We need to talk

he’d had feelings for when he was Hazel. they hadn’t acted upon it - thank the stars - but the emotions between them had been a form of infidelity, hadn’t it? Spider looks at Bas’ sad face and feels an answering throb in their chest, but it’s buried beneath a layer of chill. in this matter, it’s clear that Bas is confused and fumbling, wading through a situation he hadn’t foreseen. a situation that should never have come about, a less generous part of them sneers. Spider’s first instinct is to push it away, quash it down - but they’re sick of doing that. sick of suppressing every negative thought and feeling at the risk of hurting someone else. maybe it’s selfish, but right now the only hurt they want to think about is their own. they keep waiting for the tears - their chest is hurting and their throat is tightening the way it does when they’re about to cry - but maybe they’ve used them all up. maybe they’ve cried every last allotted tear, and all they have now is a throbbing emptiness and a cold frozen spot in the pit of their stomach. they keep thinking of Ignita’s face at the festival, of ‘forgive if i do?’ playing on repeat, a little more distorted every time, until it doesn’t even sound like her voice any more but a mocking pantomime. she’d know how deeply this would hurt them, and she’d done it anyway.

“i wish she’d never come here.”

they’re not sure if they mean to say it, but it rings true through the air between them. they’d never raise a paw against someone Bas has claimed for himself, but they can’t deny that they want Ignita gone. they watch Bas’ face, wondering if he’ll chastise them, if he’ll yell and rage and defend his new mate. he’s never gotten angry at them, but have they pushed too far?

"Speech"