Say Something...

*Recluse* · Updated 04/30/23:

The way Ghoul called her mama broke Recluse's heart. She'd left them all alone, her beloved children, and she wasn't sure she'd ever truly forgive herself for that. Ruby gaze met cherry and the woman couldn't help the smile that genuinely split her face, tears prickling at the back of her eyes. Figured that'd be a sensation she'd get even while here. She shook her head in answer to his question. ”No love, you are not dead.” There was a tinge of sadness to her voice. He was not the dead one here.

And then her boy was rushing forward and wrapping himself around her. Recluse had to blink away her shock, the strong, ambitious son she'd known in life had never showed vulnerability like this. But her lapse was all but a second, then her forelimbs rose to wraps around him, hold him. He didn't feel quite right in her arms, like his outline kept shifting. The message was clear, they could touch but her form wasn't as solid as it had been in life, a reminder it was transient. ”I know love, I miss you too.” She wasn't capable of higher emotions like that all the time, but when any of her loved ones brushed close... She was filled with a longing for them, a desire to get to see them, hold them, speak to them again. Recluse felt Ghoul pulling back slightly and she leaned back to let him look at her and she him in return. He looked fine? Maybe a little ruffled and she wasn't sure if that scar on his cheek had been there when she'd last seen him... Her memories of much of her life were hazy, as if seen from a distance. A distance that let her see all her mistakes more objectively.

The question she'd been expecting was choked out, followed by mumbled words that felt like they stabbed right into her very core. ”No Ghoul.” She said softly as he pushed back into her and Recluse tried to hold him tighter, as if doing so would make him understand how much she meant her words. ”I am so proud of you. I will always be proud of you.” It wasn't any of their faults she'd let her own ego blind her to the threat within her own home, it wasn't any of their faults that she'd been the one to let her into their midsts and expose them all to danger. Her children had been innocent in all this, simply collateral caught up in her mess. They hadn't deserved any of this. ”It wasn't anyone's fault but mine.” She pulled back slightly, a paw lifting to cup his scarred cheek and try to get him to look her in the eye. ”I love you.” She needed him to know that. She hadn't gotten a chance to tell any of her kids that before her death, she'd be damned if she was going to let this chance slip past. Still too late, but better than never at all. Ghoul had never been perfect but he'd been hers, and that was enough for him to be precious to her.

Recluse didn't want to ruin the moment by putting what had happened to her into words. But she also didn't know how much time they had and if Ghoul wanted that information she would not keep it from him. Slowly, gently, she pulled herself away from Ghoul; instinctively knowing that if he refused to let her go she'd phase through him, her form could not be contained by anything but this place itself. Recluse stood before her son, looked him over and a bittersweet smile pulled at her lips. Seeing him again was painful at the same time it filled her with love. ”Your brother, Imp, had gone missing... I tried to track him. His trail led me to a woman, one I'd never met before. She'd taken him Ghoul, I had lost so many of you to... and I couldn't lose another child! ” Recluse's voice lifted in distress, as she felt the feeling of fear she'd had then wash over her again. She couldn't bring herself to say the name of the woman that had taken everything from her. The anger she'd once felt, the pure rage was only a low rumbling in her mind now. What point was there in spite in death? One of her mistakes had been letting her anger drive her... Spite, Revenge... All it caused was a cycle of pain, of violence. One more of her mistakes that had served only to hurt her children... Her husband... As she continued she screwed her eyes shut, fur standing on end and muzzle wrinkling as if she was physically reliving the moment. ”She'd been ready, she'd been expecting me. I never saw it coming.” Slowly she seemed to settle, eyes opening again. ”One bite was all it took.” For a moment she looked as she had at the moment of her death, bedraggled, her throat torn open and blood staining her chin, the front of her body and forelegs pink. It hadn't been a purposeful manifestation, she wasn't even sure if she'd been the one to do it but it passed after only a few seconds and she was clean and whole one more; she hadn't reacted in any pain, it was only a memory. ”I'm sorry. I never meant to leave any of you.” Recluse dropped her head. ”I'm the one that failed all of you.”

”Speech” ’Thought’

Thread Move Log
Thread		Forum	From	To
1.	Say Something...	Somnium	06:39 PM, 09-01-2023	04:54 PM, 01-29-2024

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