Of course she couldn't stay in Avalon. Or with Sparrow. The minute she tried to put down roots, she was overcome with an unshakable guilt so strong it turned her stomach. She'd lingered at the edges of the territory for a while, catching up with Corvus and his brood, and of course she visited often... but it didn't feel right to stay. To impose. After so long on her own, wandering out of her mind from illness and then simply wandering, pack life no longer suited her. It felt like a cruel joke. Everything she'd ever wanted - family, safety, the laughter of children surrounding her - it was within reach. And she didn't want it. Well, maybe she didn't deserve it. Theory huffed, surprised how thick the cloud of breath was on the wind. It had gotten strangely colder the closer she got to the shore when the opposite should have been true. Auster was at the height of summer - she had expected the air here to be far more temperate. Instead, it was a cold so sharp that each breeze ruffled her fur down to the undercoat and scraped her skin like needles. Perhaps it was just a passing cold front. As soon as the thought occurred, a snow squall started up. Just a few flakes, fat and heavy at first. The ocean divided by the Bifrost was angry. Choppy swells ate at the sand bar, covering it in spots. Theo narrowed her eyes, tucking the cask of liquor closer to her chest. It swung by a heavy leather cord around her neck. She'd bartered for it with the raiders before setting off, but the merchant she'd bought from wasn't a familiar face. He'd had a glint in his eye when he promised she'd never tasted anything like this before and she'd simply snorted and counter offered, undercutting his original price by a fair margin. It must not be that special because he'd quickly agreed before taking his leave. No matter, it was rude to show up to a party empty handed and it made for a funny story that she could tell to whoever she cracked the bottle with. She was half way across the sand bar when the sky turned a darker shade of grey and all of the air seemed like it was sucked out of the atmosphere. Snow came driving down, so thick now that it nearly blinded her. The wind howled across the ocean, stirring up taller cresting waves on either side. Her bright blue eyes turned wide, a shudder of fear racing down her spine that she hadn't felt since... well, the last time she could remember feeling like this, Mount Vulkan was erupting. Some say the world will end in fire, Some say in ice. This fear was primal. The great biological imperative: survive, survive, survive. Her paws scrabbled at the sand which shifted perilously beneath her, evading her grip. Shaye's feather whipped at her ear in the wind, threatening to fly loose. No, please. Don't take that from me. You've taken everything else. And who, exactly, was that? She'd never believed in Abraxas the way Thalia had, but she had always been somewhat spiritual. There had to be a higher power. There had to be reason behind blizzards and volcanoes and floods. She couldn't stand for it all to be random, cruel chance. There was greater meaning to be derived. Once upon a time, they had prayed together. Theory sent a wild thought up into the sleet and now: Let me live through this. I know there is something else I'm meant for, just show me. Just show me. From what I’ve tasted of desire I hold with those who favor fire. Finally, she found purchase on the quaking sand and tore down the Bifrost, as if she could outrun God bearing down on her. "theory speaks"

In the midst of a storm Searching for shelter I came upon One single feather For so long now, time had stood completely still. While the rest of her close kin had all but disappeared - some had left these lands some time ago, moved to spread His word to far away lands or return their homelands to glory - Thalia had remained. Surviving, purposefully reclusive, biding her time until Abraxas himself sent her a sign. Surely he would, all in due time. Thalia Abraxas was nothing if not dutiful and patient when it came to her God. He hadn't let her down yet and he wouldn't now. Knowing He was always with her meant nothing was unconquerable, even a freak snow storm. Since when had snow come down so far south, anyway? Eyelids narrowed over orange eyes as she studied the horizon, noting how dark the horizon looked, like night was creeping in a little too quickly. That wasn't the only indicator that something wasn't quite right. The smell of frigid moisture in the air was strong, too, and impossible to ignore. A shiver wracked her body as a gust of wind whipped by - it felt more like it cut straight to her core though, taking her by surprise. She hadn't meant to wander so far south. Auster wasn't a place she'd ever spent much time in, even when Aerie had claimed lands not far from here. The sand bridge that connected the two continents looked more ominous than she remembered; a vast, bleak stretch of sand that disappeared into nothingness as the snow squall began. The swirling flakes obscured the lands across entirely, hardly inviting her journey across. The russet-pelted woman hesitated for a long while at the northern end of the Bifrost, wondering if there could be anything at the other side that she hadn't seen before. Maybe, but it didn't feel likely. Still, moving was all she did these days. These lands felt barren of Abraxas influence and there was no only so much she could do on her own. She'd spent so many days wondering if she ought to return home too, to the lands her father had been born into, but something in her heart told her she needed to stay. Like an invisible anchor, keeping her tied here even if she couldn't quite tell why. Large paws carried her across the sand, though her movements were deliberate, cautious. The visibility was growing worse by the second, and she could see the snow squall growing up ahead. But not just across the Bifrost - snowflakes were swirling all around her, even faster as the wind picked up speed at an alarming pace. She could go forward, or backwards, or even stay in place. Any of those options seemed just as dangerous. Thalia heaved a sigh as she weighed her options and then began to move forward. Her faith in Him would keep her safe, until He deemed her time in this world done. She knew her final purpose hadn't been served yet, so Thalia moved without fear, even as the storm began to intensify all at once. The Abraxas woman braced herself against the wind and snow, eyes squinting shut hard as she moved - at first a careful walk, and then suddenly she found herself needing to sprint, racing against the freak storm. Her visibility was reduced to practically nothing, though the feeling of her paws on sand helped keep her grounded. Forward. Always, always forward. Knowing He would keep her safe didn't keep every muscle in her body from fighting to survive as the icy snow whipped at her face, stabbing sharply at her nose with every inhale. The water at the edges of the Bifrost turned to waves, lashing out angrily over the sand at her paws. The storm was too intense for her to see anything but her own two paws and the snow and water that billowed at the edge of her vision. She only knew anyone was even nearby when she nearly barrelled into them, only seeing what she thought was a stranger when she couldn't avoid them. Another wolf appeared out of nothingness, or so it seemed to her. A sign. Thalia didn't recognize it as such a thing yet though, whipping past Theory in an attempt to make it across this hellish bridge in one piece. Panting hard, eyes squinting against the snow. She didn't even register who she'd side-swiped, paws pounding hard against the ground as she aimed for the other side. A half-hearted wish For something better Gracefully cursed, I thirst

The wind was powerful. It buffeted her from side to side as she ate up the sand. There was a strange moment where, even as she ran straight forward and hadn't changed direction, she had a sinking feeling that she'd been running the wrong way this whole time. Theory gasped for breath, each inhale searing down her throat with preternatural cold. All that kept her pumping forward was adrenaline, icing her from the inside as the cold licked at her eyes. They were burning from stray snowflakes and sleet. Theo slitted her eyelids to protect them until she was almost running blind. But if it had to perish twice, I think I know enough of hate That was when she was nearly shoulder checked off of the sand bar. Theory stumbled, her front right paw slipping halfway into the bitingly cold water. She yelled, but it was a formless scream that was eaten quickly by the wind. The stranger's tail was lashing in the wind and it whipped right up under her nose before they were swallowed by the storm. A familiar scent. Like passing through a meadow and suddenly scenting lilacs in full bloom when you haven't seen a lilac since you were a pup: the scent brought back memories. Her eyes glittered, wild with a fire she hadn't felt in seasons. In years. Theory regained her balance, staggered by the weight around her neck like a millstone. She focused on the feeling of the cask swaying hard, buffeted by her chest with every stride. Thud, thump, thud, thunk. The ache of it hitting her over and over kept her grounded and focused. Just a little more pain. She could take it. Theory began to run, chasing memories. To say that for destruction ice Is also great As she pushed herself, the snow began to ease up. Slowly, slowly, then all at once. By the time she set paws on Auster, the weather was mild. A true summer's day. She wouldn't have believed any of it had happened if she didn't feel the frost stiffening her fur. Theory turned to look behind her, chest heaving from spent exertion. Her lungs burned. Sure enough, a dark storm cloud sat squarely on top of the Bifrost. The wind here on the outside of the storm was still strong, but it was a balmy breeze. As she watched, the clouds broke into smaller pieces and were drawn further out into the sea by the breeze. Ice and snow glittered on the sand bar underneath the summer sun like scattered jewels. Her breathing slowed. She turned to face the ghost she'd chased across the sand. And would suffice. "Thalia. Is that really you?" "theory speaks"

The wind around her roared violently, its force nearly toppling her over. Never in her life had she seen such a storm, and so far south - but her life had been made up of so many strange things that it didn't feel as strange as it might to some. Sometimes things just weren't as you expected them to be, and persevering despite it all was important if you wanted to keep going. Eyes barely seeing at all as she pushed through the whirling snow, ears flat to protect them from the bitter cold, she was aware of little more than the sand beneath her paws, and the ice-cold water that lapped at her from all both sides. A vague yell followed her as she rushed past someone. The way her senses were being assaulted by the brutal storm that had suddenly hit, she didn't register anything about the voice. Just another wolf caught in the freak storm, trying to make it across the Bifrost. What timing they both had. As Thalia neared the other side, it seemed as though the storm let up, far more abruptly than she could've anticipated. A few stray snowflakes danced around her face, eyes still stinging from the cold, though they seemed to melt before they hit the ground. Here, by the shoreline, it was chilly but not as cold as it had been on her journey across. Thalia gave herself a good shake, feeling the frosted tips of her fur melting quickly under the warmth of the sun above, peeking down from behind quickly dispersing clouds. She appeared then, seemingly as soon as the storm faded away. It stood dark over the Bifrost still, though it seemed they'd both escaped its clutches. Thalia sure wasn't about to head back across anytime soon. Running into Theory again, in these strange circumstances, was nothing short of a miracle. Thalia knew there was no other explanation for it. Her jaw unhinged slightly before she clamped it shut again, the words that threatened to spill out instead caught in a tangled knot in her throat. "I wasn't sure I'd ever see you again," was all she could think to say. Theory had told her to forget her name, to never come looking for her again, and she'd obliged obediently. In her eyes, it was one last act of devotion to the woman she'd never quite been able to commit herself to. An act of love.

It felt as if the world had tipped out from underneath her and she was falling, falling up into the sky. Theory felt herself float outside of her body, the queerest sensation of observing herself from a distant perspective. The beach seemed small from up here. A sea bird called from behind her out over the thrashing waves and she felt each individual hair on her skin stand on end. It was really her. There was no denying it. All she had left of their last meeting were flickers and blurs - so much had been eaten up by the illness. Her memories often failed her. Luckily, not the earliest ones. The most precious ones. But these last few years? It had been often worse than she'd ever admit out loud. It was frightening enough to have to live it, she couldn't bear to tell the few wolves left she cared about that she only had snatches and pieces of the last few years. Things had started to firm up more about 7 months ago, and that was when she'd finally found herself returning to Corvus at Avalon's border. She was confident her memories would be whole going forward. But could she be certain? As the cloud cover finally broke and the sun shone brightly again on the beach, she was rocked by that other worldly sensation of deja vu. I have been here before, looking across at you on the shore. I have been here before... wrestling you in the waves... It was the first time they'd stumbled upon each other just outside of Abaven's borders. They'd been young then. Unspoiled. Full of kinetic potential. A song yet unsung. And here they were now. Grey flecked their muzzles. Her heart twisted in her rib-cage. Theory broke into a quavering smile and she dropped into an exaggerated play bow in the smaller waves. The water hit her chest and it was deliciously warm. When the waves receded, she rocketed across the damp sand to tackle Thalia back into the oncoming wave. Water erupted around them in dazzling arc. When the water rolled out, Theory had Thalia pinned gently beneath her. "Oh, it's you... I found you," she breathed, dropping her nose to rest beneath Thalia's muzzle. Theo had seen the wolves preparing for this festival months in advance. She'd known wolves from around Boreas would flock here, pack affiliated or not. Attending had been her best chance to catch sight of Thalia again, or ask around and see if anyone knew of her whereabouts. She had been hoping to make some connections that would eventually lead to being able to track her down, but here she was. Waiting on the other side of the Bifrost, like a perfectly wrapped present. Or a miracle. "theory speaks"

For so many years now, nothing had felt quite right. Her close family dispersing had left Thalia feeling unsettled, unfulfilled, always searching for her purpose in a vast sea of... well, nothingness. If any Abraxas wolves remained at all she had not heard hide nor hair of them, and she was convinced they were not serving Him in the way they ought to have been. It was up to her, and her alone, to carry on His legacy. He just had to show her a sign. She'd spent so long searching for how, when suddenly the pieces fell before her and clicked right into place. Maybe it'd been Theory all along. The bird that soared overhead cast an unusually large shadow over her, causing Thalia to flinch slightly. The emotions that flooded her were overwhelming, and for once she wasn't quite able to fight to keep them away. The smile that broke over the other woman's features was like the first thaw after a long, brutal, seemingly endless winter - the cold melted away all at once, and all she saw was life. Potential. Thalia mirrored her smile with ease, the corners of her mouth twisting into a playful grin that didn't fade even when Theory charged her. The impact sent her backwards, falling hard into the sand and warm water below. The wave lapping at her hindquarters didn't stop the way her tail was wagging, sending a spray of water across the sand. They'd both aged so much since they were together last, but Theory was no less beautiful. The first time they'd met was when Theory had bested her, under the agreement Thalia would come every time she called, for a full year... but the truth was that Thalia never intended to ignore the other woman's calls. Even when she sent her away, for what she thought was the last time. She made no effort to fight being pinned by Theory - if anything, it looked like she welcomed it. "I've missed you," she admitted softly, a rare moment of vulnerability from the Abraxas woman. But Theory had a way of effortlessly cracking open her stony exterior and letting everything soft underneath spill out. Now that she was older, and so much more tired, she didn't bother trying to hide it. Instead, she lowered her head slightly, nose burying into the damp fur on the side of Theory's neck, drinking in her scent thirstily. "You're okay," Thalia said after a moment, as much a question as a statement. Did Theory even remember how unwell she'd been when they'd seen each other last?

"I've missed you." Theory felt the words dance along her spine, relieving aches and pains she hadn't even known she'd been carrying. Years and years of weight dropped off of her shoulders with those words. Why had they spent so long apart? She couldn't pretend to remember the reasons now, or even act like they mattered as they once had. The last few years lost to illness aside, they had spent so long dancing carefully around each other. Meeting in secret. Afraid, for some reason, to claim each other. But her muzzle was grey now. Her body ached in the mornings. And yet, when she caught her reflection in the still water, she felt the same as she always had. She felt young, in her soul. It was only her body betraying her. Theory pressed her cheek against Thalia's as the smaller female buried her face in her neck. She had hoped she might learn word of her at the bonfire, but this was beyond her wildest expectations; she wanted to savor it and commit every touch to memory. Theo closed her eyes and exhaled softly. The sun was bright enough now that it almost hurt to look at the brilliant sandy beach without averting her gaze. Had there been a storm at all? Only the heaviness of her fur, damp straight through to the undercoat, gave her any reason to believe it had occurred. "You're okay." Her mouth went dry. Theory nodded vigorously into Thalia's thick ruff of fur around her neck. "Yes, yes. Better now," she said quietly, nudging her neck firmly with her nose. Once she would have shied away from what she wanted to say, but the adrenaline of crossing the strait galvanized her: "Better now that I'm with you." The waves drew in again, warming the frozen tips of her toes. Theory dug her toes deeper into the sand and slowly stepped off of Thalia and reclined next to her in the shallow water. "A strange healer found me, by the time I'd gotten better they'd disappeared..." she trailed off. Could she rely on her own memory? Certain things she could pick out in detail: the healer's missing leg, the searing bright green of their eyes, but so much else was cobwebs and mystery. "I feel myself again," she finished, assertively. That much was true. "But I don't wish to speak of the past. Not right now. I want to drink to our future." Theory lifted her gaze to meet Thalia's and smiled. Now that she had her in her sights, she wasn't planning on letting her go. Theo shrugged out of the leather cord that had held her gift for the festival safely in place. By some miracle, it hadn't opened and spilled all over her in the mad dash for safety. Although it had been intended to be used for the celebration, she couldn't imagine a better reason to celebrate than the lovely creature before her. Theo cracked the seal on the bottle and took a deep swig. "To whatever may come," she announced, nosing the bottle closer to Thalia. The sky was beginning to streak with delicious shades of pink and purple, and she could hear the movement of others in the underbrush leading away from the beach. They would drink, and then they would attend the festival. Together. "theory speaks"

So much of her life had been uncertainty, always waiting for a sign for her next move - always waiting for something more, something greater. Thalia had never felt quite fulfilled, even when things were going well, not in the way she always felt when she was with Theory. Maybe this was what she'd meant to do all along. Eligos had pushed her to infiltrate Abaven's ranks so long ago, to learn how they lived, to maybe bring another powerful family into His light. But maybe it'd been as much about her relationship with Theory as it had been about how the relationship could serve her. Something about being with her had always felt sacred, holy in a way she'd never quite felt with anyone else. This feeling - the way her heart beat hard in her chest, threatening to overtake her senses entirely, the way Theory somehow had her grinning from ear to ear in a way she hadn't since she was a pup - it couldn't be anything other than divine. The grey fur on Theory's muzzle was even more evident now as she leaned in close, a reminder of how long they'd spent apart. Never again, she thought solemnly to herself. Theory's words made her smile grow even as she moved off her, lying next to her on the damp sand, the water still licking at their undersides. There was so much that could be said - but what was the point? Theory was alive and well, and so was she, though lately she her body was beginning to show signs of aging in a way she hadn't anticipated. "Don't make me leave again," Thalia requested after a moment, accepting the bottle without question, though she hesitated just a moment. It was as much a plea as a demand, and her eyes burned with tears that threatened to fall. She couldn't be away from her again, not now, not ever. "To our future," the Abraxas woman agreed, taking a deep swig of whatever was in the flask. There was no worry, no paranoia, things which she used to carry with her always. This was where she was meant to be, and everything was happening just as it needed to.