A deep soothing song

Life seems to be nothing but a constant struggle for Haydée. From the time she was a pup, it felt as if she was cursed; from the tiger trying to carry her away to taking over Ethne after barely turning one, it has never been an easy road. Yet, it should do it again and again if it meant happy lives and good health for those she cares about. Plus, she doesn’t to burden others with her own struggles because, as a leader, it was her responsibility to shoulder them alone. However, as she lays beside Eltrys, a man who had quickly proven easy for her to talk to, she finds those doubts once more leaving her mouth.

As he talks of it not being easy, the russet woman diverts her eyes down her paws that are stretched out before, a half-shrug lifting a shoulder before dropping it back down again. Yes, life had not been easy but Haydée does not like to bemoan that fact out loud because she knows that many are either unsympathetic or would think it is a weakness to point out the facts of life and call herself a victim. Emerald green lift as she looks at Eltrys, features drawn tight with sadness as he talks of everything that she has had to deal with in her reign as alpha.

They lay so close to each other and she almost shifts to lean into him, needing the grounding, friendly touch as she fears that her own mind will run away from her. Gaze moves to face once more before slowly sliding away as he gently remarks about it being a wonder that she is still standing and her head tilts back as she lifts her eyes to clear, faultless blue sky above. Thoughts twist and turn, tripping over themselves in a rush to berate and decry his kindness because surely, she does not deserve it.

Ears slowly lower to head as she loses herself for a moment to the dark ocean of self-deprecation and emotions, like rolling waving, appear and disappear on her features in the quiet space between them. Finally, her mouth parts and soft, choked words are offered, brimming with hatred for her own weakness as she questions, “Am I? Every time I look at myself all I see is the ghost of a pitiful pup, too weak to be leading. My mind has become my enemy and I often find myself wishing that I would just… fade away.”

A gentle ripple of tranquility passes across her features at the thought of dying, of giving up her miserable life so that her pack and family would be safe. Suddenly, Haydée remembers where she is and who she is talking to and she shakes her head, dispelling the heavy, yet intriguing thoughts that have hounded her day and night since Gilgamesh’s injury. Green eyes find their way back to the earthen man’s face and a weak, humorless smile tug at the corners of her lips as she offers, “Sorry. I usually try to keep these thoughts to myself but lately…” a shoulder lifts and falls while a sigh rolls past her lips.

Suddenly, a fancy takes hold and Hay boldly says, “Eltrys, no matter what happens to me, please protect my family if trouble tries to come for them.” She cannot deny that there is a blood feud between her and the Raiders now and that it may very well only end with her death but, as long she knows that they will be cared for, then the russet woman could rest easy. A small, slender paw lifts, moving to try and gently come to rest on top of one of his bigger ones as her expression softens into something more… peaceful.

Haydée’s voice is as soft as her face as she gently says, “You are a kind soul Eltrys and someone I have grown to feel a kindred-ness to in the short time we known each other. You deserve all the wonderful blessings that this world has to offer and so much more. I hope that every righteous desire of your heart is fulfilled and that, one day, you will find true happiness in the companionship of another.” As she pours out her hopes for him, the small woman already thinks of herself in the past tense, as if she will not be around for much longer.

While she cannot read the future, she does not wish for him to get tangled up in her web of misery and woe because he deserves more. Eyes travel down to where her paw gently touches his and Haydée grows embarrassed, quickly trying to remove the touch that seems to have electrified her soul and emboldened her spirit. If only life wasn’t so cruel to her, the russet woman could see herself falling deeply in love with him and, in fact, she has already started to; which is why she feels that she must distance herself from him… for his sake.


"Haydée Kedieo"