Flurry was regretting her choices the previous night, and not just because her pounding headache was making being awake and moving rather miserable. Still one thought had solidified in her head. At the very least she had to try something. She frankly hated the way things had played out. Flurry had done her absolute best to track the other woman but with her hangover and the fact they lived on a goddamn island it was nearly impossible to actually do so... Maybe at the end of the day this was just another mistake she was making. The fact she wasn't sure she'd even be able to find Rivin was certainly not helping her optimism. Flurry was taking a break under one of the willows, the shade they offered helped to soothe her pounding head. Yep she needed to stop getting so drunk. For many reasons.

- | movement | speech  -

code by Cloudy

Updated 01/13/23: I am currently on indefinite scarcity, please be patient and don't remind me of missing tags right now.

Her anger had subsided… the events of the day prior a blur… she had sought out Sephiran… but… gah, her brain felt foggy. Had Caedes…? Rivin groaned as she took each step, tail swishing back and forth as she searched for Jack. With her anger fizzled there was another emotion rising to the surface… hurt. The pack she had been part of since her birth… they had failed to recognize what Jack had done for them… practically slammed the one thing he did “wrong” in his face and publicly shamed him. Did the battles he won mean nothing? Did the battles she won, the work she did… was it all meaningless? It mingled with bitter feelings. She… she put her trust in Gilgamesh. She felt betrayed… Maybe she was never meant to remain in the Raiders after all. She didn't even notice Flurry’s scent, gaze on her paws as she stepped into the other girl’s line of view.

"Speech," 'Thought.'

Flurry was seriously considering dulling her hangover with the bottle she'd brought with her. What a mess, she knew it wasn't the solution but sometimes it felt like the only option. No she'd try a little bit longer... In a moment once her her headache had been down for a bit. Maybe for the first time in a long time it seemed luck was on her side, as a familiar scent reached her just a moment before the woman of the hour stepped right out in front of her. "Oh thank fuck." Her voice sounded too loud and she winced before rising to her paws and taking a step towards Rivin. Her words spoken in a way that made it obvious they were stream of consciousness, a little too fast. "I've been looking for you. The way things were handled, it wasn't right. I love my parents but we often don't agree on the correct course of action, and I wish I could do something but I don't have that power and I don't know felt wrong to just leave things the way they went and-" Flurry cut herself off realizing she was probably losing Rivin, if she even had her to begin with. She glanced back at where she'd left the bottle.

"Any chance you wanna drink?"


- | movement | speech  -

code by Cloudy

Updated 01/13/23: I am currently on indefinite scarcity, please be patient and don't remind me of missing tags right now.

With the brain fog so thick, trying to shake it, she didn’t notice Flurry approach until the other girl was right there and… talking way too fast. She blinked with surprise, green gaze shifting to her former packmate as a look of bafflement crossed onto her face. Flurry was right to assume that she was losing Rivin because the red streaked woman was already pretty lost. “Uh…?” What was she on about exactly? The way things went? Rivin was still processing as Flurry slowed down and asked if she wanted to drink. It certainly wouldn’t hurt, given her mood. She shrugged. [colo=#e84255]“Sure, why not.”[/color] She held nothing against the Scion, nor did she expect her to clean up her parent’s decisions. Each wolf was responsible for their own actions, right? “Things still on fire on the islands?” An attempt at casual conversation, though her expression as she mentioned the islands shifted. She was… upset about what had happened. The feelings of hurt, and a deeper one of feeling betrayed, stabbed in the back, lingering under the surface as her gaze wandered.

"Speech," 'Thought.'

Yeah Flurry had totally lost Rivin, she felt her face flooding with heat. She'd been struggling a lot lately so she really should have been more used to it by now but somehow she always managed to find a new part of her ego that had yet to get beaten down. Still it seemed Rivin was open to drinking at least and Flurry was grateful that at least she could cover her own embarrassment. She plopped herself down and gestured to the bottle, she'd take it after Rivin got a good first swig in.

At Rivin's question Flurry grimaced, not bothering to hide her frustration and exhaustion. "At this point I'm starting to believe that's the natural state of things." Flurry sighed, her pounding head felt worse just thinking about it. "Feels like all I do nowadays is try to put out wildfires with a piss." She paused for a moment, looking out of the shade of the willow. "You both deserved better. I know it's not worth much but for whatever it is worth I am sorry."

- | movement | speech  -

code by Cloudy

Updated 01/13/23: I am currently on indefinite scarcity, please be patient and don't remind me of missing tags right now.

bWith the mess her head was in, the drink was welcome. Rivin wasted no time in taking the bottle and taking a hefty swing, the burn of the alcohol slithering down her throat with the swallow before she passed it over to Flurry. She wanted to forget. To forget the pain, and the anger… even if she felt she was justified in being angry, she was more hurt at how things had gone now. Would she regret seeking her brother, seeking Sephiran? She could barely remember the encounter with the purple wolf… Fuck. Another sigh slipped past her lips as she let her green gaze slide to the other femme.

“Definitely seems like it is. Has been as far as I can remember.” The next comment caused her expression to soften, her gaze sweeping out towards one of the willows. Flurry’s apology came as a surprise too. The red streaked girl shook her head. “It is not your responsibility to have to own up for what your parents said or did… and honestly it sucks you’re the one trying to clean up their mess. You deserve better than that, too.” An offer of understanding, at the very least. Flurry was far different… in her approach to things than her parents.

“My feelings on the whole thing are… a fucking mess.” Rivin snorted, muzzle wrinkling with her frustration. “I’m angry and sad and hurt and, it's all bullshit really.” Was it really? Her gaze shifted to her paws.

“Your dad should have known I’d get angry, calling Jack out like that… not just because he’s my boyfriend, but that compassion he showed… it saved my fucking life. If it wasn’t for him I’d be somewhere under the ocean right now, fish swimming through my rotted ribcage.” It wasn’t a great picture, but it was the truth. “Your dad knew that.” One of the only ones who knew. It was because of that conversation that she became a healer… that she had the heart to heart with her dad… that she tried to become a better wolf and start giving a damn about her packmates…

…and that was why it hurt so much.

He hadn’t said anything when she got angry in her defense. She had looked up to the man, respected the hell out of him for all he had done trying to help her. Yet… she felt like he failed her. It felt like both he and his mate were allowed to express anger and disappointment but their packmates weren’t. They weren’t allowed to have any emotions of their own, only shut up and do as you were told. That was no way to lead… a good way to lose loyalty and faith. That hurt reflected in her expression as she continued to stare at her paws.

“I know it wasn’t good to leave the meeting,” Rivin continued. “But I didn’t think snapping at your father in front of everyone and calling him out like he did Jack was going to be that great either. Far more disrespectful than walking away to cool off and talk later, I thought.” A scoff left her lips. “Guess I was wrong about that too…” She could the warmth of the alcohol spreading through her body now, and she welcomed its embrace.

Let me forget her mind silently pleaded.

“It’s whatever…” Her eyes opened again, eyes narrowed… to resist the tears that threatened to prick at her eyes. “My mistake for assuming one of the older generations gave a fuck…” The hurt again was a layer within her voice. She hid it in her anger, but it was there to see. Her complicated relationship with Ignis, the good and the bad, then thinking she had a father figure in Gilgamesh only to have him hurt not just her, but Jack too… it was more than she wanted to face. She doubted either of the leaders would see their fault in the side of things… So what was the point of wishing for what was?

All of her life, all the effort she put into being a better wolf…

…Should she really have bothered if this was the result in the end?

"Speech," 'Thought.'

Flurry accepted the bottle, took a healthy swig and passed it back. She wasn't looking forward to how much more she'd have to drink before she got herself well and truely senseless. Drinking the day after always meant more effort. But it was also the only real coping mechanism she had. If the whole kerfuffle was any indication her parents hadn't exactly modelled healthy emotional regulation. She didn't even blame them, not really. Hard to throw stones when you live in a glass house. She just tended to panic and anxiety slightly more than rage. Slightly. So if the choice came down to stewing in her own panic spiral or getting blackout drunk she was gonna pick the latter everytime. She never said it was healthy, just less terrible.

The young woman sat in silence, accepting the bottle whenever it was passed her way but otherwise letting Rivin vent freely. She was listening though and it was obvious in her physical reactions. A dark chuckle at the agreement on fire seemed to be the norm. A small appreciative smile as Rivin said she shouldn't have to clean up her parents' mess. (She knew but no one else seemed to be trying far as she could tell.) And despite herself, a small almost sad smile as Rivin spoke of her relationship. What was that like? To know there was someone out there who'd have your back? She loved her siblings sure and Scald had clearly been worried about her after the meeting but it was... Different. She knew if push came to shove and Deluge had to pick between her and Dread, she'd be left to fend for herself. She didn't know if Scald had someone like that, but she knew it was only a matter of time. And  Rexx? What did she care about Rexx? He'd already proven she wasn't worth shit to him. Bastard. Flurry kinda hated he'd turned up just as everything was blowing up. She had enough to deal with without trying to navigate all the shit him being back brought up. Frankly it was a wonder she'd been sober for any amount of time last night.

Flurry snorted as Rivin seemed to finish. Her words feeling eerily familiar. "It's not an excuse but shit went sideways before the meeting. Some older woman decided us trying to take some chickens was a death threat or some shit. She... She did some serious damage to Sid. Sid technically did start it but I think most of us agreed the line was crossed when the grown ass bitch decided to respond by ripping up the shoulder of a child. It's about the only thing me and my mom agree on from the whole mess. I- I saw red, I wanted to hurt her the way she'd hurt my sister, just a kid. And I did. And I'm not ashamed of that but I do seem to be the only one who felt shit had been set to rights." Flurry sighed, and drank further. "Maybe I only felt that way because I was the one that got to do that. I don't know... But we'd just barely got back and a kid, a yearling, some little wolf from Ethne showed up... I think offering herbs? Poor fool. My mom went after him, tried to kidnap him. He got away thank Abraxas but then the Ethne Alpha showed up and Sakana of all wolves decided it was his turn to just fuck shit up. I don't know exactly what happened, I know they fought but I had to go chase Calli down because she chased after the little guy and of all my siblings she was the most likely to do some serious damage."

Flurry was starting to think the whole drinking thing was making her headache worse. Or maybe it was just having to think about the quick succession of actions that had taken place. "I can understand why my dad might have been particularly upset to see what he thought was mercy being given to a wolf from a pack that had mauled his daughter. And no matter whatever else she is my mom would never be okay with what happened to Sid, it's a shitty place to be emotionally." She groaned, finding herself leaning back on her haunches. "Doesn't make it right still."

Flurry glanced at the bottle and gave a breathy sardonic chuckle. "But also clearly of the four of us you've got the most emotional maturity. I drink so I don't scream like my parents do." And even then it only worked for so long, and she always ended up hurting the wolves around her when shit finally boiled over. She wasn't any less volatile, she was probably actually more so. Much more unpredictable, lashing out suddenly. What a fucking joke thinking she even had the right to criticize her parents like this. The apple hadn't even fallen from the tree it was still tightly grafted on. "I wish I had the strength you showed, maybe shit would be better for everyone if I had the guts to just call this sort of shit out." She didn't though. Another reason it was ironic she felt she could say anything at all. That and the guilt. Abraxas above she felt like shit.


- | movement | speech  -

code by Cloudy

Updated 01/13/23: I am currently on indefinite scarcity, please be patient and don't remind me of missing tags right now.

With her rant finished, Rivin took comfort in the bottle. She took several deep swigs as she listened to Flurry, brow furrowing. After a point though, she had to talk. “I saw Sid at the meeting… I’m sorry...” Her words were meant as comfort. She hadn’t been there, ears back at the knowledge. If Sakana hadn’t been actively tending to the girl Rivin would have gone to her instead of Jack. But she wasn’t going to get in the way of a more experienced healer. “I sure as hell don’t justify what the woman did, but hell, if some strangers showed up at my home and I wasn’t processing what they were there for, I’d fuck shit up too.” Her snout wrinkled, face darkening. “But to take things out on a child… You’d think there’d be limits… the adults sure, but a kid? She’s not even a yearling yet…” There was no hiding the fact she was upset about it too. But… Rivin had developed a soft spot for the kids in the Raiders. They were family. To know someone hurt one of their youngest made her sick.

“...and continuing to make a mess of things isn’t going to solve things. Warring with another pack over this isn’t going to solve it. Could complicate things for the Raiders too, given the fact that we’re not exactly friends with anyone.” …and other packs could have allies. “I’d be trying to speak to the alpha about justice. Not our style before but, fuck…” She felt the alcohol hitting more, her body feeling like she was swimming. “You’d think they’d care about a kid too…” Swaying.

“Shit sucks… but if Jack showed mercy… did he fight a young wolf too…?” She was starting to slur, thoughts beginning to fade. “He fought others…” Fought… who? She blinked her eyes several times. “I can g-go get… the bitch… for you g-guys..” An offer that would have been made if she wasn’t slurring her speech. A giggle left her lips. Yeah, the alcohol was hitting. How much of it did she have? “Carry her right to y-your mom, gored through and a-aall~” A pleased smirk on her lips. Yeah, that was right! She’d bring the horrible child maimer back to the Raiders and then all would be forgiven! It was all the perfect plan in her now drunken mind.

But Flurry seemed to be down on herself. Something that she waved off as she swayed into the other young woman. “No way, F-Flurry!” She exclaimed. She was getting loud, a content look on her face. “You’re strong! Y-you gotta… you gotta… keep things going…” She got to her paws, wobbling as she stumbled to stand in front of Flurry. “Next… Next R-Raid Queen!” She nearly fell on her face, attempting an elegant bow. She would sink to the ground then, tail wagging as she looked up to the other. “Buildiiiing us all b-boats… to stay a-afloat… hahaha!”

"Speech," 'Thought.'

Flurry gave Rivin a soft smile and shrugged, she'd worked through her anger about Sid already and ultimately there was only so much of that incident she could carry, but she appreciated the apology nonetheless.  She couldn't even disagree with her assessment about raising hell. And finally, finally after trying to get everyone around her to understand Flurry felt a little vindication. "S'what I keep sayin'." She said, raising the bottle back up to her lips. "But far as I can tell everyone's determined to start wars with everyone. Ain't gonna be no Raiders left at this rate."

There it was, that pleasant haze starting to come over her mind. She'd been drinking for a while now, longer than Rivin and it was finally starting to pay dividends. Rivin's questions about Jack made her frown, wracking her brain for the answer. "I think..." She'd been pretty focused on that older wolf who'd had a stick shoved up her ass. His opponent had been pretty small... distinctive colour and- Well Shit. "Fuck me sideways." She said, brows lifting with sudden realization. "His opponent had been th' little bastard who brought the 'erbs. No wonder he followed us." She hovered a forepaw in front of her, estimating about how tall he'd been. "Tiny guy, suppose Jack mighta been worried e'd break him."

But Rivin was already moving on, offering... To gore..? It took a moment for Flurry's mind to move through the fog of alcohol starting to cloud it. Gore who? Oh! Flurry shook her head, or at least she tried but that made her now slowly being drowned out hang over claw it's way back to the surface. Not good. Unfortunately for her it had brought some of the moment back into focus for Flurry who grimaced at mention of being the next raid queen. The corners of her mouth twitching up as Rivin tripped over herself and turning a bit bitter as she spoke. "Not at the rate I'm goin' I ain't." She took a long sip from the bottle. "If I keep disappointing' my parents by givin' a shit about not havin' to watch those I care about get hurt I don't think I'll get to keep bein' Scion." Honestly some part of her was stunned she'd lasted as long as she had, after that day on the beach when she'd broken down in front of her father he should have stripped it right then and there. That he hadn't was a small miracle.

Maybe she hadn't been a disappointment before, but she was almost certain one day soon she'd be that. Maybe it was a self fulfilling prophecy, maybe she was putting her finger on the scale but much as Flurry didn't want that she also wouldn't stop doing the things that'd lose her the only thing she had in the pack.

"Almost wish I could walk away like you did." Flurry said as she finally sunk back into impairment. "Not bein' banished I jus' mean..." Complex thoughts were harder now. "I jus' mean, I ain't never been that brave. Can't even- Can't even get m'own parents to take me seriously." Not that she'd done anything for them to. She looked sullenly down at her paws. "Y'had a lot more to lose than I do, an y'still stood yer ground. I only got the pack, ye... Ye 'ad Jack." When she said the pack she meant as a concept really, aside from her family she doubted anyone in it gave a single solitary fuck about her, and even then she was pretty damn sure, almost certainly wrongly, they'd not miss her long if she fucked off. If she couldn't stand to watch what she saw as a sure road to disaster she should at least have the balls to leave right? That's the double edged sword of giving a shit, while she still could she'd never turn her back on them. But as the drink continued to move through her the dark thoughts were pushed away for a moment and Flurry gave Rivin the most charming grin she could muster, which was to say: Lopsided and foolish looking. "Y-you looked so fuckin' cool. Jack's pretty fuckin' lucky."

- | movement | speech  -

code by Cloudy

Updated 01/13/23: I am currently on indefinite scarcity, please be patient and don't remind me of missing tags right now.

Flurry seemed to confirm her suspicions. At the very least Jack’s opponent had been a small thing, and one that had brought herbs to boot? She couldn’t help but arch a brow. The wolf was so small it could have been a kid… hell she’d be more surprised if he wasn’t. Of course with the help of the alcohol the size was much smaller than what Flurry had gestured. Still, as Flurry said that at the rate she was going she wouldn’t be the Raid Queen Rivin frowned. “Somebody needs to g-give a shiiit.” Rivin snorted. The raiders loved to cause trouble, to raid, but if there were no raiders left cause everybody up and got themselves fucked up then they wouldn’t have much to raid with. Rivin waved a paw. “Mayybeee they dun care, but…”[/coolor] Rivin flashed Flurry a big smile. “I know I ‘ppreciaa-ate it…” Her slur was followed up by another swig from the bottle.

“Pffft.” As Flurry called her brave Rivin snorted. “Pissy n-n-not brave!” The woman countered. She had a hell of a temper, but leaving the pack had hurt her. She took another swing of alcohol. “Yer damn right ya do…!” She leaned against Flurry, the lopsided grin on her face reflected just how much of the alcohol that had hit. “I’d do tha same fur you, cutie~” A giggle left her lips. “Ain’t re-aaaaally got frends… you and Jack…” She tried to be there for Diablo but she was pretty sure he’d bail if she got rough. “So letsa stick togethherrr~”

"Speech," 'Thought.'