Here's to the memories that make me fucking sick...

Bellamy · 01-31-2024, 07:17 PM

The weight of her past is heavy, crushing down upon the older woman as she sits there in the sunlight. Mind churning, worry gnawing at her gut as everything catches up with her. Those who have seen what happened will have questions… especially her daughter. As the Leader of Ethne, Haydée would need to know why she had gone all out against a child. But… just because a wolf knew what caused an action… didn’t make it an excusable one. The wind blows against her, and, in time, another joins her. Without even looking down at her daughter Bellamy knows it is her little girl. A heavy sigh passes her lips, the far off look in her eyes saddened. There is so much she needs to tell her… things she hasn’t wanted to face. Things she never wanted her children to know. It makes her heart ache… but hiding the information now would only do more harm than good.

“I had hoped that this day would never come, that I would never need to expose the horrific truths of the world I came from to you kids.” There was remorse in her tone, a heaviness and sincerity of a wolf who was also hurting. “That was the whole point of your father and I trying to join a pack… and my eventual rise to leadership. I wanted to give you all a world where you would never have to experience anything I had gone through… or face the cruelties this world had to offer.” Her gaze fell, her ears laying flat against her skull. “I should have realized when your father was murdered that was all just… a hopeless dream. The desperate ideals of a mother wanting to shield her children from the world…” She takes a breath, expelling it heavily before she continues.

“Haydée… I have mentioned your father’s family briefly, and the Empire they held in Lyenne…” Her tone shifts, the heaviness of the topic making her pause. Wanting to hesitate. The last thing she wants is for her children to potentially blame Gavroche for what happened to her. He had been a victim, just as she had. “The Kedieo Empire, led by the Empress Keno, was… not kind. Much like the man who took your father away… they cared only for their own… and anyone against them…” She trailed off, gaze turning toward the forest in the distance. For several long moments Bellamy was silent, her body trembling ever so slightly.

“I was a child, barely out of the den when the Enforcers came. There had been an accident - a cave in - that separated us from one of my sisters. Analise was trapped, and my mother and father were trying to dig her out when they approached. They… demanded my parents give me and Rosemary over to them, to serve in the Empire.” She closed her eyes. “...and insured my parents would receive a quick death for complying…” She let the words hang in the air for another long moment.

“My father refused, of course. We were just children… he and my mother tried to defend us… but they were smaller than the Enforcers… weaker… and being loners… there would have been no one to aid them.” The femme swallowed hard. “I watched my parents get torn apart… and then… my sister attempted to avenge them.” A shudder passed through her, her gaze falling to the earth as she opened her eyes, tears pricking them. “Age… age didn’t matter. They killed her, as if they were just catching a rabbit…” The woman’s claws dug into the earth.

“I was too afraid to stand up to them. I was taken… and I wasn’t the only one. Many children, the children of those who resisted the Empire, were brought together. A child army… a.. Disposable army.” Her voice became quieter. “You did what you were told… unless you wanted to face beatings, starvation, or death. When we began sneaking into the camps of the rebels… it was with the orders to kill them as they slept. If you were caught, you were on your own. Those who… those who were badly injured…” She narrowed her eyes. “...they were left to die. No one cared for your existence… It didn’t matter if you were a child… you weren’t anything more than a slave.” She spat the last word, her anger mingling as she remembered those days. So much pain… so many faces… come and gone…

At last Bellamy looked toward her daughter, the look in her eyes haunted. “What happened at the raid… happened before, in another, when I was about your age now.” The woman explained. “Alongside Acere of Winterfell, the first wolf to give me a chance. I went for a maim then too.” She sighed heavily. “The battlefield… doesn’t stay as it is for long…” Her gaze lifts skyward, brow furrowing as she herself tries to make sense of it. “It’s… it's like I’m there… and not… battling those as a wolf of Ethne… and fighting for my life as a child… at the same time…” Another pause, the heaviness of her posture lingering.

“You… you should release me from the pack, before those wolves come seeking retribution.” Her words were quiet again. “Ethne will be a target for my actions if you harbor me, Hay…” Again her gaze strayed, back to the lands beyond Ethne. “...and those who harbor a monster… will face guilt by association…” It all came forth like a rush of water. The dam that had been holding all of this back was gone… and now that she had to face it… Bellamy felt older than ever. If time could not heal that damage… then what could?

"Speech," 'Thought.'

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1.	Here's to the memories that make me fucking sick...	Lazuli Falls	02:00 PM, 01-29-2024	07:50 PM, 03-18-2024

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Here's to the memories that make me fucking sick...

Haydee

Bellamy