you'd have to stop the world just to stop the feeling

Theory

Of course she couldn't stay in Avalon. Or with Sparrow. The minute she tried to put down roots, she was overcome with an unshakable guilt so strong it turned her stomach. She'd lingered at the edges of the territory for a while, catching up with Corvus and his brood, and of course she visited often... but it didn't feel right to stay. To impose. After so long on her own, wandering out of her mind from illness and then simply wandering, pack life no longer suited her. It felt like a cruel joke. Everything she'd ever wanted - family, safety, the laughter of children surrounding her - it was within reach. And she didn't want it.

Well, maybe she didn't deserve it.

Theory huffed, surprised how thick the cloud of breath was on the wind. It had gotten strangely colder the closer she got to the shore when the opposite should have been true. Auster was at the height of summer - she had expected the air here to be far more temperate. Instead, it was a cold so sharp that each breeze ruffled her fur down to the undercoat and scraped her skin like needles. Perhaps it was just a passing cold front. As soon as the thought occurred, a snow squall started up. Just a few flakes, fat and heavy at first. The ocean divided by the Bifrost was angry. Choppy swells ate at the sand bar, covering it in spots. Theo narrowed her eyes, tucking the cask of liquor closer to her chest. It swung by a heavy leather cord around her neck. She'd bartered for it with the raiders before setting off, but the merchant she'd bought from wasn't a familiar face. He'd had a glint in his eye when he promised she'd never tasted anything like this before and she'd simply snorted and counter offered, undercutting his original price by a fair margin. It must not be that special because he'd quickly agreed before taking his leave. No matter, it was rude to show up to a party empty handed and it made for a funny story that she could tell to whoever she cracked the bottle with.

She was half way across the sand bar when the sky turned a darker shade of grey and all of the air seemed like it was sucked out of the atmosphere.

Snow came driving down, so thick now that it nearly blinded her. The wind howled across the ocean, stirring up taller cresting waves on either side. Her bright blue eyes turned wide, a shudder of fear racing down her spine that she hadn't felt since... well, the last time she could remember feeling like this, Mount Vulkan was erupting.

Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.

This fear was primal. The great biological imperative: survive, survive, survive. Her paws scrabbled at the sand which shifted perilously beneath her, evading her grip. Shaye's feather whipped at her ear in the wind, threatening to fly loose. No, please. Don't take that from me. You've taken everything else. And who, exactly, was that? She'd never believed in Abraxas the way Thalia had, but she had always been somewhat spiritual. There had to be a higher power. There had to be reason behind blizzards and volcanoes and floods. She couldn't stand for it all to be random, cruel chance. There was greater meaning to be derived. Once upon a time, they had prayed together. Theory sent a wild thought up into the sleet and now: Let me live through this. I know there is something else I'm meant for, just show me. Just show me.

From what I’ve tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.

Finally, she found purchase on the quaking sand and tore down the Bifrost, as if she could outrun God bearing down on her.

"theory speaks"

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Thread		Forum	From	To
1.	you'd have to stop the world just to stop the feeling	The Bifröst	06:03 PM, 06-12-2024	05:12 AM, 11-19-2024

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you'd have to stop the world just to stop the feeling

good luck, babe!

Theory