Is this really who we are?

Gilgamesh · 12-21-2023, 02:27 PM

Gilgamesh was anything but ignorant. He saw the hurt flash across her face. Saw how she barely held it together as he stood over her. He would not back down though. There was no soft, loving, father figure in that moment as he braced for whatever left her mouth next. For all that he had done wrong, he had never expected his own daughter to turn on him. To place all of the blame on him instead of seeing others for who they truly were. Was she really so caught up in her own head that she didn't see the big picture? How were they to expand and to become bigger and better without antagonizing others every once in awhile? Perhaps he should have included her more. Shown her the ropes. Revealed the secret behind the curtain. Maybe then his daughter would have a single fucking clue what he was planning.

Yet, it appeared, as she started speaking without breaking eye contact, that she was the one who simply did not care. It was as if his words meant nothing to her as she continued to insult him. Though she had a point about Ignis, he would ignore that for now. They would not converse about others when they were the ones at issue currently. He also almost laughs. Started this? Ah, Flurry, what a silly little child she was. Gil had started nothing. He had only continued it for the fact that he wanted to make others happy. Raiding other packs was purely for resources, the other additional shenanigans had been to appease Sparrow, claim the archipelago for Modesty, take the isle for his pups. Had she not realized that he was just a big fucking simp before anything else?

And there it is. A reason to laugh. Done worse? The chuckle reverberates through his chest. The Raiders had done nothing as bad as the Armada had done. Had Sirius not alluded to the fact that he had also stabbed Deluge? Had been the one to disown his own son for having feelings for Deluge? And from the sounds of it, from what Flurry said, didn't even give a shit to go looking for his own second in command. How did Flurry ever believe that the Warlord was better than her own father? Gil's chuckle fades to a growl, a noise deep in his chest that is furious and instinctual. If she didn't stop while she was ahead, she wouldn't be seeing these siblings she cared so much for for much longer.

Still, he remains silent. Even as she begins to break. That fragile dam cracking and leaking as he saw her facade weaken. At least she had gotten one thing correct. Going to the Armada without his knowledge, without his permission, had been an incorrect move. Foolish, stupid, and downright idiotic. What was she thinking was going to happen upon her return? He would jump for joy that she had gotten the Warlord to lie right to her face? Did she truly believe Sirius Fatalis gave a shit about anyone but himself?

Another reason to laugh. The kids more observant than they gave credit for? Actual bull shit. He did everything knowing they knew. If he had wanted to hide shit, he would have hidden it. He would have gone behind closed doors and been a hell of a lot more secretive about it. But he didn't care if they knew. Unlike the man she apparently held so highly on a pedestal. But then she says something that is absolutely so untrue, the snarl ripping from his throat nearly drowns out her words about her brothers. How did she not realize that he didn't favor Scald so much less than herself that he was willing to offer him up over her? Why the fuck would he be so stupid as to offer the "favorite" as she liked to think over the one he deemed the Scion? Was his daughter that ignorant? Did she not remember what Scald's title was?

Gil wants to interject. His blood boils as she continues down a slippery slope into absolutely stupidity. Fourth favorite? Man, the girl had really deluded herself into thinking that she wasn't the favorite, didn't she? Even as she snips and harps on about how she was doing it for the new ones. The ones that would never replace his first litter. The pups that couldn't possibly ever hold a candle to the flame that Flurry herself held. She had no idea of the one who hadn't even made it. Jett had never been told to the litter. The pain he still held in his heart for the one pup they couldn't keep alive burned hot and bright every day.

His teeth grind together. Hoping, no willing Flurry to shut up. Her words dig daggers into his skin as he continues to stand over Flurry. Fury and pain laces his features as he doesn't dare back down. He continues to stare back as she looks away, finally submitting and allowing the words to die down. Would she finally listen? Or would he be talking to a brick wall once more? Were her delusions that grand that she cared not for the actual truth that he was speaking to her? Gil can't help but sigh. The silence now deafening and dampening his rage. She didn't deserve any hatred he held toward the outside world because all he had ever done was try to build a better life for them.

"How can you not see that I want nothing but good for you and your siblings? Scald and Rexx chose their own paths. I had hoped they would want to step up one day, but they showed from a young age, they cared not for leadership. Deluge has always been and will always be the thorn in my side. Abraxas help her. But you? Flurry Fallen? My one daughter that stuck around through it all? Through the pain, the turmoil, the drama, the chaotic events that have led us to this? Why do you think I made you Scion and not the others? The others were simply the brawn to your brains and yet, here you are, wallowing in self-pity because you've decided to tell yourself otherwise," Gil scoffs, taking a step back and finally looking away. Truthfully, he is ashamed of the behavior his daughter has presented him.

"Who I was before I stepped up is no longer a character in my story. I worked and did what was necessary to appease Sparrow so I could one day take over from her. What I did was not always the best choice, but it was a choice I made so we could have all of this," he lifts a paw and waves it around to mean both the archipelago and the isle. "I became Raid King so that my pups could have a safe home. A place where there was no longer any danger from outside threats. I placed my pups where I knew they belonged in the pack because I pay attention. I keep tabs, I do my gods best to do right by my pups. And yet, you have spent the past conversation trying to tell me otherwise," Gil lets out another rumbling growl, deep in his chest, as he digs his nails into the sand beneath him. Why did she have to try every nerve of patience he had left?

"We are both at fault, but you have taken steps backward that I am now unsure I can trust you. I have never played favorites, as much as you'd like to tell yourself I do. I speak not for your mother because she is more volatile than she cares to admit. I have tried and if that is not good enough for you then leave. If you care once ounce for the pack, for our family, for the future, for me, you'll do what is right," he finally looks back to her, still standing so close that he can see the individual hairs upon her body. He ached to be the father she wanted. To hold her, comfort her, to lull her to sleep as he had when she was a pup. But she was a grown adult now and had made choices that she either would face truthfully or regret. Gil would not shadow her from those actions as he did not shadow his own. He never was and never had been a good man. He had not been raised to be as such, but he would always do as necessary for his own family. Up until recently, he had only done what he had believed to be what was good for his family.

After a few moments of silence, staring down at his daughter that he so wished would come to reality, he leaned down and pressed his muzzle to her forehead. Closing his eyes, allowing those emotions that soared through him to present as wetness along his lashes, he sighed. "What do you want from me?" Gil whispered, not defeated, but also not wishing for his life to crumble in front of his own eyes.

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1.	Is this really who we are?	Dove Island Archipelago	01:59 PM, 12-14-2023	02:06 PM, 02-01-2024

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Is this really who we are?

Daddy Dearest

Gilgamesh