The trip to the Raiders had gone far better than Bellamy had expected… but it was not without troubling information that the woman was to return home. She was sure that Saga would have had a meeting by now, to speak with the pack and inform them of the change of paws. The whole while that Bellamy walked, she couldn’t help but shake the knowledge that her daughter’s leadership had led the pack on this path. Leadership that she, as the Leader before her daughter, should have nurtured… but instead she had passed the pack off to her daughter at a time when she was far from able to lead.

Bellamy had always told her children not to allow them to be walked on, but a revenge raid? Honestly… What were any of them thinking when they had done that? And Haydee’s behavior when she had said she went to apologize… if she hadn’t grown angry, if she had listened and told the pack of everything that had transpired, would things have escalated? Had her daughter been so focused on making sure that Ethne did not seem weak that the pack itself had turned into a bunch of monsters? Would there ever be a way to redeem the pack from this, or were they forever damned to be one of the things that Bellamy had longed to cut from her life?

The woman knew she could not ask Haydee to go to the Raiders. They had the right to be angry with her, and with Saga for the damage that she had caused Gilgamesh. The woman sighed, stepping into the familiar territory of the Falls before lifting her muzzle to call for Saga. No matter what came of this, she at least wanted her daughter to be informed of what was to come.

"Speech," 'Thought.'

Her mother called for her, and she was unsure of the tone she heard in her mother's voice. Her ears flicked as she rose from her perch atop the falls, mind wandering to all that had happened and all that still might. What could it be that her mother was calling her for? Unwilling to keep her waiting, the young bear rose from her place and wandered on down the familiar paths of the falls until her mothers form came into view. She offered a small smile on her approach, but something told her this wasn't simply going to be a casual conversation. Approaching Bellamy, she moved to nuzzle her mother before settling back and observing her mothers demeanor. "Something the matter?" A rhetorical question. She had a feeling something was up. "Speak"

The woman debated just leaving, leaving without a word and… never coming back. The shame and guilt she felt made her stomach feel sour, and the femme shifted on her paws as she sighed. There was so much to say, so much to think about. But the question was, would Saga believe her? Or would she continue to press the matters with the Raiders until the pack was nothing but ashes? Her ears pinned back against her head at the thought. Her children were loyal to one another, to their pack, but could they understand that they had done wrong? That they were the bad guys here? She had debated too long… Saga approached and nuzzled her, but Bellamy didn’t move. Green gaze lifted to her daughter’s face, the look in her gaze reflecting the troubled feelings she had.

“Yes Saga, there is, and it’s… It’s Ethne.” Her daughter would know she hadn’t shown up to any meeting she would have had in her absence. Bellamy closed her eyes with a heavy sigh. What she was about to share with her daughter had troubled her soul the whole way back from the Raider’s lands.

“They believed Gilgamesh dead, and came to get him while your sister and I were away at the Hallows. There is a coalition forming against the Syndicate, but until Ethne sorts the blood feud with the Raiders, they will not be considered a part of it.” She opened her eyes and met Saga’s own. “I agree with Artorias… knowing what I know now. I took the Raiders the herbs we had been using to treat Gilgamesh and spoke to him there.” The woman shifted a little.

“Your sister… before the raid, had gone to the Raiders to ask for training. They were meant to be on friendly terms, as she had expressed understanding on who the Raiders were. That was why they brought children to the raid, to have them practice. It was meant to be one where they shouldn’t get hurt. Had the rest of the pack had any idea about the potential relations of the pack I don’t think they would have responded as they did. Especially in a revenge raid that should have never happened.” Bellamy’s gaze fell.

“My anger ruled me, agreeing to go along with that Raid back… But to approach the Raiders with so much violence, when they had done nothing but what Haydee had asked them to do, when they had already had a child maimed on our soil, was beyond wrong, Saga. I need you to understand that Ethne is NOT the victim. We are the bad guys here.” Another sigh as she shifted.

“I may not have made any decisions for the pack when your sister made me co-Leader, but I am just as much to blame for them as she is. I failed Haydee, failed to train her, failed to teach her how to go about relations between packs… and now she and Ethne are looked at as monsters. In a light that I had never wanted the pack to go. We were meant to stand up for ourselves yes, but never be vengeful to the point of hunting others down.” Bellamy looked back at Saga now. Hurt, guilt, shame… it all mixed within her gaze.

“Actions… have consequences. What you did was wrong too… the amount of force you used. And knowing what I know now, Gilgamesh had every right to ask those things of Haydee. He is not a bully, Saga. And if you continue to blame the Raiders for Ethne’s faults, this pack will crumble.” The woman shook her head. “I’d let the dust settle before you go speak to them… and… there is one more thing.” Bellamy averted her gaze.

“I’m leaving the pack… I will no longer be a member here.”

"Speech," 'Thought.'

Her mother did not return the affection, and only when she pulled back and looked down at her smaller mother did she see the look in her eyes. Yes, something was definitely wrong. And she'd wait quietly for her mother to speak. She had a bit of a suspicion what it might be about, and sure enough, it was about the pack. She remained quiet though, nodding as she waited for her mother to continue. But it seemed to be much more than that. She brought up Gilgamesh and the feud between Ethne and Raiders Hollow. How Haydee had agreed to a friendly sort of raid, but had neglected to inform the rest of the pack so that they were all aware of it. How her own anger had taken over during it, the revenge raid that Haydee had led, how Ethne was the bad guy in the situation. How she felt like she had failed Haydee in teaching her the leadership she needed. That Ethne would crumble if they continued to blame them. And lastly, the news that she would be leaving the pack. It was a lot to take in, and all she could do was sit in silence as she sifted through the load of information that had just been said. It took her a good bit as she sorted through it all, her gaze turning to look outside as she considered all that had been said. But why was it her responsibility now? Was it because she was the pack leader? She hadn't started any of it, and she hadn't meant to harm Gil as much as she had. She was simply protecting her own. Wasn't that what she was supposed to do? Sighing, she looked back at her mother. "If you want to leave, I won't stop you, mother. You'll always have a place here, of course. Should the pack still exist by then. But...as for everything else...I didn't really plan on seeking them out. I wasn't the one that made the deal, and I wasn't the one that trespassed to force an apology and I wasn't the one that tried to attack my sister while her back was turned. I didn't mean to hurt him as bad as it was, but I'm supposed to protect my family, no? Or just let them get attacked with their back turned? Turn a blind eye to it?" She shook her head. It was impossible for her to do that. "I certainly wasn't the one that made the decision to go and shed more blood...I was just following orders, isn't that what a pack does?" Maybe it was, maybe it wasn't Sure, she hadn't known all the details at the time, but now she did. More or less. But why did it have to be her mess to clean up? She was sure that her mother might have tried. Maybe Haydee did too. And even Corbie tried to assist, but the young bear felt that no matter what, the relationship between Polaris and Raiders Hollow wouldn't change. "Have we not tried to remedy this more than once? And each time they refused? Whether or not we are in the wrong, from what I'm aware, they have refused apologies and only want blood in return. Why would the pack want them as an ally if they wish to live on grudges? There are many packs out there, I'm sure we can make allies with the rest of them." She slid down onto her belly, trying to keep things in order in her mind, but there was so much to think about, and she wasn't so sure this was something she even wanted to fix. She knew little about the coalition that she was talking about, either. Why did it matter that those Raider wolves weren't a part of it? "Speak"

As Saga spoke Bellamy’s gaze softened. A sigh fell from the old woman’s lips and she shook her head. “No one is blaming you for what happened, Saga, nor so I expect you to continue it.” Her paw reached out and lay over her daughter’s own. “It is regrettable what happened to Gilgamesh, but you defended your sister on our own land. He had trespassed, went for her while her back was turned. We could not know what he planned on that moment and you defended your sister. I meant what I said that if you hadn't been so quick to act I'd have been the one to draw blood.” Her gaze fell.

“There isn't an easy answer for any of this. All I can ask you to do is to keep our family together. It is not your mess to clean up and, as you have pointed out, the Raiders will now only be satisfied when they have your sister. I can hardly ask that of Haydee… not when it is my failed example that lead her to make the decisions she made.” Another sigh. “As the founder of Ethne, it was my job to lead by example. How can the pack be anything but reactive if it follows me? If I stay here, particularly in a position of power, what will change?” Her sad gazw lifted to her daughter.

“Gilgamesh made it clear it is your sister who must face judgment… I attempted to offer myself up more than once, but they will have no other in this. Any continuance is on their end.” She furrowed her brow. “As far as the coalition goes… just try to keep the pack moving in a neutral stance forward. We keep to ourselves. While we can hope we don't become a target, at this point I don't know what any of the other packs think of us.” Her gaze fell once more.

“...and if you must… disband us. If the burden feels to heavy, there are enough neutral packs we could seek out that our members could find homes once more...” She drew back. “...and maybe… maybe that is what the pack really needs to be free of this weight of wrong…” It certainly felt like there was no way forward. If they were only going to be scorned for the actions of two wolves, maybe it was best to try for new beginnings.

"Speech," 'Thought.'