The days that followed the tragedy she could scarcely think of without breaking apart had been spent curled into herself in their den or sitting just outside of the cave's entrance, staring up at the empty sky. The initial soul breaking heartache had begun to dull, but it only left an emptiness in its place. Leaning into Iroh and drinking in his affections only helped so much, no matter how grateful she was for his unwavering loyalty and love. She clung to him like someone lost in a storm, clinging to a rock so that they didn't get pulled out into the waves. She knew he was hurting just as much as she was, but she couldn't find it in herself to comfort him or do more than return his kisses. Her love for this man kept her head above water, but only just.

It had taken a few weeks, but slowly she was able to wake up without immediately thinking of their loss and found a way to get up and start her day without a struggle. This morning while Iroh was going through the motions of his patrols and routine, she forced herself to go out to the lake and give herself a bath, cleaning herself up for the first time since the night they lost their children. It was a moment of refreshing that she desperately needed, the cool water shaking the rust off of her and allowing her to breathe slightly easier. She had lost some weight from the weeks of being too lost in a drowning depression to find the will to eat and it was hard to not think of the fact that she'd be nearing the end of her pregnancy by now. She should be waddling around with a round middle full of pups that were going to no doubt be big and take after their father, but she wasn't.

She swallowed past the lump in her throat, pulling in a deep breath as she shoved the thoughts to the back of her mind, making her way back to their home so she could dry off by the fire. The days were quickly growing colder as fall progressed, the leaves around them beginning to shift into shades of orange and red. She settled beside the fire within their cave with a slow sigh, watching the flame flicker while her white and red coat slowly died in the warmth of it. She hadn't brought up her request to leave since that night, but it was permanently on her mind. Now that she was in a more clear head space she didn't want to press the matter, knowing it would mean pulling Iroh away from his family and everything he had ever known, but she hadn't stopped wanting it. She felt like a stranger here, Iroh's swirled gaze and warm embrace the only thing making her feel like someone that mattered. She smiled softly as she thought about her mate, her reason for pressing on even when she wanted to give up.

Elise Adravendi

He hadn’t done much beyond hold Elise over the last few days, he didn’t want to do much else than remain in her presence during the difficult time they were battling. He ached from the inside out, his heart hurt for himself, for the pair of them, and the children that they had lost. He held to Elise like he might lose himself if he didn’t, and Iroh knew she clung to him for the same reason. They shared immense joy and now this incredible loss together. They couldn’t linger in the cave and wallow over their sorrow forever though and Iroh had to go back to his responsibilities lest his absence be noted and his explanation to be expected.

He calmed his thoughts with the endless movement of his paws, putting everything into his duties around the pack. Doubling his patrols, hunting even if he wasn’t so good, if he was going to leave he had to leave his family prepared. Iroh had long realized that he would do anything to make Elise happy. Whatever she wanted he would do whatever he could to provide. Including leaving. Pyrrhic had been able to step down as leader, for many different reasons, certainly his duties could be excused just as easily. He’d take Elise and they would go live alone in the woods, no responsibilities but the two of them.

She hadn’t mentioned her request since everything happened, but it was on both of their minds. Maybe a new start was exactly what they both needed. Elise was always on his mind, and especially after his patrol. Iroh rushed back to the den, fully aware of how difficult being alone was right now. He wanted to be back to hold and support her. Even now the wound was raw, and he knew their due date had been swiftly approaching. Dark ears were at his skull as he slipped under the door flap and padded into their once cozy den. It felt lesser now.

Blue and lavender eyes found Elise, curled by the fire looking like she had freshened up. Sarabi had taken the chance to freshen the den while they were both away, everything felt better but still empty. Iroh padded closer, lowering his body and curling around Elise’s soft form. He held her up as best he could while he was crumbling as well. Maybe that was what got them through, being able to lean against one another. He kissed her cheek with the ghost of a grin, after everything they still had each other. They still had a long life together ahead of them. This wouldn’t be their only obstacle and he knew they would experience joy again. Life was cyclical, but he wouldn't have wanted to revolve with anyone but her.

Iroh Abraxas

Elise looked up toward the entrance of their home when she saw the skin that hung over the door move, a soft smile finding her lips when her gaze landed on her handsome husband. The world always felt more complete when he was near, the love he brought with him more than enough to be the light in her life that she needed so desperately. He immediately came to her, both of them drawn together like a moth to a flame, and she relaxed into him as he settled around her with a kiss to her cheek. She knew this wasn't any easier on him than it had been on her. They were two broken halves clinging to one another in hopes that they might stay afloat. She caught that faint hint of a grin, a suggestion of the smiles they used to share and suddenly she yearned for that easy grin that had stolen her heart away so easily when they met. She wished she could rewind time and rewrite history so this pain would never have to come to pass and their hearts would never have been broken like this. She wanted that grin back. She wanted their lives back.

Elise smiled softly as well and cupped his cheek with her paw, bringing his muzzle to hers as she kissed him deeply. She knew she couldn't just wipe away their pain or bring back what they had lost, but for just a brief moment she wanted to pretend. She just wanted to savor this man that had carried her through this. He was her everything and she never wanted him to ever question that fact. Her eyes closed as she tasted him for a long moment, steadily shifting while they kissed and fell into one another's arms till her chest was pressed to his and her forelegs were wrapped around his neck. When she finally let her lips break away from his, she blinked open her eyes and found his breathtaking blue and lavender gaze with a more genuine smile than she had worn since before that horrible night, her claws scratching lightly along the back of his neck.

The thought nagging in the back of her mind finally got the best of her as she thought about all the times they had traveled and spent time together, all the explorations and nights spent under the stars. She needed that. She needed to taste that freedom again and feel like she could breathe. "Lets go," she said suddenly, clinging to that idea of feeling alive again, grasping at the thought of spreading their wings again and getting out of this cave that now harbored so much pain and bad memories. "Even if its not permanently yet, lets just... go. Anywhere, I don't care. I'd go to the ends of the earth with you."

Elise Adravendi

There was a point in their struggle that Iroh thought that he wouldn’t ever see her smile again, he wasn’t sure that he would either. The fact that they were still together, they still had each other to cling to and support one another. Slowly the corners of their lips began to turn up again, and the love they shared shined through the sorrow. Elise was his everything, their grief would never go away but they still had each other and a long life ahead of them. There wasn’t anyone like this woman, she completed him in ways he hadn’t even known possible and as they recovered he was falling in love with her all over again. He held her tight and offered his sweet kisses as she leaned against him, needing his affection as much as he needed hers.

Iroh tasted her lips as she pressed hers to his, his cheek cupped in her pretty paw. He wanted to get lost in her, to forget what they lost and return to a more simple time. Back when all that really mattered was being together. He wrapped his arms around her and she shifted slowly as they kissed, eventually he held her against his chest as their bellies pressed together and her tangled himself around her thin frame. She held him back, her claws playing in the thick fur at his neck and tickling the skin beneath. Eventually she pulled back, just enough so he could gaze into her stunning blue eyes. He could breath her in, feel her heart beating heavily against her chest.

She spoke then, she spoke her deepest desire and he knew he couldn’t deny her. No matter what was going on in the background he could feel the need just as heavily as she did. They needed to take a trip, like they used to before tragedy struck. ”I know where.” He said without hesitation, leaning in and kissing her nose before untangling himself from her. What better moment than to start now? They would need a few supplies but they could be at the grove where they met by the evening. ”Just you and I..” He offered softly as he lifted himself to his paws. He stood frozen for a moment, caught in her gaze before his attention was on packing a bag for their adventure together.

Iroh Abraxas

That immediacy of his response, the way he hurried to get up so they could go to wherever he had decided was the perfect place, warmed her heart and she found herself grinning up at him as he stood and their eyes connected again. It wasn't just a small smile or something she forced to try and alleviate his fears. It was a real, true grin as she watched her mate get up to start preparing for this trip that their collective need to get away had decided would happen right this very second. "Just you and I," she agreed, her tail thumping against the fur under her before she rolled to her feet as well. A quick trip away shouldn't have been so exciting considering how many little explorations and vacations they had taken together since they became mates, but it was and she let herself get swept up in that moment of excitement, letting it lift her out of that darkness for even a moment.

She moved around the cave as well, collecting things to pack in their bag for the trip. They packed enough food and supplies to hold them over for a few days, but she knew they could always hunt once they reached wherever they were going. She didn't even care to ask where he wanted to go. Wherever it was she was excited to be there - mostly because she would be with him. They put together the bag pretty quickly from the supplies they had stored in the den and once it was securely on Iroh she went back to fold up one of the furs they had a couple of times and draped it across her back so they would have something to sleep on. She went back to her handsome man, grinning up at him as she tipped her head up to press her lips firmly to his for a moment. Their loss and the pain that came with it still lingered and it probably always would, but for now she could enjoy this momentary reprieve while they found themselves again in all of this. "Lead the way," she told him, her tail wagging gently behind her.

Elise Adravendi