Maverick had left to ?find himself? ? or so he had said. He had spoken with so little emotion it had startled her. She accepted this fact with just little more than a nod and an empty stare. So this was what their life had come to, it seemed. Whatever excitement had once fueled their hearts had gone, and all that was left was a splintered sense of duty and a vast emptiness that not even moving to Ebony had filled. This pack was supposed to have been a new beginning for them, a new hope, a new legacy ? but it had been anything but. Epiphron didn?t quite understand what he was talking about until he was gone. She hadn?t been truly alone for so long. For so much of her life, she had been busy with her children and her mate, always preoccupied and rarely left to her own devices. And now she was beginning to realize that her happiness had been dependent on Maverick?s well-being. In retrospect, her utter devotion to him seemed suddenly pathetic and weak ? how had such a headstrong woman become so codependent on another? He had held her heart from the first day they had met, but in falling in love with him, she had also lost part of herself. It was easy to rule by his side, to follow in footsteps that had already been paved out for them. She couldn?t help but feel a bit of resentment, bubbling from deep within her chest, within the heart that Maverick had taken as his own. It was very same heart that had never once strayed from him, through all of his confusion and all of his self-proclaimed failures. Epiphron had left her home to be with him, and even here her throne had been short-lived. She hoped her father did not feel the same disappointment in herself than she did, for she was certain it would leave him stirring in his grave. She deserved more, and yet she condemned herself to this. It was a fate she had never anticipated for herself, and yet it had happened all the same. A marriage, followed by one litter, and then another ? so much more quickly than she had realized. A throne that had once been hers had been taken, and she had let it go so willingly. A snarl of frustration left her lips, her hackles bristling. Regret was not something she was used to feeling, and yet suddenly it overtook her, leaving her helpless to its devices. Had she taken the entirely wrong path in life? Was love a completely fictional thing, built from passion and slowly fading into a hazy sense of duty and honor? She hadn't been raised to be dutiful, only to her family; what had changed? Perhaps she ought to leave, too; she knew he would return and expect her to be here. He had done it before. She could only imagine how confused he would be to find that she was gone. But where would she go? She knew she always had a home in Valhalla, the group of wolves that Erani had brought together; she could find her brother again and lead by his side, something she had always truly wanted. She could find her children, go wherever she wanted. And so her paws carried here away from the place she had tried to make her home, going further east, toward the ocean. The salty air here stung, chilling her to the bone, fierce and relentless against her face as she pressed forward. Her gaze was distant as she searched the bay, wanting to be alone. The last thing she needed right now was to find someone who wanted to engage in small talk. A huff left her lips as she came to rest by a rock that jutted out into the ocean, curling into herself to keep as warm as she could by the sea.

He'd only stayed the one night. Just long enough to bask in her scent for a few more hours while he slept off his satisfaction and exhaustion. Although he now felt like considerably more of a jerk, he knew that he'd done the right thing - at least in his flawed mindset. He and Epiphron had been destined for one another, it had been fated by someone greater than themselves, but they'd never had a chance at anything else. They'd never experienced anything else. Their Kingdom, their children, everything they had been raised to possess had been taken from them or lost to the wilderness of Alacritia and beyond. They had nothing left to strive for. That is what he sought - something to strive for again. Complacency was not something that had ever been in his vocabulary, and it likely would never be added. He still stunk of her. It didn't matter much to him. His fur was mussed, his posture a joke, and his pride all but absent from his swagger. He was nothing, and oddly enough - he liked it. It was nice not to have expectations ladled upon his shoulders, to not have a wife so marvelous he felt as if he had to live up to her, children so divine he felt as if he was never worthy enough to be their father, a pack so strong he felt as if he weren't capable enough of leading it. It was nice to just be Maverick. Not Maverick Tahir-Mathias. Just Maverick. But it seemed, as the haphazard male traipsed aimlessly in no particular direction, he was not destined to be just Maverick yet. For as his rather startled eyes informed him, his wife was only yards away. She lay curled in a heap, presumably having been looking for him - or else running away. He wouldn't blame her for the latter, if it was indeed the case. He deserved for her to leave him. He'd failed her in every way he could imagine and then some. He watched her for a moment, determining if it was best to go about his way or break things altogether. He would send her spiraling into who-knew-what, he was sure of it, but was that not better than not knowing? He had gotten into this mess by wanting to be the bad guy, and that was precisely what he needed to be now. To do right by her he would have to do wrong. ?Don't talk,? he voiced, probably before she even realized he was there. The sea muffled any sound he would have made in approaching - and he preferred it that way. ?Just listen to what I have to say.? He was in no position to order her around, but he hoped she might listen just this one time. ?I screwed up, Epiphron.? He paused, his breath catching in his throat. ?I screwed up. And I'd like to tell you that it will never happen again, but I can't say that without lying to you.? He took a step closer, not bothering to look and see if she had turned to face him or not. He couldn't look her in the eye. ?I'm at this point in my life, and I never thought it would come, where I don't want to do the right thing - except by you. I have always done the right thing by you, and I will always do the right thing by you.? Another pause. ?But I'm tired of doing the right thing because I feel like I should, because I feel like I've got this legacy to live up to.? He rocked onto his haunches. ?I screwed up, and I'm going to continue screwing up. I'll probably keep chasing this phantom of myself that I want so desperately to find, and I'll probably keep disappointing you. I don't know who I am anymore, or what I am - but I know that I'm not happy where I am, and I want to get to a better place. I always thought that better place was where you are, but it's not - and I hate saying that. I hate that i'm dragging you along on this potentially endless search for who I want to be. I hate that I'm leaving you wondering constantly about what the future holds for us. I don't know what it holds for us, and I don't even know if there is an 'us' in the future. I love you and I'll always love you, but are we really happy like this? Do we even know how to be happy?? He stopped, the rest of the words he wanted to say had caught in his throat. ?speak,?

Epiphron hadn't expected him to return to her quite so soon -- but their goodbye had been so strange that she no longer knew exactly what to expect. How long she lay here, she did not know, but she found some form of solace in the intensity of the waves crashing against the shore. Their ferocity was alarming, but she found comfort in the sound and the cold. His voice came before his scent. It had been masked by the salty stench of the ocean. She was surprised at his arrival, and slowly she turned her head to face him. Somehow, she knew that he was not the man she had been with for these last two years, but someone entirely different. The woman's face was placid for a moment, her nose wrinkling, taking in his scent -- he stunk strongly of another woman and had not bothered to hide it. Her face contorted after a long moment, confusion and anger brimming in her sapphire gaze. He looked like a child again, like the cocky young prince she had fallen for, carefree despite the obvious hesitance that was written plainly on his face. She had never cared about being honorable, nor about being dutiful, but family came above all else. Even Maverick, the man she had wed, she had considered family. For him she had left her own blood, she had stepped from a throne into a pack she was unfamiliar with, to forge an alliance that all of Alacritia would remember. And they had both failed, the alliance crumbling to dust as the Kingdom of Seracia had fallen -- she could only wonder what might've been if he had never been in the picture at all. But he had never lied to her, and even now he didn't. He explained everything, and she watched with a red-hot gaze, waiting and wondering. His words were rushed and confused, not explaining as much as he surely thought he was. From the moment they had met, she'd thought that he'd been so perfect. So sure of who he was, and what he wanted, and here he was -- saying that he was as clueless as a child, helpless and unable to commit to her, or so it seemed. "You are pathetic," she uttered softly, seething. "After all I have done for you -- all I have sacrificed for you..." Slowly she moved to lift herself from the stone, her voice raising against the crashing waves, mirroring her own anger. "I left my family for you. Against the advice of my father, of my brother..." She remembered Cairo being unsure of her choice, but he had always given her freedom, even when she was making the wrong decision; that was what fathers were for. "...I loved you, and I wanted to rule with you. You couldn't even do that. Couldn't even keep the throne that had been all but handed to you..." Her eyes were liquid fire, her voice a low hiss as she found a growl bubbling from deep within her throat. Epiphron had never felt anger like this before, but she had never been betrayed by someone she had loved so deeply. "And you aren't even man enough to deal with a few months of boredom and uncertainty... you sound like a child who has grown bored of an old toy..." she spat, images of Maverick's uncle suddenly bursting into her mind. The Mathias men had been born into a tradition of polygamy, she remembered all too well; had she been too stupid to forget? "...not at all like a King. Do you forget what you are?" Or perhaps that was not him at all. Had she been tricked? She was a Queen, with or without a throne -- she belonged on the top of the hierarchy, with or without him, and she was beginning to slowly realize he had been holding her back; at least it seemed so, in her mind. "Don't worry, though... I don't mind reminding you..." They had been so complacent and quiet for months, and although the intimacy had not entirely faded, it had grown dull and subdued. But now she felt anger coursing through her veins, a fierce need to punish him for betraying her filling her soul, a raw intensity that she didn't know she possessed so fully. With little hesitation she loped forward, moving quickly but stiffly. Her jaws suddenly parted as she leaned in, aiming to snap at his face, aiming to make him suffer the way she had suffered. She didn't care where her fangs landed, only that they did, and that he felt them to the core. She knew that such a betrayal would cut deep, but not like this -- there were no tears of sadness, no, not yet at least. Perhaps later she might cry in solitude, she might mourn his loss and wonder where she would go next. For she truly loved him, and had not wanted this at all. But right now all that she felt was raw anger, consuming her and turning her into a vicious creature. She would not let him ruin her, but she was more than happy to remind him that betraying her would haunt him forever. The taste of his blood would not satiate her anger. Unlike her brother, she had never been interested in violence and pain, but she believed he deserved it. Finally she filled away, her gaze leaving him, not wanting to look at Maverick for a moment longer. "Go," she snarled simply, unaware of whatever injury she might have caused him, blinded by feral rage. "And do not come back." She had a million choices now, a dozen family she could find, a hundred men she could seduce and make her own -- but all she wanted to do now was to be alone and away from him.

She, unsurprisingly, became angry with him. Although if he were honest with himself she had probably already been mad to begin with. He'd left her again, for the second time, and had failed her in multiple other ways as well. He had failed her, his father, his mother, his children, everyone he'd ever known. He tilted his head as she mentioned reminding him who he was, and with haste she would lope toward him. Maverick didn't recoil from her, puzzled by her intentions. He didn't remain puzzled for long, as a searing pain ripped through the left half of his face. He had unknowingly shielded the right half when he tilted his head. He couldn't hold back the whimper of pain, and the unbridled yelp that ripped from his trachea. He had never felt such pain in his life, it was a raw, burning ache coupled with absolute grief. He faltered on his paws, eyes swimming with tears. His left felt as if it were on fire, and as he blinked feverishly he realized - much to his surprise - that it was unseeing. He breathed in sharply, nearly missing her banishing words. But he heard them. ?No,? he choked out, the taste of blood in his mouth. ?We got married, we made a commitment, and if you have to beat me up every day then fine - but I'm not leaving you again.? There was a sharp intake of breath. ?I screw up when we're apart, and I'm not going to screw up again - not with you.? He took a step forward, almost waiting for her jaws to come shredding his flesh once more. ?Tell me what to do. Tell me how to fix this.? There was determination in his remaining eye. ?I'll do anything.? ?speak,?

Rage flowed from her very core, spewing like bile from her lips. Growls that bubbled from deep within her chest erupted into snarls as she felt her teeth collide with his face. She felt little relief from the taste of his blood -- she had not wanted to hurt him, but she wanted him to understand. Betraying her had never been an option, and yet somehow it had happened. Slowly she pulled away from him, her vision hazy and fogged with anger, though there were no tears visible in her sapphire eyes. Slowly she licked his blood from her lips. It tasted bitter and unpleasant, and she winced slightly, as though she had hurt herself in the process. She seethed as she stared at him, watching as he stood still, not leaving despite her plea for him to. Blood began to stain his fur, and she found her gaze straying from whatever damage she had done to him. She loved him, despite what he had done -- but she had always been stubborn and his mistake had been a huge one. "One moment you sound as if you are leaving me," she spoke, her voice more level now, though her tone was scathing and cold. "And now you seem to think I want to stay with you?" A sneer remained on her lips, and her head slowly where it rested on her shoulders, her muzzle tipping toward the ground. "What will stop you from leaving me again?" For anyone else, she might not give a chance, but this was her husband -- the man she had been with since she'd become a yearling. She felt a tightening in her chest, her stomach twisting and turning, but she did not strike him again.

His eye burned like fire, but it was dull compared to the pain in his chest. He knew he had possibly lost her forever, but something told him he wouldn't be happy with life without her. She was his life, and without her he might as well die. Some of the old fire returned to him - or perhaps it was just the burning in his eye - whatever the case, he knew what he wanted, and it was her. ?I would never venture to think that you want to stay with me,? he paused, for she had every right to not want to be with him. ?I'm just letting you know that I want to stay with you. You are my everything, and it may have taken me far too long to realize that, but I know it now and I swear I'll never forget it.? 'What will stop you from leaving me again?' He breathed a sigh accompanied by a wince of pain. ?I know now that you will stop me. Plus, I'm rather fond of my sight.? Though the comment was meant to lighten the situation, it was entirely serious. He expected her to act rashly, and he knew that if he screwed up like this again he would deserve to lose his other eye - and her. Remaining leaf-green eye gazed at her almost pleadingly. ?I will do anything...? came again the faintest of promises. ?speak,?

For a moment, she had convinced herself that Maverick was leaving -- it seemed he had thought he might, too, even if only for a few moments. Her mind had began to swim with possibilities of what she might do without him, of family she might reunite with, of the freedom she would have. Once, that freedom would've been held in regard above all us, but it was with Maverick that she had created a family. Still she sneered, shaking her head slowly again, finding it difficult to reconcile what he had said and his pleading words now. "So as long as you're in my sight, I can be assured you are not out fucking another woman?" There was little warmth in her tones, only cold fury, though it had lessened considerably. "How reassuring." She had hurt him more than she had intended to, she knew that now. Part of her was tempted to ask who, who he had been with. As a child, she could've never imagined being only with one man, but now it made her nauseous to know that Maverick had been intimate with another. Perhaps knowing who would only worsen things. "Was it fun?" she had to ask, lips twitching as she threatening to snarl again. "I hope so, because it's the last time it will ever happen." And if he found himself straying again, she would not hesitate to create as much distance as possible between them. Still he seemed remarkably like a child, half-begging for her to give him another chance. "You will." she snapped. She had never deserved less than this full devotion -- just as she had given him hers. Slowly her gaze returned to him, pained to see the harm she had done. "I didn't mean to..." she started, her voice wavering a bit, the faintest hint of pain finally audible in her lyrics. Slowly she moved forward, instinct guiding her as she lapped at the fur near his eye, knowing it needed to be cleaned and afraid of what she might have done to him.

It was true, he had thought of leaving. She was probably better off without him - but he would never be better off without her. Still, most of his life had been lived for his own benefit, and most of his life had been with her. Had he been dragging her down his path with him, potentially ruining everything she had ever dreamed of? He had lost the pack, he had let their children run amok in the world - some of them possibly lost forever. He had ruined their family, and he had ruined himself. ?It won't happen again,? he voiced - a surprising amount of determination in his vocals. He would become a better man. Not for himself, but for her. She neared him, and for a moment he found himself genuinely afraid of what she might do - but there was a greater pain at stake: losing her altogether. He allowed her to lap at his unseeing eye, relieved to find that most of the blindness had been caused by an extensive amount of blood around the area. Her jaws had come incredibly close to his eye, and had apparently burst several surrounding blood vessels. He knew he would need attending to. She subtly apologized, and he shook his head. ?Even if you had meant to.. I deserved it - and a lot more.? He sighed. ?I'll need to be attended to by someone. You choose where and whom.? His eyes met hers, and he voiced a solemn vow. ?I'm done making crappy decisions, from now on you take the lead.? ?speak,?

How quickly she felt her emotions change, as turbulent as the ocean waves. One moment she'd felt bitter and angry, feeling as though she had wasted so much time with him -- and the next, she felt vague regret for striking him, though a painful knot still twisted in the center of her chest. She still could not wonder why he'd had such a sudden change of heart. One instant, he'd expressed his desire to spend time away from her, to make mistakes so that he might better himself for her; was it her teeth that had shown him how he needed to change? Or had she simply made him afraid of her, and of what losing her meant? Loneliness was not something she was used to any longer, and she couldn't help but wonder if he feared it too. But something in his voice told her that his regret was true, and that he wished he had not left her. Epiphron Adravendi-Mathias felt a snarl bubble in her throat, lingering on her lips for a long moment. But still she continued to lap delicately at his injury, knowing his punishment had been enough, but not wanting him to suffer any more than this. He stated the obvious -- that he would need someone to tend to his wound -- but she had not yet let her mind stray to this point. Slowly she pulled away, assessing the wound silently. Since she was a child, she had practiced composure, and now she found herself benefiting from her lessons. Little emotion was visible on her face, only a burning fire in her eyes. "We will go to Erani," she stated simply. Perhaps her adoptive mother would not need to know the details of his injury, but she trusted no other with the health of her husband. "I presume you can make the journey?" Her voice was not cold, but lacked warmth. "We can rest today, but we should not spare too much time." There was so much to say, but the words seemed to stick in her throat and all she did was let out a sigh.