ardent

Stages of grief

Eska



Ulric

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05-10-2021, 03:53 PM
It felt strange to just go on about their daily lives. After months of waiting and limbo it was over and it just felt... strange. Going on about his usual patrols, making his daily rounds, it didn't feel right. He kept passing the door that would lead him down to the dungeons, feeling like he should go down to check on her, add more wood to the fire, make sure that everything was okay. It was too quiet and he didn't like it. It kept him out of the castle because if he stayed out here he could pretend that the wild, periodic raving of his friend and mentor wasn't gone. At the same time, even with the painful feeling of loss, there was a relief. At least she wasn't suffering any longer. At least she hadn't had to die locked in a cage.

After the chaos following the dire wolf attack had died down there was only one thought on his mind. Eska. Even with how terribly her last visit had ended, he felt like he had to let her know how things had progressed and how they had ended. She had told him that she would be near by and he hoped that held true. He wandered out to the edge of the territory, following the direction he had last seen her run toward. He had no way of knowing exactly where she had ended up after she left him, but this felt like his best guess. Standing at the edge of the plains, he lifted his head and let out a howl for her. For the silver brindled woman with the intelligent golden eyes.

Ulric Adravendi







Eska

Loner

age
5 Years
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Female
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Res2

The Ooze ParticipantThe Ooze - Variation 3
05-10-2021, 08:30 PM

"Eska"


She still hadn't made a decision as to whether or not she would stay or go. If her mother was gone, then there was nothing holding her here except a few young wolves that she held no blood ties to. What else was there for her to do though? Her aunt had likely passed away by now. Her mother was soon to go. She knew that her father was dead. Eska was free of all earthly ties. It wasn't a good feeling.

The brindled fae had been trailing up and down the river, hunting, keeping herself occupied. She considered going back to The Hallows to see her mother again, but couldn't manage to do it. She didn't know that woman. It was... difficult. On one paw she should have been there for her, on the other, she had known the woman for the smallest fraction of her life. She'd tracked Resin down so that she could get to know her. Since she couldn't get to know her, there wasn't that connection there. Eska didn't feel beholden to the creature in the dungeon.

Coming back from a hunt, a thick rabbit between her jaws, Eska heard Ulric call for her. Dark ears swiveled forward and she threw herself into a lope. Hopefully he wouldn't mind waiting a bit. She had quite a distance to go. By the time she arrived at the edge of the plains, the day was growing short. She'd abandoned the rabbit halfway through her journey. It was hard to breath with a furry creature in your mouth.

Eska slowed enough so that she would catch her breath by the time she came to stand before Ulric. Both ears flicked forward and her brows drew together. Something was wrong. She could tell by the expression on his face. "Ulric?" She questioned him, but in her gut, she already knew.





Ulric

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05-11-2021, 08:41 AM
Ulric let the call echo and fade before he lowered his head with a soft sigh. It wasn’t news he wanted to deliver, but it was inevitable. He settled onto his haunches, his mind drifting across the last day or so as he tried to formulate how he was going to explain it all to Eska. He was going to be two for two for having to deliver bad news to her and he would have done anything for that to not be the case. If he could change the past, change the outcomes, he would have changed Resin’s fate and made it so that Eska could have had the reunion she had searched so long for. He couldn’t, but it was a nice dream all the same.

He was patient as he waited for her to appear, letting time tick by until he saw a dark form appear in the distance and he felt a bit of relief. At least she had been near enough to hear him, though he knew he shouldn’t have been concerned. She had told him that she would be and he had no reason to think that she wasn’t a woman of her word. He waited for her to draw closer and when she came to a stop in front of him he could see in how she greeted him that it was written across his face. His sorrow, his reluctance to share the news, the pain it brought him. He had always been a man who wore his heart on his sleeve.

“Eska,” he rumbled in return with a soft sigh. There was no easy way to break the news so he just came out and said it. “Resin... She’s gone.” His voice was quiet, delivering the harsh reality as gently as he could. “If it’s any consolation, she went out fighting for her pack. There was an attack on the pack night before last and she apparently had a small moment of lucidity and asked her mate and adopted son to let her out so she could help. She fought valiantly despite her condition.” He left the details vague, but he knew that fact had felt better to him than thinking of Resin continuing to waste away in a cell.

Ulric Adravendi







Eska

Loner

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5 Years
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Female
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The Ooze ParticipantThe Ooze - Variation 3
05-11-2021, 05:43 PM

"Eska"


He didn't need to say it. She knew. Please, don't say it. And then he went against her mental wishes and uttered the words that she hadn't wanted to hear. She already knew, but hearing it spoken aloud made things so much worse. "Oh," was her soft response. A whisper, really. The woman's golden eyes were open wide and she refused to blink. If she blinked, the tears that had begun to build would flow over and she didn't want that. She didn't need to cry for a woman that she barely knew, right?

Ulric went on to say that Resin had died while fighting for her home, pack and family. That... soothed Eska somewhat. In her last moments, had her mother been herself? Had she known who she was and what she was fighting for? They would never know the answers to those questions. No one would ever speak to the woman ever again. Eska would never speak to her.

Raising one paw, the brindle pelted woman wiped away the bastard tears that had gone against her will and slid down her cheeks. "Thank you," she cleared her throat. "Thank you for letting me know." The woman turned away from the giant man, wiping a few more rogue tears from her cheeks. Well, she hadn't planned on crying. She hadn't planned on letting emotions take hold at all, but she was not her mother. Eska was less emotional than most, but when she felt, she felt deeply.

Seating herself in the freshly growing grasses of the plains, the masked woman released soft breaths and rivers of tears. Her shoulders shook as she released the grief within her. The fae kept her back to the man. He was suffering enough on his own. She didn't need to add her suffering to it.





Ulric

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The Ooze ParticipantThe Ooze - Variation 3Double MasterIce Bridge ExplorerMammoth HunterBeevent
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05-11-2021, 06:41 PM
His ears flicked as he watched her brush away the tears from her eyes, his heart aching for her. He didn't want to tell her these things. He wanted to bring her in, tell her that Resin suddenly began to make a miraculous recovery, give her the warm reunion she deserved. He didn't want to see her hurt. He watched her turn away after she had thanked him for telling her, not leaving, but just turning away so that she could cry without him seeing. The shake of her shoulders broke his heart and every part of him wanted to go to her and pull her close, hide her away from the pain. He knew that there was no fixing what had happened, there was no turning back the clock, but he wished he could at least offer her some kind of comfort.

Despite the fact that they hardly knew each other, he finally let himself stand and walk over to her side, settling beside her with his side gently brushing hers. "I'm sorry..." he rumbled quietly. There was a hesitation before he finally just threw caution to the wind and allowed himself to lift his foreleg and ever so gently draped it across her shoulders, far more gentle than his size and stature probably led others to believe he was capable of. He didn't pull her into him, but the invitation was open if she wanted it. Otherwise he was just a presence with her through this, his paw lightly stroking the shoulder opposite of the one against his side. He'd let her cry as long as she needed and he was here for whatever amount of comfort she wished, whether that was an all encompassing embrace or just sitting beside her while she experienced these emotions. Either way he'd look up at the horizon once she was settled into him, giving her the privacy she seemed to desire while the tears continued to flow.

After some time, whenever he began to feel the shake of her shoulders subside, he'd glance down at her with a small, kind smile. "Could I convince you to stay for a meal? There's some wines in the castle that might help us both sleep a little better tonight."

Ulric Adravendi







Eska

Loner

age
5 Years
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Female
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Large
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Medium
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Res2

The Ooze ParticipantThe Ooze - Variation 3
05-12-2021, 05:02 PM

"Eska"


Grief was a funny thing. Most wolves, when someone close to them died, they could look back and file through the memories that they had with that wolf. Eska had nothing. Her grief struck in the form of regret. She regretted not finding her mother sooner, not spending more time with the woman, not sucking it up and being in that dungeon until the woman died despite her condition. Internally, she berated herself, calling herself a coward for not being there every single day that she could manage.

The part of Eska's mind geared towards self preservation disagreed. She did what she needed to do for her own well being. Being in the depths of that stone fortress every day, a few paces away from a wolf that would just as soon rip her throat out as look at her... it wasn't healthy. Even the wolves of The Hallows weren't down there with her every day. Not the same wolves, anyway.

Eska almost flinched when Ulric settled his large form beside her. She released a breathy sound of pain as he draped one thick foreleg around her shoulders. He was too sweet. The sympathy that he showed and the actions that he took to show the brindle dame that she wasn't alone struck Eska to the core. She shifted, turning her body into his, accepting the comfort that he offered. Placing her cheek against his chest, she cried anew. It didn't last long, but somehow the physical connection between the man and woman had connected their grief as well. Touching him, she could feel his pain as well.

Eventually Eska was all cried out. Thankfully she wasn't an ugly crier and she hadn't sobbed and snotted all over the man. When she was finished, she didn't pull away, instead she stayed in his embrace, her silver tinged body resting against his larger frame. As he looked down at her, she looked up at him. His words were inviting. Stay for a meal. Take advantage of some wine. Stay overnight in the castle once more. Eska considered it for a moment. What else did she have to do, really?

"Just one night," she said aloud. That was her plan, anyway. Just one night and she would leave The Hallows in peace. Somehow... the thought wasn't as relieving as she thought it would be.





Ulric

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7 Years
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Male
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The Ooze ParticipantThe Ooze - Variation 3Double MasterIce Bridge ExplorerMammoth HunterBeevent
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05-12-2021, 08:18 PM
Ulric didn't hesitate to hold her tighter as she leaned her face into his chest, bringing his other foreleg up around her to hold her close and let her cry out every sorrow into his fur. His heart ached and he swallowed hard past a lump that was lodged in his throat. He was mourning his mentor and friend, he was heartbroken for Tamsyn and the loss she was going through, he was working through the impostor syndrome he felt trying to take Resin's place. It was all things he hadn't really let himself feel as he tried to guide the pack through the attack and the aftermath, but he felt it all now as if feeling Eska's grief helped him unlock his own. Tears gathered and spilled down his cheeks as he looked up at the sky above them, quietly letting Eska cry herself out for as long as she needed.

Looking down at her golden eyes that seemed to catch the light, Ulric was glad when she agreed to his offer of a meal and a place to stay, even if it was for one night. He didn't like the idea of her being out here alone, especially not after hearing news like this. He nodded quietly and resisted the urge to ask her to stay for more than a night as he gently released her, letting her find her paws before he stood as well to lead her back across the plains and into the castle. Last time she had been here they had only gone deep enough to get to the guest rooms in the wing closest to the main entrance, but this time he brought her further into the castle, bringing her to an open balcony that overlooked the courtyard that had a few large furs piled and scattered about, clearly somewhere that they tended to frequent and lounge when time allowed.

"Go ahead and get comfortable, I'll go grab some food for us," he told her with a soft smile before turning and going down one of the other corridors, taking a couple flights of stairs down to the cellar to gather a couple sizable pieces of pronghorn meat from a kill someone had brought in recently along with one of the green-hued bottles of wine. He couldn't say he typically partook in alcohol on a general basis, but it just felt right for tonight. They both had too much loss and pain to deal with and he for one could certainly use a good night's sleep. He quickly returned to where he had left Eska waiting, setting his finds down near her with a smile.

"Help yourself," he said with a nod to the meat before he settled down near her, wrapping his paws around the bottle and bringing the cork to his lips, catching it carefully between his teeth and pulling it free. He took a drink from the bottle, the acidic but smooth drink biting lightly at his throat. He hummed and passed it over to her, mentioning with a soft chuckle, "Not bad. I've had much worse." It would most certainly do the job if nothing else. "And there's plenty more bottles where that came from so have as much as you want." One of the nice things about moving into this castle was that they had gotten to throughly enjoy the spoils of the remnants left behind.

He was quiet for a while, just laying near her as she day continued to sink further into night, eating his fill of the meat and taking drinks of the wine until he felt the warmth and tingle of it all throughout his body. It was a comfortable silence and Ulric didn't mind just enjoying the company of someone else for once. It just felt like Eska was easy to be around and he certainly wasn't going to question it, not now when being alone felt so painful. After a while, after he had finished his food and cleaned off his paws and muzzle and all that was left between them was the bottle of wine that was over half way gone at this point, he spoke, asking, "How long have you been searching?" He spoke quietly, casting a curious silver gaze toward the woman.

Ulric Adravendi







Eska

Loner

age
5 Years
gender
Female
gems
49
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Large
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Medium
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185
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Res2

The Ooze ParticipantThe Ooze - Variation 3
05-16-2021, 04:42 PM

"Eska"


They were strangers and yet grief had formed a bond between them. Despite Ulric's grief, he comforted her and, in that moment, he was everything that she needed. Eska kept her teary eyes closed and sank into the comfort that he offered. Though he was the one that embraced her, she offered comfort in turn. He had known Resin longer than she had and so she knew that he was suffering as well. She turned into him, lifting one foreleg to embrace the man. She took, but she also gave.

In time, the tears had ceased and the kind man led her back to the castle. They walked side by side and Eska couldn't deny even then that something felt right about it. She didn't dwell on the sudden thought. They had just met. They were strangers. She mused though about how well she'd fit just under the crook of his arm. It was amusing, if anything.

Ulric led her out onto a balcony, the stone covered with piles of furs. He instructed her to get comfortable while he went and fetched food and drink for them. While he was away, Eska pulled the piles of furs together, creating a much larger resting place since the two of them would be having a meal together. Once the area was set up to her liking, Eska seated herself upon the pile, looking over the edge of the balcony, and waited.

When he returned, the brindled woman curled her neck around, looking at him over her shoulder, dark ears flicking forward. Ulric presented her with pronghorn meat and uncorked a bottle of wine while she took a few bites. After taking a drink himself, he passed the bottle to her and she lifted it to darkened lips, tilting her head back to take a deep draw. "Mmm..." she released a soft hum as she contemplated the flavor. It wasn't bad, but it wasn't something she'd be able to drink all of the time.

Together, they lay there, slowly eating their meal and passing the bottle back and forth. Eska obviously wasn't a drinker. Her body and mind quickly became fuzzy and warm. She could tell that her senses were altered but tried not to let it be obvious. In time, Ulric spoke, questioning her about the search for her mother. Night was taking hold of the land but the setting sun was so brilliant that she looked at it rather than the earthen man beside her. "Two years," she answered softly. "I didn't even know her, but I searched for two years." Taking up the bottle of wine, she took another long drink, then pushed it back towards Ulric. The wine was dulling the grief. That was what they had intended, right?





Ulric

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The Ooze ParticipantThe Ooze - Variation 3Double MasterIce Bridge ExplorerMammoth HunterBeevent
1KCritical Hit!
05-16-2021, 05:34 PM
His gaze lingered on her as she spoke, though her attention remained on the sunset in front of them. Two years. It was hard for him to imagine spending that long tracking down someone, even if it was his mother. He hadn't spent even a fraction of that looking for Azariah, though he did have to think about his children in the mix of all of this. He couldn't just abandon them in the pursuit of finding his lost lover. He wondered if it would have been a different story if they hadn't had the children to think about. "That's a long time to keep up that kind of search," he commented before he took the bottle back from her to take another long drink himself, setting it back between them again with a soft sigh.

He looked out toward the sunset as well and as he shifted to lay more comfortably he found himself shifting a bit closer to her in the process. It wasn't even a conscious decision, but it was also the first time he had been fully relaxed and comfortable around anyone in a very long time. Any trace of the exterior he usually tried to keep in place for appearances had disappeared the moment that she had pressed into him for comfort. Grief could do strange things to wolves, a fact he knew all too well. The wine made a pleasant warmth spread through his limbs, his face flushed and feeling just a tad looser then he usually would have been. He was a large man, it would take a lot more than half a bottle of wine to really tip him into drunkenness, but this was nice.

"What are your plans now?" he asked as he brought his silver gaze back down to her again just as the sky began to darken into shades of red and purple. His gaze was questioning, but hopeful. He wanted her to stay, to be a part of the pack her mother had created, but if she had other plans, other goals, then he wouldn't stop her. No matter how beautiful her golden gaze and silver brindled markings looked in the dying light of the day.

Ulric Adravendi







Eska

Loner

age
5 Years
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Female
gems
49
size
Large
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Medium
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Res2

The Ooze ParticipantThe Ooze - Variation 3
05-16-2021, 05:58 PM

"Eska"


With each drink, the pair of wolves became more and more relaxed. Eska was at risk of being quite drunk if she continued, so after one more sip, she gave her head a shake and pushed the remainder of the bottle back towards Ulric. She didn't want to get sloppy, but she was thoroughly relaxed. If she stood, she doubted that she'd make it far without stumbling. Her mind was fluffy and the bite of grief had lessened to a mere nibble. His words regarding the length of her search was met with a mere noise of agreement and nothing more.

Ulric seemed to be relaxing just as she was. Every shift that he made to make himself comfortable brought him closer and closer to her. She noticed this and said nothing against it. In fact, she found herself doing the same. Soon the pair were touching, just their forelegs, then their shoulders. It wasn't unwelcome at all. Very much the opposite, actually. Resting against him, Eska placed her muzzle upon her bent foreleg, sulfur orbs watching the last bits of russet and plum fade from the sky. Night took hold and darkness came. A sort of darkness at least. There didn't seem to be much more than a sliver of moon, but the stars were vibrant and glittering. To Eska, the lighting was just right.

When asked about her future plans, Eska arched a silvered brow and gave a noncommittal shrug. "I have no plans." Her words felt a little thick in her mouth. A bit too much to drink, she was certain. "I was going to leave in the morning. Get out of your fur so you... the pack," she corrected herself, "Can get on with sorting things out." That wasn't the most eloquent way of putting it, but words were difficult at the moment.

Thinking about leaving in the morning didn't sit well with the drunken woman. It saddened her to think that she might never see the kind brute beside her again. But... they had just met. She didn't even know anything about him and he knew just as much about her. Ah, but it saddened her anyway. With a soft sigh, Eska shifted her head, placing it upon Ulrics foreleg instead of her own. Perhaps he would offer her just a bit more comfort before they decided to call it a night.





Ulric

Loner

age
7 Years
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Male
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Dire wolf
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The Ooze ParticipantThe Ooze - Variation 3Double MasterIce Bridge ExplorerMammoth HunterBeevent
1KCritical Hit!
05-16-2021, 06:57 PM
Ulric quietly enjoyed the warmth from her side pressing into his as they inched closer and closer together, both of them seemingly drawn to each other - or at least each other's physical touch. He tried to not let his fuzzy mind jump to places where it shouldn't be, though it was difficult with this beautiful woman resting beside him. He took the bottle when she pushed it away for the last time, lifting it to his lips and drinking down the rest of the remaining alcohol, finishing off the bottle before putting off to the side. He was slowly starting to feel more of the effects of it, his head feeling a bit fuzzy and floaty, but he was till thinking clearly enough. He wasn't sure if that would still be true if he tried to get up though so he was more than content to remain laying her with Eska, even shifting to press against her a little more certainly.

His pale gaze lingered on the top of her head were it was resting on her foreleg as she told him how she didn't have any plans, only that she would leave in the morning to get out of his - their, she corrected - fur. His ears flicked at the thought of her leaving and he tried to justify it to himself as not wanting her to have to go out into the world alone again. There was more than enough room in The Hallows for another wolf right now and she was an intelligent, confident, capable woman that any pack would be lucky to have in their ranks. But that wasn't entirely it, was it? Her head shifted from her foreleg to his and a little smile tugged at his lips. No, right now with the looseness and the fuzziness of the alcohol it was easier to admit that he didn't entirely believe it was just the thought of losing a valuable member that made him want to keep her here.

He hesitated for a moment before he dipped his head down, bringing his muzzle boldly to her scruff - far more boldly than he might have otherwise. He brushed his nose affectionately though her fur before he really thought through what he was doing. Perhaps he was more drunk than he realized or maybe it was just allowing him to act without all of the second guessing and concerns that he typically held. "Could I convince you to stay?" he asked softly against her neck nuzzling gently into her fur unless she pulled away. "The pack could certainly use someone like you. Someone strong and dedicated. I'd... I'd like for you to stay." That was the truth of it. Yes, she would be a wonderful addition to their ranks, but he personally wanted her to stay. He wanted the connection and comfort they seemed to share with each other.

Ulric Adravendi







Eska

Loner

age
5 Years
gender
Female
gems
49
size
Large
build
Medium
posts
185
player
Res2

The Ooze ParticipantThe Ooze - Variation 3
05-16-2021, 07:48 PM

"Eska"



Ulric rested his head atop hers and it didn't even occur to Eska to deny him. The woman's golden orbs closed and little fireworks went off, electrifying her flesh where he touched her. Would it have felt the same if she wasn't drunk? If he wasn't drunk? Either way, she really, really liked it. Physical touch was something that Eska rather enjoyed, under the right circumstances. She wasn't your typical, cuddly, affectionate fae, but behind closed doors... Eska was a passionate creature.

The brindled fae's experience with males wasn't extreme. She'd had brief flings with two men in her time. It had opened her to the world of sex and affection, but she had never craved it like some did. Even those relationships took place when she was younger. These days... Eska wanted something more. A connection with a like mind. Someone that she could devote herself to and would devote themselves to her. Someone to be a true partner with. Yes, she had high standards. No, she would not settle.

As the giant man nosed gently through her smoke and silver coat, Eska couldn't stop a small sound of breathy pleasure from escaping her maw. Perhaps it was the alcohol, but every stroke felt perfect. Ulric's soft voice met her ears and she considered his words. Could she stay? She didn't have anywhere else to go. He expressed the need for strong, dedicated members. Then... he asked her to stay for himself. He wanted her to stay. The fae's obsidian ears tucked for a moment as she considered his words. He wanted her to stay.

This was all happening so fast. Though she was quite inebriated, Eska never lost her sense of self. She felt such a pull towards Ulric. It was as though the threads of fate were slowly plaiting, binding them together. It was too much, too fast. And yet... it wasn't unwelcome. Eska was always thoughtful; always open to the possibilities. She knew though that her judgement was clouded due to the drink. She needed to deal with herself first.

Gently, she extracted her head from beneath Ulric's. Pulling back just enough, she searched silver eyes with golden. Heat throbbed within her chest, as did other things. Raising one silver dipped paw, Eska cupped Ulric's cheek lightly. She then brought her lips against his, just a soft brush of skin on skin but the feeling was electric. "For you, I'll stay," she whispered against his lips. She wasn't able to trust herself if she stayed, so she forced herself to her paws. "Sleep well, Ulric." Eska turned and made her way off of the balcony and back down to the guest room where she had stayed the first night. Fire burned within her belly, but she would be glad that she'd not gone through with her lustful urges on the morrow. Eska lay awake for a long while, but eventually sleep claimed her.






Ulric

Loner

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7 Years
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Male
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Dire wolf
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Heavy
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The Ooze ParticipantThe Ooze - Variation 3Double MasterIce Bridge ExplorerMammoth HunterBeevent
1KCritical Hit!
05-16-2021, 08:09 PM
Ulric tried his best to ignore how their fur mingled together and how sparks and electricity danced across his skin wherever they touched, but he wasn't wholly successful in that endeavor. That little sigh of pleasure encouraged him, kept him nuzzling through her scruff, making his mind going places it certainly shouldn't be going with someone that he had just met. Someone that was here because of the shared grief they felt. Someone that had just lost a mother she had never gotten to know. And yet his foggy mind still went there on its on accord as he waited for her response to his question, silently praying that she might agree.

Then he felt her move, lifting her head and forcing him to bring himself out of her fur, away from her scent that was filling his senses and intoxicating him more than the wine ever could. Silver and gold met as he watched her curiously and with a desire that he knew better than to feel, feeling her paw rest on his cheek a moment before she gave him another dose of that wonderful electric static with a gentle brush of her lips against his. She would stay. For him. The strength of the disappointment that squeezed at his chest surprised even him when she rose to her paws, leaving his side feeling distinctly empty.

He wanted to stop her, to ask her to stay with him for the night as well, but he wouldn't press his luck. He let her go with a longing glance, rumbling in return, "You as well, Eska." He watched her go, sighing softly once she was out of sight. He laid there for a few moments longer, glancing at the empty wine bottle beside him, before finally rising to his paws as well and finding his way to his room, closing himself inside. He laid on his bed, staring at the ceiling and thinking about the faint hint of a kiss she had offered him until he eventually drifted off into the only real sleep he had gotten in quite some time.

Ulric Adravendi