BIRNA, MERCY and CASCADE vs SIN, AMACHI and CALYPSO for SPAR
ROUND ONE
BIRNA:
10 for clarity:
8 for powerplaying.
- -2 “...seeking to wrap her left forelimb around the right side and back of the base of Sin's neck, right in front of his shoulders aiming to put her hefty weight across his neck and push his neck to her right.” I'm not convinced that a wolf's foreleg could bend like that. If it were just her paw/ankle hooking over his right shoulder I could see that, but it reads like you want Birna's foreleg to drape across most or all of his neck and I just can't see that being possible if they're facing one another head on.
10 for defenses.
- +1 for each seen to max of 10.
9 for attack.
- +1 for foreleg throw
- +1 for foreleg grab
- +2 for chest slam
- +3 for bite
+1 for grip
+1 for severity
10 for injuries.
Birna's round one total: 47/50
SIN:
2 for clarity:
- -2 “Instead, her left foreleg would slide off the center of his back...” How is this possible if he stepped out of range?
- -2 “...her right foreleg would do no more then lightly scratch his right shoulder...” Where on her right shoulder? And how is she striking higher than his elbow when that was her goal?
- -2 “...jut forth his right shoulder in an attempt to slam it into the bottom of Birna's rib cage...” Behind her shoulder? In the middle? Close to her hip? Which side of her ribcage?
- -2 “Bottom canines would seek the tender flesh of her stomach, and top canines would seek to slice down upon the right side of her body.” Even with the statement directly in front of this one I feel this is too vague. Also, all that's been done so far is Sin stepping to the side and swinging his hips away, how can he be reaching so far?
6 for powerplaying.
- -2 “...her bite would find purchase upon his hindquarters just above the base of his tail.” How on earth is she reaching all the way back there?
- -2 “...his left forepaw struck out in an attempt to slam down upon Birna's right hind paw...” Again, how can he be reaching so far back? With the positioning he attempted in one of your previous paragraphs only her upper right side should be in range for attacks.
10 for defenses.
- +1 for each seen to max of 10.
5 for attack.
0 for shoulder throw (no points given here because no forward movement was attempted that would give this move any damaging force)
- +3 for bite
- +1 for paw stomp
10 for injuries.
Sin's round one total: 32/50
CALYPSO:
1 for clarity:
- -2 “Thus the women charged forth at Cascade.” What part of Cascade? Is she charging head on? From the side? From behind?
- -2 “Side stepping to the right...” How far to the right? What does this do for their positioning?
- -3 “...in an attempt at a body slam...” What body part is being used? Where is she hoping to hit?
- -2 “...head held low Calypso would aim for a quick grab of the women's neck at the right side (her left).” Where on her neck? What do you mean by “grab”? Is this a bite attempt?
8 for powerplaying.
- -2 “Thus the women charged forth at Cascade.” This should have been attempted.
5 for defenses.
- +1 for bent legs
- +1 for pinned ears
- +1 for narrowed eyes
- +1 for raised hackles
- +1 for lowered head
3 for attack.
- +2 for grab
- +1 for paw stomp
10 for injuries.
Calypso's round one total: 27/50
CASCADE:
10 for clarity:
10 for powerplaying.
10 for defenses.
- +1 for each seen to max of 10.
7 for attack.
- +2 for bear hug
1 for grip
- +3 for bite
+1 for grip
10 for injuries.
Cascade's round one total: 47/50
MERCY:
8 for clarity:
- -2 “Mercy attempted to align herself with Calypso's left flank...” Side to side? Face to flank?
10 for powerplaying.
10 for defenses.
- +1 for each seen to max of 10.
6 for attack.
- +3 for bite
+1 for grip
- +2 for stomp
10 for injuries.
Mercy's round one total: 44/50
AMACHI:
Amachi forfeits this round because not all of the necessary occ information (participants, rounds, reasons) was listed.
0 for clarity:
0 for powerplaying.
0 for defenses.
0 for attack.
0 for injuries.
Amachi's round one total: 0/50
ROUND TWO
BIRNA:
10 for clarity:
10 for powerplaying.
10 for defenses.
- +1 for each seen to max of 10
10 (technically 11) for attack.
- +2 for chest slam
- +2 for shoulder throw
+1 for severity
- +3 for bite
+1 for severity
+1 for grip
- +1 for paw swipe
7 for injuries.
- -1 for moderate bruising
- -2 for moderate bite wound
Birna's round two total: 47/50
SIN:
4 for clarity:
- -2 “...struck the solid bone part of his right shoulder...” More detail is needed here
- -2 “...instead it would spike the side of his neck, however, with his lowered position, it would be no more then an annoyance as it left a light bruise upon rolled layers of fat.” Where on his neck?
- -2 “...in an attempt to grasp the top of her jaw in his teeth...” What part of the top of her jaw? The center? Which side is he coming in on?
9 for powerplaying.
- -1 “...he swung his jaws towards hers...” Minor powerplay. It would be better to say something like “...towards his right in an attempt to intercept...” otherwise you're not giving your opponent time to react.
10 for defenses.
- +1 for each seen to max of 10.
6 for attack.
- +3 for bite
+1 for grip
- +2 for stomp
7 for injuries.
- -2 for severe bruising to shoulder
- -1 for light bruising to neck
Sin's round two total: 36/50
CALYPSO:
Forfeits.
0 for clarity:
0 for powerplaying.
0 for defenses.
0 for attack.
0 for injuries.
Calypso's round two total: 0/50
CASCADE:
6 for clarity:
- -2 “...diagonally toward her left...” If I'm following this fight right, jumping towards her left would be taking her further away from the fighting, not towards it.
- -2 “She aimed to slam her lowered body into Amachi's left hind leg...” How did she get on Amachi's left side? I'm assuming you got your sides mixed up.
10 for powerplaying.
10 for defenses.
- +1 for each seen to max of 10.
8 for attack.
- +2 for shoulder slam
+1 for severity
- +3 for bite
+1 for grip
- +1 for paw swipe
10 for injuries.
Cascade's round two total: 44/50
MERCY:
10 for clarity:
8 for powerplaying.
- -2 “However the fronts of Amachi's knees bumped against her...” I'm not quite sure what to make of this, but because Amachi made no mention of using her elbows as weapons this feels like powerplaying.
9 for defenses.
- +1 for ears flatted
- 0 for snarl
- +1 for eyes narrowed
- +1 for weight distributed
- +1 for toes spread
- +1 for claws
- +1 for tail aligned
- +1 for neck aligned
- +1 for shoulders rolled
- +1 for chin tucked
6 for attack.
- +3 for bite
+1 for grip
- +2 for stomp
0 for unrealistic severity
9 for injuries.
Mercy's round two total: 42/50
AMACHI:
Because she failed to post in the allotted time, Amachi defaults this round.
0 for clarity:
0 for powerplaying.
0 for defenses.
0 for attack.
0 for injuries.
Amachi's round two total: 0/50
Totals:
Birna: 47 + 47 = 94
Cascade: 47 + 44 = 91
Mercy: 44 + 42 = 86
TOTAL: 271/3 = 90/100
Sin: 32 + 36 = 68
Calypso: 27 + 0 = 27
Amachi: 0 + 0 = 0
TOTAL: 95/3 = 32/100
And the winner is...
BIRNA, CASCADE and MERCY! Sin and Amachi must give up by either submitting, fleeing, or passing out.
Damage:
Birna:
- Moderate bruising to ribs – 3 ooc days
- Moderate bite to flank – 1 ooc week
Sin:
- Severe bruising to right shoulder – 1 ooc week
- Light bruising to neck – 1 ooc day
Cascade:
Mercy:
- Light bruising – 1 ooc day
Notes:
Tips for writing and some suggestions. (no points are deducted here):
For Lunar/Tea/Eve: Good fight guys! Nothing to note except how much I hate melees!
For Team Dragon: You kinda got screwed in this fight and that really sucks. My only suggestion is to pick more reliable teammates next time. My notes are in the deductions above. Better luck next time!
- By [Lazuli]
