Asla had left Tira with Ocean, Chrystelle and the band and had taken Arcturus out for a bit of one on one time. The boy had been sullen since the death of his father and who could blame him? Aslatiel hadn't exactly been a ray of sunshine herself, but she tried for her children. The death of Naiche ate at her and she could still taste his blood on her tongue in her dreams. Both she and Arc needed a pick me up, so she packed a few supplies into a satchel and bid the boy to follow.

Away from the Gulley they went, winding their way down to a big river that was joined by many others, all of which ran out into the sea. Nearing the water's edge, Asla shrugged out of the pack and padded in up to her ankles to wet her tongue. Water droplets clung to her chin and whiskers as she turned to the boy with a grin. "Let's do some fishing, shall we?" The fae's galactic gaze twinkled and her eyes crinkled at the corners. She would try to lighten the boys spirits if she could. If not, perhaps they could just have a long talk and she could try to ease his mind.

"Aslatiel Indarra"

Arcturus didn't really ask what his mother had in mind or where she was taking him when she had him follow her away from the Fern Gulley, he just got up and followed. He had been keeping mostly to himself ever since his father was killed, but that had been even more true once they left the Armada and the only thing he really had to distract himself was the occasional hunt. Even Tira had been going out on her own more now that they had passed their first birthdays and were more free to roam. At first he tried using a bit of that freedom as well, but he never ended up going far and then he just gave up on it all together. When they first moved out on their own with Ocean and Chrystelle he had tried to lean into the idea of a fresh start and let that be a distraction and a point of hope for a while, but he just kept slipping back into a tired, sleepless hole.

He was quiet as they walked out to the large river that flowed near by and stood near the shore while his mother got a drink. When she looked back at him with a grin and offered to do some fishing he gave her a small smile in return and nodded, replying, "Sure, Momma." He stepped up to the edge of the water and sat back on his haunches while he waited for his mom to get the supplies she brought out of her satchel. "I'm sure everyone would like some fish for dinner." Hunting was one of the few things he still found some enjoyment in since it was at least something he could do to help out the wolves that he felt like he was just being a burden on otherwise and it was a good way to pass time.

"Arcturus Fatalis"

As she handed the boy his end of the net, Asla ruffled the mane atop his head with her chin then placed a kiss upon his cheek. The grey and cream fae tried to keep a smile on around her children as much as possible. Not a fake smile, mind you, but a hopeful smile. They both needed to perk up. The mourning period had lasted longer than usual, though she wouldn't rush the boy. Everyone grieved at their own rate.

"You stay on this side, okay? I'll go across and we can walk the net upstream. Hopefully we catch something." Asla had chosen a pinch in the river where the banks weren't terribly far apart. A couple minutes of cutting through the current and she was on the other side with her side of the net still clutched between her teeth. She nodded to Arc and began to walk along the bank. The weighted rocks at the bottom corners of the net kept the trap hanging down through the water and the crimped edges created a little pocket to trap fish in.

"Aslatiel Indarra"

Arc chuckled softly and smiled a little more as his mother ruffled his mane and he nodded in agreement as she said that he would stay on this side and she'd go to the other so they could walk the net up the stream. He nearly volunteered to go to the opposite side instead since he was taller with longer legs, but before he could say anything she was already off across the narrow point in the river while holding the opposite end of the net. Well, at least he wouldn't have to worry about getting his mane wet yet. The longer and thicker it became the more of a pain it was to get it dry. Once she was on the other side he got up and started following her lead as they walked along the river together with the net stretched between them. He watched her pace to make sure he matched her, combing through the water with the net and hopefully scooping up some fish along the way.

He tried to peek down through the water as they went to see if anything was getting hung in the pocket of the net, but it was hard to see through the bubbling, rushing water that was occasionally like rapids and too rough for him to see anything past the surface. The net did start to feel heavier eventually and more difficult to pull so he had to guess that they were at least catching something. He waited for them to get to another narrow point in the river and for his mother to give him a signal to stop. Once she did he acted as a bit of an anchor on his side of the river, holding tight to the net while she brought her corner back over and when she neared the bank he reached out to take the corner of the net from her holding both sides firmly while she got back onto shore.

"Arcturus Fatalis"

In time, the net became rather heavy. A little too heavy to pull easily, so Asla decided that they'd either caught quite a few fish or they'd caught a really big branch. Either way, they needed to empty the net. Asla made her way back across the river, ducking under the water to grab the lower end of the net between her teeth as well to create a sort of pocket. Once back on the bank, Arc helped her to pull the netting up and onto dry land. Once she was sure that the fish wouldn't go sliding back into the water, the fawn colored fae shook out her waterlogged coat, no doubt looking rather silly with her fur sticking up all over the place.

Peeling open the net, Aslatiel grinned at their haul, nudging her son's shoulder. "We did pretty well." There were several larger fish within, a few smaller ones and a turtle. Asla plucked the smaller fish from the net and tossed them back into the water. They would hopefully grow to be large fish that someone could catch later. The turtle was smallish and ducked into its shell when the woman picked it up. Holding it out to Arc, she asked, "Do you want this?" If he didn't, she'd toss the turtle back into the water as well. Too much work for too little meat, in her opinion.

"Aslatiel Indarra"

Arcturus pulled the net back onto the shore with his mother, revealing their catch as they opened up the net on the grass away from the water. He examined the fish they caught, some larger than others, along with one rouge turtle that got swept up with its water dwelling brethren. He looked down to Asla as she nudged his shoulder and seeing her grin made one of his own pull at his lips. "Yeah, we did," he agreed with a nod as he looked back to the fish that remained in the net. She started throwing back some of the smaller ones that wouldn't be as good to eat and still had some growing to do, just leaving the larger ones that would make for a good meal for their group. A weird thought crossed his mind of how nice it must be to just get tossed back into the water, left alone to grow at their own pace until they were actually ready for their intended purpose. Fish didn't have any expectations or pressures to do anything but survive and he wondered what that kind of existence was like.

His mother asked him if he wanted something and he blinked, bringing his gaze back to her as he realized how his thoughts had drifted off. He looked down at the turtle at her paws and figured out what she was asking after a moment. "Oh, no, it can go back," he told her with a little shake of his head. He carefully scooped up the turtle with one paw, reaching over to place it at the edge of the water. It quickly shimmied into the water and then disappeared with fast paddles of its feet. Arc watched it go for a moment before he looked back to his mom, feeling like he should say something or ask something, but also not really knowing what to say. "I... Um..." he started to say before quickly abandoning whatever words hung on his lips and looking down at the fish in front of them. "I guess we should get these back to the others, huh? Fish is always better when its fresh I think." He was supposed to protect his mom and his sister—not burden them more. It seemed like that's all he was really able to do these days though and he hated it.

"Arcturus Indarra"

Arcturus chose to release the turtle even though Asla had been told that they tasted decent. It didn't matter to her. The turtle had been small. The fish would more than make up for the lack of a single turtle. Asla was already making plans for the fish. A way to preserve the entire haul.

One grey ear perked as Arc suggested they go back. Aslatiel gave her head a shake. "Nope," she still didn't look at her boy as she worked with securing the fish. "We're going to dry these over a fire. They'll last longer." Already the fawn and grey fae was busy gutting and fileting the fish, placing the filets in a wooden container that she'd brought in her pack. Some were larger and some were smaller, but they would all dry the same if they hung them at proper heights above the flames.

Now Asla looked to her golden child. "Will you start collecting wood?" Both ears swiveled forward as she asked. "We'll need a lot. We're going to be here all night." They had a great deal to talk about. She had noted how solemn and withdrawn the boy was. They were going to get to the bottom of it. Neither she nor Naiche wanted him to spend his life sad and grieving.

"Aslatiel Indarra"

Arcturus' subtle attempt to head back so he could slip away from his mother before he said something he'd regret failed as she forged on, telling him that they would dry the fish over a fire first instead. Logically it made sense and it was a method he wasn't very familiar with so at least part of him was eager to learn, but internally he was having a hard time just maintaining an easy, neutral expression. "Okay, sounds good," he replied though he wasn't sure if he meant it. At least he'd have a task to focus on and once it was done they could head back, but then she followed that up with a request to gather lots of firewood since they would be here all night. She looked up at him so he gave her a little smile and nodded. "All night huh? Sure, I'll get the firewood," he told her as he got to his paws and started to walk off toward the trees, always careful to keep his expression in place while she could see him.

Once he was was out of sight though his shoulders slumped a bit and he sighed as he went about finding limbs to gather for their fire. Sometimes it was exhausting to keep his mood up and meet the expectations he felt like his family had of him. He knew that there was a lot less pressures out here than there would have been if they had stayed in the Armada, but it still felt like he couldn't really fully process what he was feeling because doing so would tear him apart entirely and what good would he be to them then? He quietly and quickly gathered up a pretty sizable pile of wood, at least large enough to get the fire started, and after taking a beat to collect himself again he gathered as much of it as he could carry in one go and walked back to where his mother was waiting with the fish. He sat it down and trotted back to where he had been gathering to get the rest before he started to set the pieces into a neat pile to make a campfire. It was something that he had done pretty often with the rest of the group so it was a simple task he could put his mind to. Once it was all in place he took a little step back, looking to his mother so she could get the fire started.

"Arcturus Indarra"

Aslatiel was incredibly observant. Though he tried to hide it, she had noted the despondency in her son for quite some time. The fawn and grey fae thought that perhaps he would be able to deal with the depression and sadness himself, but he hadn't been able to. She'd given him a chance, now it was time for her to step in. Never had Asla ever discouraged her children from speaking with her about anything. Quite the opposite, in fact. There was no subject that Asla wouldn't discuss with her pups. She tried to be open and honest with them in the hopes that they would be open and honest with her. As she tried to sort out the situation in her mind, the end that she always came to was that... perhaps Arcturus thought that he was saving them from worry by acting like everything was okay.

Once the wood was collected and the fire was crackling merrily along, Asla sat down and began gutting the fish, leaving their innards on a big chunk of bark that she would eventually throw into the river. Long sticks with spiked ends were used to skewer the fish and the woman made quick work of setting them up over the fire. They would dry out and would last much longer than a fresh fish.

After washing her paws off in the water with a bit of soap that she'd brought along, Aslatiel made her way back to the fire and lay down beside her boy. One paw raised and she gently pulled her claws through the bangs of his mane. There was a smile on the woman's face, but it was a little wisftul. "You and your sister are almost grown," she commented with a shake of her head. Where had the time gone. "I know that you haven't had a standard upbringing and I know that it's been particularly hard on you without having your dad around," They both felt Naiche's loss to this day. Asla's foreleg slid around her son's shoulders and she pulled him close, placing a kiss upon his brow. "You can tell me anything, Arc. I see how sad you are no matter how hard you try to hide it." One paw brushed her son's cheek and she brought his gaze to meet hers. "Talk to me."

"Aslatiel Indarra"

For a while there was just quiet with the background noise of the crackling fire while he helped his mother with prepping the fish to be dried, laying out the fish for her as she gutted them and helping with getting them onto sticks so that they could begin drying by the fire. He always liked having something to keep his paws busy, but especially so right now when he was looking for a distraction. He could see everyone around him moving on, living their lives, and he was starting to feel like he was falling behind. He felt like he was struggling to keep up and bottled up every emotion out of a fear of dragging any of them back down with him. He had almost settled back down into as close to a neutral state as he could be as he laid by the fire and his mother went off to wash her paws. He let out a long, slow sigh while she was gone, watching the fire dance and the small embers that floated off from it.

He didn't immediately look toward his mom as she came back and laid beside him, but when he felt her paw reach up and comb through the long hairs at the beginning of his mane he shifted his sapphire gaze down toward her with a bit of trepidation. His gray ears flicked and something between a chuckle and a scoff escaped him when she mentioned how he and Tara were almost grown, his eyes shifting back down to look at his own paws. Physically he had certainly gone through quite the growth spurt over the last couple of seasons. He was still a good ways off from matching his uncle, but he was much taller than his mother or Tira and he was taller than he remembered his father being. He didn't really feel like he had gotten anywhere close to being grown in any other way though. Mentally, emotionally... He felt like nothing had really changed.

He felt his mother's foreleg stretch up around his shoulders and that chipped away at the armor he had built up as she talked about his unconventional upbringing and his father's absence being particularly hard. He desperately tried to maintain his composure, his expression not changing much with the exception of his ears falling back against his head when she kissed his forehead. Her telling him that she could see how sad he was despite all his efforts to hide it hurt. It felt like all of the struggling he had been going through on his own had been for nothing and now here he was, no better than he had been and nothing to show for it. Her paw brushed his cheek and forced him to turn his gaze back toward hers while his eyes stung with unshed tears that he was trying to avoid. His throat felt tight and thick with emotion as she told him to talk to her, unlatching that last lock that he had been keeping held back for so long.

Arc hesitated for a moment before he finally gave in and laid his head down, hunching down to be able to fit more or less in her embrace with his head up against her chest and across her other foreleg that wasn't around his shoulders. She might be much smaller than him now, but in that moment he felt like the tiny pup that she used to carry in a basket. It was hard for him to find any words for a few moments as tears started to cloud his vision, all of the emotions and thoughts he had been hiding starting to come to the surface. "He's just... gone," he said softly, having to swallow past the lump in his throat to speak. "Like... Yeah, Mojito isn't really around and that sucks, but... It's possible to see him. I know you don't like grandpa, but... It's possible to see him. Dad... Dad is gone and... and it's my fault." His voice grew rough and broken the longer he spoke until the tears finally caught up with him and started spilling over his cheeks in quiet sobs. "I couldn't do anything! I-I just... I just had to stand there and... and then he was just gone!" He pressed his face into his mother's chest as if that could save him from the onslaught of overwhelming emotions, finally letting out everything he had been holding back.

"Arcturus Indarra"

Aslatiel could see just how much the boy was hurting. She could see that he was holding so much back and imagined that it was for the same reasons that she had when she was his age. No one wanted to be a burden on anyone else and it was easy to try and bottle things up inside, but in the end, it wasn't worth it. Arcturus repositioned himself, his head against her grey chest and she held her son tightly to her. When he began to speak, sharing his sadness with her, she placed her cheek atop his head.

What Arcturus said made the woman's heart clench tightly in her chest. He still clung to the memory of Naiche. The paw wrapped around him gently stroke the boy's back comfortingly. Arc continued saying that his father's death was his fault and that he couldn't do anything to help. Asla gave the boy a squeeze, her cheek still resting gently on top of his head as he cried against her chest. "My sweet boy," she whispered softly, letting him release the sorrow that he'd been keeping to himself. Asla had doubts about how she'd handled the situation. Had she prompted him to speak to her sooner, would it have been this bad?

"Arc, your father passing was not your fault, understand?" The woman continued to gently stroke her son's golden fur comfortingly as she spoke, trying to reassure him as best as she could. "It is a parents duty to protect their children. Your father protected you just as I protected Satira from that snake so long ago." A sigh pulled from the woman and her brows drew together. "He was just outmatched. You were just a pup, had you tried to intervene and died alongside him, then his death would have been for nothing." Voice still soft, Asla kissed her son's crown. "It's an honor for a warrior to die protecting those that you love."

Tears had sprung to the woman's galactic gaze and Asla lifted her head, taking her paw away for a moment to wipe them away. "Your father loved you so much that he protected you without thought for his own safety. He was a good, good father, Arcturus." The fawn and grey fae nuzzled the top of the boys crown. "I miss him too. Every day. I try to remember the good times though so that I can honor his memory." She gave the boy another gentle squeeze. "He wouldn't want either of us to be unhappy, love. He would want you to live the absolute best life that you possibly could. He would want you to find happiness, to work hard and to make him proud." Again Asla wiped the tears from her plum colored eyes. "I am so proud of you, Arcturus and I know that Naiche would be as well."

"Aslatiel Indarra"

Even if it was words that were hard for him to hear or believe, he still listened to everything his mother told him while she comforted him and let him get out all of the hurt and sorrow that had weighed on him so heavily for so long. It was difficult for him to believe that there was really nothing more he could have done to help prevent his father's death, but it was also difficult for him to remember just how young and little he had been at the time. When he was a pup he had felt invincible, like he could conquer the world if he had wanted to, and that had all crashed down around him in an instant. He didn't wish that he had died and he didn't want his father's death to be in vain, but he desperately wished there was more he could have done, some way he could have intervened. He just wanted his dad back, not a warrior's honor.

If there was anything that he could agree with while he was sobbing into her chest it was that he was the best father he could have asked for and that he missed him deeply. He knew she was right that his dad would just want them to be happy and make him proud. It was all his dad had ever really wanted while he was alive too. It was just so hard when there was such a big gap in his life that was impossible to fix. Still, as she reminded him of what his father would have wanted for him it did just prove to him that all of his efforts to make himself appear like he was meeting those goals had failed. When she told him how proud she was of him it made a pang of guilt hit him, making him feel like a sham. He knew it was all well intentioned, but he didn't feel like he had done anything worthy of her pride and certainly nothing that his father would have been proud of. The only thing his father had asked of him was to take care of his family and he knew he had done a poor job of that.

He sniffled and breathed in small hiccups as he tried to pull himself together, though he didn't lift his head from her chest right away. He knew he had to do better. He couldn't keep living like this and he didn't want to—especially not now when he knew he had been found out. He thought about Tira and how she had asked him to try, how she had wanted her brother back, and he knew he had failed her too. He eventually got his tears under control with a good bit of effort and lifted his head, rubbing his eyes and cheeks with his paw as he blinked his eyes open to look at her. "I'm sorry, momma," he said softly, ashamed of himself for letting himself get so bad and being too blinded by his own grief to see it. "I'm going to do better. I know you're right... I know it's what dad would have wanted, it's just... It's so hard." He sighed and looked down at their paws, curling one of his paws around hers. "I want to deserve you being proud of me. I don't want you do just be proud of me because I'm your son."

"Arcturus Indarra"

Asla held her giant son as he cried, releasing the pent up emotions that he'd been trying to hide away from the world since his father died. The woman soothed him, stroking the boys thick mane as he sobbed against her grey chest. "It's okay, love," she whispered here and there, ready to give him as much time as he needed to work through the thoughts and feeling plaguing him. He'd lost his father and, by taking him and his sister from the Armada, had lost the rest of his family as well. Once more, Asla was forced to wonder if she'd made the right decision for her small family.

In time, Arc's sobs subsided to gasping breaths and shudders as he fought to regain himself. Still. Asla held him, stroking his mane with one paw. She would hold him forever if he needed it. Her golden child eventually lifted his head and apologized, telling her that he would do better. "You don't need to apologize, love. Feeling what you're feeling isn't wrong or bad. You just don't have to feel it on your own, okay?" The paw that had been stroking his man shifted to the boys cheek, cupping it gently. "I will always be here for you. You never have to go through anything alone." And she meant it. Though he and his sister were almost two years old, adults in the wolven world, they would always be her children, her babies, and she would always, always be there for them.

Arc took one of Asla's smaller paws in his own and held it as he spoke about her pride. "I am proud of you because you're my son," she agreed with him, then continued, "but I am proud of you for being the wolf that you are. For being able to feel so deeply. For sharing those feelings with me and for realizing that you can't continue on the course that you're on. That takes strength and determination and I am so very proud that you have both." Leaning forward, the tawny face placed a kiss upon the top of her son's muzzle. "Your father had more strength and determination than any other wolf I've ever known and you are very much his son." Again she kissed his muzzle. "So try to give your mom a smile. And if you're feeling low like this again, promise me that you'll talk to me about it, okay?" She wanted nothing but the best for her children and she would support them in every possible way that she could for as long as she could.

"Aslatiel Indarra"