Basilisk grabbed some hot tea and snacks, and trotted up to the First Light Point, where Hazel was on patrol. A fresh blanket of snow had fallen the night before, and the chill still hung heavily in the air. Traversing the trek up without spilling the hot liquid was no easy task, but he managed to succeed. He found Hazel sitting at the watchpost and made his way over without saying a word. He knew something had been bothering her lately, but he trusted her to tell him what it was when she was ready. Was it nightmares about her dad again?

He poured a hot drink for Hazel, spiking it with just a hint of mead. Not enough to affect a wolf on duty, but to add a little warmth to the drink. He pulled the treats out of his bag next, laying it out between them. “All quiet?” He asked, referring to the watch.

"Speech"

"Speech"

Winter is the most difficult season. Filled with ghosts, with snow, with hardship. Hazel relies on the harsh northern weather and the busywork it brings. Reclused in her own head... busy. She would keep busy, keep her walls up, keep her blinders on. Throwing herself into work, and leaving little space for anything else. It's the only way to keep her head above water. Ignoring the exhaustion that has long settled into her bones... that's a problem for spring-Hazel. Yes, when spring comes, she'll be different.

Same shit, different year. Don't remind her that she swore she'd rest last spring, don't remind her that she only kept going. Don't remind her just how tired she was. Hazel can't take those reminders, right now. Self doubt creeping back in around the edges, what else is new?

It's during the later stretch of her watch, that Basilisk comes and sits beside her. Company was good, from Bas? Even better. Stretching, trying to shake some of the stiffness from her neck and shoulders, as she turns her head to peer at him. "For now." Taking a grateful sip of the warm drink, allowing it to fend off some of the wintry chill from the inside out. "Something stirred up a herd of deer, maybe an hour ago. Didn't see what, but they were nearly done running by the time they passed anyway." She shrugged.

"This is a nice surprise." Tone grateful, though her gaze flicks back to the horizon. Reclusive as she's been, perhaps it's not for the best. Her winter habits are, maybe, unhealthy.

Hazel, The General

table coding by bunni ♥

Hazel stretched out when he arrived, and he gave her a fond smile. He felt like it had been one thing after another since they had taken over the Armada. From Kite’s betrayal and challenge, and subsequent poaching of two wolves, to the council meeting, to his injuries suffered at the hands of the bear, and Charlie’s disappearance. He was putting out fires everywhere he turned around, and he was afraid of the stress it was putting on their relationship. On Hazel, who to him felt as if she was withdrawing from him.

Hazel gave a report, and he nodded his head. Knowing she would have picked up on it if it was something to worry about. “I thought some quiet time up here would be nice.” He explained. He took a sip from his own drink, feeling the difference in its warmth to the air around him. He didn’t want to pester her, he knew that her demons were not easy ones to face. He only hoped she would tell, if she needed to share the burden.

"Speech"

"Speech"

Withdrawal season. Winter. Hazel's shoulders ached with it, along with her head. It's too loud in here, too heavy. Wrapping herself in the noise, letting it take over... bad habits. All of them bad habits, and all of them taking hold. The drinking, the isolation, the dwelling. She hasn't been sleeping well, taking to wandering instead. Though trouble hadn't yet found her in those wanderings, there's nothing to say it won't. The winter woods are dark, full of terrors. Hazel knows them better than most, even if she's that terror herself, sometimes.

Her gaze far away, resting on the horizon line. Like if she stares hard enough, maybe she'll be able to make out the little white wolf that had taken a piece of her upon going away. Halo's departure had been harder on Hazel than she'd like to admit. She's an adult. She's an adult. The heartbreak of losing both parents all over again has taken a far deeper toll than she'd admit, leaving her emotional and raw and reclusive. Putting herself away so she doesn't hurt the ones she loves who remain.

Taking a long sip from the warm drink, allowing it to melt some of chill in her stomach. It's a long time before Hazel speaks, and when she does, the words are quiet. Voice smaller, shakier than what's typical of the general. "Do you think Halo is okay?" One of the things that's been heavy on her mind, maybe the easiest to give voice to. Hazel feels an awful lot like she's been orphaned all over again.

Hazel, The General

table coding by bunni ♥

Basilisk watched her quietly, without giving the impression he was doing so. He knew that she was stronger than her demons, even if she was less sure of that. He knew the strength of her, had seen it throughout their life. He took a sip of his own tea, letting it replace what the cool air had taken away. “Halo? She's resourceful, and brave when she has to be. Besides, she took Warden with her and he's a scrapper. You know he won't let anyone hurt our Halo.” He said lightly, though he missed her too. Missed her something awful. 


There were nights when he woke up and thought of sneaking to her den for a late night snack, and her silent understanding. Before he woke enough to remember that she wouldn't be there. She had filled the places in his heart his own parents had never bothered to. Halo was like that, to anyone who needed her. She had raised Hazel and Basilisk both. Taken them on when their own parents had wanted them.

There's something far away, and only getting farther.  She's on watch, she's not going to cry up here, on the ledge.  Winter is a time for crisis, a time to be on the metaphorical ledge too.  Winter is the worst of all, and it's the first one she's had to handle on her own. 

Tucking her tail tightly around herself, Hazel's gaze doesn't leave the horizon.  She's still on watch.  Perhaps the queen of it is what it ising herself into the dirt, but what else is new?  Bas's words are the same truths she's repeated to herself over and over, reminders that are already filled with her teeth, her claws, while she tries to cling.  No news is good news, right? 

She's always been great at lying to herself. 

If it takes delusion to get herself through the winter, so be it.  Hazel curls up tightly, though she refuses to drop her gaze.  Putting her head down, sticking to her damn job... it's the only thing she's done since Halo and Sirius have been gone.  "It feels like being abandoned all over again."  Her tone lacks the bitterness that usually comes with thoughts of her biological parents, it's something else. Hurt, fear too.

Abandoned. While Hazel knows it's not the case, she allows herself to speak freely, this time. Rarely does she actually talk about her feelings.  Though she knows the context has an impact on that word, and that it should have an impact on the feelings that come with it.

Fuck. 

Hazel, The General

table coding by bunni ♥

Basilisk let out a soft, long sigh. Thinking of his own parents, of Azure who had turned his back on the pack. Of Hanako, who had taken the distraction of the flood as a chance to flee. While their wolves were panicking, and drowning, she had walked away. She didn’t wait to see if her own children made it out alive. Halo was one of the rare ones. One of the good ones. There was no obligation to her love, nothing you had to do to earn it. She simply loved you. He hadn’t had the close relationship with Sirius that Hazel had had, but he wished he’d had a little more guidance from the old man before he had left.

“I know.” He said quietly, and he did. He felt it all, knew the messed up wolves that they had come from. “Hazel…” he let out a soft breath. Emotions weren’t his strong suit. He probably had his messed up parents to thank for that. “You're my best friend. Promise… promise you won’t let your demons chase you away. Emotionally, physically. Anything.” he said softly, looking at his tea.

"Speech"

"Speech"