Alpine was an asshole. There wasn't really any other way to put it, and he was to honest to label himself any other way. He strolled in the soft light of night and silver stars and beneath its glow it was easy to recall everything to mind. He remembered the first encounter on the crystal cliffs, when he had faced his fear of heights and met the beauty he had come to know as Lyric. He had even joined Valhalla just to be near her! He remembered a few days slipping past without seeing her, and then searching for her, saving her from the tar pits. The build up of his emotions, the fear and worry for her and urged him into approaching Erani. He had admitted to his leader that he loved her daughter, that he wanted to court her. He had taken her once on a stroll, with flower meant for her in his jaw. It had been nice, but he had still been too shy to approach the subject on his mind. All that had been a while ago, and since then he had fallen to an earthquake and been out of commission for a while with the injuries, taken on the duty of training a pup and entered any spar match he could for the experience to better teach Erion. The white brute had felt a connection and protectiveness for any mothers in the pack ripe with child, and he had spent long hours hunting for them and leaving the prey by their dens to ensure they where well feed. He had met Twig... had met her broken and seen her to health. So much had happened in his time within Valhalla that he felt like a different wolf. His insides where changed even as his outer showed little but a small scar upon his brow for these new experiences. In all this time he had seen nothing of Lyric, in fact so busy had he been that he had barely had a thought of her in his mind. He felt it now, felt all of it and the shame trembled his legs and swirled headaches in his mind. He had promised to court her, had taken her out once with the promise of more and had not fulfilled this promise. In this, he had betrayed her, by forgetting her he had unwillingly wronged her and he felt a fool for his actions. He knew that she had barely entered his mind, and so many other wolves had found a place now within his heart, and one, in particular had stood out there and gained priority over all. His friendship with Twig had washed out all his other ties and little golden strand that tied him to Lyric had somehow been washed away without his even noticing. He knew he had to do something, he could not leave her waiting any longer and he could not promise her something he no longer had to give. But how could he explain to her? What could he say? ?I'm sorry Lyric, you didn't even cross my mind, and in forgetting you and breaking all my promises I now have to end things with us before they begin because I can not promise I wont forget again and do not know why you weren't in my mind. Surely if I truly loved you you would have always been in my thoughts, and this commission of memory I can not promise that I love you and can not promise myself to you if I might betray you again here in my memory's? he closed his eyes, fighting back a wave of nausea and hate that he suddenly felt towards himself. He was a fool, a cruel and heartless fool. But he could not be a coward in this, and could not and would not take any more steps in this betrayal he had done to her. His paws had brought her towards her den, but he shivered, and for a moment paused to feel his trembling legs. He wasn't ready! How could he ever be ready, how could he ever find the right words? Feeling raw, and empty, he took the last few steps to her den and barked softly to tell her he was there. So if you love me, let me go. And run away before I know. My heart is just too dark to care. I can't destroy what isn't there. "Speech"

She was naive - and so very young. Fallen so quickly for a brute that had just arrived in Alacritia. He hadn't the chance to meet anyone before he had decided to tie himself to her. Not a doubt had crossed the young woman's mind - and at first, it had been like her little slice of heaven! So often before she went out to train with Sarak or her mother, she would be greeted with gifts at the foot of her den. But since the meeting and the quake, she had started to see less of her ivory love. They had both been busy, but she had not expected that he would simply lose interest. It was her own fault, for expecting him to simply love her and for her to do nothing at all in return. It was her own fault for growing complacent and feeling so confident in his feelings for her despite the days that had passed without a word.


But it was alright, because today she would learn.


His voice sounded off, as he called for her outside of her den, and she would pause, wondering what had happened with him. "Alpine?" She would quickly call back before quickly making her way out of her den. The young female would stand before him, her head tilted in question as she silently worried about what was wrong. "Is everything alright?" She would ask, her mismatch eyes looking him over. From what she could see, he seemed fine, physically at least - and she would smile despite her worry, hoping that she could lift his spirits the way that he did hers. He didn't even have to try, just be there, and she was instantly at ease. It was always so good to see him! So... why didn't he look very happy at all? "Did something happen?


With that she would wait, moving to nuzzle the brute just below his muzzle, the very tip of his chin. She wanted him to cheer up - she wanted to tell him how much she had missed him, to ask him what he had been up to. Her training was coming along well, Chrysanthe had even taught her most of her defenses and although she would never be any sort of Gamma she should be able to defend herself and others if she kept at it. But his somber appearance would silence her until he explained what was on his mind. Hopefully she would be able to sooth his thoughts.

He could barely bring himself to look at her, he could feel his shame from head to tail, threatening to drown him its mass of burning regret. She had appeared before him and he could see that innocent joy that took her expression, her beautiful face and the pretty eyes that set upon him, the smile that stole her expression, and his breath both. That smile possibly hurt him more then anything else, that pure joy that touched her features and brought life a new life to her beauty. He almost backed out in that moment, he almost couldn't bring himself to destroy her life. But no, Alpine had to complete his shame by not only forgetting her, by not only breaking his promise to her but now by being the one to teach her the hardest lesson of life, the harshness of reality. He would be destroying her dreams, destroying her... his tail tucked between his legs, his ears flat against his skull. He wanted to be anywhere else but here, anyone else but himself. She would ask him what was wrong, he would wish the ground could swallow him, that a random bear could swag along and tear his sorry hide to shreds. She would move forward, her touch would be gentle against his muzzle, and he could see the worry in her eyes, the way she wanted him to be okay, to be happy. ?Oh Lyric? he said softly, his tone barely above a whisper. He suddenly didn't know how to do it, didn't know what to say. How could he explain himself? He barely knew it himself. He couldn't understand how he had forgotten her, why when he looked at her full of remorse and sadness it was with the emotion one might give a sister who he had to tell a family member had died. He had to do it, he could not leave it unspoken, but could not bear to see that innocence and joy so destroyed by his words, to be the one to do it. ?I...? his mouth ran dry, his words stilling in the air. He what? He couldn't love her any more, he couldn't continue this? God, the temptation to put on fa?ade, to pretend that everything was alright, almost swallowed him. But as ashamed as he felt, he knew she deserved better then a lie. He looked at her, he felt all the clich? words upon his tongue its not you, its me and he steeled himself to speak. ?Lyric, I'm a fool. I dont know how to tell you this, I don't know what to say, but I can honestly and truly tell you that I'm a fool.? He swallowed, feeling a burning sensation behind his eyes, his voice dry and hoarse and uncertain even to his own ears. ?I don't now.. oh, god, Lyric, I don't know how to say this? He truly was a coward, he fought the burning behind his eyes, felt the bloodshot taint that filled his blue orbs, but still he allowed not one tear to break lose. ?I can't.. dammit, Lyric, I cant tie myself to you? there. He said. He cringed, his flat ears pinned even further to his head, as he waited, not for the anger he deserved and yearned for, but for the heartbreak and upset, for the way he would destroy her. "Speech"

He would whisper her name, and she would try and meet his eyes. It would be a moment before he managed to get his words out - words that, for a moment, would strike the girl as unreal. She wasn't sure what he was leading up to at first, calling himself a fool, not knowing how to say it. Say what? What could he have to say to her that she would think any less of him for? That he would feel so badly about that she would forgive him immediately and they would work through together. But when he finally admitted what was on his mind... she couldn't believe it.

He would pull back his ears, waiting for her response, and she... wasn't sure what to say. He didn't want to be tied to her? He didn't... want her anymore? The young female couldn't believe it, every moment that they had spent together she had fallen further and further in love - didn't he feel the same way? "But you love me..." Her first instinct was to argue, to remind him how in love they were, to get him to remember her the way that she thought that he saw her. But... that was only what she thought, she couldn't make him see things the way that she wanted. What she had been taught and told of love would flick through her thoughts. Love was forever - love didn't just stop or go away so he must not have ever loved her.


She couldn't make him love her.


"You don't love me anymore?" She would ask him, pushing the words past her lips and then struggling to swallow. Her throat was suddenly dry and the tears had started fallen sometime after his confession without her consent. "What happened?" She would tentatively ask, not at all demanding an answer from him. The girl had imagined they had a life together, that what they had was unbreakable - but she had been wrong. Where did she go wrong? She was incredibly sorry, she would take back whatever she had done to make him see her differently - she just needed to know what it was first! "I... is it too late to fix it? I can... change." If it was her she would try to make it right - just so that he wouldn't leave her side.

The welling of shame was a constant companion he would keep this night, the feel of self hated and foolishness that overpowered him so easily he could almost forget what a smile felt like across his lips. He had said his peace, and he waited for her response. When it came, it stole his breath away, and he couldn't help it, a silent tear would force through his defences and drip down the length of his muzzle. The swell of pain that embraced was every bit as strong as a true injury, it did not matter that this one could not be seen, this one in his heart. ?But you love Me? she had said, and those four simple words was his betrayal, was how he would break her heart. You don't love me any more? each word was a stab to the heart, he was doing the dumping but he was equally sharing in the breaking. Her words where an accusation, and one he had no defence against. She could see it now, where his words had been leading, what he was trying to tell her. That innocent smile was gone, that innocence was gone.. he hoped to god, oh he hoped to god that Erani killed him for his. He would plead her for her fangs to sink into his neck. She was crying now, and he ached to push them away, to turn this all around and go instead for the fa?ade, the lie. what happened? she asked him now, but he had lost his ability to speech. He could only stare at her, watch all the realisations that fluttered across her eyes, all the pains and tears and breaking, all the lose of innocence and know that he had been the one to destroy her world. This was all on him, all of it. Her next part was the icing on the cake, that she turned this whole thing around and made it all her fault. Oh, gods, he couldn't break, he couldn't think, and for a moment all he could do was fight the tears that threatened to choke him. He knew they would only make matters worse, and hurt her even more. She already thought this was her fault! ?Lyric.. no... Lyric, I'm an ass-hole, I am truly something far worse then an asshole. You are sweet and beautiful and all the things right. I dont know where I went wrong, I dont know what I did, but I'm not the same any more. I'm so different now, that I dont know my own heart any more. I never meant.. oh, god, Lyric, I never meant to lead you on. And.. shit, no, never think you did something wrong, don't ever..? he choked, and couldn't finish his words, he could only look at her, his eyes filled with lose and hopelessness. "Speech"

She couldn't believe it - that he was an asshole, that he had simply changed somewhere down the road and changed his mind about her. He had saved her! They had slept beside each other and he had said that he... that he could never see her in a bad light. Whenever the days ticked by without his appearance she had that to remember, and never had her smile wavered while they were together - or rather, while she had thought that they were together. He had no explanation for her, he couldn't explain what she had done wrong - would only blame himself and she could see his heart breaking in his eyes. Whatever she had done, he had realized his mistake - and now she was hurting him wasn't she? By trying to fix a relationship that was just... gone.


Had she gone and fabricated it? Had she imagined how much he loved her?


"Alpine..." She would fill the silence for a moment, looking down when she could look at him no longer. "You aren't anything less than perfect. I wouldn't be here if it weren't for you." She would take a breath, trying to force down the tears - but they wouldn't stop, even as she tried her best to steel her heart for what could possibly be the first time that she had to. Swallowing, she would dig her toes into the ground, before looking up at him - a smile on her lips despite the tears that shone in her swirled gold and blue eyes. "If you can't stay tied to me, there's just no changing that, right?" She would do her best to sound sincere, to be happy - happy for him, for his decision. He had made the choice, therefore it was right. To her, toward her, he could do no wrong. "Don't worry anymore Alpine," She had asked him what was wrong before he had told her any of this.


She hadn't expected for it to be her.


"You're free." She would close her eyes and smile, a small grin on her face despite the hollow feeling in her chest. He was free to do what he wanted - free to enjoy Valhalla fully, without the weight of another - of her - tugging him back with every step that he took. How long had she been holding him back?


With that, if he had nothing else to say, she would not force him to speak to her anymore. It would take time, but eventually she would find out where she had gone wrong with Alpine, where she had neglected him, why he had not been as happy with her as she was with him. But for now, all she knew - was that love was quite possibly not something meant for her - not when it was so easy for it to be one sided.

He now felt so... tired, so empty. He felt emotionally beaten and exhausted, and as he looked at the wolf before him he felt sick in his stomach for what he was doing. He didn't even understand it himself, she was beautiful and sweet and perfect and he could remember how he had felt for her. Perhaps it was the time, and the distance and all the changes that had overcome him but as he looked at her he knew that well she as still so important to him he was not in love with her. He had never felt so terrible as he did in that moment, knowing that all this was his fault and every bit of pain in her was dealt upon by him. The silence had stretched on, encasing his misery with its awkward implications before she filled the silence with his name. The tears still flowed from her lids, and again he ached to move forward and comfort her, but he knew that his presence was not welcome, that he was the one causing those tears. She seemed to steel herself, and as he watched something different overcame her and he knew that he had now changed her. The forced happiness in her tone broke him as she told him there was no changing. She seemed to have found her words, but he had utterly lost them. What could he say to that? To her? As she accepted it, steeled her heart and spoke words she intended to make it okay for him. for him! but he was the one breaking her. He was a terrible person, a nightmare and a monster, he did not deserve to stay in the sweet pack of Valhalla. Your free she told him and he closed his eyes, he had never felt less free, more grounded, and so utterly heavy with sorrow. ?I'm sorry, Lyric, i'm so sorry at how I've failed you? He couldn't bare it any longer, with a shaking breath he turned and ran, showing himself for the true coward he was. "Speech"