Balthier had brought back a kill for the morning from the lush prey from the hidden forests in the middle of the Delta. It may have been difficult to traverse for others, but with the raft it was certainly easier, just a little bumpy on the current. Being away from the pack was nice for a number of reasons. He felt like he could get a breath of air from his responsibilities, but also he wasn't as anxious about the time he spent with Azzurra. They were always behind closed doors, he was certain that their other siblings weren't far from the idea that Balthier had cared for her more. It was more than that though. And while they hadn't really had anyone to tell them no, that it was wrong, Balthier still felt uneasy about the affections he found with his sister. As he felt more man than he was boy, for a long time he had because of the cards life had drawn for him, instinctively he was craving more but he didn't really know what that was. It wasn't like he had someone around to teach him these things.

Setting the kill outside the den they had for the last few nights, he entered closing a door behind him to keep out the odd fireflies and other creatures that had plagued the rest of Boreas. He wondered if things would be starting to go back to normal but maybe it was just all the traveling they were doing. He quickly put the winter changes behind him.

He looked along the frame of his sister as he walked in, stepping over her smaller body, pulling her into him from under her rib cage as he laid down even if she seemed busy doing something. His nose pushed gently to nuzzle in between her cheek and her ear as he went to relax from the day. She must have noticed the difference in him from the days they were in Abaven to days they spent together now. Maybe it was a little sense of vacation, or maybe she knew about his conflicting feelings about holding her this way.

"Balthier"

Azzurra was resting in the den she had been sharing with Balthier over the last few days, her dainty paws working on weaving some sturdy rope from some vines she had collected in the days prior. She wasn't as strong or capable as Balthier in many ways, but this was something she could do that she knew came in handy in his hunts or for use on his raft so she tried to keep a good supply of them handy for him. Ever sense the trip to The Hallows she felt like she had been all the more attached and dependent to him. There for a while she had been getting better, building her strength, and even doing a little bit of exploring on her own and meeting new wolves, but after that... After that she reverted back to staying in the den most of the day, hiding away from the world. She didn't want to stay in the pack any more, especially not when the den they lived in had been built by their deceased father, and it wasn't really until they left and started their travels together that she began to feel like she could breathe again. She went with Balthier occasionally, but mostly she stuck close to whatever place they had deemed their home for the time being, collecting odds and ends and seeing what she could craft out of them.

Her pale ears perked at the sound of movement from the mouth of the den, twisting her head back to look over her shoulder as her brother came in to join her, making a smile pull across her lips. "Welcome back," she said before looking down at her work again, her form stretched out on some of the furs they had laid out to sleep on. It wasn't as plush or luxurious as the den they had lived in before, but she was happier here all the same. She blinked with surprise as she felt his larger frame against her own, giggling softly as his strong limbs wrapped around her and pulled her back into his chest, forcing her to abandon the rope she was braiding. It wasn't as if they hadn't snuggled together for basically as long as she could remember and even kisses shared with him had become slightly more common place for them, but it wasn't that often that he would come lay like this with her in the middle of the day.

He had certainly gotten more affectionate since they left the pack, but in all honesty she had cracked it up to the same kind of relief that she felt being away from somewhere that harbored so many bad memories. The freedom of it was suiting them well and she had always enjoyed the attention he gave her whenever she was able to get it. She hummed happily as he nuzzled into her cheek, leaning into his touch as she settled back into his chest, her small, pale gray paws resting on his foreleg where it crossed over her torso. It never really crossed her mind that this wasn't something they should do. In the small, isolated world she lived in and confined herself to she had very little interaction with others and didn't know much of how typical families interacted. All she knew was that this made her happy and with happiness and attention in such short supply she was grasping at every little shred of those things she could gather.

"Azzurra"

As she leaned back into him, his breath had cut itself off. He still blew it off as nothing as he looked back up at her face with a gentle grin. He was happier than he had ever been in his entire life while he was here with her. Now that they were away from Abaven, now that she wasn't really sick anymore. He could take her out into farther lands just like he had promised, she could finally have the chance to explore more than she ever had been able to before.

"I haven't distracted you from anything have I?" He teased as his paw pulled her to tilt her in just a little more towards him. Looking at the top of her head, he took his other paw and gently brushed it over her ear before tucking it back under her to hold her, "I hope I've made you happy Azzie." His tone and expressions turned a little more serious as his eyes searched back into hers again, but he wasn't sad or anything. Him getting away from Abaven was more for him than it was for her, but at this point in his life he almost lived for her. He had taken Allegro's place caring for her, she needed him. All he wanted was to keep her smiling and looking forward to what they would do next.

"Balthier"

Azzurra gave a little shake of her head when he asked if he had distracted her, replying, "Nothing important." Rope vines surely weren't going anywhere and there was more than enough time to kill in her daily life that she needed to fill with something. She turned her head to look at him as he turned her a bit with his paw, giggling softly a bright smile on her face, her short tail wiggling. The high points of her usually boring days were these moments when she had Balthier's full attention, enjoying the way he looked at her and the way he made her feel. She hummed softly when his paw brushed her ear, looking up at him happily. She saw the slight shift in his expression and she gave a tilt of her head as he looked at her more seriously.

She smiled again at his statement, chuckling as she leaned up to tap her nose against his. "Of course you do, silly," she told him, though her expression didn't quite match the lightness of her words as their blue gazes met and she looked up at him with love and affection. Everything she had was because of him. He had kept her company all through her illness, made sure she was cared for when their father couldn't, kept her fed, gave her a home, gave her love. Of course he made her happy, but it went a lot deeper than that. She didn't know if other siblings had this kind of connection or if this was a strange sort of thing to feel, but she didn't really care. For once in her life she was content and not constantly worried about tomorrow and she had Balthier to thank for that.

She shifted and turned in his embrace till she was facing him, her light colored paws resting on his dark chest. She used the foreleg under her head like a pillow as she looked up at him happily. "You know you make me happy... Why do you ask?" It wasn't really a question she supposed, more of a statement of how he hoped that he did, but she didn't want that to ever be a question in his mind. He deserved every good thing that she could possibly help influence in his life and she wanted him to be just as happy living out in the world with her.

"Azzurra"

He relaxed against the back of their den, holding Azzurra tightly to him as she too rested on his own foreleg. Believing her was simple, he didn't doubt that she was just telling him the truth about how she felt. With them being together all the time, it was hard to think she was unhappy at all. But it did have him wondering too if she had hinted on his own troubled feelings. At least in the last couple weeks they had been traveling, there wasn't a harsh day they had together. It was like Abaven was left behind them.

"It's just..." He hesitated, because everything had been so great lately. Azzie didn't have to be reminded of what she had lost from being sick, and Balthier didn't have to worry about the mass responsibility that their father had put on him. "Your life has been so hard." Their lives had been hard. He didn't want to really bring anything up, he didn't want to ruin anything. They were both feeling happy from what he could see. And over the course of leaving Abaven, it made Balthier feel differently about Azzurra. She was in his dreams, she gave him this yearning for her that he couldn't describe.

The paw over her gently traced over rib cage and back as he admired her chest and her face in front of him, "You're so beautiful Azzie." And she was to him, like a delicate angel. He would have done anything for her, and it was probably to only reason that she was with him today otherwise he'd probably be on his own. His muzzle lingered before her's, and then he carefully pushed forward to kiss her softly.

"Balthier"

Azzurra smiled a little as Balthier mentioned how hard her life had been, giving a small nod as she glanced down at his chest, looking at the dark fur there while her small paws absentmindedly played with it. It was impossible for her to forget the difficulty she had faced pretty much since the day she was born, but sometimes she lost perspective of just how hard it had been. All she had ever known was being sick, being without their mother, the weird glances from her father, his disappearance, their death... There hadn't been much good or happiness to look back on. When everything was bad and painful it was hard to recognize that it was bad and painful. It all felt the same. It was only when she started spending more time with Balthier and she got a taste of happiness and when she started to get better and got tastes of freedom that she began to be able to understand just how hard her life had been.

Balthier made everything better. He brought her out of Abaven, gave her the adventure and freedom she had always craved, he gave her the attention and care that she needed. He gave her everything and she could only try to repay him for everything he had done. His paw on her side left little tingles across her skin and she brought her gaze back up to his face, blue eyes searching his. She always loved seeing his eyes this close. The pretty gradient from a purplish hue to a bright, aqua blue was one of her favorite features of his. She would never admit it, but she was secretly envious of her brother. He was brave, strong, and skilled... Striking and handsome in his appearance. She felt so weak and plain in comparison. Despite her own thoughts of herself he did things like hold her and make her feel loved.

As if reading her thoughts he told her how beautiful she was and her ears flicked back shyly with a flush coming over her features, the pink of her skin peeking through where her fur was palest. "And you're so handsome, Balth," she said softly in return and she meant it. Whenever he looked at her like this he made her feel like she was the only other wolf in the entire world, like she was the single most important thing to him, and that feeling made her heart skip and flutter in her chest. Her toes delicately curled around clumps of the fur on his chest as he brought his muzzle down to hers, feeling her breath catch in her chest in the few moments before he kissed her and a relief when he finally did. No matter how many times they were like this it never really lost its luster. It still blew her away each and every time and made her want to keep this moment going for as long as she could.

"Azzurra"

Balthier began kissing her gently, as they had so many times after Allegro had left them. It almost came second nature to him, like Azzurra had taught him how to handle her this way but she hadn't known anything herself. They had grown so much together since then, together and for each other. Balthier too felt that tingling in and under him with every time they shared these moments. It almost never felt different, or at least it felt better than the last.

He gentlly pushed her onto her back, rolling her with the push of his chest but holding her steadily by her side with his paw. As the kisses got deeper, he found himself flashing back to dreams he had of Azzie before, ones he had to leave the den to get his mind on other things. But he didn't hesitate even a moment this time. Not with Azzie under him, this wasn't a dream. The excitement from under him brushed against her as he did, but he didn't shy away from it. With Azzie being the closest being in his life and his sister, he was comfortable with every part of him exposed to her. He didn't have any other ideas though as he just continued to share their heated kiss. This was all she wanted from her in this moment, though he wouldn't have forced it on her if she didn't want it.

"Balthier"

Azzurra kept her lips pressed to Balthier's, returning his kiss in earnest and her eyes flickering closed as she savored it. She wondered if these moments would ever stop making her heart race or stop stealing her breath away. Without really even realizing what she was doing she pulled herself tighter to him while they kissed, her paws shifting up from his chest to wrap around the back of his neck as she did so. Even just the feeling of their fur mingling together and his strong, warm body pressed to hers made her feel things that she didn't understand, but she didn't want to stop. He made her feel beautiful, loved, important... He made her feel wanted and she needed that more than even she really understood. He gave her everything she needed and even gave her the things she didn't know she needed.

Her heart skipped in her chest when Balthier rolled them so that he was on top of her, but she didn't pull away. She had never known what it was they were doing until they did it, only figuring things out together and doing what felt good. She didn't fully understand why it felt right to have his body pressed into hers, but it did and it only made that gnawing, burning desire in her belly burn brighter. She felt him, all of him, against her and eventually she made herself pull away from his kiss with a soft gasp, panting lightly as she blinked her eyes open to look up at him. She didn't know exactly what she wanted, she just knew she needed him, more of him. He was the only thing that gave her any kind of relief and she needed that more than ever. With a nervous flutter in her belly, she brushed her muzzle against his, holding onto him as if doing so could help keep her in one piece. "I... I want more, Balth..." she whispered, desperately hoping he would know what that more meant.

"Azzurra"

His body pushed against her carefully but somehow also satisfied him just enough with the right amount of pressure. He kept his lips to hers until she pulled them apart, begging him for more. He felt like he could nearly take the breath from her as his mouth stayed just barely over her own. He went back deep into their kiss, continuing just what they were they left off. His body instinctively moved downward as the time went on, his own sister's cravings well in his heart and mind.

His face pulled away from hers as he craned over her to look into her eyes as he proceeded, caring more about hurting her than his own desires. It was only until he knew that she was comfortable that he nearly collapsed over her for the sheer pleasure he felt, but stayed just high enough so he wouldn't crush her. "Fuck Azzie," he whispered with his nose close to her ear, "I didn't know this is what I've wanted all this time." It wasn't what he needed, but his young adolescent thoughts pointed him directly to this moment. Everything seemed to fall into place of just how much he loved and cared for her. All of his doubts were washed away, guilt forgotten. It was only them in this moment and there was nothing on his mind other than his beautiful Azzie. He pushed himself back up off the ground to look back into her eyes to kiss her again deeply, there was no going back now.

-Fade-

"Balthier"

What little control she had over her heart was thrown out the window when Baltheir heard her plea for more and pressed back into another deep, heated kiss. She clung to him with the toes of her forepaws curled around clumps of fur in his scruff, desperate and nervous and excited and anxious all at once. She trusted Balthier with her life and trusted him implicitly as she gave herself over to him now. She felt him shift and just before he found parts of her that no one else had known he pulled away from their kiss and she looked up into his eyes again, holding his gaze as he stole her breath away and introduced her to feelings and sensations she had never known before. They weren't all good feelings, at least not at first, and her ears folded back as she tried to only focus on his eyes and his face through the worst of it until she got used to the feeling of them coming together like this. Once he nearly collapsed from it and she saw just how much he enjoyed it, heard his breathy whispers against her ear, she knew every second of discomfort was worth it just to give him this. "I didn't either..." she whispered back, breathless and overwhelmed. She returned his kiss again and only thought of how much she cared for him and how grateful she was to be able to share this moment with him, giving him everything and more.

- fade -

She was curled into his chest when everything was done, breathless and tired as she reeled from it all, her mind still trying to catch up with the present after tumbling so fast into things she hadn't expected to experience. If there was anyone that she wanted this experience with it was Balthier. He was the only one she trusted enough to have all of her like that and she couldn't stop hearing his voice replying in her mind. "I didn't know this is what I've wanted all this time." She was able to give him something that he wanted and even though she could never repay him for everything he had done for her it felt like maybe she had something else to offer him in exchange now. She adored the way he reacted, the way he looked at her. It was a feeling she had already been addicted to and that feeling only deepened now. She nuzzled into his neck as she started to catch her breath, eventually lifting her head enough to find his gaze again. Even though she had overcome the worst of her illness and she was growing stronger every day, something this physical had still worn her out and she looked at him with tired, heavy lidded eyes. "I love you, Balthier," she said softly before she rested her head on his chest again, letting her eyes close for a moment.

"Azzurra"

His paws pulled her in as he was finally released, he had been a little rougher than he intended but still very considerate of her own needs. Nothing but Azzie and this moment was straight forward in his mind. Not until the very final few seconds. He didn't falter, going through with everything that felt so incredibly right to him just until this second that he eased, and it was when the guilt smacked him right upside his head like a bat.

He almost plopped down next to Azzie, holding her both close and loosely with a heavy breath and near emotionless as he took in everything he was feeling. As she looked up at him, he returned their gaze and forced a smile, still trying to catch his breaths from the moments prior. His paw gently rubbed along her back and side as she got comfortable. "I love you too, Azzie." It was not a lie, it was just how everything complicated it. He knew little, but this wasn't right. As much as he would have begged and pleaded to his maker for it to be. He didn't want to ruin it, he didn't want to ruin her. Azzurra was everything to him, and he would give her everything she wanted all in his power. He'd stay here with her in his arms, and let the cursing emotions dwell until it wasn't obvious how he was feeling to walk away. It was better this way.

"Balthier"

If it wasn't for how winded and tired she was from what they had done together she might have picked up on his forced expressions sooner, she might have noticed the sudden change in things sooner, she might have noticed how he wasn't holding her as tightly any more. As it was, she was too caught up in her own overwhelming, adoring emotions to notice right away and for a while she was able to simply lay there with her head on his chest, listening to his heart beat and letting herself recover. She was silently thinking to herself how she didn't know how she would have made this moment any better, about how at peace she was in Balthier's arms, how any bit of discomfort she might have felt through the whole thing had been worth it and that surely it would only get better the more used to it she became. She was oblivious to how Balthier was feeling—at least until she looked up at his face.

After a little bit she had an urge to look into his eyes again, wanting to tell him how much she liked his eyes since it crossed her mind that she had never told him that before, and she lifted her head from his chest to look up at him with a floaty smile on her lips. However, that smile quickly faded when she caught the tenseness in his expression, the uneasiness in his gaze. Maybe he was trying to hide it, but she knew him inside and out. They had spent so much time together that she could read him better than anyone so even the slightest change in his expression was noticeable to her. The thing that hit her hardest though was the fact that it was in such stark contrast to how he was looking at her before be took her. Her ears flicked back and her chest squeezed with some emotion she couldn't quite place. "Is... Is everything okay?" she asked softly with a little frown, one of her small paws lifting to brush his cheek.

"Azzurra"

Azzurra had known him better, and after a second look where he was much more lost in his thoughts, she knew that he wasn’t entirely happy in the after. In fact it may have appeared the complete opposite. His paw over her pulled her hips in almost as if to cradle her, "Everything’s fine Azzie, go to sleep." But his expression did little to convince her. To him it was like because she had noticed, he couldn’t even fake the satisfaction anymore. She knew every part of him, and it would be his own ruin.

She was not so lenient on him though, and he was almost angry about it. Because he knew if he spoke the truth on the dark side of his emotions, it would hurt her more than she could know. He almost ignored her, slipping his paw over her shoulder as if she needed comforting, "Just please always remember the best parts of this." Because yes, he wouldn’t deny that there were bad parts, that these moments would probably heavily outweigh the good ones just like the rest of their lives had done to them. He didn’t want to hurt her, he wouldn’t. He would keep his own burden on his shoulders.

"Balthier"

Balthier pulled her in closer, her thin, small frame easily moved by him, but it didn't feel the same. Now that she had seen the look on his face and picked up on his displeasure she couldn't unsee it. She almost wished she could just brush it off and say she was imagining things so that she could go back to basking in the love and contentment she had felt, but that was swept away now. Worry took the place of that in her chest and something else that she couldn't quite name. The only way she knew how to describe it was rejection, but she didn't even know what exactly she was being rejected from. He had said it himself. This was what he wanted. She had given him every part of herself so that he could feel good and have what he wanted and she had been happy and satisfied in knowing that she had given him that pleasure in return for everything he had done for her. And now as he tried to brush off her concerns and tell her to go to sleep she felt a little panic creep up in her chest. "No, what is it?" she insisted, her two toned ears against her head as she searched his face.

He didn't answer her and that worried her more. The way he cradled her with his foreleg around her shoulders probably should have helped, but if anything it just made it worse. She had been coddled and cared for for so long, but she didn't want to brush this away. She felt like they had shared something so special and important and now for him to feel like this... She needed to know why. She frowned at his insistence for her to just remember the best parts of this and her chest felt tight as she pushed her paws into his chest to force herself away from him enough to be able to look up at him again with a furrow in her brow. "Balthier, what do you mean? What are the bad parts? What's wrong?"

"Azzurra"

She kept pestering him and he couldn’t really blame her but he just wanted her to forget. Maybe it was too much to ask. Balthier had truly enjoyed himself and loved for every second of it. It wasn’t her, it was him.

He grit his teeth as she pulled back and asked him again, her own tone hurting him more than it should. He rolled on top of her almost aggressively, his voice spitting more frustration than misunderstanding, "Enough Azzurra!" He hadn’t really meant to upset her at all, but he couldn’t control how much he was holding this back from her. Though maybe if he had talked about it, they could complete their own conclusions together.

Looking away from her as he felt fiery inside, he pulled away from her to leave the den. He wasn’t going to sit here and listen to her, and he wasn’t going to keep getting angry with her.

-Exit Balthier
"Balthier"

Azzurra saw his frustration deepen as she pushed to try and get answers from him, insisting on knowing what was causing him to feel anything but good about what they had shared. She couldn’t understand what was keeping him from telling her. They shared everything. They knew each other inside and out. Why was this suddenly the line he drew where he decided this was what he didn’t want to talk about it? She wasn’t going to just let this go, she refused. If she did it would just eat her up with worry that it was something she did, something that was her fault—just like how she felt about their parents abandoning them.

But then he rolled and pushed her down into the furs again, standing over her and yelling down at her with frustration. She gasped and her ears pinned back, staring up at him with wide eyed shock and fear, her paws pulling away from him as they tucked against her chest. And then all at once he was gone. He got off of her and stormed out, leaving her alone and hurt—physically and emotionally.

Tears filled her eyes as she rolled onto her stomach, wincing a bit at how sore she was as she moved, and she looked toward the door of the den where Balthier had disappeared. He had never spoken to her like that, never treated her like that. Things had felt so perfect and blissful and then suddenly it all came crashing down. Just when she thought she had something good it all shattered. She curled into herself with her back to the door, covering her face with her forelegs while she cried. She almost wished Balthier had never shown her how good things could be because it hurt even more when it wasn’t.

"Azzurra"