In a more sober state Flurry might have pushed back on things more, might have flinched away from the contract but as it was she was dealing with a lot of big feelings and wallowing in her self pity and having a good cry felt like the only release she was gonna get. When was the last time she'd been held? A less fuzzy mind might have remembered the pink guy from her last heat season but it had been such a brief meeting in the grand scheme of things he had slipped her mind. So when she'd been young? And yep... Now she was definitely crying.
"S'not like I'm not also angry about what they did to Sid or anythin' I just-" Flurry hiccuped wetly. She should honestly probably actually be eating the fish Sakana had offered. "I was there when you were born, I watched some asshole kick Deluge because he was angry with all of us because he'd decided what Sparrow did was all of our crimes, even you and your siblings. So new you could only wiggle around. We weren't much older. It scared me for so long, and I see everyone around me doin' the same thing. Assumin' the actions of an individual must be a crime shared by the whole and it scares me more. It's never gonna end and we'll always be the fuckin' bad guys and the weight of protectin' everyone is too much. Someone's gonna die if this keeps up, someone's gonna have to pay with their life." It was the logical conclusion of all the fears she'd been harbouring for a while now. The flood gates had been opened and any filter she'd developed to protect herself and her thoughts was gone. Words tumbling out of her more than she was consciously choosing to say them, their connections tenuous at best. "I jus' keep seein' tha' the only logical end is war or death. We keep kickin' hornet's nests. We keep pickin' up grudges and playin' with them like we ain't one of the least liked packs around. Like there ain't one day gonna be someone angry enough to destroy us an' no one willin' to help us."
Flurry lay there for a moment, head on the ground and body jolting with her altered breathing. It felt nice if she was being honest, having the bigger wolf against her and as the initial wave of emotions were finally cried out she could start to try mirroring his breathing, even if it was halting and uneven. Occasionally she'd match him for a moment before her breath would hitch and fall out of rhythm again. "I ain't got nothin' else. Ain't got anythin' but the Raiders. Ain't even got a single real friend. Not even here. I jus'..." Flurry's breathing hitched again and it took her a moment to be able to speak again. "Ma and dad got each other. Deluge's got Dread. I don't got nothin' else. I can't lose th' only thing I got!" Flurry knew in the end her brother's would be fine, they always seemed to bounce back easier than she did. If the Raiders crumbled they'd find something else. But Flurry? She'd be lost. Would have no where else to go, no one else to turn to. Even as alone as she felt here, even as aware as she was the only ones who actually gave a single shit about her were her family, it was still better than nothing.
