A very troubled Jupiter was wandering the Knolls. In his mouth was the plank of wood covered in mushrooms synced up with his heartbeat. Since seeing what could happen to those who fucked with their mushrooms Jupiter had been treating his like they were royalty. He carried them everywhere, protected them from everything, and never - no never - touched them because fuck that he'd learned his lesson the first time. Though not infected he was paranoid enough. The thought that something might happen to those little bastards that could stop his heart scared the shit out of him.

After checking to make sure the coast was clear of any sort of hoofed or pawed miscreant that might accidentally stomp his shrooms, Jupiter set his plank down to give his mouth a break. He straightened and began to work his jaw; loosening the muscles that had grown tense carrying the plank around.

Cascade knew something was different - though she moved through her afterlife in a simulation of the Imperium lands she had lived, loved, and died in, so it seemed at first glance to be no different, she knew this was not the dream-death world she inhabited. This was, somehow, by some miracle, the real world that she had left behind. But not all was right with this world, and as she wandered her old haunts - pun fully intended of course - she was torn between delight at being back and worry for her descendants and their patriarch. She wanted to seek out Valentine and see how her best friend was handling the strange new world, but the real world wasn't as easy to navigate as the dream world - she was so used to just thinking herself somewhere that this need to drift like a little ghostly wolfish cloud across the knolls was frustratingly slow. The other option was to prank some poor unsuspecting soul which was honestly almost as good as seeing Valen again.

She got the opportunity for that option sooner than she tracked down Valen, for lo and behold there was exactly the perfect sort of unsuspecting sucker, carrying a board of mushrooms as Cascade wafted in his wake. Even better, he was one of her grandkids. He was bound to be some fun. She waited until he had set the board down and was stretching his jaw before jumping in front of him, materializing as hard as she could, and shouting the skmple classic, "Boo!"

Clearly he had been doing a lot of hunching since picking up the board because now that he was just standing there without it his neck felt a million times lighter and he felt taller. Jupiter rolled his neck and nearly groaned at how nice it felt. Man, he needed to come up with a better solution. Maybe he should strap the suckers to his back or something.

He was mid neck roll when an ethereal shape appeared out of nowhere in front of him. Wound as tight as he was, his grandmother could have shouted literally anything and it would have had the same effect. Jupiter startled and stumbled back as though struck. "SHITFUCK!" he roared in confusion. Was that...? Was it really? Jupiter looked the ghostly form up and down with a suspicious squint. He didn't know what to say let alone do. Hell he couldn't even gather the wherewithal to piss himself. "What. The fuck?"

Cascade grinned in Cheshire-cat satisfaction at her grandson's reaction. Weird, unsettling shit or not, she was fucking pleased as all get out to be in the real world again. She was tired of waiting until her family accidentally stumbled their way into the dream world before she could harass them - this way was infinitely better. "Hello there, Grandson," she laughed. "I see the world has gone to absolute shit since I've been gone, which is not at all a surprise or anything. What's with the mushrooms?" She wasn't sure that the guy would recognize her she'd been gone so long and being all ghostified, and she wasn't super sure that she knew which one he was. "Oh, what does Valen have you kids calling me when you all sit around telling stories about me? Gran? Gran-gran? Granny Cas? Cantankerous old geezer better be telling stories about me, can't have my grandbabies growing up without any excitement in their lives." She paused thoughtfully. "You know, other than all the mushrooms and shit."

His suspicions were confirmed when the ghost called him grandson. Valentine had been telling stories about Cascade and Somnium for years. Naturally Jupiter hadn't believed him, but the moment he'd laid eyes on Cascade all the pieces had come together. He didn't know what to say and for a brief moment his mouth half formed words but no sound came out. At last he managed an ineloquent, "what the shit?" while looking her up and down.

...Was he dead? Oh fucking shit no, someone had stomped his shrooms when he wasn't looking. Fuck.

"Uhhm," he squinted and tried to focus. "Grandma, I think? Mostly he just calls you Cas." It didn't seem quite relevant enough to share how Valentine seemed to be averse to anything that might make him sound old when Jupiter was growing up. Hell, even now he couldn't remember having heard the man refer to himself as anyone's grandfather.

He cleared his throat and tried to tamp down his paranoia and fear with a little friendly sarcasm. As one did as an Imperialis. "It's Jupiter, by the way, and uh," he glanced around, "these mushrooms, are linked to my heartbeat, apparently. Crazy fuckin' world, eh? You've missed out."

Cascade nodded in satisfaction. Ok, she could work with that. As long as he was telling stories about her, 'just Cas' was just peachy. His kids' kids needed a bad influence after all of that nasty good influencing his Rhythm had been doing over the years. She 'bent' to look at the mushrooms more closely when her Jupiter started to explain them. "Sounds crazy, but probably not any crazier than me coming back as a ghost, and that obviously happened so who am I to judge your heart mushrooms? But hey, maybe you should put them in a more ah... impregnable sort of box or jar or something instead of a board? I mean if I had feet I might have accidentally tripped and murdered you by now and you seem way too much fun to accidentally murder." It did make one wonder all over again just what in the fuck was going on in the world that someone as obviously and incontroversially dead as she knew herself to be could just be wandering around willynilly.

Firefly Shoppe- Jupiter

It comes for us all... but you are safe... for now.

Your attention blurs and refocuses. It feels as if you are in a dream as you find yourself alone in the mist. Fireflies gather and light the way to a table with a figure waiting behind it. On the table lay three items, with their prices beside them. "Choose w̶̢̧͉̥̻̟͈͙̽̉̆̿̈͒͋̓̇̍͌̇̎͠͝ì̵̢̝̄͐́͆̓̚ṣ̶̛͙̟͎̤̞̤͎̹̙̭̪͔̓̐̾̂͆̄͆͌̈̈́̏̚͜͝͠ȩ̴͔̱̗̜̾̉̀̓̀͆͛̊̂̍̕̚̚̚ͅl̵̢̦̲̼̠̖̜̺̮̜̺͋̈́y̴̧̨̧̪̗̥̘͇̾͑͗͜͠, and only choose o̷͕̭̊̃̌̊̏̀ņ̸̼͚͉͔̒͐̊e̵̮̯͛̔̀̑͜," the figure says, looming over the table as his eyes seem to peer into your soul. Are they... moving? "If you can afford it, that is. Beware, however, for there are many d̷̡̯͉̎̊̈́͐͠á̴̬̪̣̝̞̅̀̈́̄ṉ̸̢̠̤̹̥̙̜͋͆̚g̷̛͍̹̣̬̙͖̝̘̃̈e̷͓͕̖͓̝̤̿͐͐͜͠ŗ̵̤͚͔̟̹̳̽̒͝ş̸̛͓͔̩̥̦͛̊̈̾̐̒̓ ̴̺͔̃̇̆ahead." He does not seem like he's in the negotiating mood...


I̵̜̖͎͓͒̑̕n̸͓̗̘̫͉̗̻͐̔̿̊͆̋͝v̵̦̹̠͉̖̼̮̎̌͆ȩ̸͕̦͔̳̩̈́͜n̶͍̝̙̯̣̹̫̩͋t̶̟͈̟̲̜̙̣̋̿̓̆̅͊͝͝ŏ̶̼͊r̶̖͎̙͔̥͎͙͈̊̍͝͠y̴̧͔̭͒͆̉̕͝:

• Firefly Fone- 1 /
  It’s actually just a bunch of fireflies in the shape of a phone. Use it in any thread (and post in Maintenance) to summon the Firefly Shoppe to your location.
  
• Coupon- 1 /
  Looks like a regular voucher but it glows. Apparently it’s good for one bonus purchase next time the Firefly Shoppe is nearby.
  
• Grow Potion- 1 /
  This bottle is shaped like an upside down pear and within it swirls a sparkly gold liquid. The label shows a crudely drawn image of two wolves of vastly different sizes, with a green checkmark over the largest one.
  

Cascade

You are allowed to temporarily exist again, that in itself should be enough for you...

Jupiter blinked as the world dipped out of focus. He sidestepped the cloud of fireflies suspiciously and then when it became clear they had a purpose in mind he followed them. The bugs led him to a table behind which a unforgettable figure stood. Jupiter brightened. "Hey, hey, Firefly King, long time no see." He leaned over the table and looked at what all was being offered. Only one? Damn, that was a shame. He'd have made off with the whole lot if that was an option. "I'll take that growth potion there and if you feel like parting with some of this other stuff later," he winked, "I'm your man."

Firefly Shoppe- Jupiter

The potion is handed swiftly to Jupiter, though the figure's eyes seem to gleam with annoyance. "I said One. Item. Only," he repeats, his voice low and booming, seeming to come from every direction at once, shaking Jupiter to the core. But he reacts no further, swiftly taking his items and departing as quickly as he arrived.


You gain:

• Growth Potion- This bottle is shaped like an upside down pear and within it swirls a sparkly gold liquid. The label shows a crudely drawn image of two wolves of vastly different sizes, with a green checkmark over the largest one.
  

You lose:

• Currency (1x)- Used in Firefly's Shoppe, and perhaps elsewhere...
  
  

Jupiter held up his paw and waved it as the cloaked hive loomed closer. "Whoa buddy, alright, I get it. I'm just saying is all. One trader to another, ya know?" Anyway... He took the bottle in his paw and looked it over. To be honest it looked like it wasn't going to taste very good, but, he told himself, that would be a small price to pay if the liquid did what it said it did...

After steeling himself Jupiter clutched the bottle between his teeth and threw back his head causing the liquid to empty into his mouth.

Size Matters

But what if it's in the wrong place?

You drink the bottle dry and feel a warmth spread over you... you feel a pulsating, swelling feeling as something on your rear grows. It's just your tail... dang.

You gain:

• Inches- 2 inches added onto your... tail, that's right!