Azzurra blinked open her eyes as she slowly worked her way out of sleep, looking across to the other side of the still dark den. With the sun seemingly permanently hidden away it was always pretty dark, but if she had to guess it was probably pretty early in the morning—not that time really made much difference these days. They just kind of were awake until they got tired and slept until they wanted to get up since there was no real day or real night. Her sapphire gaze landed on Balthier as she turned her head toward him, watching him sleep for a moment with her mismatched ears flicking back. It had been several days since their fight and even though the sting had dulled enough for it to be much easier to keep up a smile and to be around him, things hadn't really gotten all that much better for her. He seemed to just move on as if everything could be forgiven and forgotten, but not for her.

She had purposely not initiated anything with him as far as affections went, at least nothing more than the snuggling they did when they were sleeping. She just wanted to see what would happen if she left it up to him to initiate things now. Would he try to kiss her, try to sleep with her? Or did that one time satisfy whatever it was he was wanting to experience? How much was he lying when he told her how much he loved her, how beautiful she was, and all of those other nice words? So far with her experiment she hadn't received much more than a kiss on the cheek or the occasional nuzzle from him and each time they laid down at night and she felt him fall asleep beside her it made her stomach twist into knots.

Even though the fall out that had happened after he took her had tainted everything, she couldn't stop thinking about the feeling of being needed and wanted in the moments that led up to that moment. Very little had felt as good as that feeling had and it made her heart ache with a need to feel that again. It was becoming exceedingly obvious that if she didn't do anything then Balthier might never give that to her again, but the deep seated love in her heart for him wouldn't let her look elsewhere for it, at least not yet. Her dedication to him still hadn't wavered no matter how difficult it had become.

She frowned for a moment before she finally shifted from where she was pressed into the curve of his side, wiggling her way under his foreleg so that she could press into his chest, her pale paws slipping around his neck while she nuzzled into his cheek, gently pulling him from sleep with kisses across his ear. "Balthier..." she said softly with a little whine, her ears back against her head as she gave into her desires and gave up her experiment to do it. As she pressed herself to him she felt a bit like she was having to give up on her own resolutions and tempt fate to get what she wanted, but she wanted him and she didn't know what else to do.

"Azzurra"

Life had felt different since he had taken all of Azzie. Though he had put their fight behind him, he was still careful for the way he treated her. He couldn't help but feel bad about yelling at her, because it was so unlike him. And while he didn't necessarily feel a tension between them, he had been keeping to himself as of the last few days. Gentle affections he had always shared with her, but nothing further.

He still slept well next to her, he still felt like she needed him no matter what kind of troubles they went through together. He needed her too, but he was not awakened to what else the world had to offer. He was open to her and nothing else, she was all that mattered in his life.

He woke up slowly, humming as she pulled him into her and pulled him away from sleep more lovingly than she may have known. His eyes just barely opened as she said his name, a gentle smile as he caught her form tangled in his. His arms wrapped tightly around her shoulders as he rolled onto his back and carefully pulled her on top of him. His paws releasing her, he caressed her sides as he looked at her but nothing more. Maybe there was a part of him that was scared to continue on, to go all the way again. He didn't want to upset her like he had, but he loved her and he loved being with her like this. It was undeniable to him how much he wanted her, and in this moment it would seem like holding her like this and looking at her made her the only thing on his mind.

"Balthier"

Suddenly everything shifted as he started to wake up, wrapping her up tight in his forelegs before rolling with her so that he was on his back and she was laying across him. His paws moving down her body, tracing her sides, made her heart race and her face flush, her ears pinned back against her head. Sometimes it was like she could read every thought in his mind and guess his every move, but ever sense the night that they fought that was getting more and more difficult to do. That moment had made her question everything she thought she knew about him and how he felt and she hated it. She loved the blissful ignorance she had before that moment, but now that it had been shattered there was no going back. When he held her like this it made her feel like he wanted the same things she did, but did he really? How could she know?

Her desires and the tingling fire that ignited from everywhere they touched started to drown out her doubts and fears and she pulled herself tighter to him, nuzzling into his neck with a soft whine. Her delicate paws held onto his fur as if that could anchor her down when she felt like this fire might send her flying away and he was the only thing that could save her. "Balthier... I want you..." she said softly, tipping her head to be able to leave a trail of kisses along his jaw. She didn't like feeling as if she had to plead for his affections and attentions, but she wanted them so badly. She wanted that feeling of being the only thing in his world if even for just a moment, but already she was bracing herself for the disappointment that would come when it was over. She still didn't know what caused his hesitance, his regret, but she was trying to accept the good with the bad and just deal with the fact that those reactions might always exist from him. It was a risk she would have to take if she was going to get everything else she craved.

"Azzurra"

Balthier felt exactly the same way as Azzurra, even though his previous actions from days prior may have suggested otherwise. Ever since the first time they had kissed it was like some kind of clarity had come over him about how much he truly cared about her. It only heightened his love for her once they had gone all the way, regardless of what hidden and unnecessary guilt he found underneath. The way she kissed his neck, her claws tugging gently on the skin of his chest, it made the inside of him crave what they had shared a few days ago.

His breath left him as she told him she wanted more and he wouldn't deny her. There wasn't even the slightest bit of hesitation as he moved forward. His paws carefully wrapped around her her shoulders again, his nose pulling down to grab her attention as he pushed into a subtle and then deeper kiss. His body brushed against her without moving onto the next level while he felt that tingling and craving of wanting, needing more. His paws again trailed along her sides to her hips as he took her again, satisfying what both of them wanted. He bit his lip at the harsh feelings that rose in him at the end, finding Azzurra's matching eyes and soothing himself instead of dwelling on what felt wrong. Looking into her helped the feelings subside, and this time felt much different than the last.

-Fade-

"Balthier"

He didn’t respond, but he didn’t need to. His forelegs wrapping around her again, pulling her tight against him while his muzzle found hers to catch her lips in increasingly deep kisses answered for him. When he did things like this it made her head spin, making her question all of her doubts and making her crave more and more. Maybe their first time hadn’t been her idea, maybe she had done it because she thought that’s what he wanted, but this time was very much from her own burning desires. It was easier to ignore the worries that it might turn out the same way it had before when all she could think about was needing Balthier to fill this need for her and put out this fire being with him sparked in her. Soon enough she felt his paws on her hips and gasped softly as he took her again, this time not as painful as the last. She savored it like it might be the last time she was able to, fully finding her own pleasures from Balthier in that moment.

-fade-

When it was all over she still laid draped across him, her head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat as it slowly evened out into a steady rhythm again. She was afraid to look up at his face. Instead she kept her eyes closed, listening to his heart beat, pretending everything was perfect. If he felt the same regret or conflict as last time she didn’t want to know. He clearly wouldn’t tell her or let her help him with whatever it was so she decided to live in blissful ignorance—at least for now. As long as he was still willing to satisfy these cravings he sparked in her and was still willing to make her feel loved then she could be mostly content. "What do we do now, Balth?" she mused quietly after a while, one of her paws gently pulling through the fur on his chest. "What’s our next plan now that we’ve left Abaven?"

"Azzurra"

He didn't pull her face up as she relaxed into him, but this time he had felt a lot better than the last, and the first time they had been together. It was like he had found a way to drown the bad feelings, but they still arouse in the act. He really didn't know if there would be a day where this would feel a hundred percent perfect to him, or if he would ever voice those feelings to Azzie.

As she laid close to him on his chest, his paw gently rubbed up and down her back as his gaze went into the ceiling. Just as she soothed to the sound of his settling heart beat, he too soothed to the sound and feel of her own breathing against him. His mind wandered across their times together, even the last that he had ruined in his own. But he had asked Azzie to remember the good, and that's what he was doing too.

His eyes peeked down at her as she spoke, but when she didn't look up at him, his gaze moved back into the ceiling. She asked a question he didn't really have an answer too. They had left Abaven because of the pain of the memories. Everything was once so good and perfect and little by little their whole world was taken apart piece by piece. Balthier did struggle knowing that he had left Solo and Psalm behind, but if he wasn't as close to Azzie as he was he would have left on his own. "I don't know." he answered, but not with any sort of concerning uncertainty. "Would you like if we found another pack to stay in?" Baltheir felt content living out in the wilderness with Azzie and traveling by the raft, and it had in fact let him come this far with her emotionally. But if she had felt better, safer inside a pack there was nothing he wouldn't do for her. He could provide for her and a pack, he would break his back to keep her happy. Even though somewhere deep inside her she was struggling with what he wouldn't share with her, and he was ignoring what could potentially destroy them.

"Balthier"

Azzurra wasn’t necessarily surprised by Balthier telling her that he didn’t know what their next move should be. She certainly didn’t know what to do and had really based everything she did off of what Balthier wanted. She had no strong ties to Abaven and the ties she did have weren’t pleasant ones besides the fact that she barely even knew her other siblings so when he wanted to leave there was absolutely no hesitation in joining him in that. It wasn’t until the night that they fought and she was left realizing just how dependent she was on him that she had any kind of regret or worry that maybe she had made the wrong choice. At the end of the day she didn’t know if she’d be any better off staying in Abaven without him, but she felt like maybe if she had she’d have more options.

She didn’t respond right away when he asked if she would like to find another pack to live in. One part of her that had always craved the freedom they now had wanted to say no, especially not when they were just beginning to delve into their explorations and training, but on the other hand she wondered if this was really the kind of freedom she wanted. She still felt like a burden on him. She wasn’t fully capable on her own yet, wasn’t able to defend herself or properly hunt for herself. Without him she might as well give up and die. If they were in a pack there was at least the chance that there would be food stores for her to eat from if she needed to and other wolves she could learn from so she wouldn’t have to cling to Balthier so tightly. "Maybe," she finally replied after a long moment of consideration. "It could be good for us… if we can find a place we like better than Abaven." She didn’t want to settle for somewhere necessarily, but she was open to the idea if it could keep her from being a burden on him and could give her a bit more independence.

"Azzurra"