Siduri had asked her father to go on a walk with her. So much had happened in such a short amount of time and yet it felt like ages since she'd been injured in the raid. The first raid injury, that is. The girl had more scars than a yearling had any right to, but that was the Raider life, was it not?

Things had changed in the pack. Siduri was more sullen. More withdrawn. That wasn't to say that she didn't love her family or want to be with them, but she was just so damaged. And after what she'd done to Jael... Gods... what if she lost herself around one of her younger siblings?

The point of the time with her father today was to let him know where she stood. What her mindset was. Perhaps she was searching for a bit of comfort. A bit of fatherly reassurance. Gil was still the most important wolf in Sid's life and his word was golden. She only hoped that she was still held highly in his eyes as well.

"Siduri"

Parents say that they don't have a favorite pup. Gilgamesh was here to tell everyone that's a damn lie. It was no secret that he held a fondness for Siduri. The feud between himself and Ethne was more than enough proof that he would go to the ends of the earth to make it right for her. She deserved restitution and while he had little hope that would happen now, he had at least attempted. Hell, he had gotten his brain knocked a little loose because of it, but that was on him, not her. Gilgamesh may be a bad guy, but he didn't point paws.

So when Siduri requested his presence for the day or however long she needed him, he didn't hesitate. Didn't make her wait or even contemplate rescheduling for a different day. The pups could wait. Modesty could wait. Everyone could wait. If Sid needed him, he'd be there.

Approaching the pastel girl calmly, Gilgamesh smiles upon his favorite daughter. "You look stunning, as always," he comments, bumping his shoulder against hers as they begin their walk. At first, he is quiet, thoughtful at least as they traverse the moor. He wonders silently if Siduri will speak first or if she just wanted his company. Either option was okay with him. After all, he wasn't a wolf of many words anyway. But it still bothered him that something was indeed on her mind and perhaps, she just needed a little push.

"Did you want to talk about something?" Gilgamesh inquires, head canting slightly as he glances at her.

The Raid King, Gilgamesh

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Gil didn't waste any time in answering her summons. Sid's tail swished back and forth as her father drew in close, ears tilting back in a childlike gesture of submission as she placed a lick to his chin. No one else received this kind of respect from the pastel girl. Gilgamesh was special in that regard. He was probably the only wolf that could reign her in, should she go too far.

Her father's words brought a smile to Sid's lips. "Thanks, dad." After his gentle shoulder bump, the pair began to walk. Siduri kept a leisurely pace and was silent for a time. Gil noted the silence and spoke up, asking if she needed to talk about something. Internally, Siduri took a deep breath. She was nervous. Would this information make her father send her away? He had a right to know though.

"I... do want to talk to you about something. Something that I'm ashamed of." The pale yearling kept walking as she spoke, her gaze straight ahead; really anywhere other than her father's face. "When I hurt Jael... I wasn't me. I mean, I was in there somewhere, but I had no control. It's happened a few times since I hit my head." Siduri filled her lungs with air, brows lifting for a moment. "I've been keeping myself away from everyone... because I'm afraid I'll lose myself and hurt them." Then she was silent, ready for whatever judgement her father passed.

"Siduri"

Gilgamesh would soon find himself disappointed at well himself when he hears the words that Siduri has to say. His teeth clamp together as his heart twists in his chest. His little Siduri... He had tried to stop all of it. Attempted to give her retribution. And instead... had been met with unrivaled brutality and twisted deceit. How could anyone still believe Ethne were the "good guys" in this situation? He can't help the sigh that escapes him as he nods his head gently.

"There are things you can do," Gilgamesh begins, his yellow gaze shifting to Siduri for a moment, noticing how she purposefully doesn't look back at him. "You can medicate. I'm sure Sakana knows something strong enough to keep your wild spirit subdued," he grins softly, attempting to prod at her in a teasing manner. "Or you can do it the hard way. I have helped others before during similar situations. It is not ideal, but perhaps if I were to intervene, I could help talk you down," he speaks openly, tenderly, in only a way that very few wolves would ever hear him speak. Would she be up for these options? What was truly on her mind?

The Raid King, Gilgamesh

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Sid couldn't stand the look in her father's eyes as she told him her secret. The young woman looked away, her gaze, a mixture of both parents, sliding along the fog of the moor instead. At least the fog wouldn't look heartbroken or upset. Gil's voice filled the silence again as he gave instruction and suggestions. A soft scoff left Siduri. "Sakana has been helping. He's the only one other than you that I feel safe around." It was a heavy thing to admit. Her feelings for Sakana were growing in a direction that was... more than friendly.

Gilgamesh suggested that he help pull her out of such states and Sid swung her gaze back to his, brow furrowed. "I don't want to hurt you, dad." The pastel marked girl growled in frustration. "And I don't want to have to medicate just to be around others." With a groan, Sid collapsed into the thick grass of the moor and brought her paws up, covering her face. "I just want to be normal, dad. I want to be able to trust myself."

"Siduri"

Attempting to be a good father for her, he listens. A subtle nod at her admission toward Sakana. If they had been attempting to hide emotions, they hadn't been doing a good job. He knew what it felt like to be in love, to fall for someone you didn't feel worthy of. It was no surprise to him that Siduri had fallen for the healer boy. Her heart was kind enough, in the right place, they just needed to get her head right. Which made him not the best guy to talk to considering his own situation, but nonetheless, he would be there.

Lifting his own gaze to meet hers, he raises a brow in question at her words. Even as she thumps onto the ground and covers her face, muffling her words, he can't help but sigh. "Siduri, what is normal?" Gilgamesh questions, shifting his weight over his paws before he too folds his legs beneath him and lays beside her in the dewy grass of the moor. "I hardly trust even myself most days," he speaks quietly, resting his chin across her shoulders. "Life is not about normal or trust. It is about survival. You do what you need to make sure you see tomorrow," the admittance of how he lived his days was rough to hear aloud, but it no lie.

"What is it that you don't trust?"

The Raid King, Gilgamesh

table coding by bunni ♥