In the middle of the night

He felt her little body shudder at the memory as he spoke it. It had affected her perhaps more deeply than he had realized. He was no stranger to correcting a slave's mistake. He had easily taken the life of his own guard after they had dared touch his angel. This was a different world. A world where he was stripped of servants and guards and status. As her bright blue eye lifted to catch his while he sought her forgiveness the warmth there surprised him. He felt her head pressed into his, wetting his fur with her tears. Silent forgiveness was evident in every fiber of her fur.

His eyes darted to Ganymede's as he interjected. Ears pinned back in sudden shame and the burning gaze darted away. He didn't know someone could read him better than he knew himself. Yes, he needed to face that he was afraid of being alone. He was about to recoil when suddenly he felt the boy reach out and create a bridge with himself. Ultyr brought his eyes back to Ganymede's with a question as he placed his terms for an arrangement. His brows furrowed slightly at the promise he asked of Ultyr. He was silent for a moment as he mulled it over. He felt Lailah shaking between his paws as he rested them around her. As he turned his attention to her, the mirth on her face was clear with the way her silent body was shifting... she was laughing! His own smirk creased his maw until she closed her eyes and the exhaustion fell over her face again.

He brought his attention back to the promise Ganymede was hoping for from him. He brought one of his legs up to cover one of Gany's and looked into those tired pale lavender pools filled with hope and expectation. He wanted to get lost in them. Enchanting him to say whatever it took to bring Gany closer to him. He closed his eyes as the dilemma presented before him became tangled in the shadows of his soul.

"I see how important... not lying... is to you, but what you ask..." Each word felt like leeches pulled from the skin. Their figurative dagger teeth bit him as he spoke. "I don't know if I can make that promise... tonight." Warning him to say as much could distance Gany from him. How could he not lie when he was still trying to sort out what the difference was? Was he a God or not? He had begged his mind to let him be, to let him believe, it was too hard not to believe in his godhood. Perhaps his powers lie in Archnemes? Perhaps that was where his godhood stayed? Where was the lie?