your heart is a muscle the size of your fist
Tox
Oversized paws and lankiness was beginning to give way to a hint of the splendour of his adult form, where his sharp angled features and lithe body would become a well oiled machine of devotion and manipulation. For now, he was simply straining for the love of his kin and his god, while trying to achieve the grace he observed from the elder members of his family. Evening prayers had finished up, and the moon was beginning its ascent into the star filled heavens. The snow had receded into a thick layer of frost in the mornings, mostly worn away by noon. Thus, the young godling was lounging near the edge of the glowing pool at the shrine's centre. He would go inside and get ready for bed eventually, but for now he wanted to watch the world move around him under cover of darkness. Two-toned gaze lazily drifted to and fro, chin tilted to the sky. He was tracing the constellation's patterns, trying to commit them to memory. He wasn't sure he would ever tire of the way the night sky looked, or the moon at its fullest height. Magenta dappled coat thinned by the summer warmth, he felt a slight chill when a stray breeze moved across his form. Not quite enough to warrant a spare fur draped over his flanks, but enough to remind him he ought to head back inside soon. The sound of approaching paws drew his attention, and he tipped his head over and back to catch the silhouette of his mother gliding closer, framed by the dim light from within the shrine proper. "Mother," he murmured warmly, the hint of a smile sliding over his features. He had never been the most openly affectionate or expressive, but he felt his emotions more deeply than most, especially in his youngest days. "I'll come inside soon, promise." he commented absently, and turned his attention back to the sky. He hoped she would come lounge in the grass with him, but wouldn't make any demands of her. After all, she'd been so busy lately and probably wanted nothing more than to get some rest. "speech" |
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He seemed to be watching the sky and promised he'd go back inside soon. Toxicity masked a yawn as he turned back towards the sky. The other pups were probably already in the shrine, no doubt being brushed and groomed by Obi in the warm, fragrant rooms. Though Toxicity also longed to get off her paws, she saw the opportunity to be with one of her children and sat herself quietly by his side.
"Some say God designs the skies just as he did each of our pelts," she commented without much thought. "I didn't fully understand, but looking at all of you, I wonder if perhaps he used the same materials as the sky on your furs just to show me what they meant."
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Sure enough, his mother settled down beside him on her haunches. Without thinking too much on propriety, the young boy rolled on his hip so he could recline with his shoulder leaning against one of her thighs. He drew comfort from his mother's presence, grounded himself with the sound of her breathing just at the edge of his awareness. "Some say God designs the skies just as he did each of our pelts," she commented softly, as they sat and gazed up at the stars. He hummed softly, the sound rising ever so slightly on the last note to indicate his curiosity though he didn't say anything outright. Two toned gaze drifted towards her features, and he found himself tracing the familiar contours of her face in the pale, dim light. "I didn't fully understand, but looking at all of you, I wonder if perhaps he used the same materials as the sky on your furs just to show me what they meant." she added, though her attention did not waver as his own had from the sky. "Especially with Faith." he said softly, the edges of his maw turning up with amusement. He paused, the toes of his forepaws flexing for a moment as he thought. All of his sisters were so unique, and he supposed he wasn't a plain looking wolf either. As the weather had warmed, and he had grown, he'd watched the other youngsters flourish in their roles, while he seemed to flounder in obscurity. "Have you ever wondered if God has a plan for us? I feel like He hasn't given me as much direction as you, mother. Maybe I'm doing something wrong." he said softly, and then worried if he ought to have said anything at all. He didn't want to seem like he was questioning God, or his divine heritage. The boy was worried that he was cursed to wander the shadows, directionless and lost. "speech" |
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She scooted closer to her son so he may lean on her if he wanted. "Tell me, is there anything you see yourself wanting to do? For go or otherwise?
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His mother took his comment with the intended humour, and offered him a quiet laugh in response. "No more or less than you. You remind me of a brilliant twilight sky, when the mountains and trees have all been tinged a grey-blue, but the sky hosts puffs of cool-toned clouds against its darkening depths as the moon and stars begin to shine through. That's how God made your coat, I'm sure of it." she said, and under that ebon pelage the boy blushed a brilliant crimson. He wasn't accustomed to flattery of any kind, despite the love and affection he received from his family. The follow-up affection in the form of a small caress of her tongue between his ears was met with a soft thumping of his tail against the frost-kissed ground. "I have wondered many times. Around when I was your age, my father- the one who taught me about God- passed away in the great volcano. I felt completely lost. My mother turned to her brother for comfort and I couldn't forgive that. I felt like I had lost both of my parents. My siblings all took their own paths- one even rejecting Abraxas entirely and coming to fight my on the same mountain our father passed within." his mother explained her history with the same soft, reverent tones she often used in sermons. The boy whined lightly in a gesture of sympathy, auds tipping back towards his skull. That all sounded deeply tragic, and he wondered how she had persevered through it all. "Even when deciding to have pups, I wondered if I was doing the right thing, but God guides us in ways sometimes even we can't see. It makes us stronger- and you are already plenty strong. You've done no wrong, and feeling your feelings isn't wrong either. God doesn't punish us for feeling, or even wondering. He simply looks at our actions and our intentions." he felt the smooth coiling and uncoiling of her muscles against his shoulder as she moved closer to him, her familiar bulk imposing its warmth wherever their fur mingled. Pontifex rested his lavender and mauve marked cheek against Toxicity's powerful forelimb, letting some of the weight of his skull fall against her upper leg. There was something so soothing about leaning against his mother, who always stood as a pillar of strength despite the turmoil that might surface around her. She always seemed attuned to the correct path, and he trusted her irrevocably. "Tell me, is there anything you see yourself wanting to do? For god or otherwise?" she asked him in a hushed tone. Two toned gaze lifted to meet hers, and he blinked up at her for a moment. He hadn't put too much thought into it yet, but he was quite happy living his life as it was currently. With God, his mother, and his walks through the trees at night observing the late night goings on within the borders. "I want to serve God the way you do, mother. But..." he hesitated. Was there a point in seeking out anything else for his future? Did he need to mention anything aside from his devotion? He took the chance. "I enjoy watching what everyone else does, when I know they can't see me. There is something I like about knowing them without their walls up, and I know it is wrong to hide away, but..." he trailed off, gentle vocals dropping off as he struggled to justify his behaviour. There wasn't an excuse for spying on his packmates while they worked or did their chores, at least not one worthy of bringing up to his mother. A frown creased his features, but he didn't add anything to his statement. "speech" |
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