Uphill struggle, blood sweat and tears

Tyr's hesitant steps carried him closer to where Erani's den was situated. He hadn't been there since he'd joined, but everyone knew where it was, and it was hard to miss. His ears flicked back, tail held low in intimidation as the walls of a ravine closed around him, leading him forth to the den like a supplicant to the throne room of a queen. A benevolent queen, to be sure, but an intimidating one none-the-less. He come because he needed to start his lessons, to be less of a drain on the pack, but after he'd finally worked up the nerve to actually approach one of his new instructors, he'd realized he didn't even know what they looked like to find them. All that courage he'd been working on since the pack meeting wilted away at the thought, and he'd not been able to bring himself to approach yet another stranger and ask for one of the three to be pointed out to him.

So, he was going to Erani, hoping that she wouldn't be too busy to point him in the right direction, hoping she wouldn't think less of him for not being able to just track them down himself. Slipping up to crouch at the den entrance he called out a tentative "H-Hello?"



"Speech"

Nothing to gain, everything to fear

Cormalin

Cormalin had just finished up a nap when the scent of his student washed over his nose, and the tentative voice called out. Yawning, stretching to his paws, and shaking out his thick fur, Cormalin padded out of his alcove, eyes finding the young male with a gently smile. ?Ah, Tyr. I was just about to go out to find you. We have a lesson today.? Heavy tail swayed gently behind him as he looked the male over. After a moment, he smiled. ?If I may make a few suggestions. You have your tail tucked, which is good for protecting it. Try squaring your hind paws, like this.? He demonstrated, hind legs settling into a relaxed, squared stance, weight slightly tilted back to rest in his pelvis, centering his gravity there for easy maneuverability of the forelegs. ?This puts a bit of strength into your haunches, good for fast lunges, or dodging, because your muscles are coiled, and your hind legs will provide thrust.? He studied the male again. ?If you lift your hackles, and roll your shoulders forward into your neck, your scruff will lend defense, and the raised fur is far more likely to be the only thing ripped out, instead of flesh. Tucking your chin will protect your throat, and pinning your ears will male them a smaller target. Now, your leg is crippled. But can you use your shoulder to shove things?? His ears pressed forward, tail wagging slowly in encouragement as he awaited an answer. During his explanations, he had demonstrated the movements, and now stood squared and well defended.

The one to answer Tyr's hail was not in fact Erani. The big dark male appeared, and for a very long moment Tyr could not breath. Half-crouched he froze, every muscle so tense with fear that pain washed over him. Words reached him faintly through the ringing of his ears, but all Tyr could focus on, all he could see was Hroovitnir before him. The big black male with the yellow eyes and scars, studying him... ready to explode in fury any second and punish him for running away, tearing into him... His vision began to blacken and go fuzzy around the edges. Hroovitnir moved, settling into a fighting stance, and Tyr flinched back violently, crying out, fully expecting the wolf to spring at him, to feel teeth in his scruff at any moment. Instead he tripped over himself in his haste to get back, jarring himself out of the terror that had crushed him in it's grip. His eyes flew back to the wolf, half-expecting it to have been simply an apparition, but the wolf was still there. Still there, but only one eye was yellow - the other was blue, and the white star on his forehead made it clearer. This was not Hroovitnir. The wolf smelled of Valhalla, and of Erani, and shame choked Tyr. "I- I'm sorry!" he whined frantically, ears flat. Had he even caught a word the wolf had said? His mind frantically tried to piece together the buzzing words that had actually made it through subconsciously. Something about hackles, and tucking his chin, and... no, he didn't have any idea what was going on. "Speech"

Cormalin

Cormalin realized, with a stroke of worry, that Tyr hadn?t heard anything he?d said. The young male?s eyes were glazed with fright, and he jerked back as Cormalin completed the stance for a well defended fighter, yelping as though a blow had been laid upon him. The young male tripped, and then looked back at Cormalin, almost as though Cormalin might not be there, and then frantically apologized. Heavens, it was almost as though he expected harsh punishment. Cormalin stepped up to Tyr, nosing lightly into his scruff. ?It?s alright, Tyr. By the way, I?m sure you already know, but my name is Cormalin, Erani?s brother. I am your mentor, and I am here to help you become strong, and bring that strength to the surface. You can also call me a friend.? Cormalin?s baritone voice was gentle, not harsh, not angry, as he offered the gift of friendship to the young wolf. Tyr looked like he could use all the friends he could get. ?Want to try again? Or do you need a moment more?? Cormalin's haunches lowered, tail gently sweeping the cave floor.

Tyr flinched as the larger male stepped forward to nose his scruff, but he was too distracted by the male's words to catch more than the edge of fear, the muscle-memory trained of dark memories. "Y-you're Erani's brother?" Mismatched eyes stared up at the big male, for the first time really, really seeing him, rather than the emotion-ridden shade of Hroovitnir. Erani's brother, and Tyr had just made a complete fool of himself in front of him, no doubt to be reported to the alpha. A wave of self-loathing curdled his stomach, shame at his own cowardice. "I'm sorry," he repeated, his voice suddenly dull and weary. "You were probably hoping for an apprentice who could actually..." he trailed off, then shrugged. Erani seemed to think he could make something of himself, yet all his time in Valhalla he'd made no progress in mastering even his own fear. This experiment was doomed from the start; might as well get it over with so everyone else knew it too. "You don't need to wait, I'm ready now." To back up his words, Tyr did the only two things he had really caught from Cormalin's speech, half-heartedly raising his hackles and tucking his chin down, fixing his eyes on the ground between them. "Speech"

Cormalin

The flinch wasn?t unnoticed, but he also noticed that Tyr was paying more attention to him, and was concentrating just enough to not be as terrified. ?Yes. I?m her brother. I used to be Beta before the war with Glaciem. My niece, Surreal is the Beta Primary now. I trained her myself.? He added proudly as he answered Tyr?s stammered question of his lineage. Tyr?s eyes seemed to clear, then cloud with self-loathing. Cormalin nudged him lightly on the shoulder with his nose as the boy spoke. ?Hey now, none of that. I knew a female, Iroila. She was crippled in the same leg you were. Granted, she was injured fighting as a young wolf, but she didn?t let it stop her. She adapted. She was also blind in one eye. My pack was massacred by our enemy, Blackmoon Pack. Iroila was old, crippled, half blind, but she still brought down three enemy wolves before she died. You can get past your disabilities, if you just let yourself grow.? His baritone voice was warm and gentle, mismatched eyes liquid gold and sapphire locking with the green and gold eyes of his pupil. ?There is nothing you can?t do if you just try.? As Tyr rose, Cormalin stood beside the male, noting that he?d caught some of what Cormalin had said. ?Very good. Flatten your ears, and square out your hind paws.? Cormalin lifted one front paw, the same paw that Tyr was crippled in, holding it to his breast. ?You tend to rest your weight on your pelvis, to keep your balance, so there?s an advantage right there. Your weight will coil your hind leg muscles, and if you want to lunge forward, the strength there will propel you more quickly.? He smiled at the young male. ?Now try lowering your head to level with your shoulders. This protects your throat further. Roll your shoulders forward. This will protect your neck well from side attacks.?

Cormalin nudged his shoulder, drawing an inadvertent shudder from the young male, and recounted a story about a wolf from his old pack who had overcome her handicaps and so on, evidently assuming Tyr's reluctance came from his crippled leg. No, Tyr had dealt with that handicap most of his life, and was used to it. He opened his muzzle to say something to that effect, but closed it again wordlessly. Still, the words played bitterly, mockingly through his mind. It's not my leg that's the problem, it's me. I'm a coward, a useless selfish child and there's no getting around it. You shouldn't even bother. Cormalin had moved to continue the lesson, giving him instructions. Flatten his ears? Easy enough, with his ears already splayed from that potent mix of fear and shame, so he just squashed them as hard against his skull as he could, then shuffled his hind paws so they were more even and squared them with his forepaws. "I can put weight on my bad leg," Tyr offered hesitantly, when Cormalin lifted his own matching paw. He didn't know if that made a difference to Cormalin's plan for him, if he had one. "I just usually don't because it's shorter than my other legs so I can go faster when I'm not using it. Most of it's fine, it's just the bottom part is twisted a bit." He didn't tell him about the healers breaking his leg as a pup, multiple times, to try to get the curled-up and twisted limb to heal into some semblance of straight. It was irrelevant. He kept adjusting his stance, interested in spite of himself in Cormalin's explanation of why his own natural way of holding his weight would be helpful. Not often did he come across something good about having been born crippled. Trying his best to follow the directions given, Tyr lowered his head so his spine was completely level, then hunched his shoulders. It felt, he reflected, a lot like a submissive posture. Mismatched eyes wavered on Cormalin anxiously - was he doing it right? What was he supposed to do next? "Speech"