Jay couldn't breathe.

Since her father's death, everything was a blur. It was her fault, she knew that deep in her bones- she was stupid to leave home in the first place. If she hadn't, he wouldn't have come looking for her. If she hadn't, he wouldn't be dead.

She'd only sequestered herself briefly in Avalon's lands. All she wanted was to curl up with one of her siblings, but she realized all at once that Finch was still nowhere to be found. That realization, on top of everything else, was too much to handle. Bordering on catatonic, Jay begrudgingly pulled herself out of her den and started walking.

Even the relatively warm autumn weather did nothing to lighten her mood. Her paws carried her slowly away from home, to the rolling hills beyond. A place she'd once loved, now made her feel... nothing.

It was hard to shake the numbness, but once she finally did she found herself overwhelmed with panic. Slowing as she neared the crest of one of the many hills, she realized her breath was coming in shallow, fast succession. No matter how hard she tried she couldn't seem to slow the panic that suddenly overtook her. Her eyes were brimming with tears and she felt her chest constricting painfully as she tried to get her breathing under control, to no avail.

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Empousa was worried, and it was an odd feeling for the woman to experience. Her care was not usually given so freely, but the earthen colored woman she had spent a whole day with, traveled to an island with and spoke to with no fear of having her words and memories used against her, had changed her just a little. She drew herself past Jay's homelands, where she was going to call for her, to offer her support, condolences, whatever she needed. But as she had approached the border she could scent Jay on the wind and ground and decided to follow her tracks instead, walking briskly until she saw Jay's form on the horizon. Em felt sad, genuinely sad for the girl before her. And she did not know what to say, her mind reeled at the revelation that for once she was speechless. But she wanted to be there for Jay, she had been so kind, so undeserving to see her father suffer such a gruesome fate. Paws landed just a smidge more heavily as she got closer to Jay, not wanting to startle the poor girl. "I'm here for you if you wish for anything," she said softly, leaning her head down to brush her muzzle against the girl's neck and cheek if she let her. If she needed a hug, Empousa would give it, if she needed anything, she would try and give it. Right now, for once, she does not care about herself but instead about Jay. It was odd, but she didn't dwell on her care for the girl right now, it was not the time to. "I am sorry Jay, I know the pain of loss is overwhelming." she continued after a while, sitting on her haunches beside the girl. Her eyes never left Jay, and oddly enough just for once Empousa's eyes seemed to shine with an unforgettable sadness for the girl before her. She knew at the end of the day, no words could really fix the sadness and grief that Jay could be experiencing. "Speach"

Jay's breaths came in shallow, rapid succession, hardly slowing even when she saw someone approaching in her peripheral vision. Everything besides what she was immediately focused on seemed to blur into nonexistence as she became acutely aware of her ragged breathing and steady pounding of her heart. It took a long while for her to register Em's approach, let alone react to it. Even though she moved with intention, not wanting to startle her, being touched still made Jay flinch. Her head spun faster than she could even begin to process. "I don't- I don't need-" she sputtered, struggling to speak through the panic. She didn't need anyone. She didn't deserve anyone, or anything. Certainly not warmth or compassion, not after what she'd done. Her feelings were too tumultuous to sort through right now, whirling like a hurricane through her head. The self-loathing she felt only grew as she tried to steady her breathing. "I don't- want to- talk about it," the brown-furred woman managed to choke out after along moment. Her gaze purposefully avoided Empousa's, fixing on a spot of ground near her forepaws. Still she struggled to catch her breath, the tightness in her chest growing with each moment that passed. "I don't think I'm feeling very well," she finally squeaked out, feeling suddenly faint.

Empousa was not usually one to dwindle on subjects that could be so exhausting, death and all the sorrow-filled emotions that came with it were hard to navigate. Honestly, Emmie usually did not care enough for another person to even want to help. But, as her crimson-colored eyes focused upon the shaking form of the earthen-colored dame before her she couldn't turn away from her. As Jay tried to talk she earned another sad yet not quite pitiful look from the tan lady, a gentle yet sad sigh escaped her maw as she aimed to pull the girl into her embrace. Her paw reached to rub soft circles upon Jay's back, in hopes of helping her calm down just a bit. "Breathe, you won't do yourself or me any good if you pass out sweetheart." her voice came out softer than usual, carrying a gentleness few earned from Empousa.

"You do not need to speak of it, I will not pry. I know enough to assume what could possibly be going through that head of yours." she tried to soothe her, she knew she was not quite skilled in this area. The connections she did form were never quite this emotional, she had never let them become so. Emotions were fickle things, they controlled many things in the world. Empousa herself had her moments, outbursts she could not control. But hers were often followed by rage, violence, and an unsatiable need for something that nothing could provide. Silence.

Her head tilted slightly, gaze softening at the sight of the woman before her. "I truly hope you are not blaming yourself for that day, the outcome is not something you could have predicted. Nor is it something you can change now by worrying yourself half to death." she paused, trying to find the right words to soften her rant, "Grief is overwhelming, losing someone you care for or love is hard. Dealing with it and accepting it is even harder. But you are not alone, and the one on the beach, your father who protected you, I can only assume he would not wish for you to be blaming yourself for all of this." she spoke gently, aiming to bring her paw up to the girl's face, aiming to pull her face up so their gazes would meet. "I know right now no words will bring you peace of mind, this feeling will linger in your chest for a long time. But what you can do right now is take a deep breath and focus on me for a moment, I meant what I said earlier I would prefer if you did not pass out on me." Reassurance was definitely not Empousa's strong suit at all, but she was still trying.

Though she initially flinched at the contact, she found herself comforted by the other woman's embrace. Being in the company of others had always calmed her. Her breathing still ragged, it seemed to slow slightly as she leaned into Empousa. She didn't feel quite like she was present though, even if the physical contact helped ground her. As she leaned into her Jay found herself zoning out, her eyes glazing over as she focused at a spot near her paws. It was all she could do to focus on breathing at a normal rate so she didn't risk passing out. Empousa kept speaking, trying to comfort her. "I don't- I can't-" Jay managed to choke out, a sob catching in her throat. Was she blaming herself? Of course she was, but those thoughts felt private somehow, not something she felt like sharing with anyone else. The burden of guilt was hers and hers alone, not a weight for someone else to carry. The panic seemed to ebb to a crawl, still present but manageable now, after a few long moments of steadying herself and listening to Empousa. She wasn't wrong. Her father wouldn't want her to blame herself for this, even if did place any blame on her. It didn't matter now, though, not with him gone, not with her mother gone, not with nearly all her siblings gone- swept away like a leaf on the wind. Her chest felt heavy. A few final tears trailed down her cheeks as she managed to meet the other woman's gaze, at least for a moment before falling away again. "It's not fair," she managed finally. Abruptly she seemed to collect herself, sniffing hard and trying to straighten out her posture. "T-thank you for listening. I promise I'm not always so..." Jay gave a nondescript gesture with her paw, waving it toward herself. Still she felt numb, but at least the tightness in her chest was beginning to loosen, though it still hurt just the same.