Relm's entire existence was wearing thin. She had moved into the routine of patrols, tucked away in her den, and on the occasion getting out to hunt for the stores. She had lost weight really from her last loss of Alastor's children but over all just her mental health that dwindled down as the days went on. Honestly it was nothing really out of the norm for her, but she was masking heavily what was going on inside. What she was going through was unlike anything she had experienced before. And everything just felt like it kept dragging her under.

She had gone and seen the few wolves that were close to her and that only left... Alastor. Who unsurprisingly she had been avoiding. It was more to give him space than what she had done previously to avoid conflict. Though, it would seem it would drive into that too. And she knew she couldn't put it off any longer.

She waited for him in the main areas of Alias that she had so many times before. Sitting by the paths of the mountain ranges until he came through. Looking right at him and standing when he noticed her. She was decloaked as she had been for a long time now since she didn't have the cloak anymore. Hard to miss, but maybe he wouldn't even need to see her to know she was there. She'd turn to head off the island towards the sound, only stopping to turn her cheek and make sure he would be following after her.

"Relm"

He knew she was going to be there. Of course he knew. The stupid pink woman waited for him in that same fucking spot almost every damned day! And every time Alastor saw her sitting there, just inside of his view and yet also so far out of his reach, she looked worse and worse. She had grown gaunt, withering away like a plant dying in desiccated soil. He wanted to yell and scream at her to take care of herself. He wanted to see her live and thrive in the aftermath of the bridges she had burned between them. Watching her slowly diminish day by day felt like a cruel sort of torture for him. Yes, the usually cold and deranged dire wolf was upset at her, and yes she had wounded him grievously, but that didn't mean he wished this fate on her. Part of him still cared for Relm; perhaps that same part always would. It infuriated him to watch her do this to herself. Alastor had once thought Relm one of the strongest women he knew. Now he just saw her as a pitiful case of self-deprecation.

So of course he saw her again when he walked through the central part of Alias Island today. The pink and ebony woman looked as thin as ever, like a shell of her former self as she sat and watched him. Dark eyes lifted to meet her argent silver gaze briefly, and in that moment a pained look of betrayal and torment twisted in the brute's eyes. This wasn't right. This wasn't the Relm he knew anymore. Alastor had intended to simply walk on by like he had every other day since, the two wolves avoiding interacting with one another for one reason or another. This time, however, Alastor saw Relm pause to look back at him as she stepped away, looking at him with expectant eyes. He looked back at her. Was she wanting him to follow her? The Mendacium wolf watched her as she walked away again, then paused to look back at him once more. Okay, so she wanted him to follow. For what point and purpose? Did she plan on hurting him even more?

Heaving a sigh, Alastor relented and followed behind Relm as she led the way off of Alias Island and onto mainland Boreas. No words were exchanged between the two, a tense and awkward silence filling the gaps between them. He hadn't walked with Relm since the day of her miscarriage—the day she stabbed him in the back and destroyed what he had worked so damned hard to build with her. She led the way north, moving up into the Polar Sound. Still Alastor did not speak nor ask where she was taking him. He simply followed out of idle curiosity, keeping a few paces behind her while he let her lead the way for them.

"Alastor"

As soon as she had known Alastor was following behind her she’d move forward. Not so different from any other time she had silently asked for him to come along. But the tethered tension between them could be cut with a knife. Maybe most of it coming from her. Not for the reasons she was dragging him back out to the sound, but everything before. And reasons? There weren’t really any.

She’d stop on the mountain plains before the rocky cliffs and rough terrain, places they had hunted together before. Pausing, holding a breath. Like she had monuments of things to say to him. Nothing came out. There wasn’t anything to say. Nothing she could tell him more to try and make amends. That’s what she believed at least. She couldn’t keep living the narrative, she knew that. She wouldn’t beg to make things work again, as much as she wanted to turn around and have things back the way they were. She couldn’t silently suffer anymore.

She finally turned to face him, not wasting any more time to step forward and close the distance between them. Not hesitant but there was enough time on his end to pull back from her. There wasn’t much she could do to stop him at least. Her eyes both hot and pleading in a way she wouldn’t feel, her nose reached right up towards his to want to connect their lips in the only way she hoped felt right between them.

"Relm"

Not once did Relm say a single word to him throughout their entire trip up north. Not once did she give him any sort of clue or indication for what she was leading him towards or where she was guiding him to. Eventually they reached a place she deemed suitable, as the pink and ebony woman stopped atop the level cliffs that ran along the edges of the mountains on either side of the sound. Relm still said nothing when she turned around to face him. Alastor saw the pleading desperation in her silver eyes, but also a reluctance and refusal. She was still battling herself in her head and he would continue to be a casualty of her own emotional civil war, it seemed. Alastor would not recoil nor retreat when she began to approach him with slow steps, maybe out of caution or indecision, he couldn't tell. He did not fear her, he did not loathe her, so there was no reason for him to consider doing anything but holding his ground while she slowly closed the space between them.

Once the two wolves were right up on one another, Relm began to tilt her muzzle up towards his. Alastor's breathing caught for a moment, his body going rigid with tension as he tried to assess whether this was some sort of trick or game to her. Obsidian eyes narrowed with suspicion clouding them. Relm's motives had never exactly been clear, but the giant brute had never felt more out of alignment with her than he did in this awful aftermath of their implosion. What sort of repercussions would there be if he kissed her back? How would things collapse if he refused her? Was she merely toying with him or was this her attempt at a wordless apology? There were too many variables, too many unknowns for him to feel confident that he knew the pink fae's desires and motives. And yet... he could not deny that his heart hurt when he looked at her. Alastor had loved Relm. Despite what she might have thought of what they had, Alastor had given her all that he could in their circumstances. He had done everything within his power to love her and give her what she wanted. It was never going to be good enough though...

Alastor would hesitate for only a moment while Relm reached up for him, the conflict apparent in his dark eyes and grimacing features. To her, he would look like he was in pain, and he was. He had given Relm untethered access to his most vulnerable parts and she had struck a grievous blow to his greatest insecurities with that intimate knowledge. He didn't know if he forgave her yet, but he did not want to hurt her more either. So the dire brute leaned his neck down, just enough to allow Relm to connect their mouths in a slow kiss. Alastor did not kiss her back with the same feverish, insatiable fire he had once kissed her with. This was a simpler, slower press of their mouths together, as Alastor showed Relm that he still cared but he was afraid of going too fast and too hot with her. He would not stop her from doing as she wished though, and however she kissed him, Alastor would respond in kind with the same passion. If she held back, he would too. If she let go... well, he'd have to see how far he was willing to trust himself to fall with her again.

"Alastor"

Most of her was afraid that he'd turn her away, but the way she moved into him didn't show that. She wanted to believe he wouldn't, that he wanted her. Not just for the physical, but everything that had built them up before. A deep hidden relief rushed over her when he kissed her back, and she fell into the ways she knew best with him.

It wasn't that the way she moved forward wasn't passionate, but it felt like something completely different than she had shared with him before. She tried to lessen the tension between them but there was still pain. From all that was said and done. She wished they could both forget, she knew that wasn't possible.

She went to raise her paws up around his shoulders, keeping it slow as he didn't take the lead himself. Maybe she could feel the way he nearly held back from her, thinking, deciding. She chose to ignore, try to at least. Gently urging him, swaying him to lay down onto his back. It was the happiest she had felt in a long time. Even if it wasn't completely real.

"Relm"

Alastor knew that this wasn't going to solve anything. Kisses could not staple together the rift that had torn between them, could not take back scathing words and hurt feelings. The physical affections were merely a facade designed to mask the pain and the damage—but dammit, they were working. He felt the relief that relaxed Relm's body as his lips moved against hers, giving her what she craved from him. Perhaps he shouldn't be giving in to her. He knew he was doing both of them no good by relenting to her destructive desires, but he couldn't help himself. No matter how hurt he was, he still loved Relm, more than she likely loved him, more than he should have loved her. He wished he hated her. He wished she hated him too. It would have been far easier that way, and yet here they were, so different and yet so much the same as they'd always been. The dark brute hoped he wasn't hurting Relm more by doing this. The last thing he wanted to do was cause her more suffering than she'd already endured.

Relm's paws moved up to his shoulders while his remained planted on the ground, not yet reaching for her out of fear that the contact might make her shrink away from him or disappear entirely. The pink fae showed no hesitation in taking the lead from him, which was good, since he wasn't about to do it himself—not after what had happened between them. He would not push boundaries or limits anymore. Relm set the pace from here on out. His mouth never left hers, even as she applied a gentle pressure to his shoulders, urging him with insistent force to lie on his back. Again Alastor did not resist her wordless request, leaning his weight back to bring Relm down over top of him with him. His back hit the coarse tundra grasses as he lay sprawled out beneath her, leaving no parts of himself hidden or unexposed to her.

This was when he finally lifted a giant black paw to rest on her slender side, following the feminine curve of her side down to her hip, a touch so intimate and familiar, yet treated like it was their first time. He let Relm continue to take the reins, waiting to see what she had planned for them, although he had a good idea of what was on the younger woman's mind by this point.

"Alastor"

As much as Relm didn't know and how inexperienced she truly was, she knew that what she asked of him wouldn't fix anything. But she wanted this, to forget everything just for these moments as she had known before. Living their own life just the two of them together. She hoped it could be the same that way. That they could get lost in themselves and think of nothing but each other. Time would tell.

There wasn't much more relief she could offer after Alastor had reciprocated into her own affections, but it was still there was he bent more to what she wanted. Not rough and ready like she may have been before, but she still found her place sung on top of him as she kept their lips together and gently hugged around him. Really all she wanted was for him to keep accepting her, to keep loving her through every passing motion. She wanted things the way they were before. It was slower maybe, that hint of what laid behind her and threatened her as much as she pushed it back. She was almost walking on eggs shells even while he seemed so willing to continue on and maybe he could feel it.

Not much time passed as she carefully pushed up against him, fell into what felt like a routine as she wanted to drain every bit of emotion from him in the coming moments. Maybe feeling like this would be her last time feeling this way with him. She was always a different Relm when she was with him, like this or ever. She only pulled back briefly, keeping her nose close to his in a quiet shortness of breath but wanting him to look back at her. To want her, not just right out of pity of everything she had destroyed between them. And only when or if she knew that he wanted it to be true between them would she make that final move to make them whole again. Fully on her own accord and even if it didn't last forever.

"Relm"

Being with Relm like this, in all the ways they had been, had never felt difficult or like a chore. It had come naturally to the giant brute currently sprawled out on his back beneath the svelte pink fae, their lips locked as their bodies entwined and limbs locked in a passionate embrace. The pace Relm set for them was a slow and steady movement, like the flowing of a river, easing their way toward what they both craved. It made Alastor all the more comfortable to melt beneath her touches as she spread herself out across the length and breadth of his larger body. For a moment, it was as if nothing between them had ever changed. He could pretend like there hadn't been a sudden rift tearing apart the unorthodox relationship they had built together or that their delicate emotional state hadn't been shattered like a mirror upon the ground by the loss of another unexpected pregnancy. Relm felt like the same Relm he had come to know so well. Warm, soft, strong and yet feminine. Her touch, her scent, her taste... he could lose himself in all of her again and just pretend everything was still okay. And maybe it would be if they could get past this. Or were they simply overriding the pain and friction with more physical affection and carnal desire?

At this point, Alastor didn't care. He had his Relm back and she very clearly wanted him, as evident from the way she slid her hips back to tease his most intimate parts with her closeness. Their lips parted and Alastor sucked in a gasping breath through gritted teeth, starving for that deeper connection with her. Obsidian black eyes flickered open to peer up at her, gazing deep into her argent pools while she sought something in his own gaze. His eyes reflected that same deep desire, a hungry fire that burned and smoldered the longer he looked up at her, so tantalizingly close and yet so painfully just out of his reach. Even if this was doomed from the start and there was no chance of things ever being right between them again, Alastor wanted to pretend they were, even for just a little while longer.

It seemed as if Relm also wanted this, for not a moment later, Alastor felt Relm's hips shift back to press into his to join their bodies together, pulling a hot hiss of breath from the dire brute that evolved into a low rumbling growl of pleasure from that first exquisite contact of intimate flesh. Ebony lids fluttered over smoldering black eyes, but not once did he look away from Relm. His paws roved over her form, stroking down her sides to rub over her hips, doing nothing to inhibit her while silently encouraging her to continue with what she was doing to him.

"Alastor"

She was not as they just were months ago, but every soft movement, every breath was felt in deep emotion to her. From her and from him. It all felt like a dream that never stopped for these days she believed that Alastor hated her for all that had happened. She was more relieved than she was grateful, but nothing hindered her from going forward. Like everything was meant to be, with them together. Only them and their life as it always felt when they were like this.

Relm didn't hesitate or stop, her show of deep passion and longing for him would give him just that. Something so out of the ordinary in her everyday life, but so natural anytime she was with him. Being her true self and the strongest she could be. It was no wonder she had such a difficult time seeing eye to eye with Manea.

She gave Alastor his free reign as she always did, but maybe he wanted it like this. All of what she wanted. She wanted it to last as much as she was eager to give him that bliss. They both felt so equally rewarding to her. She lived for him. No strain or worries as she rode out the waves of his hold and his breath on her, and taking any way that he wanted. Her paws grabbing onto him like he could just disappear beneath her. She would meet his end, not wanting to let go. Finding that catch of her breath as the sour emotions threatened her with every passing moment. What would happen after. After they went back to Elysium, and after she was gone. She still savored the moments. She didn't know what she could remember when all was said and done. But she hoped it was every moment like this. For now she just wanted to stay wrapped up in him, not face her own truth. Easy when she had what she wanted.

"Relm"

In the heat of their passions together, Alastor gave himself over to Relm just as much as she relinquished herself to him. The motions of their bodies together were fluid and rhythmic, movements perfected by the length of their time spent together. They had learned one another intimately, inside and out, and it showed in how they handled one another. She gave him his free rein, allowing him to do with her as she wished, but this time Alastor did not seize control from her. He kept Relm atop of him, moving his hips up to meet hers in harmony with every push and grind. Giant ebony paws squeezed at her shapely hips, encouraging her as much as he was holding on to her to keep her from pulling away too far before they'd reached their ends. It was a silent message from Alastor to her—she had him as much as he had her. He wanted to have her like this, leading them to the peaks of their pleasure and to apexes even further beyond. Her paws grabbed onto him, and his gripped to her, cupping her rump and massaging the base of her tail. Pressure built, pleasure climbed, and in this heated nirvana they created together in the chilly northern tundra, the two achieved ecstasy together.

Alastor reached his climax at the same time Relm did, clinging to her while they rode waves and crashed into a blissful sea as one. He called out her name in a deep groan that echoed around the valley of the sound when he finished, stars exploding before his eyes. And then there was nothing but that floaty afterglow that always came after. The dire brute collapsed to his back, gasping and panting for breath while he held Relm close to him, afraid that if he were to let go even a little bit, she might disappear before his eyes. He wanted to hold onto this moment for as long as he could, to savor and cherish it and commit it to memory for all time. Their relationship had been a story of highs and lows, and he wanted this high to last for as long as it could. Here, in this peaceful interlude in the wake of their lovemaking, everything felt right again.

Obsidian eyes blinked open to gaze up at the pink fae straddling his lap, a euphoric grin on his muzzle as he stared at her with affection and love. Relm was so special to him, so dear... If only she could see herself the way he saw her. One paw ran slowly up over the curve of her hip to stroke her side, sharp claws extending to carefully comb through her plush fur. "Relm..." Alastor spoke her name in a breathy whisper, visibly appearing between them as a small cloud of humid breath in the cool air. Was this why she had wanted to bring him all the way out here? For a beautiful scenic backdrop to some wonderful makeup sex?

"Alastor"

Relm felt like Alastor had seen more of her worst moments than her best. Their best. But still to her everything could feel right when she had him like this. She was too kind to think he could forget Manea. They both knew it was never meant to be this way for them. She could have suffered this way forever, but not after the loss of Alastor's pups and cutting herself off from him.

She found herself falling into him again as he gingerly ran his paw over her, her breath rolling into the sounds of nature and the distant falls behind them. Truly, living, in this moment. Everything could be perfect.

It took her a short while after Alastor had spoke her name before she had lifted her head off of his chest to look back at him. Maybe the tension in her building back up. "Al…" not just his name, there was more. And as hard as it was for her to say it to him, there was no part of her that was afraid to do so. Emotion had been slowly draining after their time together, but still when she looked at him she loved him. She hurt for him. "I want to die, Alastor." The signs were there… this was more than that. It was more than she had given anyone else. She didn’t have a plan but her time was running short. She didn’t know when, or how, but she knew it couldn’t be forever. She hoped he would be able to forgive her.

"Relm"