When she'd finally learned of Resin's condition her heart weighed down with heaviness. Having been reared in a war zone she'd been trained in conditions of the body more so than the mind. Battle wounds were her specialty, but that didn't mean she was going to give up… not yet. She had ruled out the possibility of viral encephalitis and ergot poisoning. There were no signs of bacterial or fungal infection. That left two options coming to her mind, brain cancer or a neurodegenerative disease. Both were death sentences and beyond her ability to heal.

She reached out to the tincture of valerian root, tapping it lightly with her claws to test the color and potency. As far as she knew Resin was still behaving unpredictably, violently. Valerian in high concentrations was powerful. She had used it to drug patients into a stupor for surgery. It could sedate the woman enough that maybe she could have some sort of conversation to assess the level of damage. In low continuous doses it might even help to prevent another violent spell from arising. Lúta sighed. However, even if it worked Resin would be listless and slow. An effort to treat symptoms and maybe buy some time for meaningful goodbyes before the inevitable.

Lúta moved the tincture aside to cool. Yet, so much depended on how much damage had already been done. The sudden severity of the onset was of particular concern. She sat oblivious outside her den, deep in thought as she stared into the swirling tincture.

The days following the incident had been nothing short of hell. Artorias was exhausted, physically, mentally, and emotionally, and the poor pup was just totally drained. He hadn't been sleeping well at night, far too worried about everything happening with his family and his pack. He'd interviewed everyone he could that had even a lick of healing skill in a desperate gambit to save his mother's life. No progress had seemed to be made to help reverse her condition, and the adults were still keeping the dungeon strictly off limits, so he didn't even know how his mother was doing. Despite the ticking clock, Art had refused to accept the finality so many treated the situation with. Everything had a solution. Every sickness had a cure. There just had to be some solution to fix what had been broken—wasn't there...? Nothing was unsolvable... right...?

All the uncertainty made his head spin and swim with the darkest thoughts, so much so that even his fiery amber eyes seemed to glow dim as if they were dying embers of a fading fire. His fur was mussed in place from tossing and turning at night and a lack of grooming, and his movements were slowed with fatigue and depression. The boy trudged his way down the halls, pacing as he had been while trying to think of how else he could help Resin. While passing by an open door, he caught a glance of the occupant inside going about her business, the earthy scent of herbal concoctions thick in the air. A spark returned to Artorias' eyes when he recognized the pelt of Lúta hard at work. Lúta! She was the most skilled healer in the pack! Surely if anyone would know how to save his mother, it would be her!

"Excuse me, Miss Lúta?" Artorias called out to the master healer from the doorway, giving a little rap of his paws against the wood to knock and announce his presence. "Do you have a moment? I wanted to ask you about my mom."


"Artorias" | Thoughts | "Corbin"

One big happy family

Artorias has two ravens named Corbin and Eira and a fox named Argent. Assume they are within calling distance at all times.
As his mate, Briar may enter Artorias' threads unless marked Private.
____________________

Her mind continued to circle, her thoughts looping around the edges of a whirlpool, spinning deeper and deeper. She hadn't considered a prion disease… spirits that was even more depressing. It didn't fit either. No, it really seemed like a neurodegenerative issue, some form of dementia. There were possibilities that would slow down the development of plaques, but nothing that could remove any that were there. Her brow furrowed. Dammit… why hadn't anyone figured out a cure for this yet? There had to be something she was missing.

Lúta was so lost in her thoughts that she jumped, startled as Artorias appeared. She winced, quickly shifting the weight off her injured leg. Bloody dire wolves. With Resin out of commission and the desperation of rival predators and new predators alike border skirmishes were becoming more frequent. She turned to the boy and offered a soft smile. She felt terrible for Tamsyn and the pups. She desperately wished to help. "Yes, Artorias. Come on inside. I'm actually working on something to help your mother sleep and feel a bit better." Valerian was one of the most potent herbs she had for anxiety and it had been used frequently to deal with PTSD in her old pack. Its assistance with sleep would also be crucial for Resin's condition. The melatonin that circulated in the brain during sleep could also help slow the development of plaques. Maybe adding some plants that contained melatonin to her tincture would help.

She gazed at the boy, noting that he seemed run down and exhausted. "How are you holding up?"

At her kind beckoning, Artorias stepped into the room, his nose wrinkling up on reflex as his olfactory sense was hit with the smell of the medicines she was preparing. They didn't smell that bad, but they were definitely earthy smelling. Funny how the boy could stand the stench of blood but plants seemed to turn him off. He strode slowly over to where Lúta was working, peering around her shoulder to watch what she was doing even while she explained what her concoction was intended for. As he neared his first birthday, Art had mostly grown into his full height, matching the healer, though it was clear he still had a little bit to go. Something to help her sleep; maybe he should inquire into getting some of that for himself. Sleep had been a luxury he couldn't get his paws on since his mother's turning.

She asked him how he was holding up and the boy was very careful to not answer her question directly. It didn't matter what he said, the weariness painted on his visage and storms in his usually bright eyes would speak volumes that his words could not. He pursed his lips, but otherwise said nothing. What was he supposed to say anyway? Bad? Terribly? "Have you seen my mother lately?" he asked. His own family had been barred from seeing Resin since her imprisonment, though he was already deciding to disobey that stupid order and go talk to her sometime soon. What were they going to do to stop him? Lock him up? The thought was laughable at best; they saw how much good that was doing for Resin.

"She's actually the reason I came to find you," he continued after a moment, careful not to meet Lúta's eyes while he spoke. He didn't want anyone to see the pain and the broken spirit in them. Like Rudy had said, they were expected to be strong. "I've been trying to find the cure for her illness, but... it's proving harder than I thought... I'm not a healer, and I didn't know someone's brain could get broken like this. I was hoping maybe someone as experienced as you might..." His words drifted off. She might what? Have some miracle cure tucked away that they hadn't tried yet? His desperation was running thin, as were his hopes. "Is... Is there any way to fix my mom...? Will she ever be..." He swallowed hard, mentally bracing himself for the question. "Will she ever get better...?"


"Artorias" | Thoughts | "Corbin"

One big happy family

Artorias has two ravens named Corbin and Eira and a fox named Argent. Assume they are within calling distance at all times.
As his mate, Briar may enter Artorias' threads unless marked Private.
____________________

Lúta nodded at the boys question. "Yes, just last night. I plan to visit her again tonight with this tincture." She was half tempted to invite the boy to go with her. It was bad enough Resin had to be trapped in that horrid, claustrophobic dungeon but to not be able to see her family? True, it was as Resin wished it, but Lúta was a stubborn if foolish woman and she had half a mind to worm her way into that cell and smack the older woman upside the head. Resin may have felt ashamed for what happened, but as far as Lúta had seen it hadn't made her family and friends love her any less. Maybe she could speak to Ulric about an alternative. She made no secret of her dislike of the dungeon situation and in her scouting she had spied a small island just off the western coast of the castle. Maybe with some adjustments they could make it a suitable home. Isolated but more hospitable. Perhaps she was projecting. She was born in a land of vast plains and open skies. She couldn't imagine dying in a stone tomb in the ground when she could pass on an island with the sun and wind.

Lúta watched Artorias silently as he continued to speak, feeling her heart sink further as he explained that he was trying to find a cure for her illness. Surely someone had already informed him of what a long shot it was going to be. At most they could buy a little time. Though, in some ways she did feel what he was feeling. It was too hard to give up just yet, not when there were still a few things to try no matter how unlikely they would be. How much hope was too much hope? She'd climbed such paths before only to plummet into darkness when it failed. She hated to take a child with her.

Lúta took a deep breath and sighed heavily. "I'm doing everything I can, but honestly, Artorias, I doubt she'll get better. The most we can do at this point is try to slow this disease down. Give your family more time. That said I'm not ready to give up just yet. There are a few more treatments I'd like to try, but please understand, its a hell of a long shot and would not undo any damage that's already be done."

She'd spoken with an elderly medicine man that had moved down from the north and of course asked about Resin's symptoms. She'd learned a few pieces of interesting information. Extract of calabar bean in conjunction with tumeric had been moderately effective in slowing the disease down. The problem was that calabar beans were extremely poisonous. Getting a dosage right without killing Resin outright would be tricky. Extract of snowdrop was said to help with cognitive function and easing memory loss. The healer had praised Gingko Biolba as the miracle plant of his people and encouraged her to try it. She was hopefully, but also fearful. If it failed… she would officially be out of options. At least she could look into treating the symptoms as best she was able. The medicine man had suggested cannabis for neurological issues related to aggression. If she could just find a way to get Resin out of that accursed cage so she could be with her family while she still remembered them most of the time.

Lúta confirmed that she had been down to see Resin and it just twisted the boy's guts up with envy. Why was everyone else allowed to go see his mother except for them? Art made up his mind on the spot that he would get down there again somehow. No one was going to keep him away from his mother, even if he hadn't found an answer for her yet. Nobody deserved to be left all alone, abandoned and forgotten—least of all Resin. This castle, this pack, this family... this was all her creation. She deserved to be surrounded by the safety and warmth and love she had created for them, not left in the dark and the cold and the silence. It was decided. Cure or not, he would go see her again.

When Lúta began her explanation with a heavy sigh, Artorias knew he wasn't going to like what she had to say. He maintained his stony expression as best he could while she laid out the impossibility of the situation for him, explaining that everyone was doing everything they could, but that Resin most likely would never get better. It was difficult to keep the pain out of his eyes and prevent his face from grimacing with the way his heart was wrenching in his chest. How was his mother always so capable of remaining stolid in situations like this? He was still so angry; angry at the situation his family had been thrust into for no reason, angry that there seemed to be no solution, and angry that he was going to lose his mom and he couldn't do a damned thing but watch while it happened. Time had tempered down some of the fire that raged in his heart though, and the boy no longer felt the need to yell or scream or lash out when he was confronted with reality. It didn't make it better, but he was beginning to take it in stride.

Artorias turned away from Lúta before she could see the tears welling up in his eyes, sniffling them back while he tried to distract his mournful mind with anything else. "But we have to save her... She'd save all of us in a heartbeat..." Why couldn't they save her? Why would the gods ever create something so terrible without a way to stop it? He was grateful to hear that Lúta was as stubborn as he was and refused to give up without exhausting every attempt first, but it was becoming so damn hard to keep that hope alive. There was still one lingering question that remained in Artorias' mind—a question he hadn't found the answer to since he began to put the pieces together weeks ago. "What's happening to her...?" he asked in a low, sorrow-rough voice. He needed to understand what was happening to his mother, why it had happened to her, and what would come next. "What's it going to do to her...? What will she become...?" Before she dies. The words didn't leave his lips, but the implication was there. This could only end one of two ways: with Resin's full recovery, or her demise. From the way everyone had described it, it seemed as if the latter was becoming unavoidable. His mother would die and they would lose the thread keeping them all held together.


"Artorias" | Thoughts | "Corbin"

One big happy family

Artorias has two ravens named Corbin and Eira and a fox named Argent. Assume they are within calling distance at all times.
As his mate, Briar may enter Artorias' threads unless marked Private.
____________________

Lúta swallowed sharply as she watched the tears well up in the boys eyes and she wished more than anything she had a better idea what to do. "I'm so sorry." She felt like a failure. Even though she still had a few things to try she didn't have faith that they'd actually work. It would really take a miracle. She debated how much to tell the boy about what was happening, but it just wasn't in her nature to mince words. "Resin's brain is losing its ability to function. The connections are failing. Sometimes protein accumulates in the brain and that messes it up. But we can't just go in and clean it out." At least not in anyway she knew.

"My training is in battle wounds, wounds of flesh and bone. The brain…" she shook her head. "Do you know if anyone has spoken to Iolaire? If there's a healer on this planet that might know what to do it would be her." Lúta chewed her lip. Though, she imagined Sirius would tell the woman. If she recalled correctly the two were related in some way. Perhaps she ought to have paid more attention to the Armada cat. The chance of traveling again any time soon was basically out of the question now. With Shilah gone, Resin out of commission and strange wolves running rampant she didn't dare drop any of her patrols.

Lúta didn't really want to say more but she didn't know if Resin's children had been briefed yet on their mother's condition and she really felt they ought to know. "As the disease progresses her memory will start to fail more and more and… and her personality might start to change. It's… it's hard to say exactly. Everyone is different. Eventually though… she'll pass away. Maybe months from now, maybe years." Lúta's voice grew softer, she hated hearing the words even as she spoke them, part of her still unwilling to accept the diseases finality. She poured her elixir into a water skin and corked it before setting it aside, grateful for the small movement and brief distraction.

"I'll keep trying, but I think we need to be prepared.  I'll speak with Ulric about setting up better accommodations for Resin." She couldn't stay there in that dark awful place. It was possible the disease could progress for a year or more and the dungeon was no place to spend one's sunset years regardless of their mental state. "Is… is there anything you'd like me to say to her? I'll see what I can do about encouraging her to let everyone visit." Resin was stubborn though, if she didn't want anyone seeing her then she didn't want anyone seeing her and that was that. Though Lúta was also stubborn and more than ready to use any trick in the book.

Lúta's sympathies didn't go unheard by the young wolf, but he did not respond. He didn't know how to. So many apologies, so many sympathies, what was he even supposed to say to them all? He remained quiet while the master healer obliged his requests for information on his mother's condition, explaining to him in terms—some simple and some not—about how Resin's brain was losing its ability to function properly. She asked about Iolaire after expressing her own frustrations at her limitations on medical knowledge of mental and cognitive issues. Artorias' frown deepened. Iolaire hadn't been seen around the Hallows since they had moved to Auster, and he wouldn't have the faintest inkling where to even begin sending Corbin to look with a message about their mother. "I don't know, and the only wolf who might know is locked up and refusing visitors," he replied, his voice hard with the frustration of the impossible situation. Even if Resin knew where Iolaire was, there was no way she'd give up that information, not when she was staunchly refusing any help or company. Dammit all, why did his mother have to be so stubborn?!

Artorias received the answer he had been ultimately afraid of when Lúta finished describing the outcome of Resin's diagnosis. No matter how the road went, the destination was always the same. Resin would die. It was the hard, unavoidable truth that he was being forced to face. No matter how much he wanted it to be different, there seemed to be no other way this situation would turn out. Artorias' heart broke, the pieces plummeting into his stomach, and at long last the stray tears fell down his nose. He managed an appreciative not to Lúta when she said she would keep trying; it was all he could ask of her anymore. Even if it was in vain, Artorias was at least content to see that not everyone had accepted Resin as dead yet.

"Thank you, Lúta..." Artorias managed to get out, though his voice felt choked by his own emotions and the weight of his family's situation crushing down around him. The boy dipped his head respectfully to her and then got up and headed for the door. There was nothing more he needed to hear, and she needed to do her work to help his mother. The last thing she needed was him getting in her way. Artorias was halfway to the door when Lúta asked if there was anything he wanted her to relay to his mother and he froze, paw still hovering mid-stride. What would he even want to say to Resin after all this? She had turned him way, hadn't wanted to see him, given up. The last time he had seen her, he'd yelled at her, treated her like some sort of violent monster, then swore he would find a way to fix her. Now it seemed like he was doomed to fail that task no matter how hard he tried.

It took him a moment to gather his thoughts, but Artorias did turn to look back at Lúta, an unreadable expression of regret and pain doing its best to stay repressed behind his eyes. "Could you tell her... that I'm sorry for how I treated her... That she's my mother and I'll love her, always, no matter what..." Artorias swallowed hard, gathering up the courage he needed for what he really wanted to say. He couldn't meet Lúta's eyes when he spoke, afraid that if he did, he'd break down again. Strong—he needed to be strong. "Could you also tell her that even if I can't save her, I want her to know that I never gave up... just like she taught me... I'm never going to give up..." His piece said, Artorias gave a solemn nod of his head, then turned and walked out the door, holding his breath until he was down the hall so Lúta wouldn't see him when the sobs finally wracked his body with uncontrollable tremors and labored breathing. If their time with Resin was as limited as she said, he knew he had to see her one last time. He would not carry that regret for the rest of his life.

— Exit unless stopped  —


"Artorias" | Thoughts | "Corbin"

One big happy family

Artorias has two ravens named Corbin and Eira and a fox named Argent. Assume they are within calling distance at all times.
As his mate, Briar may enter Artorias' threads unless marked Private.
____________________