Bellamy had no idea how much time passed when she finally opened her green eyes. She was alone in her den, body aching… she could smell the herbs and poultices used on her injuries. She felt like shit physically… and mentally she could picture the figure of the girl that she had tossed in the raid. A heavy sigh passed her lips. It had finally happened. She had slipped… perhaps past the point of no return. Though no, Bellamy reminded herself. This wasn’t the first time she’d been here, was it? As much as she had tried to pretend, to cover the truth of bloodied past… it had caught up with her. It was staring her in the face and, before long, even her own children would know the truth of the monster she had been. That she was. Maybe they would turn her away in disgust after that… she didn’t know. With a grunt the old woman forced herself to her paws. Everything felt stiff. She felt her age now more than ever. Maybe more than that. A glance was given to the bloodied snow leopard cape that was drying from the rain on the other end of the den. Her gaze would slide to the cubbies that Gavroche had once used for storing herbs… to the unoccupied beds of her companions. What had they told Bae-Syl? She was surprised he hadn’t just… ended it. That was their pact, wasn’t it? Did he still think there was a chance she could come back from this? Bellamy closed her eyes. If only she could. It felt like the weight of her past had settled over her like a smothering blanket… “It was wrong of me to ever expect to change.” Her heart felt heavy, memories fading in and out with her other racing thoughts as slow, quiet pawsteps lead her out of the den. She had never wanted her children to become aware of what she was capable of. Of the things she had done in the means of survival… but… there had always been a choice, hadn’t there? She was a coward. Perhaps if she had just stood beside her sister against the men that stole her family… none of this would have needed to happen. It happened because she had been weak. Scared. Why was killing the easy way out? A scoff left her lips… a life of delusion. A life of lies. To herself. To Gav. To her children. Bellamy made herself out to the front of the pool, the falls roaring behind her as she sat in the pale afternoon sunlight. Thick clouds still gathered in the skies, threatening to bring more rain later. Wind still danced across the territory… a wind that she barely felt. Bellamy’s gaze seemed far off as she gazed across the land before her. Karma… her ears fell back against her skull. It wouldn’t be the first time she’d acted against an innocent, had it? No, just another number and face in a sea of countless ones. Her whole life had been spent fighting, maiming, and killing… and one day she was sure that would be what brought about her death as well. A sigh left her. …and maybe… she should leave before that costs her family everything. "Speech," 'Thought.'

Since the raid, Haydée has slept… very little at best. She had pushed her body to the limits, staying up for over twenty-four hours to try and mitigate damage and assess everything that needed to be done after. The talk with Bae-Syl had kept her awake and the visit from Artorias had been welcome but that meant little time for her brain to spool down and find slumber. In fact, when she did finally pass out, it wasn’t on her nice, comfortable bed of furs but slumped over her desk on top of a pile of papers. Oh well, at least she washed the mud and grit from her coat before collapsing.

A sound suddenly tugs at her mind pulling her brain back into the waking realm with such frustrating ease. Blinking heavily, Haydée casts her exhausted gaze about for the source of the noise that had awaken her and finds that the candles mark the passing of only a couple hours. Grumbling softly, she lowers her head back to the desk and hears the furs to her mother’s door shift and the older woman’s paw steps retreat down the tunnel. The young woman is instantly wide awake, scrubbing the sleep from her eyes and smoothing down the fur that is sticking out on her cheek.

Taking a deep breath, she shifts aside the fur barrier to her own den and quickly pads after her mother, knowing that they have much to discuss. The afternoon light causes her to wince as she emerges from the tunnels as the begins of a migraine begin to poke the area behind her right eye. Since the statue Gods had visited in her first year of life, Hay has been prone to the horrible things and even the heavily obscured light is enough to cause her pain.

Still, she does not let it deter her from the task at paw, knowing she only has fault to blame for the pain, and she quietly moves to mother’s side by the pool. Without a sound, she folds her haunches, coming to sit lightly on the ground as she looks out over the still surface. There are no words spoken, not yet anyway, as she simply sits there and silently offers her mother support. When Bellamy feels like it, she will talk and Haydée will be there to listen.


"Haydée Kedieo"

The weight of her past is heavy, crushing down upon the older woman as she sits there in the sunlight. Mind churning, worry gnawing at her gut as everything catches up with her. Those who have seen what happened will have questions… especially her daughter. As the Leader of Ethne, Haydée would need to know why she had gone all out against a child. But… just because a wolf knew what caused an action… didn’t make it an excusable one. The wind blows against her, and, in time, another joins her. Without even looking down at her daughter Bellamy knows it is her little girl. A heavy sigh passes her lips, the far off look in her eyes saddened. There is so much she needs to tell her… things she hasn’t wanted to face. Things she never wanted her children to know. It makes her heart ache… but hiding the information now would only do more harm than good. “I had hoped that this day would never come, that I would never need to expose the horrific truths of the world I came from to you kids.” There was remorse in her tone, a heaviness and sincerity of a wolf who was also hurting. “That was the whole point of your father and I trying to join a pack… and my eventual rise to leadership. I wanted to give you all a world where you would never have to experience anything I had gone through… or face the cruelties this world had to offer.” Her gaze fell, her ears laying flat against her skull. “I should have realized when your father was murdered that was all just… a hopeless dream. The desperate ideals of a mother wanting to shield her children from the world…” She takes a breath, expelling it heavily before she continues. “Haydée… I have mentioned your father’s family briefly, and the Empire they held in Lyenne…” Her tone shifts, the heaviness of the topic making her pause. Wanting to hesitate. The last thing she wants is for her children to potentially blame Gavroche for what happened to her. He had been a victim, just as she had. “The Kedieo Empire, led by the Empress Keno, was… not kind. Much like the man who took your father away… they cared only for their own… and anyone against them…” She trailed off, gaze turning toward the forest in the distance. For several long moments Bellamy was silent, her body trembling ever so slightly. “I was a child, barely out of the den when the Enforcers came. There had been an accident - a cave in - that separated us from one of my sisters. Analise was trapped, and my mother and father were trying to dig her out when they approached. They… demanded my parents give me and Rosemary over to them, to serve in the Empire.” She closed her eyes. “...and insured my parents would receive a quick death for complying…” She let the words hang in the air for another long moment. “My father refused, of course. We were just children… he and my mother tried to defend us… but they were smaller than the Enforcers… weaker… and being loners… there would have been no one to aid them.” The femme swallowed hard. “I watched my parents get torn apart… and then… my sister attempted to avenge them.” A shudder passed through her, her gaze falling to the earth as she opened her eyes, tears pricking them. “Age… age didn’t matter. They killed her, as if they were just catching a rabbit…” The woman’s claws dug into the earth. “I was too afraid to stand up to them. I was taken… and I wasn’t the only one. Many children, the children of those who resisted the Empire, were brought together. A child army… a.. Disposable army.” Her voice became quieter. “You did what you were told… unless you wanted to face beatings, starvation, or death. When we began sneaking into the camps of the rebels… it was with the orders to kill them as they slept. If you were caught, you were on your own. Those who… those who were badly injured…” She narrowed her eyes. “...they were left to die. No one cared for your existence… It didn’t matter if you were a child… you weren’t anything more than a slave.” She spat the last word, her anger mingling as she remembered those days. So much pain… so many faces… come and gone… At last Bellamy looked toward her daughter, the look in her eyes haunted. “What happened at the raid… happened before, in another, when I was about your age now.” The woman explained. “Alongside Acere of Winterfell, the first wolf to give me a chance. I went for a maim then too.” She sighed heavily. “The battlefield… doesn’t stay as it is for long…” Her gaze lifts skyward, brow furrowing as she herself tries to make sense of it. “It’s… it's like I’m there… and not… battling those as a wolf of Ethne… and fighting for my life as a child… at the same time…” Another pause, the heaviness of her posture lingering. “You… you should release me from the pack, before those wolves come seeking retribution.” Her words were quiet again. “Ethne will be a target for my actions if you harbor me, Hay…” Again her gaze strayed, back to the lands beyond Ethne. “...and those who harbor a monster… will face guilt by association…” It all came forth like a rush of water. The dam that had been holding all of this back was gone… and now that she had to face it… Bellamy felt older than ever. If time could not heal that damage… then what could? "Speech," 'Thought.'

Haydée sits near her mother, a quiet offer to listen given by her mere presence. There is no anger, no shame on her features because the young woman does not have room for either in her heart; especially when it comes to her mother. While the older woman has carefully avoided the topic of life before Ethne, the past often has a nasty way of catching up to you and it happened at the worst possible time. Emerald eyes watch the still water of the pool; the juxtaposition from the turbulent water near where the waterfall feeds it to the calm area further away seems to be reflective of the two wolves that sit by the water’s edge.

When Bellamy speaks, remorse thick and heavy in her tone, Haydée does not say anything and simply allows her mother the space and time to get out everything that she has been holding in. Features remain calm as she listens to all the grisly details, her eyes never leaving the calm water that reflects the dark clouds above and her mother’s sorrowful features. It makes sense that the past trauma had been building for years, simmering underneath the surface until the moment she thought that her family had been threatened had caused it all to be unleased.

Bellamy goes on to instruct her that she should have Haydée release her mother from Ethne so that they are not caught harboring a monster. The older woman’s voice falls away, the turmoil and worry that she has been struggling with for years is now laid bare for them. Fear often causes one to assume the worst, to think that they will never be accepted for some secret they consider too horrible to voice. Yet, healing cannot begin until those skeletons that have been hiding, molding in the closest for years can see light and be given the proper burial they deserve.

So, after a couple beats of silence, Hay simply says, “No.” The clouds above rumble, the lightning in their bellies voicing its anger to the world below and promising more rain soon. A gust of wind tugs at their still frames, sending ripples to dance across the crystalline surface of the pool, obscuring their forms in its reflective depths and the young Leader finally lifts her green gaze from the water to bring them to rest on her mother’s face. What she has to say is important and it takes her a moment to gather her tired thoughts into a coherent string of words.

A sad, knowing smile blooms across her face as Haydée slowly begins, “What happened at the raid was… bad; I won’t lie. However, you are family… hell, you are Ethne and we do not turn our backs on family just because life gets difficult. We are all in this together, no matter what lays ahead of us.” There is a confidence in her words that Bellamy seems to be lacking right now and she quickly pushes on, “Your past does not define you mom. It shaped you, made you into who you are now but it is not the only thing that you have done.”

Pausing for a breath, Hay directs her attention to the area around them, lifting a paw to indicate it as she continues on, “You built this. With dad and wolves who looked up to you, who saw something wonderful and strong in your leadership. They flocked to you for protection, for understand, and for love and you never once hesitated to give them that. So, no. I will not turn you out into the cold because of one mistake. And that is exactly what it is, a mistake. I only hope that, now that you have given voice to your past, you can begin to heal.”

Lifting a paw to stall any words her mother might have tried to insert as Haydée firmly says, “However, since you cannot distinguish the battles of your past with those that happen now, I will not allow you join any raids or fights until you seek out help at the Hallows. You do not have to stay but I hope that you will take this opportunity to heal so that, one day, you may join me in defending the pack without seeking to horribly harm those who trespass.” As her paw falls back to the earth, all the wind seems to leave her sails and the exhaustion that the young Leader feels is written deeply into the lines of her face.

Green gaze slides back out over the water as Haydée contemplates everything that she must do in the wake of the raid and silence once more falls between the women.


"Haydée Kedieo"

Fear gnaws at Bellamy. Fear of rejection. Fear that her daughter won’t understand… and also the fear that maybe she will. The woman flinched at the single word her daughter spoke, that fear rising. The worry that she will bring danger to their borders… that all of them will be hurt because of her. The thunder rumbles above them and the woman focuses on the ground at her paws. She feels sick… What was worse? Her daughter trying to stand by her, to support her, and risk the pack, or being left alone for the remainder of her days? Tears prick her eyes as Bellamy leans into Haydée’s smaller form. “Hay…” She struggles to find the words as she looks at the young Leader.

A whine passes her lips. She longs to speak, to find the words to protest, to insist that her leaving will help her keep them safe. She might have built Ethne for the right reasons, but putting them in danger is unthinkable. She lowers her gaze, ears flat against her head. Her daughter forbids her from fighting, from defending the pack. But… “I don’t think the Hallows can help with this one, Haydée.” She sighs softly. Healing… how was she meant to heal from this? How could she learn to accept it, to live with it? To… overcome it.

“Your father was the only one who came close to helping me through my past…” Bellamy closes her eyes. “...I almost maimed your sister’s mate, just for having her scent on him… it was your father that really broke me out of that state… gave me enough pause to avoid doing so…”[/clor] Guilt continues to gnaw at her. The wind continues to tug at their fur, the wind bringing with it the scent of the next storm rolling in. If anyone would be capable of helping her sort through the trauma… it would be someone from Ethne.

“I will avoid fights with other wolves for now.” She speaks softly. “I don’t want to make things worse for you… You already have so much on your plate…”

For a long moment Bellamy watches her little girl. “This was never meant to be your burden to bear… I’m sorry…” Her eyes close. “...I would give my life for this pack, for you and all of your siblings, so that you would never know pain… All I want is for you all to be safe.” She had the right intentions, even if she had acted… far harsher than she should have. When she opens her eyes again, Bellamy gets to her paws. “...Lucy has a collection of herbs to boost strength and provide energy. I’m sure there is still much to do… you should see her before you do anything more.” Bellamy pauses.

“Be safe, little one… You might be an adult now, but you are still my little girl. If you need help, make sure you ask for it, okay…?” A lesson she had learned the hard way. “I will wait for you. We’ll… we’ll talk more once you sort things…” There is so much more that needs to be said, to be done, but Bellamy will wait… and pray that none of Ethne face retaliation for her “mistake”...

-Exit Bellamy unless stopped.-

"Speech," 'Thought.'