I guess I should start keeping track of the weird things about me. Feel free to make your own :3


"I have a Problem":


1.) Thunder, Fireworks, Basically anything that makes a Loud BOOM.
I'm not quite sure why loud noises make me go insane, but it scares me to death. It makes my nerves shot and it takes a while for me to calm down. Something I will probably never grow out of. I have a Problem.

2.) Lightning.
When I'm inside, I absolutely love watching the crazy flash of lightning. But when it comes to being outside, I about lose my mind. I have a horrible fear of getting struck by lightning. I have a problem.

3.) Flying Insects.
Oh my gosh. It doesn't matter if it is a moth, ladybug, stink bug, if it has wings it should die. Wasps, Bumble Bees, Stink bugs, Ladybugs, Butterflies, The only thing that doesn't bother me are flies. Sure they are obnoxious, but I don't run into the other room because I spot one. I have a problem.

4.) Loading the dish washer.
First of all:
5.) Rubber Gloves
I have a huge problem with touching everyone's gross spit. People tell me I can use rubber gloves, well they bother my skin. I hate the grimy feeling left over on my hands from toughing food-soaked dishes. And I can't even deal with Silverware. I have a problem.

6.) Silverware.
I can't even use my own spoons and forks. The edges have be thick or else I feel like it is cutting into my skin. There can't be too many scratches on the metal or when I bite into it, it feel dirty. Anytime I go to someone's house, I also do the same at my house, I take out the spoon/fork and observe it front and back to make sure there is no food on it. Then I rub the back of it on my pants/shirt. It is sad that I could care less about the dirt and nastiness on my clothes but I freak about what could be on the clean silverware. I have a problem.

"#ICant":

haha, i actually really like this idea. it lets us all get to know each other's quirks cx so here's my random list of "weird" things about me && maybe i'll add more if i can think of them.

• one weird thing about me that we all share in common is that i enjoy pretending to be a talking wolf and writing multiple paragraphs about what said wolf does/thinks/feels/etc. that's all not weird to us but a couple of my friends know of this hobby of mine and give me so much shit about it ;p in fact, one of my friends used to address me as "morphine" and would laugh at me when i would say i had to get home to work on some posts xDD



• for the most part, i do not like to socialize with people; it is something that has always been extremely hard for me to do comfortably and that's probably why i spend so much time on the internet and away from the "real world." like, seriously, if someone i don't know comes up to talk to me i will blush hardcore and not know what to say lol. but, oddly enough, even talking to people with the comfort of two screens and much distance between, i stress over it no matter the conversation. just something that has accumulated over the years -- dunno why.



• maybe this isn't so weird but i can seriously spend hours and hours watching dumb shit on youtube and i do it quite often. my favorite channels areee: pewdiepie, roosterteeth, cryaotic, nigahiga, watchusliveandstuff, capndesdes, hailedabear, ianh, and a couple of others that i can't remember off the top of my head.



• i have an intense discomfort/fear of blood. if i get cut and see blood i will go into an involuntary laughing fit and i'll become extremely weak to the point where it's a hassle to even lift my hands. a couple of times i have puked at the sight of blood, mine and other people's included. honestly even typing this out is making me extremely uncomfortable :l



• something that revolves around roleplaying is that i can only seem to find the muse to roleplay characters that are female and darkly aligned. I DONT KNOW WHY because im not evil although i am a girl xD



• maybe one of the oddest things about myself is that i am extremely paranoid omg it's not even funny. i have an irrational fear that i'm always being videotaped or someone is watching me through my window. if i go into a bedroom i always have to check under the bed just in case someone is there and i fear leaving my house on certain occasions because i think someone is going to kill me ; n ; IDK WHY THAT'S JUST THE WAY I IS GURL

HI I'M YOUR FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD OCENANUS and i am extremely weird

- number one let's see I freak out literally every time i talk to someone i don't know or don't know very well. I'm the worst at starting conversations and like I have to text people. I don't call people unless I need to like hear their voices and yeah even then it's an awkward struggle. Even starting conversations online makes me sad and yes. Idk but yeah I'm weird okay and people freak me out and they make my heart sad.

- number two this sort of goes with one but yeah i basically will not start conversations with you unless I really like you/feel comfortable with you because otherwise I will spend twenty minutes panicking and spazzing out and yeah i don't like starting conversations because it makes me feel annoying and unwanted and like once a month i go on a kick where i won't talk to anyone unless they reach out to me first and that is how I lose 99% of my friends oops

- number three uhm I am a swimmer I'M PRETTY SURE THAT QUALIFIES AS SOMETHING WEIRD. Especially considering i pretty much hate my sport lol

- numero quattro (actually i'm not sure how to spell that and it's too early in the morning to actually get off my butt and check) my mother is a single lesbian and my father was an anonymous sperm donor and my family is literally 50 shades of weird as heck (look I censored myself)

- okay i can't think of anything else but yeah ocenanus is weird okay I HAVE EMBRACED IT. and you should too

-I'm afraid of sledding, and I am ashamed of it :( Don't ask me why because I do not know, but I literally panic when people try to make me do it.

-I love to watch cartoons, especially Spongebob. Spongebob is my absolute favorite and I could watch all day long.

-I can't stand to be alone. When my family leaves me home alone, I beg friends to come or I go somewhere. I hate even just being in the house by myself when everyone is outside. When I had my own dorm in college, I always invited friends to sleep over because I hate it so much.

-In contrast with the last one, I kind of hate people. I think the majority of people are ignorant and drive me crazy with their gossip and drama and bad decisions. I have a lot of "friends" but very few REAL friends. I'm totally honest with everyone about where they stand with me though.

-I play in a women's kickball league :)

Little ol Wolf throwing her weird self at yous peeps:

-I hate people. I honestly do. They irk me. People are so judgmental and always jump to conclusions and it just pisses me off how everyone is so freaking stereotypical towards everything and everyone. I'm such an open-minded person and none-judgmental person and the fact that most of the world is the opposite makes me wish I could live as a wolf.

-Sometimes I wish I was born a wolf. I swear, in my head, I believe myself to be an actual wolf. I already have the weird eyes that change color, so if only I could get my body to cooperate and switch forms, I'd be golden. I'm so convinced of my true inner wolf that I've even gotten my fianc? to jump aboard and believe the same thing lol I can even growl XD

-I hate females. Most of 'em anyway. Well better said, I hate the female gender. (not meaning any of the amazing ala ladies haha) There are so many stereotypes that come along with females and we as a whole just have such a bad reputation it makes me wish I wasn't apart of the female gender

-As many of you might know, or maybe not, Wolfy is a full blooded LATINA haha 50% Mexican, and 50% Nicaraguense(Central American for you peeps that don't know what that is) I speak, write, and read fluent Spanish and Spanish is my native language.

-I'm a walking contradiction. My first name is Russian, my middle name is French, I'm white skinned and a latina. Makes no sense right? haha

-Though I am a girl, I much prefer to hang out with guys. They are a lot less drama, to me anyway, and are so much cooler than chicks. I was that chick in hs that hung out specifically with just a group of guys haha like a BOSS

And yea, tis little ol' Wolf :D

Alright, I'll jump on the bandwagon!

1. I have a fear of stairs. Going down stairs specifically. I dunno why, it's not like I've ever been pushed down the stairs or anything, but if I'm going down the stairs I insist on holding the handrail so I don't hyperventilate or something. And heaven forbid someone be walking behind me. Shesh.

2. I have a severe phobia of stuff touching my eyes. I can't wear contacts, I can't touch my eye, I opt out of the eye numbing drop things at the eye doctor, I can't even watch someone else touch their eye. I won't even wear eye liner. It's kind of a problem.

3. I play french horn. Like it's my major in college and everything. I feel like that's kind of weird.

4. I'm OCD about my music. I have to have the full albums of stuff if its in my iTunes and it must have the album art. It drives me crazy when people have bits and pieces of albums and they have the generic music note picture instead of the album art. I also insist on having nice headphones. I'm currently rocking a pair of Bose ear buds that are worth every one of the $99 dollars I spent on them.

5. Alright, about to get so real talk right now. I don't talk about it much, like ever, but I'm a wolf therian. My boyfriend is also a wolf therian (we call each other our mates its kind of adorable). I call my wolf Meili, that's what I based my wolf Meili on here off of. That's why that charie in particular is my baby. (I won't go into all that too much cause it kind weirds even me out sometimes, but I don't mind answering questions or whatever.)

Sooooo yeah, love you guys <3 Love the idea of this thread.

trynxieee????


1. I hate my name. My first name is Victoria but everyone calls me Tori. I love the name Victoria but not when people call me it and to me Tori sounds too masculine.

2. I only have two real friends and I selfishly get very upset when they talk about other friends of theirs and stuff like that...

3. I don't "hang out." I do my best hanging out with my besties and they both live far away. The thought of trying to connect with my other "friends" scares me, honestly.

4. I don't go swimming purely on the basis of how self conscious I am about my body.

5. I only wear jeans. No shorts. No Capris. very very rarely I will wear dresses.

6. I hate my boobs. Absolutely hate them. As in I wish I didn't have them, they just get in the way.

7. I would rather be a guy... I don't think I would feel as pressured to be "pretty"

8. My characters are all pieces of me, each ones hold secret insights into what goes on in my mind.

9. If I had my way, I would be more or less an animal hoarder, I am an animal lover to the extreme.

10. Uhhh, my friends call me the dog whisperer. Generally speaking I really connect with dogs, they like me and I love them. My dogs are my children. I'm the person who drives down the street and gets distracted by a pretty dog in a yard.

11. As a crazy dog lady, I can name breeds very well, even the rare ones that most people don't know. Give me a picture or a description and generally speaking I can tell you what it is.

12. I guess you could say that getting animals is my way of stopping my biological clock because sometimes I just want a baby and there is no better baby than an animal (especially a dog)

13. From the ages of about 8 to 16 I went through a period where I hated cartoons with a passion.

14. I stopped trick or treating when I was 12. Why? On those long trips in search of candy, I seemed to develop a bad habit of peeing my pants. It scarred me for sure. I refuse to even put on a costume anymore.

15. Lightning freaks me out. If there is a thunderstorm, you nearly have to goad me outside with a knife to my back. I just don't want to get struck T^T

16. I hate everyone I meet nearly automatically. My approval really has to be earned. This is why my best friends are some of the people I remember hating the most.

17. My internet self is a lot more outgoing than my real life self. The net is my chance to live to full potential, which falls into the next one...

18. Sociophobia. I truly have a fear of socializing. If someone talks to me or I think someone is looking at me or for any reason attention is drawn to me, I go beat red, my hands get clammy and my eyes start watering. All the while experiencing a mini heart attack. Public speaking? Well first my heart rate kicks up a million notches... then I get shaking, my body quivers like crazy, then I get freezing cold, and the whole time I'm sweating bullets. I can't even talk face to face with members of my family without experiencing these things. Oh, and I don't dislike public speaking. I actually enjoy giving speeches and stuff like that but my sociophobia makes it absolutely horrible.

19. Eye contact. It is really very challenging for me. If my eyes meet yours I will automatically look away.

20. Over the years I have psyched myself into being afraid of various things: lightning, needles, pain in general, roller coasters, bugs.

21. I am terrified of the dark, I always have been.

22. I've always been a very quiet person based both on the fact that my sociophobia makes me not want any attention and also on the fact that when I do talk, although I am speaking at a normal tone in my own head, people can't hear me. It only makes the situation worse because I usually end up repeating myself at least 3 times. Anymore I just tell people to nevermind.

23. When I manage to bypass my extreme sociophobia, I generally have some highly sarcastic and not very nice remarks to say and people really don't like at all. When I get into the really witty stuff, I have about the best dry sarcasm that there is so I tend to piss people off.


I'll stop now... lol..... most of these are quirky things, I guess some are just more interesting facts...

owlie's weird little quirks

. I'm half Italian, half mutt. I use the half Italian bit to have an excuse for not being picky about food; however, I do have some weird food squicks. I do not like Jello. It weirds me out. I also don't like cheesecake. Even the smell makes me ill. Just... do not want.

. I don't like to be touched. If the touch is initiated by me or if I know the other person very well, I don't mind at all. If the touch is unexpected or by someone I don't know or like... I'm not a happy camper.

. There's this weird thing I have where I have to double-, even triple-check that I've done things. If I try to fight the urge to go check, I get a really uneasy feeling that doesn't go away so it's just easier to go along with it.

. I forget things a lot, and it bothers me. It ranges from simple things, like forgetting my lunch, to more major things, like losing my keys. This winter, I started my car to defrost it and when I went back out to scrape the ice off the windows, I locked the keys in the car. Not to mention this was in the middle of a blizzard. It's simply awful.

. I also don't pay attention well, no matter how hard I try.

. I have anger issues. I tend to lean more toward being angry than being sad. I think that if I cry, it shows that I'm weak. Funnily enough, I don't think that about other people.

. I have very few real friends, if any at all. I have a bunch of people who consider me their friend, I just don't trust them enough to really let them in.

. Male characters are much easier for me to play, even though I'm a girl myself. I'm working on the female characters to get better at playing as them.

. No one knows that I role play.

. I forgot about this one. I don't like when numbers end with nine. It's stupid but it bothers me and I have to watch the clock until the minute passes. Nines just straight out bother me.

Since I'm new yea?

1. I'm Ojibwe. Grew up on a reservation and evuraythang. I was raised in poverty, but had a great childhood. I didn't realize how little money my family had until I moved off the reserve and started attending university. I'm politically active and have had anti-oppression training. I'm a feminist. Which scares people. I consider myself a woman of color and a visible minority.

2. I smoke. Been an off/on smoker for just about half my life. It's gross, I know. I understand I should quit but am not ready to.

3. I once lived in Kenya, doing volunteer work. I also worked and lived in Winnipeg, Manitoba just prior to going overseas. I worked primarily with refugeee/immigrant youth and children. Some was drug prevention work, and assisting with their English as a second language.

4. Just finished a 35 chapter novel today. Tomorrow I begin revisions. I probably won't be ready to let others read it for a few weeks. Hopefully by November I'll be ready to send it to publishers. I'm very insecure when it comes to my writing. Rping has helped some, but not a lot in this way.

5. I played dead in an upcoming film that's starring Adam Beech and Dominic Purcell. I was "Dead Trapper #3 (female)." When I got called in to go on set, I thought it was my cousin's film, turns out it was a much bigger deal than that. She was just working as a go-between for the film company and the Reservation they filmed on. I got paid 79 dollars to hang out on set with some really cool people, and pretend to be dead for half an hour.

6. I hate alien movies and stories. Not sure why I just do. Which is funny, because the movie I was in was about aliens.

7. I've read every Stephen King novel ever published. Same with Anne Rice (even her dirty ones yep). I've also read all the works by Clive Barker, Brett Easton Ellis and Chuck Palahniuk. I'm a huge book nerd. I don't just read novels, I devour them. It took me three hours to read 13 Reasons Why, and when it came out, 4 hours to read Goblet of Fire.

8. I've rped a lot longer than anyone on this site guaranteed. I started before I was 13, and well, I'm a lot older than that now.

9. Terrified of needles. I cry everytime I need bloodwork or immunizations. No idea where this phobia started.

10. I've broken both my ankles, one after the other in two consequative years. Because of this I'm terrified of escalators. Stairs moving down? Just can't do it. Yikes. Just the down escalators. Going up's no problem, it's just coming down that really gets me sweatin'.

11. Lightning frightens the hell out of me. Even when I'm indoors.

12. Sometimes my mind goes quicker than my mouth and ill randomly stutter.

13. When I graduated from high school I was one of only 13, and one of the only three who were under the age of 20.

14. I have an obsession with old horror flicks, even though I can no longer stomach hardcore gore.

15. My new obsession is loose leaf tea.

16. I've spoken at three national forums/conferences.

17. I also have been certified to take care of wards of the state (I was a nanny for a short time after finishing high school).

18. I rolled my dads atv/4-wheeler when I was 15 and did a number on my hip. Because of this I can't drive cars. Speed scares the living hell out of me. Yet I never wear seatbelts. Lol

19. Currently, I'm living with untreated anxiety and depression. It's a personal choice, as I have a high susceptibility to substance abuse. I'm a bit of a glutton, so when I like something, I truly love it and have to have more. It's the reason why I hoard music and read so much.

And uhm yeah, that's me :) open to chatting so hey, if you're bored just hit me up on aim~

Alright! Strange things about me?

I grew up in Southern California! It was probably the happiest time of my life? But I tossed a lot of my childhood memories when my family moved to Ohio because teen angst and depression and all that. Not the best way to cope do not recommend I had to work HARD for my current self awareness because of that oh my god.

I'm 20! And I take care of my parents and my sister. Mom's been dealing with MS for over 15 years, Dad's legally blind (can see general shapes and lighting, no color or detail) and sister's younger (she's 16) Financially I don't help out much but that should change as soon as I can FIND a job in my area. Times be hard ):

I was a couple of years late graduating high school since my mother got extremely sick and that left me in charge in high school and although some people can handle it all I couldn't. We're pretty sure her nurse and doctor weren't treating her right (worse than it sounds, but i won't go into detail) but have no way to prove it.

I am now have no faith in the medical system or government! :,D

I'm black yay! But I look sort of mixed my skin tone has this weird yellow hue and my hair is such a light brown right now because I like to be outside in the summer and it's just strange ahaha. The rest of my little family is nice and chocolaty and I look adopted save for having my dad's eyes and weird lopsided smile ahahaha.

I have some anxiety issues! (surprising right?) They're pretty slight, but it's taken me up until now to learn that they don't get better by me forcing myself to ignore them. That just makes me more nervous, haha.

Even though I hoard female characters here, I normally play males a lot better. When it comes to lions and people I play boys. My animal characters are normally hetero but my human boys don't really listen or care what I want them to like they do what they want and generally annoy me.

My muses tend to have personalities of their own and their moods reflect on my mood as I'm writing them out. If they're mourning I'll shed a few tears, if they're happy I'll bounce a bit, if they're angry/annoyed I'll sneer or roll my eyes and such. I didn't notice this actually, my sister did and I'm not sure what to think of it.

I have a few long drawn out intricate story lines that will probably never be finished because I'm writing them with my sister and she posts like, a few times a month when I'm lucky -cries- She's such a good writer but she gets depressed easily and goes through periods of art block that are just... as big as the heavens.

- I don't like spiders but who does!
- I'm pretty obsessed with homestuck I thought it'd hate it but i'm stuck in the fandom now.
- I'm a weirdo, and watch more anime (and cartoons) than normal television.
- I've been rping for nearly six years now c: yay!

I am painfully awkward and bad at plotting but I love you all please talk to me I don't bite I always want to help and hug everyone here and life is hard and you guys make it better even when I'm not posting. <3

well, we all know that roamer's pretty strange, but i'll tell you some random fun-facts about me that make me even stranger.

1; I don't wear matching socks. Last time I did, I was in a car wreck and I almost died.

2; I currently weigh about 200 lbs. When you look at me you generally don't guess that much ;_; (it actually bothers me)

3; I adore soft kitty and my little pony, and sailor moon, and pokemon, and etc. I'm a major nerd.

4; I like to cook this thing, its polish sausage fried in butter and garlic powder, and then dip it in applesauce and eat it. (Weird... but its yummy) I also have this thing for Smiley french-fries. I bake them then melt cheese on them and dip them in ranch.

5; I'm terrified of only two things. Wasps and Needles. Crazy guy with a gun in my face, I'm perfectly fine. Wasps? Needles? Fuck no.

6; I'm actually really insecure about myself. I act really confident around my friends.. but I'm really insecure.

7; I'm like overly nice. I'll let people walk all over me over and over again, because I don't want to hurt their feelings. (I'm working on that)

8; Conflict actually makes me very anxious. I don't like it, at all.

9; I'm a huge procrastinator. I mean, seriously I put things off as long as possible then have a panic attack because I don't have enough time to do a good job on whatever.

10; I've never been good enough. Not for my family, friends, ex boyfriends, anyone. So... I have a lot of issues about that.

11; I never got to be a child, because from the time I was six until the time I was about twelve I was sexually assaulted, and lied about it happening, because I was convinced it was my fault. I still am. Its because of this that I have issues with sex. I may talk about sexual things, but I've never had sex willingly b/c it terrifies me. =Major Roamer Issue


--I'll add more facts about me as I think of them :3

Hmm, I don't think I'm terribly interesting but..

- I'm 22, a student studying psychology & philosophy, also working as a cashier/sorta manager for my parents at their store. I try to work a lot because we barely have enough money to get by sometimes.

- I have been living away from my parents for a year now, with my boyfriend of 3 years <3 He is my best friend in the entire world, and knows I roleplay and such.

- We (me and bf) are gamers at heart... we met on a very small MMORPG, about 5 years ago! He moved across the country to be with me.

- We still play that same game. If I'm at home but not posting, I'm generally playing a game with friends on Skype -- I have a hard time balancing roleplaying & gaming sometimes! I generally quit a site when I get too caught up in one game, but am trying desperately to balance things because I love Ala.

- I have rather severe issues with social anxiety. It's debilitating at times, but I've been doing so much better lately. I am very insecure and have few real friends.

- I'm very sexual/flirtatious around people I'm comfortable with (which isn't very many).

- I'm straight edge. I do not drink, smoke, or do any kind of recreational drugs. Yes, I drink caffeine. I have tattoo's of X's on the back of my calves; it's something that means a lot to me and that I'm very proud of.

- I have cystic fibrosis. Most people don't believe me because the prototypical CF patient is very thin (and I'm not, at all). I have a rare mutation of it that, thus far, only affects my sinuses -- I have no issues breathing or with digestion but I have to go to the doctor every 3 months for blood work, etc so they can keep an eye on it. I do get sick often and have crippling sinus infections monthly, but I'm kinda used to them..

- I'm bisexual. I prefer women over men, generally...

- I really like piercings/tattoos. Right now I have 8 piercings right now, including ears stretched to 7/16", and have 10 tattoos right now, including a pretty large piece covering most of the side of my calf. I want more but they cost too much for me to handle right now. ;_;

Weird Azaya coming on you guys. XD

1. I get scared half to death when I heard loud things like; motorcycles, cars without mufflers, thunder, screaming coming out of nowhere, yelling, something falling, and fireworks.

2. I cannot talk well half of the time and mess up every single word that comes out of my mouth on some days, other days I can pronounce everything perfectly and not be all like shkirt-shirt.

3. I hate math and I am not very good at it because it bores the crap out of me, while I love reading and could take in every word and be interested, even if it's about boring things.

4. I can swim for a while because I have asthma and git runs in the family and I cannot run very well without running out of breath and I get burnt up easily because of something.

5. I want to be a wolf or any other wild animal because they do not have to go to school and do math and cannot have ashtma and if they encounter something they hate they could kill it.

Here comes the crazy <3 Where to begin..

-I suffer from debilitating arachnophobia. If I see a spider, I literally scream and cry and run away from it as fast as I can. And you realllly wouldn't want to be around me if I find a spider ON me. I turn into a bat from hell and freak the fuck out.

-I had a really rough childhood, and my life is still pretty rough even now. My parents divorced when I was 7, and I suffered from suicidal tendencies off and on since then. I got roped into drugs and drinking, partying and fighting, etc, all at a very early age. I actually spent 3 years being tossed back and forth from detention centers, rehabs, psych centers, residential treatment centers, group homes, etc. Every time I went to court I had to listen to my judge tell my parents that they could take me home whenever, and listen to them say that they didn't want me. I was released from placement in March of 2013 and proceeded to go batshit crazy with my new-found freedom. I got into much harder drugs over the summer (cocaine, molly, heroin, etc) and literally was an alcoholic. I'm much better now though ^.^ I still get cravings, but I handle them. I've been arrested several times, BUT I SWEAR I'M NOT A CRIMINAL. I just make really stupid decisions and regret them tenfold afterwards. Yeah, I've had it rough, but I'm trying as hard as I can not to give up.

-Not to brag or anything, but I'm actually a pretty amazing singer <3 My music is everything. I was in a rock band for awhile o.o

-I'm considered 'popular', and I hang out with a lot of people, which actually seems highly contrary to how I see myself xD I'm a complete nerd, I don't get it.

-I listen to nothing but rock and country. I absolutely despise rap and hip hop, which is what the majority of my friends listen to.

-Yeah, I'm pretty. But I'm like the most insecure person you'll ever meet. To be completely honest, I hate myself. I hate the things that I do and the decisions I make, but I can't help it. I do really shitty things and I really DON'T know why.

-I'm slightly self-deprecating, if you can't tell.

-I'm obsessed with The Vampire Diaries. Like, beyond obsessed. It's serious xD

-For some reason, I'm extremely intelligent. My IQ is far above average, and yet I do very stupid things. It really doesn't make sense at all.

-I'm way too nice, and I would literally put my life on the line for a complete stranger. I let people walk all over me, and I don't stand up for myself, ever. I try to be the nicest I can be so people don't have a reason to hate me (and I won't have to deal with feeling like poo every time that person says mean things), but it doesn't work >.>

-I'm trying. I'm trying so hard to pull myself out of this depression, out of this hole I've dug myself into. But it's literally gotten to the point where I can't see the light anymore. Things are ceasing to have meaning for me, and that's how you know I'm about to spiral. I'm scared.