Dark paws carried her to the edge of the hot springs that had once been part of her home, stumbling though the trees that surrounded them and blocked them off from the plains on the other side. She silently prayed that no one would be around or at the very least everyone would be asleep. She knew the dens that had once been the guest dens for The Hallows mostly likely still stood vacant so perhaps some wolves attending the festival from other packs would use them. She purposefully went to the opposite side of the hot springs from where those dens were located just in case. She just wanted to get away from everyone for a moment, just a second to let herself breathe.

She fell heavily down onto her haunches near one of the farthest pools of water, her head hanging as she finally lost what little control she still had and crumbled into pieces. She had tried so desperately for so long to hold onto Sirius, keep him in her life in one way or another, bear through the heart ache to keep her friend near. But now he was gone. His mind had chosen madness and taken him somewhere she couldn't allow herself to go. Her shoulders shook with silent sobs as tears poured down her cheeks, gasping small breaths as she prayed she could just disappear into the darkness of night and just be left alone while she tried to pick up enough pieces of herself to figure out what she should do now.

Tamsyn Carpathius

It was all so hard. His emotions hurt like hot coals under his coat. It had started with Hanas rejection, and then grown and grow. New blowd hitting him, always so unexpected, and each one worse. Resin getting sick, his mother and Azure dying. Resin dying. He didn't want any of it to be true. Even Hikas kind eyes hurt him. As though some part of Mortis believed deep in his bones that everything was his own fault. Every death, every expression of pain in his family's face. It was why it was so hard to return to them. To stop the days that kept slipping by him. So long, he had been gone from the Armada so long now, falling further and further into the pain in his heart.

He wanted to enter the tourney, but all he could think about was Azures prideful grin, and how his brother would have doninates every match until it led him to the top. Instead, the winged boy found himself in the Hot Springs, the sounds of the late nighter dying away the further he took himself from Ashen. Silence, he was used to that.

Only, it was wasn't silent, not really. He coukd hear a wolf crying. He twitched, half of him wanting to rush to the wolf and see what he coukd do to help. The other half shied away. Tears meant pain, and heartache. Hadn't he had enough of that? Despite himself, his paws led him closer, and he recognised the wolf. His inner demon vanished at the sight of Tamsyn. "Auntie, Auntie? What's wrong!" He said, running to his side and unfurling a wing across her.

The silence around her was suddenly broken by a familiar voice - one she hadn't heard in a very long time. She jumped a bit at Mortis' sudden appearance, frantically sniffing back her tears and swiping a paw across her cheeks as she tried to compose herself some what for her nephew of sorts, not wanting him or anyone to see her like this. However, the moment his soft wing unfurled and draped protectively around her shoulders she knew it was no use. The more neutral expression she had been attempting to put into place shattered like the delicate thing it was and she sighed shakily as she leaned into his side, her eyes squeezing closed.

"Mortis..." she whined softly, her head tipping to lean on his shoulder. Even though all the thoughts that clogged her mind and the pain that had sunk deep into her heart, she still noticed how her head was just barely able to even reach his shoulder, having fully grown into a good ten inches of height over her. A sob choked laugh escaped her and she shifted to wrap a scarred foreleg around his back, hugging Mortis tight. "When did you get so big?" she questioned, hiding her face in his fur for a moment as she tried to force herself to breathe, force herself to calm down.

Her wish to be alone hadn't come true, but she supposed that if anyone had to find her it was at least Mortis and not one of her children or heaven forbid Sirius come to try and seek her out again. This sweet boy that she had watched climbing trees that had grown into a handsome man. She had to take a good couple minutes to catch her breath and force down her emotions before she could lift her head again, tipping her head back a bit to look up at him. "I'm sorry, Mortis," she told him quietly, her pained gaze apologetic. "I didn't want you to find me like this. I... I just spoke with your father. It didn't go well." Perhaps that was an understatement but she didn't know what else to say.

Tamsyn Carpathius

His wing folded gently around her. The soft underside brushing against her coat as he leaned closer to her. He wanted to help, that was his problem. He always wanted to help, but his heart was already over loaded with guilt and loss. He hid his head in her coat, and let out a soft, sad chuckle at her comment on his height. He still remembered when everyone else had been taller then him. Climbing trees had been easier than.

He scrunched up his nose when she mentioned Sirius. His father had always had an anger, and he remembered many times in his childhood, cowering away from the man's temper. He wasn't strong like Azure, unshakable like Asla, or even as gentle as Indigo. He hadnt expected Sirius to take it out on Tamsyn, but then grief made him even more unpredictable of late. "I'm sorry Tamsyn. He's an ass, whatever he said, I bet it isn't true" he said softly. You are good enough, you are wonderful, he thought softly to his Auntie. Sirius had a way of making others feel like a failure.

A laugh escaped her when Mortis called Sirius an ass, managing a small smile despite everything weighing so heavily on her. With The Hallows taking her away from their lives she wasn't fully up to speed with everything that had happened between Mortis and Sirius, but she did know that he had been away. Whenever she would come to visit for one reason or another she had never spotted him around. She had no doubt that Sirius had been the cause of it because as Mortis so aptly put, his father and her friend was an ass. She truly wanted to believe that what Sirius had said to her wasn't true, she wanted to believe that Mortis was right, but it was so hard when those scalding words were so fresh in her mind.

Still, despite the pain Sirius continued to cause her, she couldn't help but feel worried for him, for his family that in some ways had become her own, and for the Armada as a whole. She didn't really want to get into the details of what Sirius had said to her - that would dig up more of her personal life than Mortis really needed to endure listening to, but now that he was here she wondered if she should tell him about Sirius' mental state. Someone needed to know, someone that was still within the pack she had left. "I'm worried," she said genuinely, a frown returning to her lips. "Sirius... He thought I was Zee. He... He smelled my new boyfriend on me and I guess that triggered something and he thought I was Zee and that I had cheated on him or something like that."

Her ears folded back with concern, her brow creasing. "He realized it eventually, but... I think he still thinks Zee is there. Right before he chased me off he looked at someone that wasn't there and smiled. I..." She whined softly as words failed her. Those you love mean nothing to you, so get out of here. Get out, and go back to him. Go. "I'm sorry, Mortis. I don't want to put this on you, I just... If he's in that kind of state I don't know what's going to happen and after seeing how Resin got I can't... I can't help him. Not that he's really listened to me for a while now." Not since she drew her lines between them. Not since she pulled him back from trying to kill himself over Zee's body. He had been lost to her for quite a while now and she was just now coming to terms with that, but it was painful.

Tamsyn Carpathius

Mortis frowned heavily, lifting his head from her coat to look at the scarred, familiar face of his Auntie. his wing still held tightly around her - and somehow that felt wrong to him. that she would be small enough to fit beneah his wing. Once, she had been bigger then him. he remembered the earier days of Tamsyn in the pack, when she still seeme a little weary, but a quick ambush from the heavens would put a grin on her face. Now, now everyone Mortis knew and loved seemed to hold a cloud over their heads. so much pain and misery and loss. They alll felt it together, and somehow - at least to Mortis - felt so alone.

he set his body more straight before her, and wrapped his other wing around her too while she spoke of being worried. Of what Sirius had said to her. He hadn't been keeping up with everything his Father had done and gone through. He had been too busy hiding, but he knew that Sirius had been spending a great deal of time in the Hallows. He knew that Sirius and Tamsyn were close. He hadn't known that Tamsyn had a knew man, and he fleetingly wondered what Art thought of that. But, the main thing he worried about was Sirius. Tamsyn was right, someone needed to know. Mortis couldn't keep hiding, he couldn't bury his head in the sand while his family suffered around him. He swollowed, feeling the weight of responsibility fall over him. "I... I see. Okay. I think it's time I returned home, to my family." To keep an eye on Sirius, to be there to put him down when he fell off the edge, or die trying. Resin, Azure, they could have done it, but Mortis? He would need to do some serious training, he had to be better.

Mortis pulled another small smile across her features as he shifted to sit in front of her with both of his wings draped around her, blocking her off from the world. She watched him as he seemed to process what she told him and was able to breathe a small sigh of relief when he told her that it was time he went back to his family. She hated that she had to put this weight on Mortis' kind soul, but her options were running short. More and more she felt like she had to hold the few wolves she had left in her life closer and tighter to keep them from slipping away like so many already had. The thought about the tiny, dwindling list of wolves that she could call friend or family and it made a tight lump in her throat. At one point she thought she was living a life she could have only dreamed of and all too quickly that had been ripped away.

She brought her paws up to his face, her paws looking dainty and delicate in comparison to his larger features. She gave him a look that she would often give her children, one that was full of tender love, but also serious and firm. She made sure he was looking at her, painfully unsure of when she might get to see him again since Sirius had made it all too clear that she was no longer welcome in the Armada or at the very least not around him. "I believe in you. If you ever feel like you need someone in your corner I'm just a hop and a skip away, okay? Just remember what you said - Sirius is an ass and whatever he says probably isn't true." She reached up and wrapped her forelegs around his neck in a tight hug for a long moment, silently wishing she could do more for him.

Tamsyn Carpathius