They were allowed to explore the pack lands with increasing freedom, and while some of her siblings took to it quickly, Lore was... slower. More careful. All of her actions were carefully gauged to cause the least fuss. Every paw print, every blink, every noise was calculated. She didn't find herself doing it consciously, it was simply her way of doing things. All of the other puppies had flooded out of the den and off to different corners of the orchard, but she found herself mulling over a particularly tall log after the flurry of activity dissipated. It was very large and it was the first thing in the natural world that really made her feel quite small. Lore scrambled on to her back legs to paw at it, try and get a better feel for it, but her paw went straight through rotten wood and she feel into the hole it left behind. Her jaw hit the ragged edge of the wood with a click and she felt something bitter bloom on her tongue as her teeth clacked close over it. She began scrambling wildly, half in and half out of the hole she'd made in the log, her rapid, frightened breathing filling the space inside until it was all she heard.

The way Thalia had held her children close to her chest, so tight at first they surely felt like they couldn't breathe sometimes, was beginning to loosen. Slowly, but surely, as they grew older and stronger. It was the most important thing to her that they grew to be capable, capable beyond what she and Theory could even envision. The world was a cruel place, after all, but Abraxas was even crueler.

Idly pacing through the Orchard, trying to keep an eye on as many children as she could as they wandered about and played, she zeroed in on Lore. For a long while she simply observed, always interested in seeing how her children interacted with the world. Never had she expected to become a mother, but now that she was one, she slid easily into the role. Protective, sometimes overbearing, and critical to a fault, but all out of love.

One wrong move and Lore found herself sliding headfirst into the log she'd been studying, kicking up at the air to try to untangle herself. Maybe a softer mother might move to rescue her, but in every mistake there was always a lesson, and she and Theory wouldn't always be around to save them.

"Never let your guard down," Thalia warned her, far more warmly than she spoke to wolves other than her own offspring, as she drew closer. Gently she scruffed her daughter, aiming to lift her up and away from the hole she'd accidentally made for herself. "You must always watch your back, even if you're at home, and especially when exploring something unfamiliar." Anyone could turn at any moment - family or otherwise - and she needed her children to have that sense of awareness of their surroundings. This little mishap was a good segue into Lore's first proper fight lesson, Thalia thought to herself.

Lore continued to madly scrabble for purchase, her breathing growing louder and louder. Blood flecked her lips from where she'd bitten her tongue. Just when she reached a truly frenzied scramble, she felt herself being plucked right out and up into the air as if by Abraxas herself. The young girl continued to twist wildly in the unknown assailant's grasp until her senses returned to her and she realized it was just her mother. Immediately she went slack. It was as if she had melted in Thalia's jaws. "S-sorry, mother," she stammered, wrinkling her nose at the taste of blood in her mouth. Lore reached for the ground with the tips of her toes, trying to find purchase on solid soil again even as she was suspended in Thalia's grip. Mother was always more... unyielding than Mommy. Less prone to giving in. Tough. Lore's ears saddled pitifully, looking every bit as remorseful as she felt. "I'll watch my back - and my front - and my sides - all directions, really," she babbled. Anxiety flickered in her chest like a lit flame. Mother was right. You never knew what was coming next. speech

Thalia didn't get joy out of being the mean mother. It wasn't like that. What she did get satisfaction out of, though, was knowing how capable her children would grow to be under the guidance of their two mothers. They would be unstoppable. She lifted Lore as gently as she could and moved her to safety,

"Being curious is not a bad thing," Thalia said softly, after a moment. She knew there was a careful balance between making sure her children were always cautious and alert, and also not terrified of everything that lurked in the shadows. The latter was hardly ideal, either. "And you know mommy and I encourage that. You just need to be aware."

Lore was a little more cautious than some of her other siblings. She'd be careful not to lean too hard into fostering even more trepidation in the young girl.

That was exactly what motherhood felt like to her, so far- a careful balancing act. But it was necessary to ensure that they grew into the wolves she knew they had the potential to be.

Thalia nodded along with Lore's words, though she also gave her a good look over while she did. The small girl's fur was mussed up, but she didn't look injured, which Thalia was grateful for. "Yes, hmm, good," she hummed thoughtfully as she watched her daughter. "You especially want to make sure you're remembering to protect the softest parts of you, too."

It was hard to be straightforward and explain things to her children in a way they'd understand, a way that wouldn't terrify them. She didn't need to explain that quite yet that she meant they needed to protect their vital organs, so they didn't get disemboweled, or bleed out without chance of being treated.

She didn't show it, but for a moment imagining the mortality of her own children made her grow faint. She paused for a moment before speaking again.

"The places that are sensitive and make you laugh when you get tickled there. Like your throat, and your belly," she explained, shifting her body slightly to demonstrate how she might protect those areas, tucking her head low and tilting her muzzle down toward her chest slightly.

Being curious is not a bad thing. Lore repeated that in her head a few times, trying to believe it. She was very curious. Everything interested her - it felt like the world had a secret pulse that she alone was built to discover - but she had to be careful about it. There were so many ways for things to go wrong, like she'd just very well proven. She licked her lips a few times, trying to get used to the taste of her own blood. It almost made her a little dizzy. That had come from inside her body. She'd been cracked open like an egg and she had leaked out into the world. Lore frowned when her mother told her to protect the softest parts of herself. "Everything is soft," she said, opening her mouth to reveal the small cut on her tongue. "How can I protect all of me?" Nevertheless, when Thalia demonstrated how to tuck her head to protect her chest and body. Lore held the pose for quite a while, but it made her muscles ache to keep the unfamiliar stance for long. Eventually, she shuddered and released the position but didn't pant from exhaustion. "Like this?" speech

Firm, yet loving, was the type of mother Thalia aspired to be. She never wanted any of her children to doubt that she'd move mountains for them, but likewise she didn't want them to think she'd love them no matter what they did. Some things were unforgivable. They'd all learn that in time. It was hard not to feel a little softer than she usually would, though, as her small daughter tried to steady herself, licking blood from her lips.

"Everything is soft," she agreed gently. Lore wasn't wrong. Their bodies were temporary things, prone to injury- only in the afterlife would they become immune to all the dangers that lingered in this world. Thalia nodded slightly when Lore showed her tongue. "But some parts are even softer. Some parts of you help protect the really important things inside you. Your throat, and your belly, where your food goes in and moves through," she explained carefully.

Another nod was given to Lore's interpretation of setting her defenses. Good enough for now. "Very good. Now, you can't protect all of you at once, not unless you hide, and we as Abraxas do not hide," Thalia explained. "Sometimes you have to decide what parts of you need the most protecting. It's hard, but something you learn with time. If you find yourself on your back, for example, you'll want to keep your neck protected- it's an easy target if someone were to be on top of you."

As if to demonstrate, she closed the distance between them and gently nosed beneath Lore's chin. It was a difficult feat, to stress the importance of these lessons without being morbid, and Thalia hoped she wasn't spooking Lore too much.

Lore had never given much thought to her insides. Never so much as right now, especially. She gulped and felt the motion move through her throat and deeper down inside her, somewhere unknown. The soft things that mother told her to protect. The little girl squared her shoulders, trying to track the feeling of her gulp again, but it disappeared deep inside of her. It was impossible to visualize what her mother meant, although she tried to. The idea of making a choice - of ceding some part of herself and allowing herself to be vulnerable in the name of protecting some other, more sensitive bit - made her a bit queasy. But mother made her choice clear: they did not run. These were her options. She had to choose. When Thalia closed the distance between them and nosed beneath her chin, she tried to tuck it closer to her chest and stop her mother from exposing her neck. "No! Not the soft part," she said, trying to sound a bit bigger and braver than she felt. "Why is choosing a spot to protect better than running away?" If she managed to flee, couldn't she save all of herself? speech

It was difficult to give these lessons to her children, a careful balancing act between being unreasonably firm and too soft. More and more each day she found herself thinking of her own parents, and comparing herself to them. Was she ever doing well enough? Were there things she was missing entirely? It'd been a long while since she'd felt that deeply anxious, insecure part of herself creep up, but if anyone were to make it resurface it'd be her children.

All in the name of love.

She watched with narrowed eyes as Lore tucked in her chest, pulling away slightly. "We do not run, as Abraxas," she simply reminded her. Thalia would drill that truth into their heads, one by one, until she was tired of telling them. Until they understood. "When you turn and run, you can never be sure of what's coming. If you stay and fight, and protect yourself, you can see exactly what you're facing. We are far too brave, too strong, to run."

She knew her little daughter wouldn't understand the gravity of what she was saying, not entirely, even if she was already rightfully a bit rattled. Thalia saw so much of herself in her daughter that it scared her sometimes, made it even harder to know exactly how to train her in a way that would be productive. "What'd you find in that log, anyway? Anything interesting?" Temporarily putting the lesson on hold, she gestured to where Lore had been exploring before she'd found her.

Lore gulped, surprised at how loud the tiny sound in her throat was. Mother's words still frightened her, even if she didn't want to admit it. And she wouldn't admit it, because she wanted more than anything else to capture that sheen of pride in Thalia's eyes. "What if... what if I stay and fight and I'm focused on the fight and then something comes up from behind me?" Lore babbled quickly, looking over her own shoulder so suddenly that she startled herself. Her mother's next question brought her back out of her anxious reverie and she turned slowly back to Thalia, mulling over her answer.

"I... I was too afraid to open my eyes once I was inside," she admitted, her voice quiet and small. Would she be angry? "How can I not be so afraid?" Lore added, quickly, to try and show that she didn't mean to act like this. She wanted very badly to do whatever was correct, she just wasn't sure how to go about it. Surely her mother could show her how to do everything right the first time, so nothing like this would ever happen again.

If only.

"speech"

coded by NachoMumma