Laying Down My Sword [Hattori]

Áskell watched the raindrops strike the puddle, sending ripples through it and disturbing his reflection. He lay just inside his den, watching the rain with one paw out to catch a few drops. Ari lay a hand on his shoulders and this time he did not shrug it away. It had been nearly a season since the attack and while most of his injuries had healed there was one he was not making any more progress with. Where the vicious bitch had grabbed his spine and shaken him there had been irreparable damage. He could still stand and walk, but his stamina was greatly depleted. His hind legs would only hold him so far before they would collapse beneath him. He could manage a fight, maybe two, before his own body cast him to the ground.

Áskell could no longer manage a full patrol, he could not even manage looping around the external border of the maze before his hind legs started to shake to the point he was almost dragging himself back to his den. Weak, so weak. He felt almost like a pup. He could not even hunt for himself any more. Áskell grit his teeth, eyes squeezing shut. He'd built his life around being a warrior and now? What use was he? What good was he to this pack? He felt he was barely fit for fodder.

Ari's hand left his shoulder for a moment and when he opened his eyes he saw the macaque set down a bowl of tea next to him. "Áskell, please, speak to me. Do not keep all of this within. My uncle had a saying, 'Acid does more harm on the vessel it’s stored, than on the subject it’s poured'. You continue to damage yourself by marinating in your anger and self-pity."

Áskell snarled then bit his lip before exhaling with a deep sigh. "Come now, Ari, you already know what is on my mind. I can no longer serve Tojo as a warrior. I can not serve them as a hunter. I can not serve them as a scout. I can not serve them as a healer for I know nothing of that practice and am too old to learn. What use am I to anyone? Give me a reason I should not throw myself into the ocean and give this pack one less concern."

Ari paused for a moment. Then bopped Áskell on the head with the chasen for the tea. "You are being foolish! You want to know your biggest problem, Áskell? You think you're a prisoner of this life. You're angry, understandably so, you've been angry for a long time. Blaming everyone and everything you can for your problems, feeling sorry for yourself for the cards like has dealt you. You think you have no control of your destiny. You still have total control of your destiny!" A hint of desperation colored Ari's voice. He'd looked after this man ever since he was a pup and he couldn't stand to see him wasting away like this.

"You have lived five years, you have learned much in your time on fighting and on crafting. I have seen you make fire, clay bowls and beads, ceramics, pine pitch, hide bags and jewelry, sun dials, numerous forms of weaponry. How many wolves can do such things?" The macaque moved to sit in front of him, staring him right in the face. "There are pups that need teaching. Share your knowledge, make it your purpose to pass on what you know. That is how you can serve the pack."

Ari held the chasen up in his face and gave Áskell a sharp look. "Adversity, is a horrible thing… to waste. Within every challenge in life there's an opportunity. You just need to find it." Ari turned from the wolf andwalked deeper into the den to clean the chasen, leaving Áskell to look back out at the rain.

———

After a time the rain let up and the tea had been drunk. He could see a warm glow behind the clouds, hinting that the sun might yet make an appearance today. Áskell had taken Ari's words to heart, contemplating on them, wrestling with his inner demons and his anger in a quiet but high stakes battle until finally he got to his feet and headed outside to call for Hattori. It was time to make a decision. His hind legs shook a bit but he stood firm, tipping his head and calling for his leader.