didn’t want to live anymore. She suffered because of me." she was a lot calmer when she spoke to Ulric compared to when she told Allegro of her past. But still, even then, she couldn’t help the tear fall even while she wasn’t sobbing or didn’t appear emotional. She didn’t think she’d ever forgive herself for what happened, especially seeing the state Nuada was in when she was reunited with her. She dwelled in what she couldn’t do for her first children, but still she loved being in Ulric’s embrace more than wishing she could have done better for them. Tyranis’ abandonment was beyond superior to any of her other emotions. Walk "Talk" Think

Ulric knew there probably wouldn’t be an answer that could explain everything neatly and when Aranea did finally answer he supposed it was as good an answer as any. She was still such a mystery to him in how she acted and how she responded to things. Sometimes it felt like he was meeting a different wolf every other time he encountered her and it was hard to guess how she would react - whether she would shut him out or draw him in. Still, he couldn’t deny how soothing her touch was and just having her in his arms again eased a world of problems. He returned her gentle affections and grooming, leaving licks around her ears and neck while he savored her presence.

His ears perked forward when she began to speak, listening as she spoke of the man who had taken one of their children and disappeared. She made it very clear that she didn't want to meet his gaze while she was speaking when she buried her face into his fur so he wouldn't force her, instead just holding her a little tighter. He wanted to say he was shocked by her statement and say he couldn't understand why she would ever get to a point where her daughter would have to suffer because of her own sorrow and how she would want to give up her own life to escape it... but he did. If he hadn't had wolves around him that were looking out for him and making sure he didn't spiral even further into his depression when Azariah disappeared with Everlyse disappeared he could see how he would have ended up in the same position. For at least a brief period he had convinced himself that Ezra, Emile, Jane, and Fihona would be fine here in The Hallows without him while he searched for their mother and sister. He was certain that they would be cared for among the pack and he was still certain that the pack as a whole - or at the very, very least Resin and Tamsyn - would have made sure they were fed and safe.

But that's not really what they needed and he didn't realize that until he saw Emile's saddened expression at the last pack feast. They needed him there, they needed his attention - some more or less than others. He didn't know what sort of situation Aranea had been in with her daughter at the time, but if she hadn't had the kind of accountability and support that he did he could easily see how she could end up in that position. He was sad for her and the situation she had been put in, but he didn't blame her and he wished she wouldn't blame herself as much either. He began tenderly grooming around her ears again when she finished, just holding her quietly for a few moments while he processed things and tried to think of something he could that might alleviate even a little bit of this pressure she felt. "I understand," he finally replied in a quiet rumble, letting one of his paws gently rub up and down her back while he spoke. There was more he wanted to say, but none of it felt quite right. It all felt like apologies for things he didn't do or wishes for things he couldn't fix. All he could do was give her what she wanted - just to be with him. So that's what he did, continuing to hold her against his broad chest and block the rest of the world away from her.

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Ulric's affection was more than what she could have wanted. She couldn't even describe the feeling. She almost wanted to believe that she loved Ulric, and maybe she did. But her concept of how to love someone was clouded judgement by what she wanted more. And she would be scared to even say such a thing. Whether it was because she would scare Ulric away or she would hurt him while she was faced with Allegro. She had come to terms with how she was going to hurt someone either way, but that didn't make it any easier to do so. It was obvious that Ulric didn't have much to say, or didn't want to say much at least. It was a difficult situation that really Aranea could really know or understand because it was what happened to her. And she wouldn't be angry that Ulric couldn't do more. He could only do so much, and right now just being here in his arms was enough. Her eyes did come up to search his own, she wasn't crying anymore but the tear marks if even noticed through the dark room were still there. "I was young, Ulric. I was barely two years old. I didn't know what I was doing." She continued without expecting him to even say anything back to her. Maybe she just felt like he needed to know her, or at least what ailed her in a lot of things. She was a lot stronger now than she had ever been, but it was easy for her to slip down the spiral of depression, and there was no way she could really hide her strong, sad feelings from Ulric at times. "I thought he was the one. I would have done anything for him." And it was true. She left Abaven for him, she was ready to abort their pups for him, and she birthed their pups for him. "I don't know why he left me and I don't think I ever will." That was a feeling they could share, while Azariah was either dead or had abandoned Ulric. And the question would always be there if she never returned. And thinking about how Azariah was affecting their children made Aranea think about how she was affecting her own. As much as she tried to bury the thought. She would go to pull herself into Ulric more, even though it didn't even seem possible. But it was almost like there was no amount of love or affection that could fill the void left in her permanently. "He broke me." Walk "Talk" Think

Ulric brought his gaze to Aranea's when she eventually looked up at him, catching the faint darkness on her cheeks from her tears in the faint glow of the moonlight coming in through the window above them. It felt like every time she revealed something more about this part of her past, it only broke his heart more and more. It made him loathe this man that he would never meet for breaking Aranea the way he had - treating her so poorly and tossing her away. He could sympathize with the feeling of thinking that they had found the one wolf that they could entrust their life to only to be failed by them and not knowing why. The mystery of it always bothered him the most and he wondered if Aranea felt the same. It almost made him wish that he could find this Tyranis to make him suffer for what he had done to Aranea and demand those answers for her, but he knew that would probably never happen.

As Aranea drew even closer to him, leaving no gap between them, he listened as she declared what was now obvious to him - that Tyranis had broken her. It made him wonder what she had been like before that time. What had she been like before this man shattered her into this state. It made him wonder if he would ever be able to go back to how he used to be before Azariah's disappearance - but that wasn't a thought he let himself dwell on. It wasn't often that she let him focus entirely on her and let him learn more about what made her who she was so he didn't want to waste that time ponder his own existence. He squeezed her in his embrace and dipped his muzzle down to her cheeks, cleaning away the tear stains from her cheeks with licks that seemed far more gentle than should be possible from a brute his size.

"I wish I could put you back together," he rumbled softly as he nuzzled against her cheek. It was too much to think that he could actually help her heal from a trauma that was so deep seated for so many years, but he wished he could do such a thing. She deserved to know what it was like to genuinely be loved and cared for - not just used and abandoned. Whether that was with him, with the father of the children she had in Abaven, or with someone else entirely. As much as he felt himself drawn to her and felt some form of love for the silver and ivory woman, he just wanted happiness for her... no matter where that happiness came from.

Ulric continued to give her what little comfort he could offer as he left trails of nibbles and licks along her neck, cheeks, and ears, letting her now familiar scent fill his nose and surround him. He hoped that even if it was just temporary that he might be able to make her feel that affection she deserved to live in and experience that love that she should have had from the very beginning. "Whatever I can do for you... Just tell me. If it's physical affection, if it's companionship, if its space... I'll give you what you need for as long as you need it."

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Ulric’s gentle licks put only a tiny smile on her maw as he comforted her. She always felt like Ulric said or did what he would have wanted others to do for him. Not that he was expecting anyone to. Aranea knew little of what other hurt Ulric had within, only the relatable loss of his mate. And that was okay if that’s how he wanted it to be. Aranea just felt the need now for Ulric to know why she was the way she was. And Ulric appeared to be stronger than she ever could, regardless of how life treated him or what was similar about their histories. Aranea moved in to Ulric’s affection, eventually giving some of her own in kisses around his neck and shoulder blades. She continued to feel farther away from Allegro with every night she spent with Ulric, and that was neither of the men’s fault. Allegro had picked Aranea back up from where she was, but it still wasn’t enough and it probably never would be. She found the comfort and the filling while she was here with Ulric, but for how long? He didn’t know what was coming to him and when that did happen it would do nothing but heartbreak for Aranea. She couldn’t choose both but she was feeling like she knew who she would pick. "I want you to be here forever." She whispered though still with a heartening longing wishing that it was simple. Maybe that neither of them had other lovers or children and that it could have just been them. "I don’t know how possible that is with Azariah..." She stopped with her nibbles and kisses, as if Ulric wouldn’t have wanted them at the mention. But her face was still buried in his chest, like by doing so she could feel what hurt he would feel within. Walk "Talk" Think

Aranea's wish that he could be here forever tugged at his heart and before he could even speak his own doubts she spoke them for him as she mentioned Azariah. He felt her stop the nibbles and kisses she had begun to give him in return and he instinctively held her tightly as if he was afraid she would slip away again. He sighed and pressed his face into her neck, his ears folding back against his head because he knew she was right. Azariah had been his first love, his fiancé, the mother of his children, the woman that he had first promised his world to. The unknown of if she could ever return or not made him feel like he was in limbo and stuck trying to determine how long was long enough for him to wait before he was allowed to love again. He wasn't young any more. At six years old, he knew that his "prime" would soon be behind him and after wasting so many years of his life he didn't want to take any more of them for granted. But he still had to face the fact that if Azariah ever returned, if it turned out something had happened to her and she had disappeared at no fault of her own, was he prepared to break one of their hearts?

He was quiet for a while, just holding Aranea while his mind tried to work through this problem that had no solution. It pulled him into his past and brought him to a place he hadn't expected to go. "When I was still a pup... My father was challenged to the death and lost," he told her, speaking quietly as he revealed more of his past to her. She had done the same for him, giving him some perspective on why she was the way that she was. It was only fair that he do the same for her. "We lost the pack he led after that so my mother, sister, and I were loners. I grew up really quickly after that... I took care of them." His paw started tracing her back again, trailing his claws through her fur while he was lost in thought. "That's how I spent a little over four... almost five years of my life. I gave them everything. It took getting into fight with my sister over how she was caring for her children and her giving me that first scar I had on my cheek for me to finally make some time for myself... That's when I met Azariah."

He didn't know where he was going with his story or why he felt the need to share his life with her, but it was also kind of nice to share with someone else these things that he had never really spoken about. He hadn't shared his story with many, instead feeling like he needed to be strong and put on a facade for those around him. "I never made time to look for love before I met her and I was just so in love with the idea of being in love that I just..." He gave a small shrug and just let the sentence trail off, unsure of what else he wanted to say. He had genuinely loved Azariah, but he sometimes wondered if his life had gone differently and he had been given the freedom to live his life normally and not have to cater to and protect his mother for the majority of his life... would he have fallen for her so quickly? Or would he have taken the time to get to know her more, learn her history, know all the things that he still to this day didn't know? It was a question he'd never know the answer to, but it was one that constantly bothered him.

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Aranea pulled her face back away to listen to Ulric intently. She didn’t expect him to share things beyond Azariah that she didn’t know about. But she wouldn’t put them off either. She wanted to be there for him as much as he had for her, in fact she wanted to more. His tone was gentle as he explained, and Aranea’s own ears flicked as she couldn’t really imagine the other traumas he had gone through. Her chest into him, she placed a paw over his own heart as if she could feel him or stop the pain. He still spoke with little emotion or at least not the kind of emotion that Aranea had. It didn’t make her want to love him any less. His emotions and story was his own, and she welcomed it as he wanted to share with her. "Oh, Ulric." Her voice was apologetic, but it didn’t really seem right to actually say so. She hadn’t known him until recently, so there was nothing she could have done to help turn what was around. She waited a moment before going to speak again, "You were just following your heart, and that’s okay even if it didn’t turn out the way you planned." She went to peer under his muzzle to make sure she was back into his view before going in to his maw for a deep kiss. She didn’t want to listen to Resin, or anyone else. Even Allegro had been pushed back in her mind to the thought. All she wanted was to spend these nights with Ulric, sensual or not. She wanted to fill the void like he could for her, and it only felt natural for them to do so with what they had lost. And Aranea felt too that what they were doing felt right for each other, and maybe she shouldn’t worry about what others thought about it. She pushed her body into his, her paws rubbing along his thick shoulders and chest while she kissed him, but she wanted more. Only this time it would be okay if Ulric didn’t. -Fade if allowed- Walk "Talk" Think

Ulric had forced himself to not feel anything about the situations his life had put him in for so long that as he told his story it felt flat and nearly emotionless. It was almost as if he was just talking about the weather or an uneventful day instead of events that had turned his life upside-down. From a very young age he had been forced to either see his family flounder and drown or figure out how to swim so he could save them all. He knew his mother had never asked that of him, but it was a responsibility that he had put on himself - one that he had ultimately failed. His sister had lost herself and disappeared from their lives, his mother had passed away far earlier than he was prepared for, his niece was lost to the wind, his own mate and daughter gone as well... That was why he clung so tightly to his remaining children and held them so close.

It was also what probably led him to feeling so strongly about keeping Aranea in his life. Any time he found anything that felt good or right it seemed like such a rarity that he wanted to do everything he could to keep it from leaving, even beyond the fact that he just had a tendency to be drawn to others that were broken like himself. His silver gaze returned to hers when she spoke his name, his expression softening and ears flicking back against his head as he looked into her bright blue gaze. Seeing her pressed against him, feeling her form molded to his, it brought him back to the present and with it a wave of emotion that he had trained himself to ignore. Her words summed everything up perfectly in a way that he hadn't been able to. He was following his heart, even if things hadn't turned out the way he had planned. Without really knowing it that's all he had been doing for his entire life. Rarely did things go the way he wanted them to, but that had never seemed to stop him. He always dove in head first without really thinking about the consequences.

As soon as her muzzle met his in a kiss, he melted into her without hesitation. His claws lightly pressed into her skin as he clung to her and pulled her as tightly as possible against him. Any thoughts or doubts or fears or concerns were quickly drowned out as all of his senses were filled by her and he felt himself losing any trace of conscious thought. Her paws moving across his chest and shoulders sent little sparks of electricity across his skin and anywhere that their fur mingled together felt as if he couldn't possibly get close enough to satisfy his desires. There was no conscious decision to indulge in every part of her - he let his heart and desires direct his actions and every fiber of his being craved her.

Ulric rolled with Aranea, pressing her back into the bed as he held himself over her, losing himself as one kiss led to another and another. Eventually his kisses left her lips and started trailing down her throat, leaving light nips and licks on her skin. At least for this night he was entirely entranced just by her presence alone and nothing could sway him from that. There was a beautiful emptiness to his thoughts when he was with her like this and it seemed to be the only time that all of the thoughts that constantly bombarded him were silenced and replaced with a singular, hungry desire. As he brought himself back over her and he let blue and silver eyes meet once again, he fully gave into her and let himself have everything that he was craving.

-Fade-

When they were both satisfied, he laid with her tucked into his embrace again, feeling more content than he had in very long time. He wasn't sure what would happen come morning, but he didn't care. He wanted to be less worried about the future and just focus on what soothed his soul in the here and now. As he lingered on the edge of sleep, he nuzzled her again and gave her a soft, gentle kiss. "Please don't leave," he requested softly, giving her a squeeze against him. He knew she typically left to go back to her room before morning or in the very early hours of daylight, but he didn't want to wake up to an empty bed. Not this time.

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Ulric made her feel like she was in her prime. Maybe the feel of affair or cheating, but it was really just the way he made love to her. It wasn't something she could explain, though while she was in the act the thought of potentially cheating on Allegro was far from her mind. She liked how submissive she felt in Ulric's arms, their size differences played a big toll on what her body felt. But more than anything it was some kind of passion that Ulric felt in the moments. It made her feel young and beautiful and fragile. And wanted. As she always did, she pressed her chest into Ulric's as if to keep their hearts together. Her head laid along his chest and shoulder, she groomed him gently before coming to a complete rest. She raised her head slightly as he nestled into her, giving him the kiss in return. He asked her not to leave, even if it was just for the night. She didn't want to leave, and she wished she was in better mental health to be confident enough to do so. Ulric pulled her in close, still giving her a satisfaction that seemed unfillable. She nestled her nose back into the fur of his neck again, wiggling a little to try and get closer, it never felt like enough. "I'm right here." She would give him what he wished tonight, maybe even after. Ulric had been nothing but good to her, he gave her just about everything she wanted. She didn't want to deprive him of anything else that he could ask for. Walk "Talk" Think