The Sound of Silence
Bowen
10-24-2022, 11:48 AM
Asheila had grown comfortable to Bowen's presence inside their room and it was really helping her just to realize that she wasn't alone and that her sister was there. Before Bowen came back she had a number of nights that she would wake up not thinking she was in the castle and that seemed to be the hardest transition for her since she was back home. Bowen was fixing that with little or all effort.
She was pressed barely against her sister back to back, just enough to know she was there and she was sleeping soundly through the night. She hadn't had any issues since her and Bowen were sharing the room together. But tonight would prove to be different. She was after all not taking the steps she desperately wanted to be better, to leave the castle, to move on with her life beside her siblings who all seemed to have their place here in The Hallows. She didn't feel the same. As much as they were understanding and letting her take all the time she needed and helping her, she did feel like a burden. Maybe it was just reminiscent of what she had gone through. She was degraded and belittled, and that seemed to move in with her here as much as what she felt wasn't true.
In a split second she was awake, this feeling like there was a million noises around her snapped into a reality of near silence when she woke taking a quick breath out of her. She wasn't panicked, or shaking or anything but it was a drastic physical change from when she was sleeping to now. She had laid there for a moment, finally looking back over her shoulder at Bowen who may or may not have sensed that change in her in her. It took her another moment after staring at the wall and bringing back the more natural sounds of the nightly insects and distant ocean into her mind. And then she finally rolled as carefully as she could to stand and make her way quietly towards the balcony. She wasn't sure if she would go back to sleep or not, but she didn't want to make too much of a ruckus to wake up her sister.
"Ashelia Carpathius"
She was pressed barely against her sister back to back, just enough to know she was there and she was sleeping soundly through the night. She hadn't had any issues since her and Bowen were sharing the room together. But tonight would prove to be different. She was after all not taking the steps she desperately wanted to be better, to leave the castle, to move on with her life beside her siblings who all seemed to have their place here in The Hallows. She didn't feel the same. As much as they were understanding and letting her take all the time she needed and helping her, she did feel like a burden. Maybe it was just reminiscent of what she had gone through. She was degraded and belittled, and that seemed to move in with her here as much as what she felt wasn't true.
In a split second she was awake, this feeling like there was a million noises around her snapped into a reality of near silence when she woke taking a quick breath out of her. She wasn't panicked, or shaking or anything but it was a drastic physical change from when she was sleeping to now. She had laid there for a moment, finally looking back over her shoulder at Bowen who may or may not have sensed that change in her in her. It took her another moment after staring at the wall and bringing back the more natural sounds of the nightly insects and distant ocean into her mind. And then she finally rolled as carefully as she could to stand and make her way quietly towards the balcony. She wasn't sure if she would go back to sleep or not, but she didn't want to make too much of a ruckus to wake up her sister.
10-25-2022, 09:18 PM
It had been easy for Bowen to have Ash as her roommate. Neither of them liked being alone and they definitely weren't strangers by any means. It was a comfortable arrangement. For Bowen, at least. She couldn't quite tell what Ash was thinking a lot of the time. The woman was as sullen and introspective as Bo had been when she'd returned home. They still hadn't discussed where Asheila had been, nor had they discussed where Bowen had been, but Bo was patient. It would come when Ash was ready and not a moment before.
Bowen had been a bit restless when she and Ash had gone to bed and it had taken her a while to fall asleep. It seemed as though she had just closed her eyes when she felt her sister stir beside her. A stretch pulled from Bowen followed by a yawn. Lifting her head, she watched as Ash padded out onto the balcony. Bo looked after her sister for a moment before sliding out of bed and moving out onto the stones beside her.
"Everything okay?" Another yawn tugged at her, but she was quickly pushing sleep away, worried instead for Ash's well being. As she waited for some sort of response, the smaller woman looked out over the undulating sea below.
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10-26-2022, 06:43 PM
She could hear Bowen get up soon after she had and a quick feeling of regret washed over her for moving at all. But she felt in her heart that Bowen didn't mind. Why else would she had joined her on the balcony?
She wasn't so quick to respond, that etching anxiety from the first day she was reunited with Bowen had dwindled down to nearly nothing. Maybe it was the time they had spent together at night, or maybe she was really coming around now. "I didn't mean to wake you." The silent apology, it was true. She didn't want her siblings worrying about her, she tried her best to keep it all at bay but it seemed that was getting her nowhere. Maybe she'd never be ready to fully tell her story though the assumptions by her mother and Kane could give them a glimpse. Not everyone was there.
She took another moment, a deep breath, focusing on the sounds of the shores as she gathered her thoughts. There wasn't an easy way to start, so she wouldn't. "I forget I'm back in the castle sometimes." Her paw softly reached up around her throat where the ropes were tied around her once before, there were no remnants luckily. Nothing she was forced to look at in her reflection. She glanced over at her sister as if she was lost in some kind of memory, and brought back to their reality, "I think sharing the room with you has helped."
"Ashelia Carpathius"
She wasn't so quick to respond, that etching anxiety from the first day she was reunited with Bowen had dwindled down to nearly nothing. Maybe it was the time they had spent together at night, or maybe she was really coming around now. "I didn't mean to wake you." The silent apology, it was true. She didn't want her siblings worrying about her, she tried her best to keep it all at bay but it seemed that was getting her nowhere. Maybe she'd never be ready to fully tell her story though the assumptions by her mother and Kane could give them a glimpse. Not everyone was there.
She took another moment, a deep breath, focusing on the sounds of the shores as she gathered her thoughts. There wasn't an easy way to start, so she wouldn't. "I forget I'm back in the castle sometimes." Her paw softly reached up around her throat where the ropes were tied around her once before, there were no remnants luckily. Nothing she was forced to look at in her reflection. She glanced over at her sister as if she was lost in some kind of memory, and brought back to their reality, "I think sharing the room with you has helped."
11-07-2022, 05:07 PM
Ash spoke apologetic words and Bowen gave her head a shake. "Don't worry. I used to wake up a lot when I first came back." She'd had nightmares. Nightmares of their mother chastising her and telling her that she was a disgrace for being so weak. That, coupled with the affect that she was having on Artorias had sent her away from home again. Now here she was, Bowen reborn. She hoped that Ash might be able to do the same some day.
Her sister spoke again and it was almost as though Bowen was listening to herself speak. She'd also forgotten where she was many times upon returning. "I'll always be here for you, Ash. If you wake up and you're anxious or you can't sleep, I'm right beside you." The smaller fae leaned gently into her sisters side and wrapped one sable foreleg around Ash's grey foreleg. "Don't ever worry about waking me up or about bothering me. If you need me, I'm there, okay?"
"Sharing a room with you has helped me too. I'm not good with people alone. My mind doesn't shut off. I feel uncomfortable. Having you with me, it helps me sleep. Comforts me." With a grin, Bowen placed a kiss upon Ash's cheek, leaning up to place it there. "So thanks for being my roommate."
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11-29-2022, 10:24 PM
Just being reassured by Bowen made her feel better, even if she felt like she didn't deserve it. Or maybe she did. She knew her family was here for her, she knew she'd work over the emotional trauma as time went on. It was just hard to really see herself in the right place this early in her return. She just wanted to blend in, hide her emotions, keep it all to herself. Not burden her family. She knew she'd have to open up eventually. They understood and would have without any explanation, but she knew at some point it would come out.
She leaned into her sister as she did and looked down to where she grasped around her foreleg placing her own paw gently on top, "Thank you Bowen." It was easy for her to accept the subtle affections from her sister. She paused just a moment as Bowen continued, not knowing the history that was held behind her either. "I'm glad we feel the same, and that you can understand."
Her gaze rose back up past the castle plains and out to the waves of the ocean, quiet but still sound as near silent as the castle was. Just the sound of them breathing for that moment. "I held onto all of those silly little memories of the falls and when we first moved here and how new and exciting everything was." She smiled for just that few seconds, but it faded just a bit as she was caught up in her thoughts. "I'd look up at the skies at night and imagine that any of you were on the other side thinking of me too." She didn't know if it was true and no one had to say it was or lie to say so. But it was what kept her holding on and what eventually led her to escaping. Because she never gave up on the ones she loved, she knew she had to make it back here some day. "The woman, she was uh... not much different actually." Different than the men that was. She glanced over at Bowen just for a second as she did open up this piece to her. It felt natural, but she was still a little uncomfortable bringing it up and working through it. "But there were a few things she did that were good. She was the closest thing I had to a friend in those moments." But she wasn't a friend and even while captive she had always known that. They hadn't broken her the way some captives would have. She was strong, maybe it was just built into her.
"Ashelia Carpathius"
She leaned into her sister as she did and looked down to where she grasped around her foreleg placing her own paw gently on top, "Thank you Bowen." It was easy for her to accept the subtle affections from her sister. She paused just a moment as Bowen continued, not knowing the history that was held behind her either. "I'm glad we feel the same, and that you can understand."
Her gaze rose back up past the castle plains and out to the waves of the ocean, quiet but still sound as near silent as the castle was. Just the sound of them breathing for that moment. "I held onto all of those silly little memories of the falls and when we first moved here and how new and exciting everything was." She smiled for just that few seconds, but it faded just a bit as she was caught up in her thoughts. "I'd look up at the skies at night and imagine that any of you were on the other side thinking of me too." She didn't know if it was true and no one had to say it was or lie to say so. But it was what kept her holding on and what eventually led her to escaping. Because she never gave up on the ones she loved, she knew she had to make it back here some day. "The woman, she was uh... not much different actually." Different than the men that was. She glanced over at Bowen just for a second as she did open up this piece to her. It felt natural, but she was still a little uncomfortable bringing it up and working through it. "But there were a few things she did that were good. She was the closest thing I had to a friend in those moments." But she wasn't a friend and even while captive she had always known that. They hadn't broken her the way some captives would have. She was strong, maybe it was just built into her.
12-08-2022, 02:50 PM
Bowen grinned, happy that their conversation elicited a smile out of her somewhat somber sister. Ash reminisced of old times, saying that she had thought so much about their time as pups and Bowen could relate. Probably more than any of their siblings, actually. The copper marked fae wanted to tell Ash just why she could understand, but this was her sisters time; not hers. So she merely nodded and waited for Ash to continue.
Ash spoke next of staring at the sky and wondering if the rest of them were looking at them too. Bowen tensed for just a moment, brows furrowing before they smoothed and she continued to listen. That one struck very close to home. Often she had lain awake at night wondering that exact same thing. Wherever she was in the world, she wanted to believe that they could all still stare at the same stars together.
Again the conversation shifted, though this time the segue was a little less smooth. 'The woman' Ash said, prompting Bowen's head to cant slightly to the side in question. Ash continued and the smaller woman's mouth tightened into a hard line for a moment before she sat up on her haunches and pulled her sister into a firm embrace, their chests pressed together. "I'm sorry, Ash," she spoke softly, barely above a whisper. "I'm sorry that we had to go through such hard trials, but I have to believe that it's made us stronger. Nothing can break us now." Ash didn't know of Bowen's time of enslavement, but the caramel fae couldn't help but include them both in her beliefs.
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